On The Road With Danny Concannon: 05'06'
by Ms.M
Summary: Where the road leads: Come w Danny and C.J. from episode to episode, convention to Inauguration & the next 3yrs to the Library opening. Present, future, life, death, birth and rebirth. Josh, Toby etc join in
1. Chapter 1: The Sure Thing

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. Sorkin and Wells. Thank you

**Spoilers**: The Entire Series

Feedback is very helpful. Thank you.

* * *

On The Road With Danny Concannon: O5'-06: The Final Year

A travelogue:

**Present: **

July- January

**Future:**

The next three years

Season Seven

* * *

My oh my I'm a restless guy  
Got a home everywhere I go

Well I ain't good lookin'  
And I ain't so smart  
But baby I'm a sensitive guy  
I ain't done everything there is to do  
But I'll damn sure give it a try

_**-John Fogerty**_

* * *

_**Chapter One:** "The Sure Thing"_

**Companion Episode**: The Ticket

* * *

_"…6 reporters in the White House press corp say you play favorites. It used to be Danny Concannon - now it's Greg Brock. So, it's….. a crush or an affair, or a mutually acknowledged but unrequited…. What we talkin' about here?"_

**_-Oliver Babish "The Ticket_"**

* * *

**Sure Thing**: noun. 1. _Something that is certain: "His victory is a sure thing."_

* * *

In the darkness, Danny felt the slow glow of sleepiness, on the edge of completely taking him in. He took in a breath, feeling the cool touch of his own sheets against his body. He was comfortable in the darkness. He was comfortable in his bed. Soon he would be deep in sleep, that's how close to falling he thought he was. He was wrong. The silence of the dark room, so dark you couldn't see his own hand, nor did he want to, was broken; a baby cried.

CJ groaned next to him. The sound from her mouth was so inaudible only Danny knew what she meant. CJ moaned, again, and hit her hand on the bed next to her. The muffled sound made it seem like she had taken the pillow and put it over her head. Danny had obligations, promises he had made, and he was happy to oblige.

"I got it." Danny moaned back to her in his half-sleepiness. He was never good when he was just woken up or about to fall asleep. He was always groggy without sleep, or early in the morning, and his voice matched his state, with a soft grain, something C.J. once remarked she found "cute." But this was part of his promise, the "pact" of sorts, he made to C.J. as partners, lovers, and now parents. Something Danny had no problem with. And it was his turn. C.J. needed her sleep.

Danny flicked the light on in his child's bedroom.

"What's wrong, kiddo?" Danny walked into the room yawning. He leaned into the crib and gently lifted their child from the cradle. He rested the blue eyed baby on his hip, and nestled the baby's head between his hand and his Notre Dame sweatshirt. It felt so right having the infant resting against his chest.

Danny walked into the living room rocking the baby up and down to ensue a sense of calm. It was halfway working. He found a small light and walked into the California den-like room with walls and walls of books. It looked lived-in and yet modern at the same time. He took a step and found himself in their sunken living room. A large picture window showed the lights of the city below. It was a nice house.

"Hey, you doin' good…?" He bounced the child again. "Maybe we won't have to stay up all night, this time." The baby cried. "Yeah…didn't think so…" Danny laughed and smiled.

Danny warmed a bottle and came back into the living room.

"So, what do we watch tonight, huh?" Danny took the remote with one hand and the large light of the TV illuminated the room like a spotlight. He had to adjust his eyes. "CNN, MSNBC?" He tried to play with the remote and find a station. He paced for a while and found himself too tired to really walk. Danny let out a sigh, and decided to sit on the couch. "See, I'm supposed to be too old for this." He said to the baby resting on his chest. He laughed and held onto the end of the bottle in the baby's mouth. "Yeah….I never saw this one coming." He leaned in and kissed the baby's head. "I never saw this one coming." He leaned into the back of the couch and watched the President on TV. His eyes felt heavy as he tried to stay away. Danny was always sure about a lot of things, which sometimes scared C.J., but this curve in history he could have never guessed.

* * *

**THE PRESENT**

Washington Post Offices

* * *

**105 days to Election Day:**

**Late July 2005**

* * *

The sound of phones, and people's voices, beeps and yells, and the rustling of printers and paper made the Washington Post office seem to bustle with excitement. "Washington Post News Desk, please hold. Washington Post News Desk, please hold. Yes, hello…"

"Okay!" yelled a young man in the corner of the room. He stood next to a large map of the United States. The young man stepped on top of the desk next to him. "Come and get it. Pick a state, any state." He gestured with the large blue and red markers in his hand. Someone walked over to him and he handed him a small map to enter his contest. "Blue means Democrat. Red means Republican. The sooner you place your bets, the more money you can make. Pick your states, ladies and gentleman. Voting isn't fun unless there's some money involved." He was young, he was cocky, and he was having fun.

Danny walked off the elevator and entered the festivities just as the man, well really a kid, jumped off his desk and someone else replaced him. Danny Concannon looked more like a rugged man of his early forties, and not a man in his last stretches of them. His eyes gleamed above the baggage a life in Washington, in any business, brought a man. He may have looked younger, and he may have been thinner, but somehow his life showed in the marks on his face.

The kid, with the markers, caught Danny walking in. It was hard not to notice the most famous reporter at the Post since Woodward and Bernstein combined. Danny didn't seem to notice the young man, or the activity. He was reading his paper as he traveled to his office, being used to now being in his own world. He didn't even notice when the kid fell into line with Danny as they both cleared the bay of elevators and made a left.

"Hey there, Danny. Ya wanna place your bets on the states?"

"The states?" Danny looked up, from his paper, at the kid.

"The states. We got a pool goin'. Quicker you set in your bets – more money you make."

"We're not placing bets on the winners, anymore?"

"Nawwww….no fun. Vinick's a sure thing."

"There's no such thing as a sure thing-and you know there are gonna be other races, other than the presidential."

"Ahh… who cares," he said with fun. Danny gave him a look.

"I don't know? …. The men and woman running?"

"See, Danny…most of America doesn't even vote in any other election other than the presidential one."

"Ya don't say…" Danny said in his sarcastic tones.

"You ask your average person who their representative is-they have no idea. Half of most districts don't even vote for the governor of their own state-let alone—who's gonna have a voice for them in their own congressional district."

"Yeah, but _this_ office is not the rest of America."

"They don't _care_, Danny."

"Yeah, that's where we come in."

"I'm sorry?"

"You know what - I'm in such a good mood I'm not gonna tell you how we're the ones who gotta make them care—I'm not gonna tell you how we're the ones who got their back and show them the facts so they can make those decisions. So they can start caring about their own issues. It's not about givin' people what they want, it's about givin' them the facts so they aren't pigeonholed into one idea. So, and I can't believe I'm sayin' this, they can make their own choices. People gotta know their freedom, and we're not here to help them forget it." Danny paused, actually feeling the effects of his own stirring speech. "You don't know your full potential if you don't know what that potential is. I mean come on. You're a journalist for crying out loud. Start acting like one."

"So, I'm guessing you don't wanna put in your money…"

Danny took a deep breath and tried not to be rattled. He seemed so rattled by things lately. "How, about this…..Give me Santos in Texas and Vinick in California."

"You really like to take the air out of the balloon, don't you, there Danny?"

"Yeah, I got my own pin." Danny raised one eyebrow in his dry humor.

"So, the Times' really is clobbering us on the leak thing?" The kid motioned to Danny's copy of the New York Times in his hands.

"Huh…yeah…" He looked back at the kid. "It is their story."

"Yeah.." The kid seemed awkward and started to walk away.

"Hey, Chris?" Danny called after him.

"Yeah?" The kid turned around.

"We could all be better teachers."

"Yeah…sorry, Danny."

"No problem." Danny took a moment watching the boy leave. He took a breath. Part of him wasn't sure he meant that speech anymore. He wanted to, and he did, but if kids like Chris didn't believe it, what kind of future did journalism have? Danny tried to shake it off, he was in a good mood, finally, and he wanted it to stay that way. He needed to stay in a good mood, the alternative just couldn't be an option anymore.

Danny looked back at his paper and used his back to enter his office.

He put his bag down, and turned around looking up from his paper. Danny could only smirk at what he found. He tried not to laugh at Maisy, who seemed to have found a friend, kissing that friend right in front of his desk. Danny put his paper down and still wasn't noticed. He put his hands in his pocket and coughed. They noticed.

"Ahh." Maisy pulled away and the gentleman looked like he might have a heart attack.

"I was just…" The young man jumped back.

"Yes, yes, you were." Danny smiled.

"I ..." The boy looked at Danny.

"Going, he was just going." Maisy gritted her teeth at him. The kid walked past Danny with his head down. Danny looked down again and tried not to laugh.

"See ya later, Kevin."Danny's eyes gleamed.

"Ahh yeah..." was heard as Kevin left the room.

"You're back!" Maisy tried to act all casual.

"Yeah!" Danny feigned excitement to get her goat. "I'm back!" He smiled from ear to ear.

"It's not what it looked like."

"Really, it's been awhile…but I think that's what it looks like."

"Ah…I…"

"Messages?" He bobbed on the balls of his feet. His eyebrows raised with glee.

"What?"

"_Messages?" _He couldn't help but smile from ear to ear

"I lost my head, Danny." She was flustered.

"And your sense of hearing?"

"What?"

"The messages? The phone. Picking it up and writing down messages." He laughed and spoke under his breath. "Unless your hands were busy…"

"Ohhhh…yes, yes…I have messages." She sped over to the side of Danny's desk and handed him his messages. There was a short pause while Danny looked them over.

"Thank you," she said.

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to say to you?"

"For not making a scene and you know…I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He laughed. "Just don't let it happen again." He read through his messages.

"Yes, sir."

"And I'm not being funny and as cliche as that sounds, I'm fine with it, but you never know who's gonna be around here, okay. Not at the office."

"So, you're not mad?"

"Mad at you for making out in an office." He smiled. "No, I don't think I'm mad at you for that."

"Okay?" She didn't get what Danny was alluding to, of course

"One day, you'll understand that." He walked over to his desk. "Never mind. Scratch that. I hope there is _never_ a day when you understand that." He looked through his messages.

"Okay?" She was very confused. "You're in a good mood."

"'Cause I won't fire you for making out in my office, yeah you could say that." He smiled. "I'm gonna go see Ted." Danny exited his office and Maisy followed.

"You're in a good mood?"

"What?" Danny turned the corner.

"Something's going on?"

"What?"

"Something's up with you."

"What?"

"She said something to you, didn't she?"

"Who?"

"CJ? She's always the reason your in a good mood."

"I…"

"She said something to make you happy."

"Nothing, nothing was said."

"CJ always puts you in a good thing."

"Stop it… And this is my normal mood."

"Not since the early part of this century."

"You know a couple of years ago that sentence had a lot more weight to it."

"You know what I mean."

"No, I really don't."

"Come on, what did she say to you?"

"Remember back when you wondered how far over the line you'd have to go again to really get fired."

"Yeah."

"Look behind you." And Danny walked into another office.

"You're only happy because of her, Danny." Maisy yelled to the closed door. People looked at her. "It's always the reason," she said to the confused crowd. "And you'll never fire me Danny. I've already been fired once; I'm like infireable."

"That's not a word!" Danny was heard yelling to her.

"Yeah- welll…." She looked to see she was being watched. "It could be a word." She huffed off.

* * *

**ALMOST THREE YEARS LATER**

* * *

CJ walked into the living room to find Danny, and the baby asleep, on the couch. She smiled and her eyes glittered. She took the remote out of Danny's hand and turned the TV off. She picked up her child, careful not to wake her, and brought the baby back to her room

The next thing Danny knew, he felt CJ sliding in next to him on the couch. She rested her head on his chest where the baby had been. Danny, in his sleepy stupor, kissed the top of CJ's head, and found himself falling back to sleep with his arm around her. Thoughts of the past ran through his head. He couldn't help but softly express how happy he was. He sighed. They were both too tired to move. Things were so different, but some things remained the same.

* * *

**PRESENT**

_The Office Of Danny Concannon: __The Washington Post_

* * *

"I know why you're in a good mood!" Maisy shot into the office.

"Ahhh!" Danny was not ready for her appearance. "Please don't do that." He took a breath. He ran his hand over his tired face. He took a gulp of coffee.

"You're counting down."

"What?"

"I did the math - 105 days to election."

"Now do long division." Danny said in a deadpan and kept on typing. "And chew gum at the same time." He continued his typing.

"And then just over two months after that…."

"I really haven't thought about it." He smirked and went back to his work.

"Oh, yes you have." Maisy set her hands behind her and semi-skipped into the room. "You've been thinkin' about it for the last four years- all the time—backwards and forwards, only now it's getting closer, so you got that extra _spring_ in your step…"

"Maisy-"

"That extra _jolt_ in your cola."

"Please stop."

"I get, I get it. You don't wanna jinx a sure thing, right?"

"Nothin's a sure thing, Maisy." He laughed it off.

"Sure there is. You can always bet on a sure thing. The sun's gonna rise and fall. Everyday- sure bet. I'll never learn how to play chess, sure bet. The fact that Nancy Vincenti in my high school would go home with the entire football team—sure bet. There are plenty of sure things." She made her way to Danny's desk. "You just gotta open your eyes to it…" She leaned in. "And be patient." She paused and picked up an apple on Danny's desk. "And a little confidence couldn't hurt, not that you've ever had a problem in that area—" Danny walked from around his desk.

"There's no such thing as a sure thing." He repeated, looking pretty preoccupied. He took the apple from Maisy before she could take a bite.

"Yeah, yeah." She flopped back intoa chair.

"Or, we wouldn't have a job." Danny ejected his memory disk and put it in his front pocket.

"Ohh… well….there's that…." She put her feet up on Danny's desk.

He looked at her and she took her feet down. Danny stood and walked toward the door.

"Ya know, I really hate this." Danny seemed agitated. " This time of year comes around and it's just a big shining light on how it's become less and less about the issues anymore. Oh, we all try and try, but it's never really about the issues. The real issues. Things people care about. Instead it's all about staying on message and getting the best sound bite. What's gonna get us to put them ten column inches above the damn fold. I really don't care who's screwing whom, or who's nanny isn't a citizen, I just care if they can do a good job and make this country a better place. Is there something wrong with that, anymore?" Danny stopped one thought and went right into another. "Everyone around here's got their decisions made already. What ever happened to votin' with your heart- and not voting for whomever you think is gonna win. No one gives the candidates a chance to let the public listen to both sides and choose -not just vote for what ever damn side the -whatever happened to the issues in this damn country?" Maisy looked at him and Danny saw he had gotten away from himself. "That's all I'm sayin." He ran his hand over his mouth and beard. He took a breath.

"Yeah… okay..." Maisy saw Danny needed his alone time. She went for the door.

Danny took a breath and went back toward his desk for a moment. Nothing was said for long time.

Maisy turned her head to try and see what was on Danny's face, but she couldn't, "Well…" She tried to get his attention. "I still believe in the sure thing," Maisy said with glee. "But, that little tirade, I have no idea what that was all about."

Danny muttered something and walked back toward the doorway of his office

"I'm sorry?" she said as he exited the office, just inches from her.

"It's like I said." He raised his eyebrows and exited the office. "If it's all a sure thing…where lies the fun?" He took his jacket off the chair next to the door and exited.

Maisy took a breath and watched Danny walk away.

* * *

_**Five Months Later:**_

_The Apartment of Danny Concannon_

_**Late Weds Night November 9**_

_The Day after The Election_

* * *

It wasn't quiet and yet it wasn't fast. It wasn't filled with fits of passion and ripping of clothes, but it wasn't uniform and unfeeling. Soft and tender, it was more than feeling, if that's even possible. They slowly pealed off each other's clothes; leaving them where they were. He took his time with her and she with him. They looked each other in the eye at close range.

They weren't crazy and overwhelmed with passion, that was for later. They weren't newlyweds and best friends caught up in the excitement of a future far ahead, that was for later. And they weren't two people accidentally conceiving a child that would make their lives even more worth the living, that was for later.

On that day, eight years in the making, they were just two lonely people seeking comfort in each other, seeking in each other what they each couldn't find within themselves. Putting the mirror up to see themselves reflected back in each other's eyes.

After a long hard winter, after the sweetness, and the reality, and the romance, there was something neither of them could have imagined. Love at its purest. CJ was right, they couldn't wait and she didn't regret it, not one bit. Shells of their former selves, each longing to find their true identity in the mist of uncertainty, they needed each other to remind themselves who they once were, what they once wanted, and where they were going. Going toward what had been set out before them, a destiny neither of them could get away from, an ending toward each other and an unknown future. It wasn't that she needed a man and he needed a woman, they just needed someone to believe in them so they could again believe in themselves.

And afterward she laid her head on his chest, feeling content with comfort in the warmth of his skin. She never felt so connected to another person, and yet, as he stroked the hair away from her face, they both could feel that nothing was different. Nothing had changed. They were always so connected. Always encased with in the fibers of each other's souls.

As cliche as it sounded, unreal or unrealistic as it seemed, straight out of a romance novel, it was the truth. For within the passion, and the affection, and the lust was a clear intelligence. The white elephant in the room. For there laying in bed together were two people who's love had been forged in their brains over eight years of courtship. Known within from the moment they laid eyes on each other, him maybe more than her, she unable to voice or admit it, because of duty, they had been connected in their minds for almost a decade. For the first time in a long time, C.J. had done what she wanted. Her own agenda, her own message, her own will.

The present was at hand, Santos was the President elect and Danny never thought he'd have her in his bed so soon, but there she was. The rain came down onto the window causing the shadows to hit them.

Danny had been her shoulder, and her confidante, her co-worker and her rival, her friend, her therapist, and now he was her lover.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**


	2. Chapter 2: First

**On The Road With Danny Concannon: 'O5-'06: The Final Year**

_"First"_

**Episode: The Mommy Problem**

* * *

"You know you got to go through hell  
Before you get to heaven."

_-Steve Miller Band_

* * *

**ABOUT NINE YEARS AGO**

* * *

The editor at the national desk of the Washington Post was a very interesting guy. He hated his job and wasn't afraid to say so. He also wasn't afraid to sleep, sleep all the time, sleep in the office, and sleep when it wasn't convenient. These times usually happened when the lure of alcohol was involved. This included bars, social events and unsocial events, and of course the office. This was one of those office times. Therefore he wasn't very happy to be awakened from his semi-drunken, half-asleep stupor, by the yelling of two reporters in his hallway.

First it was one eye, and then the other as he heard the faint sounds of an argument. He stood up, and found himself walking out of his office toward the sound. He walked through a doorway, and down a hall, as the sound grew louder and louder, and finally the voices had a face. He found two of his reporters at each other in the middle of the bullpen. One of them was Danny Concannon. He was younger, thinner, and minus his Pulitzer.

"What the hell is going on here?" he yelled at the men. "Joanie, get me an aspirin!" he yelled to a blonde near him.

"I'm Jeannie."

"I don't care." He waved her off. "What the hell?" he said to the two.

They both talked at once.

"One at a time ladies, one at a time." The editor took the aspirin and water from the blonde who had returned. "Go, now." He said to the blonde and downed the drink and aspirin. "Marcus, you first." He pointed to the man who was not Danny.

"Danny here…" Marcus whined on.

"He's interfering with my assign-" Danny defended himself.

"I said Marcus, Danny." The editor was not happy.

Marcus spoke, "Danny here thinks he can just take the Bartlet assignment just 'cause he's buddy, buddy with Josh Lyman."

Danny didn't like the sound of that, "Hey, that's not…"

"Danny!" His editor silenced him. Danny didn't like the sound of that either.

"He's got the last ten plum assignments—" Marcus continued.

"Bartlet isn't even the front-runner—" Danny was agog.

"He's the Democrat!" Marcus yelled as if Danny should know why.

"We're not supposed to have party affiliations here." Danny had his bag and he was ready to go.

"Just go back to the White House, okay—" Marcus got into Danny's face.

"Hey, hey, I always go out on the road during an election season—" Danny got in Marcus's face.

The editor had had enough, "Can someone actually make sense here or at least make a full sentence with…. _I don't know, _a structure to it! You know, one that is used_ here _in America and not in, I don't know-_Brazil_. Or needs to be translated from the _Sandscript _it so _obviously _originated from!"

"I want the assignment." Marcus whined.

"Ahhh." Danny dropped his overnight bag. "It's _my _assignment! I'm gonna miss the plane."

"You can't just take it." Marcus demanded.

"I asked for it. I got it. " Danny said with all confidence.

"So, did I." Marcus gave it right back.

"This is ridiculous." Danny had it up to his neck. "A story's a story. You got the other guy. Someone has to go with the other guy-" Danny was the only sane one in the entire conversation.

"I want Bartlet." Marcus was firm.

"For crying out loud!" Danny winced.

"Okay." The editor looked at the two. "We need to do this like real men." He took a coin from his pocket.

"Oh, come on." Danny bobbed his head to the side.

"Use it or lose it Marcus de Sade here." The editor pointed to Marcus.

"Hey!" Marcus defended himself.

"It's a joke," the editor said flippantly. He looked at Marcus for an answer.

"Fine." Marcus grumbled. The editor looked at Danny who gave a reluctant yes without words.

"Okay, gentlemen." He flipped the coin up. "Pick your fate."

* * *

**January 21st 2006 – Nine years Later**

**LAX**

* * *

The sound of an airplane was heard overhead cutting the air in half.

Danny shut the door of C.J.'s blue mustang, just as the terminal doors opened, and out walked C.J. Entering the open air, she put her hand up to stop the glare. Danny's face was the first thing she saw.

Danny opened his arms for her, a huge smile on his face.

"Hey." Danny said with his huge grin.

C.J. grinned from ear to ear, glad to be on solid ground, to see his face. It was officially all over.

Danny took off his sunglasses to get a better look.

C.J. kissed him and took a look at his face.

"You're all red," she commented. Danny shook his head in little bit of embarrassment.

"Apparently, I'm a white boy, what can ya do."

C.J. laughed.

"Come on." Danny took her bag and wrapped his arm around her, ushering her toward the car. He asked about her flight and she joked about the Merlot and Ambien.

C.J. stopped at the curb while Danny put her bag in the back of her baby blue mustang. She only had one bag, all the rest of her things were on a U-Haul that would arrive Monday.

"Ohhh." C.J. paused. She ran her hand lovingly along the door panels.

"I'm gonna pretend you're not happier to see the car than you are me." He joked getting in on the driver's side of the car. "I had someone drive it in - it got here early."

She got in the car and ran her fingers over the dashboard. She hadn't really seen the car for four years, never having the time to drive it as her life got more and more busy, and time ran together like a blurry freight train.

C.J. leaned over and kissed Danny, this time for a long passionate stay. "Thank you."

Danny raised his eyebrow and started the car. The bright sunshine hit their faces and the wind blew C.J.'s hair. Everything was bright.

* * *

**PRESENT: 100 days to election (Late July)**

* * *

It was dark, the end of the day for some and the beginning of the day for others. Danny's office door was open, but he was half asleep, just about waking up. Last thing he remembered it was light. Now the only light in his office was coming from his open office door. Danny lifted his head, feeling disoriented, drunk with sleep. He took a breath and dropped his legs onto the floor. He took another breath and ran his hands over his face.

"Did I wake you?" Maisy asked with a rasp to her voice. She was leaning against the arch of the office doorframe. She looked just about as tired as Danny did.

"No… no… I was just . . ." Danny took a breath in an attempt to try and wake himself into some kind of lucidity.

"Greg Brock went to jail to today." She played with her fingernails.

"Yeah."

"You saw?"

"No, I just…"

"Figured?"

"Yeah." Danny still wasn't awake.

"18 months." She paused and nothing was said for a moment. "I don't understand, Danny?" she said like a little girl.

"I can explain it in the morning if you—"

"What happened to the first amendment in this country?" It wasn't the answer one would have thought from Maisy. She was growing up.

"That one I can't answer," he said softly. Danny ran his hand through the back of his hair.

"I mean I thought this was a White House that glorified the first amendment, the one among all others-"

"The White House didn't send-"

"I mean it's the first one. The first amendment. It's the one that started the rest."

Danny laughed.

"That wasn't meant to be funny," Maisy said pointedly.

"I'm sorry." There was a long pause. "Some call it a statement."

"Premeditated or accidental?"

"Good point." Danny yawned.

"I just can't get it out of my mind."

"I know what you mean."

"What can't you get out of your mind?" she said listlessly. Maisy folded her arms.

"Fate." He paused and looked at her for the first time. "I can't stop thinking about fate." He paused and looked out. "It's stupid." He laughed it off.

"It isn't," She said, walking toward him.

"It's funny." He took a breath and semi laughed. "You look back on your life and at the time you had the best intentions and you never thought it was part of something bigger. I guess it all looks _premeditated_ in retrospect." He laughed. "But at the time I was just a guy doin… doin'"

"What comes naturally?"

"It seemed a simpler time."

"I guess our past always comes back to haunt us, no matter what. Good or bad. Like a bad order of take out."

"I should have known better." Danny was feeling guilty about C.J. He felt perhaps his actions would come back to haunt her. It had been weighting on his mind.

"How are you supposed to know, Danny?"

"It's just not fair."

"The fickle finger of fate?"

"I'm sorry? " Danny looked at Maisy.

"The three f's. The Fickle. Finger. Of Fate."

"If she gets nailed to the wall, it's gonna be my fault."

"It's all rumor, Danny." Maisy paused. "Nothing official has come out yet."

"I know." He stood up and took another breath. "They've subpoenaed every scrap of paper from her office – she's the focus. I've been around here long enough to know that."

"She hasn't even been subpoenaed yet."

"Last one subpoenaed is the focus of the investigation." He said under his breath.

"What?"

Danny walked toward the window and looked out. "But, it could all come out. Her and me."

"You didn't do anything. And it's not even relevant."

"It's not what it is, it's what it looks like." He paused. "They'd bring it out to embarrass her. That's what they do at those things. They make it seem like it's relevant, they'll make it look like it is, but it's not. That's what they do in this town. It's all about agendas. Everyone's got one."

There was a pause. Maisy looked for the words, "I don't know what to say, Danny."

"You don't have to."

"I want to know what to say."

Danny turned and looked at Maisy. He smiled. "Thanks."

She walked toward the door, but stopped.

"Maybe fate just brought you to this moment. Who's to say this isn't the first moment. The one that leads to all the rest."

"How is it you can go from utter hopelessness to complete belief in ten seconds flat?"

"Doin' what comes naturally." She half smiled. She looked down at her shoes.

"You look beat, go home."

"So, do you." Maisy looked up at him.

"I'll go home soon," he said to comfort her. Danny lowered his head.

"Okay." She turned to the door, but stopped again in the doorway. "Danny?"

"Yeah?" Danny looked up at her.

"If you were called would you reveal your source?"

"No."

"Could they call me?"

"Sure." He paused. "If I come into it, yeah—they could call you."

"What would I-"

"You'd tell the truth, Maisy." Danny could be so sincere it rocked you to your core.

"Okay," she said from the base of her throat. She was feeling scared and she didn't know why. "Fate is a final result, Danny. This can't be the final moment, there are too many questions."

"Good night, Maisy."

"Good night." Maisy turned around and started to walk away.

"It's also inevitable." Danny called after her.

"I'm sorry?" She turned around.

"The definition of fate. It's a series of inevitable events you can't do anything about."

"Yeah…well..." She paused. "She didn't do it, Danny. We know that, right? I mean I don't know her, but I know you and…she couldn't have done it."

"At this point it doesn't matter what it is, it matters what it looks like." He repeated.

"Yeah." She said, not knowing what to say. She opened her mouth again, but Danny stopped her.

"Night, Maisy."

Maisy walked out of Danny's office and down the long hallway, her shoes echoing through the almost empty bullpen.

"Go home, Danny!" Was the last thing she yelled.

"I don't have a home." Danny muttered to himself. "I don't have one."

* * *

**Six Months Later: Jan 21st**

**Santa Monica, California.**

* * *

Danny drove C.J. to the front of a beautiful house, on a suburban Santa Monica street. Danny opened his car door and walked around the other side.

"No, wait." Danny yelled as he saw C.J. try to open her car door.

She half rolled her eyes and looked out at the ranch style house reflected in her car window.

Danny smiled as he reached her side of the car.

C.J. smiled back and Danny opened the car door for her.

C.J. walked out in awe of the house. It wasn't an apartment, or a big lonely house she would occupy alone, it was a sunny, shining, home. It had more meaning.

Danny put his arm around C.J.'s waist and smiled.

C.J. smiled back into Danny's eyes, in her sweet awkward way - something only Danny seemed to elicit. This was really it. Their house. It was exciting and strange at the same time. C.J. took deep breaths and checked her mood. She wasn't freaking out.

Danny took C.J. up the walkway, past the green grass; he fumbled with the keys while C.J. looked around.

C.J. was somehow back where she had started, but still nowhere near it.

"I saw a couple of places–-" He fumbled with the keys. "If you don't like this one we can-"

"No." She took his free hand. "This is fine."

Danny opened the door, his keys clanging in his hand as the door swung open. The emptiness of the space engulfed her. "Danny," she said with amazement.

"I done good, right?" He smiled

C.J. nodded.

They entered the foyer with its large wood floor. There was a sunken living room, a fireplace and large glass windows on the other side. From the doorway she could see a large porch, and a patio, and a pool in the back yard.

C.J. walked around with her mouth open.

Danny followed her as she walked through the living room and into the open kitchen area.

"Danny." C.J. stood in front of the state-of-the-art kitchen, one in which she would not be spending too much time. "This is too much." She ran her fingers over the counter tops and peered into the dining room. "This is too much."

It really wasn't, but it was a nice house.

"It just seems big 'cause it's ranch style," he said with his hands in his pockets. "Hey, you should have seen some of the places the Hollis people showed me –it was..." He saw how off somewhere C.J. was. "Come here?" He put out his hand out for her. She looked spectacular. "Come on."

She took his hand and he took her through the living room, the foyer, past the basement stairs to the other side of the house, "Guest room, "He opened a door and went onto another, "A study," he opened another door, "An extra bedroom," he opened another door, "An office for you."

"Dann-" C.J. was stopped by his taking her hand, again.

Danny opened another door at the back.

C.J. walked in.

"And our bedroom."

"Danny," she said in awe. C.J. turned to see Danny with his back to a closed door.

It wasn't the size of the room, but its large view of the backyard.

"I know, you're starting to freak out. Just breathe."

"No, no." She put her hand on his chest. She looked out the window. "But, the house."

"We don't have to sign the papers, if you don't want. We won't close for another—"

"No..." She seemed conflicted.

"This is a very small house for California standards."

"I told you to get us a house not the plaza."

"It's not the plaza, if you wanted the plaza – I can get the plaza."

"Eventually we can afford this – when the money starts coming in – but right now-"

"Right now it's handled." She opened her mouth and he silenced her.

"Right now?"

"You should have seen the places they showed me. You said you didn't want Frank Hollis to buy us a house. I found a place I like. A place we both would want. Three bedrooms, four if you count the study, that's not a lot. If you don't like it-I'll deal with it, but if it's the money issue - Okay, I never had my own house before, maybe I went a little over board"

"I don't want you to think—"

"I have to keep up with you?

She paused and hesitated. "Yes."

"I'm not. I told you weeks ago, I know you're gonna be the top banana in every place we go. That's never gonna be a problem with me. Never. Sure, I wanted to get this for you – I wanted to provide, and fifteen years living in a tiny studio apartment I wanted a real house, a home I can share with you. I want this to be our home...which is why in this instance, I think you're gonna have to say yes." She didn't say anything. Danny backed away, "It's a real nice house…?"

"It's beautiful."

"See, there ya go."

"But, how?"

"I got it covered, I knew a guy he did a thing." Danny made C.J smiled. "Let's just say I always get what I want." Danny made C.J. smile again. "I know you wanted to spend our first night here, but we don't have to."

"No, I want to." She took a piece of lint off his shirt. "I don't want to stay in a hotel right now. Not now." She took a breath. "I want us to spend our first night here. It's just something I want to do," she said as if she was asking him to trust her.

"Okay," Danny said softly. He walked toward her and put his hands around her waist. "I had a mattress delivered yesterday, I can move it into the bedroom, take a few odds and ends maybe a little makeshift room." C.J. nodded her head. "The movers come on Monday." He took his hands from her waist. "You relax." He kissed her and she kissed him back hard. "I'll be right with you." Danny disappeared and C.J. watched him walk away. A smile crept to her face.

* * *

**Later That Night**

* * *

Danny walked into the bedroom to find C.J. tucking in the last edge of the bed sheet into the corners of the mattress.

They had worked to make it a pretty nice makeshift room. One mattress on top of a box spring, no headboard, a box next to the bed, with an alarm clock next to which was C.J.'s cell phone, and a small lamp on the floor. It looked very much like a room the two might have occupied in their early 20's.

"What are you doing?" Danny said with a sly grin.

"I'm making the bed," she said with a question mark laugh.

Danny took his cell phone out of his pocket and threw it on the box next to C.J. He then put his arms around her waist. She giggled and Danny laughed without even saying a word.

Danny kissed her and she sighed.

"You know what I'm thinking?" he said slyly

"I have a good idea." She smirked.

"This is our first night together without the secret service five feet away."

C.J. smiled and gave a nonverbal, "Ahh."

"Not what you thought, huh?" He laughed. "I'm tricky that way." He chuckled and bobbed his head, as he did when he found himself funny. "We made it." Danny spoke with sweetness.

"Yeah," she smiled. "We did."

He kissed her and she kissed him back. It soon became a string of passionate kisses, as their hands explored other areas.

"Ohh…I missed you," he said, slowly pushing her onto the bed.

"Me too," she said as he kissed her neck. C.J. started to unbutton her shirt, as they inched closer to the center of the bed. She opened her shirt, after the last button, and Danny helped her take it off; it got caught on her watch and they both laughed.

Finally, her shirt was off, to reveal a small camisole underneath. C.J. reached her now free hand toward Danny's face as they kissed. Her hand inched closer down his neck and ran through his hair. They felt freer and more alone together than they had ever been.

Suddenly a cell phone was heard.

The both grunted a nonhappy sigh.

Danny buried his head in her stomach.

C.J. hit her head on the bed.

"Is that you or me?" C.J. said with a lazy disgust.

Danny lifted his head, "I think you."

They both looked at the box, which housed their phones. They both could see the display from the bed. But really C.J. knew that ring tone anywhere.

C.J. made a noise and sighed. Danny rolled off C.J. and onto the other side of the bed.

C.J. leaned forward and opened the phone. She pushed the speaker button. "Hello, Josh." She groaned.

"Am I on speaker phone?" Josh asked.

Danny leaned over toward C.J. and ran his hand over her thigh.

C.J. smiled and stepped off the bed.

"How's sunny California?" Josh asked.

"Sunny." Danny groaned leaning up against the wall, since there was no headboard, and only a pillow.

"Danny, is that you?"

"Hey Josh," he said, not too happy. Danny fixed the pillow behind him.

"What you doin' out there with yourself?'

"Oh, you know, following C.J. around, holding her purse." He leaned back onto the bed and grinned at C.J.

C.J. was now at the foot of the bed, leaning against a far wall where the dresser would soon go.

She smiled back at Danny's grin. Their unspoken language.

"Ahhh, am I interrupting something?" Josh felt strange.

"Ohhh, nooooo, why would you think that?" Danny said sarcastically.

C.J. shot Danny a look and he shot C.J. a look back. He was going to have to wait.

There was an awkward pause.

"I interrupted somethin' didn't I?" Josh sounded very awkward. He was doing that thing when his voice goes into the back of his throat and his eyes widen. It could even be seen through fiberoptic and cell phone lines.

"I can fax you visual aids if you really want..." Danny joked.

C.J. threw a sock at Danny.

Danny caught it with a smile.

"Ahhh yeah... is C.J. still there?" Josh was never good at not showing how awkward he was. Danny knew that from his stint in the press room.

"Josh, what do you want?" C.J. finally came into it the conversation. She was standing at the foot of the bed now with her arms folded. She looked down.

"Is there a way I can get off speaker phone?" Josh asked.

"I'm done, Josh. I handed in my credentials. I moved my car. I'm done." C.J. motioned with her hands.

"Okay… I don't see how your _car_ has anything to do with this…. hey, come on you told us you'd be available by phone. Come on. Take me off speaker."

"NO." Danny and C.J. said at the same time. They were both surprised at how simultaneously they got that out. They both smiled, pretty satisfied with the moment.

"What?" Josh was confused.

"She doesn't want to talk to you about affairs of state, Josh!" Danny yelled to clarify C.J.s point. And to be heard through the speaker. He smiled.

"Oh come on, sure she does," Josh said with his cocky attitude.

"Josh, I don't want to talk to you about affairs of state," C.J. said dryly.

Danny chuckled.

"Come on, take me off speaker phone," Josh still pleaded. "I can't talk to you about what I need to talk to you about if I'm on speaker phone...come on!"

"Josh. Do you know how long you've been in office?" C.J. asked a question she knew the answer to. She waited for Josh to answer.

"A day?"

"Not even, and that makes me out of office for about the same time. I'm off. I'm done. I don't wanna talk about Kazakhstan, or Issatov, or oil, or poll numbers, or even what china pattern the Santos's have picked out. I need some time to _breathe,_ Joshua."

"Okay, I guess you should have been a little more . . . specific… on that with me."

"I didn't think you'd call me after less than twenty-four hours, Josh!"

Danny laughed.

"So, how long are we sayin? A week, two weeks?"

C.J. took a breath and lifted herself even higher off the ground. "Four months."

"Ahhh." Danny smiled. He was very proud. And touched, in a way.

C.J. smiled back with her huge confident smile.

"Four months? Come on, C.J.?" Josh yelled.

C.J. crawled onto the bed toward Danny.

"I need some alone time," she said.

Danny grinned from ear to ear and ran her his hands over her shoulders.

"Alone time?" Josh asked - never such a thing.

"And then, _and then.._. when _and if _you want to call me with any little piece of something, question or query, _hell_ to ask me what the weather's like in Santa Monica…. **go** ahead." She danced her lips in front of Danny, but never let them touch his.

"It's 65." Danny chimed in.

C.J. smiled at him.

"I'm gonna learn to ski," she said softly inching her way to Danny's lips.

Suddenly there was a large sound and silence.

C.J. and Danny both looked at the phone.

"Josh?" C.J. asked. There wasn't an answer.

"Did you glue my drawer shut?" Josh came over the airwaves. "You glued my drawer shut!"

Danny burst into giggling laugher. He tried to hold it in and it just made it worse.

C.J. just grinned her confident grin.

"Oh, yeah, Danny, laugh it up." Josh was not amused. "C.J., your boyfriend's got a terrible sense of humor, there."

C.J. stopped for a moment in the silence, stopping on the word "boyfriend." It sounded strange. It was the first time she had heard Danny referred to as such, in her presence at least.

"Good-bye, Josh." Danny reached his hand and turned off C.J.'s phone. He then gently guided C.J. down onto the bed.

C.J. smiled, "I have a bottle of Merlot in my purse. Why don't you go find us some glasses."

"Okay." Danny leaned in and kissed her lightly and did as she commanded.

C.J laid on the bed feeling more relaxed than she had a in a long time. She smiled and bit her lower lip.

Leo had once told her that nothing was perfect, there was no such thing as perfect, so being imperfect was pretty grand. She felt very imperfect at that moment.

Her direct, if not circuitous, route to this moment ran in her head. Words like fate came up and she tried to laugh it off, but somehow she couldn't.

It would be here, in this house, where Danny and she would share many first days, first days of new things. It was a place without ghosts. It was a new start. And she knew she had to trust Danny when he said. "All would be well."

She had once remarked to Leo that she just wanted someone to share it all with. C.J. finally had her wish. She seemed to have it all, imperfectly: power, respect, prestige, and now love. She was off to do what she wanted, on her own terms.

She was a woman of many layers. She could be vulnerable yet she was not a vulnerable woman. And although she at times felt weak and powerless, she was not a weak or powerless woman. Still all the men in her life, Danny included, had a huge urge to take care of her, protect her. If only C.J. knew just how much Danny wanted that and how far he had gone to do so.

* * *

**The Present: 101 Days To Election: July 31st**

* * *

"Danny?" Maisy peeked into the Danny's office. "Danny?" she asked. He didn't look up from his pages. "Yo, Danny!" she yelled.

"Yeah… what?" He looked up as if she had awoken him from a sleep, but this time he wasn't sleeping. Danny was fully awake.

"That thing must be pretty riveting – you've been reading it since it was delivered, that was like three hours ago."

"White House phone logs," he muttered.

Maisy looked around and closed the door behind her, "What are you doing with White House phone logs?"

"What?" He looked up. "Nothing -I got a friend." Danny stood up. "I gotta go for a walk." He took his jacket from the coat stand.

"Danny?" She didn't even know what question to ask she was just bumfuzzeled by his actions.

Danny took his Notre Dame windbreaker off the coat stand, he put it on without saying a word. He turned to Maisy.

"I'm gonna need to see Greg Brock."

"Greg Brock is in jail, Danny." She was getting a little upset, since she and Danny had just had that discussion the other day.

"I need to see Greg Brock" Danny adjusted the collar on his jacket. He turned to Maisy. "You call his lawyer and you have him tell Brock that Danny Concannon wants to see him. On the record, off the record, I don't care – professional courtesy, we've both been in this industry together for too long a time. He has to say yes." He paused and looked at Maisy. "Just get me in a room with Greg Brock, that's all I need." Danny opened his office door and he was gone.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER TWO**


	3. Chapter 3: Staying On Message

**On The Road With Danny Concannon: 'O5-'06: The Final Year**

"_Staying On Message" _

**Companion Episode**_: Message Of The Week_ (_Early August)_

**Spoilers**: The Entire Series

_**Notes:** Many, but not all of the dates and time periods mentioned are taken directly from Margaret's testimony in **Mr. Frost.**_

**_Other Characters_**: Greg Brock

* * *

"6 reporters in the White House press

Corp _say_ you play favorites

It used to be Danny Concannon -

now it's Greg Brock"

—**Babish, The Ticket**

* * *

"We're both professionals, we're both being investigated by professionals. It's bad enough your plastered all over my call sheet and Congress has every scrap of paper aside from my half finished cross word puzzles so will you please leave my office before I call in an armored division."

**C.J. Cregg – The Mommy Problem**

* * *

"I always liked you in that suit."

—**Greg Brock - The Mommy Problem**

* * *

**March 2007**

* * *

Danny walked off the elevator dressed in a perfectly nice suit C.J. had helped him pick out.

"Hi," he said to the receptionist. "I'm here to see.."

"Danny!" came a voice.

"Stan." Danny walked toward the man.

"Thank you for coming in. Come, come. My office is this way."

"So, I heard you got married," Stan said, ushering Danny into his office.

"Yeah, last month."

"Congrats."

"Thanks." He laughed it off. Danny played with his wedding ring for a moment. Stan leaned against the front of his desk.

I'm glad we could do this in person." Stan offered up a seat to Danny. "We're really jazzed about your book and I wanna get it on the streets as soon as possible."

"That's great." Danny felt very wooed. It was nice.

"I thought you said you were done with writing... books."

"I had a change of heart."

"Great, great. We really have some great things down the pipe. Just got a deal from another reporter, nothing like your book, still got all that political intrigue... hey, I think he worked in the White House for a few years- Greg Brock – you two ever cross paths?"

Danny stiffened in his chair, "Yeah." He paused. "We crossed path's a few times."

* * *

"You talk to him everyday.

He drops by more than a guy with a phone

in his pocket needs to drop by…..

What is the nature of your relationship

with Greg Brock?"

**-Babish "The Ticket"**

* * *

**A LITTLE OVER TWO YEARS BEFORE: **

**Early August**

**(The Present 2****005)**

**Cumberland Minimum Security Prison, MD**

* * *

Danny was taken down a hallway and into a small room with brick walls and a small high window. The door was closed and he was left alone in the room. Left alone with Greg Brock.

Greg Brock lifted his head. He wore jeans with a blue shirt and didn't look at all in bad shape, he looked his usual self. Greg smiled, in a sly way, and leaned his right arm over the back of his chair.

"Somehow I wasn't surprised when they said you'd called," he said matter-of-factly. There was a small silence.

"Really?" Danny asked with less of a question than one might have thought.

"So, it's true, then?" he asked. Danny didn't answer. "Don't' know what I mean?"

"No." He said. "I don't."

Greg waited a moment, waiting for some response from Danny, "You're here because of her." Still nothing was said. "You're here because of C.J. Cregg."

* * *

**Flashback: June 27th (of the present year) 12:10 pm**

The Office of C.J. Cregg - Chief of Staff

* * *

Greg leaned in and kissed C.J. causing her to repel in shock.

"What was that?" She stood up from the couch, in her office as chief of staff.

"I just thought…" Brock stood with his hands out to explain himself.

"Well you thought wrong," she demanded. C.J. walked toward her desk. She looked flustered and awkward, nervous almost.

* * *

**PRESENT **

Brock & Danny

* * *

"Why are you here then?" Brock paused. "The Post doing a special section on me? My paper won't be too happy about that." He took a cigarette pack from his pocket. He offered one up to Danny who turned it down. Brock nodded his head and put a cigarette in his mouth. From his right side pocket Brock took a lighter and lit the cigarette.

"No special section." Danny said softly. "I'm here to talk."

"Talk." He gestured with the lit cigarette. "Just talk?"

"Off the record."

"That's what my lawyer said." Brock leaned forward. "You don't want to try and get an exclusive on me? Ask me all the questions - get another Pulitzer? Reporter stands up for the first amendment." He used his hand to show a fake headline.

"Would you answer my questions on the record?"

"No." Brock laughed.

"Then, there you go."

"Sit down." He motioned toward the seat in front of him.

"I'm good."

"Suit yourself." He leaned back and took another drag off his cigarette. "So, professional curiosity, huh?"

"I'm behind what you're doing, Brock."

"If you think I'm here as some kind of statement, I'm not." There was a pause. "I have a kid, a young kid, with divorced parents, and I'd rather be out there with my kid than in here for 18 months." He paused. "But you're right, a source is a source, it has to be protected and if it means being here says something- then so be it." There was a pause. "You think you could get a message to my kid?" He paused. He took a drag. "I get to see her once a week, but you know it's not enough. It's just not enough. Just a message, makes her feel better."

"I can."

"Okay, when we're done. I'll write a note. You'll have it delivered?" Danny nodded his head. "Okay, what do you wanna know?"

Danny looked for the words he didn't want to ask.

"Why am I asking?" Brock said. "I think you just don't really wanna know. You wanna know the truth, Danny? Do you really?" There was nothing said.

"I do."

"Okay. Ask away."

It took him a moment, but just like Babish, Danny asked his question. The question of the week. "What was between you and C.J. Cregg?"

"Let's answer this question first?" Brock said. "What was between _you_ and C.J. Cregg?" Danny said nothing. "Just like her. She said nothing, too."

* * *

**Almost two years before...**

The Office OF C.J. Cregg– Press Secretary

The White House

* * *

"So, what's with the fish?" Greg asked C.J. in her office as Press Secretary.

"It's a fish. Nothing's with it. It's a fish." She didn't look at him or Gail.

"You don't seem like the fish type."

"I'm not," she said flatly.

"Not the fish type. Yet you have a fish on your desk." His eyes popped up for fun. "Peculiar?"

C.J. smirked. "It was a gift. Do you have anymore questions, or are we done here? I think we're done."

"I hear things," he said as he got up from the chair.

"Really, you know there's medication for that."

"Does someone have a little bit of a past?" he said in a flirty way.

"I'm sorry?" C.J. was all business.

"Nothing." Brock walked toward the door and stopped. He put his hand on the door, he turned around and closed the door. "I think you should know - just in case it's untrue. I hear things." He paused and C.J. looked scared for a moment. "People say you had a favorite before me."

"You're not my favorite. I give all the major papers more access." She looked at him. "Is this for a story—am I the basis of one of your stories again?"

"No. This isn't for a story." He paused.

"What then?"

"Off the record," he said with a gossipy tone. "You have an affair with Danny Concannon?"

"What? No."

"'Cause I hear things."

"Open the door."

"What?"

"Open the door," she demanded. C.J. walked toward her own door and opened it ."This conversation is over."

"Okay…." He looked at her in the eyes and paused. "Yeah..." He turned his head away like he was going to leave, but looked back at her one last time. "I just wanted you to know—I hear things," he said softly. "You really do look good in a suit," he said and walked away. C.J. was left confused.

* * *

**PRESENT**

* * *

Brock waited a moment before speaking. "So I know, and you know, and none of us are gonna say anything, are we, Concannon?" Brock said with a directness.

"You're on her call sheet." Danny didn't look so good.

"There it is. It's always about her, isn't it?" he teased. He was having too much fun with his professional rival.

Danny took a breath. "She's my friend. I just wanna know the truth."

"So do I." Greg said. "Isn't that why we got into this business in the first place?"

"Yeah…"

"It's always about the truth." He paused. "You answer my question and I'll answer yours…..off the record." He paused. "Lets get it all on the table, for we got something in common, here. I think?"

"Okay." He said softly. Danny looked weak for some reason. He knew he would have to go wherever Greg led, to get the answer to the question he desired.

"You have an affair with C.J. Cregg?"

"No," he said softly.

"Did you want to?" he asked. "The truth Danny. I'll know if you're lying. All of Washington will know if you're lying - well maybe only the White House press room."

Danny took a beat, and softly and surely as if it killed him to have to say it out loud, he said, "Yes."

"Now, we're playing hard ball," he said. "You wanna know what I was doing all over her call sheet?"

"Yes."

"Knowing you- this isn't based on the rumor and the innuendoes. Congressional hearings aren't open to the public. You have the sheet, don't you? Of course you do." There was a long pause and they looked each other down. Brock leaned back, "Here's your answer." He paused, "You'll want to sit for this."

Danny didn't sit.

Brock nodded his head and continued. "It started about a year ago, or so. She had just become Chief of Staff. I'd get called into the principal's office and get called out, more times than I'm sure you did when Leo was around, but she wasn't very good at letting go of her old turf, and I was okay with that. I got a sitdown with the new Chief of Staff -to silence a piece I was doing –in exchange I got an exclusive with the first female Chief of Staff. Plus, I got to spend time with her."

* * *

**Winter of The PresentYear**

The Office of C.J. Cregg – Chief of Staff

* * *

"Okay." Greg stood up from the chair next to the couch, in C.J.'s office "I think that's all I need."

"Great." C.J. smiled. She stood up and walked back toward Leo's desk, well, her desk now.

"So, off the record, how ya doin'?" He closed his notebook.

"I'm fine." She smiled trying not to let on to her true feelings. "It's a lot of reading, but hell I didn't like having a weekend anyway."

"Ruins the work week." He joked back.

"You said it." She smiled.

"Okay, great." Brock went for the door. "Thanks a lot. It's gonna be a good piece."

"Great." She sat back down. "Just spell my name right," she joked.

"Ahh…yeah.." Brock rolled through his notes and stopped for a moment, he turned to her. "A few clarifying questions, unsure of my handwriting here—"

"Shoot."

"When you joined the Bartlet campaign—you didn't know anyone involved, right?"

"Just Toby Ziegler. He brought me on."

"That's right you worked together—"

"In New York." She smiled.

"And how early would you say you started weighing in on key decisions?"

"Pretty much right away—well, it took The President a while to get used to us- but we mostly just weighed in with Leo and Leo would talk it over with the President… pretty straight forward. We were all so low key and small back then it didn't matter what our specific expertises were, we were all pretty much advisors and it just carried over into the White House, but by the time we got to the convention he'd gotten to know the four of us so well…"

"Four of you?"

"Sam, Toby, Josh - me."

"And Josh brought on Hoynes?"

"He was the front runner for so long. It made sense. Second always gets asked."

"You helped, weighing in on the subject?"

"Of course we all had our opinions. We felt it was the right choice, some weighed in more than others—"

"You and Josh?"

"But we all pretty much knew—I'm sorry?."

"I figured you and Josh were the most vocal."

"No, not really."

"Past experience and all, I mean I know Josh knew him longer and better, but-?"

"Hoynes? No, that was all Josh. I didn't know the Vice President."

"You'd never met him before?"

"Not before the convention, no." She started to set some papers. "That was all Josh."

Greg didn't say anything for a moment.

"I thought—sorry, sorry. My mistake." He paused and put out his hand holding his pencil. "Thank you." And he left.

* * *

**LATER THAT NIGHT:**

* * *

Brock sat in his apartment looking over his notes, he checked and checked them twice. He opened a file cabinet and took out a small tape player along side a small tape marked :" Hoynes Interview". He placed it in the player. Brock ran through a few parts until he hit the moment he wanted.

"Oh yeah. C.J. Cregg, we go way back—" Hoynes was heard saying. "She used to work outta California I believe with Emilys list—we crossed paths-once- maybe twice." He rewound it and listened again.

* * *

**A WEEK LATER **:

The Office Of C.J. Cregg – Chief of Staff.

* * *

C.J. picked up her phone, it was late.

"I know you'd met Hoynes before the convention," he said softly.

She took a breath and put her hand on her head. She held in her emotion.

"I misspoke."

"We need to talk. Can I see you?"

"Tomorrow, I have-"

"I think tonight," he said sternly.

"Okay, be here in an hour."

* * *

**_LATER THAT NIGHT_ **

C.J.'s office

* * *

"Come in." C.J. opened the door to her office and let him in. She closed the door.

"I forgot about the fundraiser, you're right?" She said. "I misspoke, I'd met him before. You're right." Nothing was said. "End of story." She opened the door.

Brock walked over and closed the door.

"Excuse me, we're done here," she said.

"I didn't mean to find this…" He looked her in the eye. "But I was looking back at my interview with John Hoynes. He said he'd met you before."

"I worked for Emily's List and he was at a fundraisier. I said that. " She walked back toward her desk.

"I know, C.J."

She didn't say anything. Brock kept on talking.

"I looked into some things—I didn't mean to find it." She gave him a look and stood next to the window. "I don't wanna publish it. I just thought you'd like to know- I know."

C.J. took a deep breath and walked around to her desk. She knew this moment would come.

* * *

**_PRESENT_**

* * *

"You were blackmailing her?" Danny yelled to Brock.

"I wasn't blackmailing her. Let me finish. I told her I didn't think it was news, it wasn't news. I wanted to help her put it to rest. I told her I'd keep her up to date on my investigation."

"For exclusive interviews and connections-"

"No," he insisted. "You don't think very well of me, do you?"

"No, I don't Brock. Not now, I don't."

"I wasn't blackmailing her!" There was a long pause.

"You've always been too cocky for my taste."

"That makes two of us." There was a pause. "I say we both calm down if you want an answer to your question. Let's stay on message, here."

Danny took a breath and they didn't speak for a moment. Finally Danny spoke up, "You didn't say what you had on her?"

"No." He paused and leaned back. "I didn't."

Danny wasn't the only person protecting C.J. Brock continued the rest of his story.

* * *

**Back to C.J.'s Office: **

**Winter of The Present Year**

* * *

"I know C.J."

She didn't say anything. Brock kept on talking.

"I looked into some things—I didn't mean to find it." She gave him a look and stood next to the window. "I don't wanna publish it. I just thought you'd like to know- I know."

C.J. took a deep breath and walked around to her desk.

Brock walked toward her. "I wanna help. This isn't news. It shouldn't be. If I could find it. So could anyone."

"Anyone?" she said. It was the first time she took note of what they were talking about. It piqued her interest.

"Sure, any reporter with some smarts would find it somehow. Your slip of the tongue led me to it. "

"You'd just be making sure no one else found out about it—"

"You already had a media frenzy on your personal life _just _last month–you don't think no one's lookin'. 'Cause they are – or they will be."

She took a moment before answering, her face gave away nothing. "No _other_ reporters."

"Yes."

"No _other _reporters."

* * *

**Present**

* * *

Brock spoke in what was now a smoke cloud around him. "I'd call her and tell her what was going on. I'd also get quotes for other stories. I was the senior White House reporter, I got the exclusives with the Chief of Staff, the President, the Press Secretary. That was my place there, a nice gaping hole left by you— Thank you very much." He paused. "Only….." He paused and lowered his head. "After about a month I couldn't find anything else…no new information- it was like someone else had been there before me, or there wasn't any information to find—I don't know. It wasn't there." He paused. "I didn't have any information, but I told her…" He didn't look very happy with himself. "I told her I did. I told her there was still a trail. I didn't blackmail her. I didn't say I _had_ information, I just….I made excuses to _talk _to her, I told her I still was looking. I told her I still had leads."

* * *

**June 20th** 7:22am

(From ARMS: White House Phone Logs:)

(C.J. Cregg patches through a call to Greg Brock on his cell phone. Margaret does not patch the call through.)

* * *

Greg Brock answered his cell phone to find C.J. Cregg on the other end.

"You know, I thought we were friends here, I really did?" she spoke with venom.

"We are."

"Your headline today doesn't seem so friendly."

"Hey, I'm just doin' my job here. You wouldn't want me to stop doing my job. I do you favors, that doesn't mean I don't do my job."

Margaret walked into the office. "You made a call with out me?" Margaret questioned. "You really shouldn't be making any calls without me–"

"Oh... it's just Greg Brock," she said with some disgust. She looked at Margaret, but was really talking to Brock. "Who's story today in the NY Times—" She went back to Brock with her best sarcastic tone. "And you won't mind here if I put my job over our friendship here — in this situation of course—and just, you know,_ do my own _job—but that article was totally outta left field and I'm not afraid to say so from me and the President...off the record of course." She took a breath.

Margaret walked out of the office and C.J. watched her walk out. The door was shut.

"How _are_ those favors we talked about going?" She took her finger and pushed her hair out of her face.

"Ahhh...still working on a few leads." He looked away from his phone. "I'll keep you posted." He sounded distracted.

* * *

**PRESENT**

* * *

"You called her three times – four days before you were leaked the information.? What happened?"

"June 27th?"

"Yeah."

"I went to tell her the truth."

* * *

**June 27th Of This year**

Office of C.J. Cregg -COS

_One call down, two to go._

* * *

Brock walked in to C.J.'s office to find C.J. talking to Margaret.

Margaret smiled, took a folder from C.J. and excited the office.

C.J. went right into talking, "I know you said on the phone you needed to talk to me about this today, so I can give you a few quotes for your article, but the President isn't talking directly on the subject." C.J. told him like it was old hat. "So, I guess you just get some more of me, then." C.J. smiled.. She sat down on the couch with a mound of paperwork in front of her on the coffee table.

"Just like before."

"Just like always," she joked. "I think I've seen your face more than I've actually seen my own apartment."

"Can I close the door?"

"Yeah?"

He closed the door.

"I wanted to tell you it was over."

"Over?"

"The path is dry. I don't think you'll be having anymore reporters knocking at your door," he laughed. He walked over and sat down next to her.

"No one else will find it?" she said calmly.

"No, I don't think." There was a pause.

"I appreciate what you've done."

"My pleasure." There was a pause. "So, lead deposits?" He took out his notebook.

"Yes." She moved her hair away from her face. "The President is working on it, we know it's-" she leaned toward the coffee table for a paper. "I have some statistics for you."

And Greg leaned in and kissed C.J.

She repelled back in shock.

"What was that?" She stood up from the couch.

"I just thought-"- He stood with his hands out to explain himself.

"Well….you thought wrong," she demanded and walked toward her desk. She looked flustered and awkward, nervous almost.

"We've been spending so much time together-" He seemed so sure.

"On a story- -this is work."

"I know you have a thing for reporters-I just figured."

"I don't." She was offended

"I know things got personal with Danny–" he said as if to tell her it was all right.

"There was nothing -"

"I just thought...we've been spending so much time together- we get along."

"I'm the Press Secretary!" she exclaimed.

"Not anymore, C.J.?" he said with a question. She looked very shocked either by what he'd said or what she'd said.

Margaret opened the door, "Is something wrong?"

"No." C.J. said matter-of-factly. "Greg was just leaving." She tried to busy herself at her desk.

"Yeah." Greg lowered his head and walked past the desk. I'm sorry." He lowered his head. "I…I thought—" He knew he couldn't say much. "I'm sorry," he said softly. He paused by the door and took in some confidence. "By the way," he paused and spoke in anger. "Nice Fish." And he left her office.

* * *

**PRESENT**

* * *

Brock wouldn't look at Danny, "Stupid, I know." He paused and put out the butt of his cigarette on the table. "I thought if she'd had a thing for you she could have a thing for me, why not? And she wasn't the Press Secretary anymore, who cared. But, I guess she'd rather banter with you than be alone with me, huh?" he took a pause. "So, I think that's the real answer to your question." He leaned back. "No…." He took his time. "She didn't sleep with me." He leaned back. "So, you can rest easy now, Concannon."

Danny took a small breath.

"No need to thank me," Brock said. He lowered his face and scratched the back of his head from behind.

Danny saw the pain he shared with Brock. He saw the other side of the mirror. Danny turned around to walk out.

"I called her to say I was sorry," Brock called out. "The two times that day. I called her to tell her I was sorry. It took two calls." Brock paused. "By the end of the second call I think she actually thanked me for my help. After all that, she still felt I did her some kind of favor." He laughed at himself. "When all I did was lie to her." Nothing was said for a moment. Brock looked almost hurt by his own actions. "I didn't know I'd get another call from the White House four days later. When I took the call, I thought it was her. But it wasn't."

Danny and Brock stared each other down. Neither knew what else to say.

The door to the room opened and an officer came in. It was time for Danny to go. Danny looked at Brock one last time and tipped his head. Brock was ushered toward him and Brock nodded, like two soldiers in the same war.

Brock passed Danny and a thought came to his head.

"The note?" Danny asked. "I said I'd take a note for your kid." He watched the guard lead Brock out.

"Time's up, Brock," the guard said.

"Next time, right?" Brock smiled cockily in the doorway "Gotta go back to the spa." Brock took out a cigarette and lit it. He started to hum. He paused. "So who ya think'll play me in the TV movie?" Brock joked before chuckling to himself. He took a few steps away from Danny and then turned to him."You know, you're a lucky man there, Concannon." Brock called after him. "We should all be so lucky," he said snidely. And they took him away.

* * *

**C.J**.

"Name your source."

**Brock.**

"I always liked you in that suit.

—_**The Mommy Problem**_

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER THREE**


	4. Chapter 4: The Conversation

_On The Road With Danny Concannon 05-06_

"_The Conversation" _

**Companion piece**: Mr. Frost

Spoilers: The Whole Series

* * *

**The PRESENT (2005)**

**August 19th**

**Washington, DC**

* * *

C.J. tried to keep her eyes open, too much coffee and not enough sleep were driving her crazy. She looked worn and tired and not at all her chipper self. No more coffee, she'd had enough. It was another almost all nighter. She wore the same outfit from the night before.

"Were you here all night?" Charlie asked her in shock as he entered her office.

"What?" She turned her head. "No." She tried to busy herself but nothing got done. She couldn't concentrate. "Ya know... something about running the government... blah blah blah."

"You need to sleep."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead." She said riffling through her desk.

"Considered the last two guys who had this job left after having massive heart attacks, I wouldn't be saying that."

She looked up at Charlie with a freaked look.

"Don't say I didn't warn ya," Charlie said, but C.J. didn't seem to pay attention.

"Where am I?" She said.

"The White House Washington, DC."

C.J. gave him a look.

"In the sit room and then back up here. I on the other hand need to get myself some coffee and get my money from Toby."

"Toby owes you money?" She took her jacket tried to get it on; she was slowed by her sleepiness. "Where am I going?"

Charlie took her body and turned her to the left, "Situation Room."

"Yeah, right. I remember that." And she went off

* * *

**The Situation Room

* * *

**

Shaken and not at all stirred, C.J. took her place in the situation room with her full spirit, as if nothing was out of place, although she was very close to knowing what it was like to have a full-on acid flashback. She took a breath. She wondered if she would ever sleep again.

"Okay," she said taking the attention of the room. "What kind of day has it been?"

* * *

Bel Air California.

**About Nine months later**.

The Home of Franklin and Gloria Hollis

* * *

Danny got out of his car an checked himself in the rear view mirror. He hadn't worn a nice suit for a long time, but anytime was a good time. He handed the valet his ticket and then caught site of her.

Well-rested and almost looking ten years younger, C.J. smiled at the sight of him. She wore a gorgeous red dress.

"Hey." He smiled. He took her hand and kissed her.

She looked nervous.

"You didn't have to wait out here. Am I late?'

"I didn't want to go inside by myself." She took a breath. "I hate these things." She smiled at him. "Thank you for doing this."

"It's what we do." He squeezed her hand. "All part of the package."

C.J. smiled with a playful grin.

"You'll do great." He put his arm around her waist and they started into the house.

"Did I tell you I got seven hours of sleep today?" She said with humor in her eye.

"No, but I believe I was the one lying next to you." He kissed her. "And the reason you didn't get ten."

"I know." She smiled. "I just like saying it out loud." She said with a sly smile. He smiled back.

* * *

**Inside...

* * *

**

"C.J.!" Frank Hollis shouted through the crowd of people. He waved his hand.

C.J. looked at Danny. "Okay, here comes the small talk."

"You'll be fine."

"Sure, I'll talk about the symbol for salt."

"Okay?" He laughed.

"Nothing." She took Danny's hand.

Frank Hollis kissed C.J. on the cheek. "Danny," he said shaking Danny's hand. "My wife, Gloria." He motioned toward a very beautiful blond woman who, despite most preconceived notions, was very, very close to Franklin Hollis's age.

"Hello," Danny said with a drink in his hand. He reached out to shake Gloria's hand. "Danny Concannon."

"It's very nice to meet you." C.J. said with confidence. She was in her press secretary mode, playing a part, a part she played very well. The woman shook her hand.

"I'd ask the affiliation, but I see the ring." Gloria said.

Danny and C.J. smiled at each other. C.J. felt a little awkward.

"How long?" she asked.

"Well..." Danny laughed and looked at C.J.

C.J. laughed.

"I'm sorry?" Gloria asked. "Is that a complicated question?"

"In a way." Danny laughed.

"You both don't know how long you've been engaged?" Gloria asked.

"Oh..." Danny laughed.

"You will excuse my wife, she thinks she's the yenta of Southern California. " Frank leaned his body toward Danny.

"You'll have to excuse my husband he likes to humiliate me in public." She laughed. "Plus yenta means matchmaker, Frank. These two are obviously already together." She fixed Frank's tie.

"It also means busy body," C.J. chimed in. Trying to make small talk. She felt them looking at her. "A friend taught me...that." She meant Toby of course.

Danny smiled to assure her she was doing fine. She knew that look.

"Oh, so now I'm a busy body," Gloria joked.

Frank coughed, feeling a little awkward.

"Five months," Danny said.

C.J. smiled at Danny. She knew what he was doing. He was saving her. She took hold of his hand and gripped tight, her fingers over his and her ring showing out.

* * *

**Later...

* * *

**

Danny made his way through the crowd with two drinks in his hands. He handed one to C.J. with a smile; she thanked him, and took the drink, keeping her conversation going.

"We really just have a half empty floor of an office building really. First couple of months are critical in a new operation, no matter how much money you have, you need to establish yourself, while at the same time actually try and get some work done-- kind of like the first few months in office because pretty soon the mid-terms come along and nothing gets done..." She saw her audience losing interest. "But I digress. We're working on getting the word out on what we're doing, to governmental agencies, other non-for profits-- but, we're really looking right now to set up shop. Working on staff, connections, showing our might. Show we're a force. Get the money doing things – for the future."

Danny had been watching C.J. the whole time. He raised his eyebrow and looked toward the man, Danny waited for the man to say something, but he didn't.

Eventually, the man spoke. "Yeah, great. Whatever Frank's involved with sounds great. He's got so much money." The man paused. "I'll have my assistant cut you a check." He paused again. "So, you worked in the White House?" he said with enthusiasm.. "That must have been real...cool." He folded his arms and bobbed his head.

Danny tried to hold in a chuckle.

"Yeah..." C.J. paused and tried not to do anything to offend the man. "It was real _cool_.' She said dryly.

"Did you get to know launch codes and stuff?"

"No..." she explained at the man's stupidity.

"Oh." He paused. "I'm gonna go get some shrimp."

Danny cracked up.

"I suck at this." She took a drink.

"Stop it. You're the most entertaining woman I know."

"Yeah, you get it. You're from my world. All my jokes about amendments and pork barrels just don't fly here," she joked. She didn't really have such jokes in her repertoire. "I gotta find a whole new act." She took a drink.

"Come on, for that lum-nut?" Danny laughed. He paused. "Well, think of it this way... if I wasn't here, you wouldn't have anyone to know just how funny that guy was."

C.J. smiled at him.

"Just relax and be yourself. You're a charming woman. I and the entire Washington Press Corp agree." He kissed her.

"I've also been locked up in a room with the joint chiefs of staff for two years,--doesn't give you a lot of time to flex that funny bone." She took another drink. "Whole new ballpark" She drifted off. "Same old game 'a politics"

"Only you call the shots." He took her arms and looked her in her eyes. "You call the shots this time. Really call 'um."

She nodded her head. C.J. let out a release of air.

"You're a smart woman with humor and sex appeal. Who wouldn't want to give you things?"

C.J. gave him her smiling glare. He chuckled.

Danny took her hand and they walked toward the center of the party.

"Danny, C.J.!" Gloria called to the two of them to come over. "We're doing hypotheticals."

"It's a game Gloria and Frank like to play." one of the woman in the group chimed in.

"It's an exercise," Gloria said to defend herself.

"Keeps the brain and the juices going." Frank said looking at his wife.

"Makes them seem smarter than the rest of us." The woman pointed out.

"You have two Masters', Cecilia., but I wouldn't call you smarter than me," Frank said without moving a muscle.

"Says the richest man in_ electronics _in the room," joked Frank's wife.

"Do we all have to show our credentials before passing go here?" one of the men joked.

"Brown." Cecilia raised her glass.

"Yale." The man with Cecilia raised his glass.

"Columbia," said Gloria. "Danny?"

"Notre Dame."

C.J. chuckled. "Berkeley."

"Twice." said Frank.

C.J. gave him a look.

"I've seen your CV." Frank saw he was being looked at. "Santa Cruz Community College." He lifted his glass with a glint in his eye. He took a drink and placed his glass on the table behind him. "Now we begin." He paused. "My wife here has, to my chagrin, picked the topic of secrets. Who here doesn't have secrets?" He chuckled a little.

"I still say," the Yale guy joined in, "I don't care how much you're in love with a person, sometimes you have to have your own thing — you don't tell someone _everything_.".

"To build a relationship you have to be honest. Honesty is trust. Otherwise it builds tension," Cecilia added.

"Wait, I think we're a little ahead of ourselves for our late guests." Frank looked at C.J. and Danny.

"The hypothetical is this," Gloria set out. "What if you have something you did, something you're not proud of, but you did it just the same. Nothing that strikes a cord in your relationship, you didn't cheat on your partner, or have a special account in the Caymans," she joked toward her husband.

"She's telling all my secrets," Frank picked up his glass and took a drink.

The gang laughed.

"How much do you tell your spouse...or partner." Gloria added. "Do you still keep secret things from your past to yourself." She seemed to get joy from the topic.

"It's still a secret?" Danny chimed in.

"That's what I'm sayin'," Gloria concluded.

"Then no. I think you have to be open in a relationship. Or it builds up." Danny wasn't sure if he was adding to the conversation. "But, that's just me."

"See, it's a trust thing," Gloria added. "If you can't trust your—"

"No, wait," Cecilia added. "Danny here just proved my point." She pointed at him. "So, you believe it leads to tension?"

"Yeah." Danny looked at C.J.

C.J. smiled and Danny looked away. Her smile became uncomfortable.

The gang laughed.

"I think you've been out voted," the Yale man laughed.

They all laughed and continued the conversation, but C.J. had been out of it for a long time. Her hand stiffened and her face was frozen. She didn't like the conversation one bit.

* * *

**LATER THAT NIGHT...**

**Santa Monica, CA**

**The Home of C.J. Cregg and Danny Concannon**

* * *

"So, I think that went well," Danny said entering the bedroom, taking his tie off from around his neck. He caught sight of C.J.'s silhouette.

She sat, hunched half way, her head lowered a little.

He saw something was wrong. He approached her and saw her face. She was crying.

"C.J." He leaned down and took her wrists. He looked her in the eye, or tried to. "What's wrong?" He was worried.

C.J. stuffed in her tears,"I want to be good at this I really do..."

Danny waited for an answer. "What?"

"Us."

"Ohhh..." Danny looked at her with sweet eyes. "You're doing fine. What...What brought this on?"

"I haven't told you everything about myself" She looked him square in the face.

"It's okay." He got where she had gotten the idea. "You will."

"I want to now," She said through her sobs. "There's something I haven't told you. Something I'm not proud of." She seemed to be talking from somewhere else.

"C.J."

"I've kept something from you–" She sobbed and pulled it in.

"You're upset, you don't have to do this." He paused. _"I trust you."_

C.J. sobbed and pulled it back in, "I want to." She paused and took in her breaths. She was able to calm her tears. "I want to tell you everything. I do. I should. I shouldn't keep this from you. You should know the real me. Who I am." She sucked in her tears. "

Danny didn't get it, "I know who you are.– C.J. I--"

C.J. just kept on talking like if she stopped she'd never get it out, "About ten years ago, maybe longer." She played with her hands, she looked down. " I was living here. It wasn't the best time of my life." She laughed. "I wasn't very happy. I didn't like myself very much. I didn't like my life very much. I was very lonely."

"We all go through that–" he said, to let her know it was okay.

"I did something stupid. I don't regret any one thing I've done more than that moment," she sobbed.

Danny looked at her. He wanted to stop this, he wanted to make her pain go away. He still wasn't sure where it was going.

C.J. went on speaking. "I did... I should have stopped myself. I should have stopped myself from getting on that elevator, I'm not proud of myself..." She sobbed and sucked it back in.

"C.J.," he said as if to say, You don't have to do this. Please don't hurt yourself like this.

"I slept with—" She sucked in a large breath and the words came out sloppy.

"C.J. stop," he demand sweetly.

"I have to tell you--"

"C.J.--" He tried and she wouldn't stop.

"I've done something I can't explain..."

"C.J.--" He tried to speak, but she cut him off again.

She sobbed. "Things I have no one to apologize to for."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. I want to tell you—"

"C.J." He tried to talk again and she just ran over him.

"I was at a fundraiser for Emily's List– I'd met him once before, but he never--" She paused for a sob and in the silence Danny pursed his lips to speak.

"C.J..." He spoke in the pause, softly and with all concern. "I know."

The temperature in the room dropped

C.J. looked Danny in the face. He pulled in his lips and half nodded. The love and compassion on his face, the guilt in not telling her, all came through, but all C.J. heard were the words.

"What?"

"I know," he said softly.

"You can't..." She was sure he didn't know what she was talking about. She pulled away slightly.

He took a breath and didn't look very proud of himself. "I know."

"You can't know what—" She wouldn't believe it, but Danny talked over her.

Danny's guilt was showing through. "I was doing a story—"

C.J. shook her head. "No."

"I didn't mean to find it." It was torture for Danny to say it. "But I did."

"No. " Her tears started to flow. This wasn't happening.

"I was doing a story on discrepancies in John Hoynes's book and the New York Times magazine article." He gritted his teeth. Danny wasn't very proud of himself.

"No." She broke from his grip. She was defensive. Almost in a sense of shock.

"C.J." He tried to calm her.

C.J. paced and turned her back to him. Danny kept on defending himself.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to...I didn't want you to think...it doesn't mean anything to me... I don't care!--" It was hard for him to find the words. He found the whole thing ridiculous.

C.J. was silent and she finally spoke through her tears. "How?"

"I was working on a story – C.J., I don't care. _I don't care what _you did––"

She turned and cut him off, "You didn't print it?"

"No!" He said with a question, as if to say, How could I?

"Why?"

"Because..." he trailed off. "I couldn't print that!—It would be yellow _journalism_. You know that."

"But it was part of a story."

"That part wasn't news. I can't write that kind of stuff. Not anymore." He looked around before looking her in the face. "And not about you." His eyes were full of tears.

"You don't suppress stories for me." She demanded. "We never let..." C.J.'s tears were flowing and her hands were gesturing widely. "Our...we didn't let that happen. That didn't happen. It never —"

"Come on!" He struck back at her. "We did it all the time." He took a quick breath. "Maybe me more than you. But, you can't say that our feelings for each other, _friendship_ or otherwise, didn't affect the decisions we made, when one of us was in the picture. This was just _bigge_r."

"You should have come to me." Her voice was full of emotion.

"And what? Have you tell me to publish it? I knew you would, C.J. If I came to you. If it was me...you can't tell me...if it was any other reporter,_ but me_,... if I came to you, you can't tell me you wouldn't have made me publish it." He was becoming overcome by his emotions. "And if you'd ask me..." He sucked in his tears. "If you had asked, I would have...And it would have killed me." He took another pause. "It already killed me holding onto to that story for a year."

"What does that _mean_!" She said with the defense she used to hold down reporters in her press room.

Danny looked away.

"What does that mean!" she yelled through her tears. She was the C.J. of old. It was like they were back at the White House.

"I didn't know what to do. I held it in my computer. I wrote it, I just didn't publish it – I didn't show it to anyone. I just kept it on a disk. I didn't know what to do." He paused. "I didn't know **what** _to do."_

"I broke the camel's back?" She said through her tears.

Danny took a moment, he put his hands in his pockets and softly spoke. "Doug Weston did that."

"But I got you half way there didn't I!" she exclaimed. "Douggy just pushed you off the deep end. I got you to the edge."

Danny didn't say anything, but she knew him too well.

"What did you do with it?"

"C.J."

"_What did you do with it!"_

"I don't know what you mean?"

"The information. You had to have something – a source, some paperwork?. What did you do with it? The disk." She demanded through her tears. "You must have done something with it."

"I burned it." He said simply.

C.J. lowered her head in pain.

Danny walked closer. "I had to"

C.J. pulled away. Almost inside her self. She put her hands out.

"C.J."

"I can't be here right now." She turned and walked from the room at a quick pace.

Danny ran after her, calling for her as he went. "C.J.!"

"I can't be here right now." She trailed off in her distracted state. She grabbed her purse from the hallway.

"C.J.!" he yelled as they turned the corner into the foyer. Danny spoke with passion and authority. "I was just trying to protect you."

C.J. turned with tears in her eyes. "Well...I don't need protecting." And she left, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

**LATER...

* * *

**

Danny sat alone in his bedroom, sitting on the bed, not knowing what to do.

The clanging of keys on the dresser caused his head to turn toward the sound, and there she was.

"I was always afraid it'd be you." C.J. said, her voice tired from all the emotion.

"C.J." He stood.

"No talking. It's my turn to talk."

Danny did what he was told.

"I was always afraid you'd be the one to find out." She took in a breath. "Anyone, but you. Any _other_ reporter, but you." She paused "I had these dreams ...after I found out I wasn't in his book. I told myself it was over, but I still feared it would happen. Just in another way." She took a pause. "Just like you said..." She trailed off for a moment. "You'd come to me – and tell me you knew. That you'd _found out_. somehow." She took a breath. "'Cause that's what you did – that was your job – that's what you're good at-- finding the story." She took a pause. "Somehow if it was out there you'd find it." She took in another breath through her tears. "I didn't want it to be that way. I didn't want you to have to do what you did — find out that way--go through what you went through. I didn't want that for you. I didn't _want_ you to have to go through that... go against..." She lowered her head and sucked in her tears. She flipped up her head and her hair. "'Cause you're right." She said softly. " If you'd come to me with that I'd make you post it just to prove there wasn't a conflict of interest, just to prove I didn't..." She caught her words. "Just to prove I didn't love you." Her tears started to come again. "It was the nightmare scenario — it was this. " " She was starting to lose it.

Danny approached slowly, his own eyes filled with years.

C.J. sucked it in and kept going, "I didn't want you to find out from some piece of paper, or a phone number written on a cocktail napkin." She laughed. "'Cause I knew you would." She sucked in a tear. "You're the most moral man I know..."

Danny moved his head at the comment. He was moved and dying for her at the same time. He inched closer. He so wanted to speak.

"And the idea that I pushed you over the edge." She broke down for a moment.

"You didn't," he said softly. She didn't silence him, so he moved forward.

Finally the kicker came out and C.J. spoke. "I didn't want you to think less of me."

_"I don't."_ He said inches from her face. He took her face in his hands. "We all do things we're not proud of. We all do things."

"I'm so ashamed of myself." She cried.

"You were lonely..."

"It's no excuse." The sobs were heart breaking.

"Stop this. I don't care!" Danny became passionate and irate. "We've all done things we're ashamed of. Do you think you're the only one? Come on, C.J."

She shook her head. "No."

"I suppressed stories 'cause of you. I never wanted to admit it, but I did. You think I sat on that Shariff story for _Leo_– for _the President_? I did that for _you_. I'm not proud of that. We all do things we're ashamed of. That's part of life, C.J. _Especially_ when emotions are at play--"

"--I want you to know the truth. I want you to know what really happened."

"--I don't need to." He talked over her.

"I want you to hear my side of the story."

"I don't have to"

"He started flirting with me and I didn't get it at first."

"Why? Why do I have to hear it. It shouldn't matter."

"Because I need you to hear this from me," she demanded. "My side of story. My truth. I don't want you to think..."

"I don't need to know, C.J. It's all in the past," he said from the other side of the room. "I don't need an explanation." He gave her his half-way smile, because he finally got it. "I still love you." And with those last four works Danny finally got to the point C.J. needed to hear.

She was floored.

He laughed. "That's what I've been saying, C.J. You don't have to explain yourself. Not to me, not to anyone. But especially not to me." He shook his head. "Not to me. " He paused and saw how hurt she was. "What I went though? That was about me putting something out there that people would use against you, that was my struggle. I didn't to want to hurt you—that was all me. You didn't do that. You warned me and I didn't listen. That was all me." He sucked in his emotion. There was a pause between them. "You didn't kill a man, C.J. You slept with John Hoynes." He smiled slyly to make her laugh. "Many woman can say the same – that doesn't make you a bad person. Not in my eyes."

"I'm sorry." She cried and dropped on the front of the bed.

"You don't have to apologize to me?" he said with a question. Why would she have to do that? Danny sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't have anyone else to apologize to."

"No..." Danny nodded his head. "You don't."

"I guess I want you to forgive me." she said, her sobs subsiding.

"I'm not the one who has to forgive you." He paused and ran his hand over her hair.

C.J. nodded.

He looked her in the eyes and spoke in his sweet and comforting tones."You have _one _thing, C.J. Many, _many _people have done much more and far worse. And you've done so many _great things_, you're _**doing** _so many great things – " He smiled. "They trump this, I guarantee." He took a breath. He wiped the tears from her face, which caused her to smile. "We all don't always think with our heads." He laughed at himself through the tears. "I should know."

C.J. laughed a little too, but it came out as a cry.

"Everyone has regrets." He took a breath and saw she was coming around. He looked her directly in the eye. He took her hand and kissed it.

She smiled.

"Forgive yourself, C.J. You need to forgive yourself." Danny said inches from he face. "Stop asking the world to do it for you."He stopped and spoke softly. "You know that already, I know you do." He paused and looked at her with his loving look. "Close the door." He said softly. "Close the door."

Their heads met and C.J. closed the door on that chapter of her past.

* * *

**The Present**

**The Office of C.J. Cregg – COS**

**The White House, Washington. DC.

* * *

**

"I hired a lawyer." Toby said to C.J. Toby's eyes filled with emotion, for a thing he regretted doing, something out of character, something he did out of emotion and not thought. "I did it."

And C.J.'s life at that moment crumbled.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER FOUR**

**Note**: If you would like to read more about Danny's struggle with the "red disk", a.k.a. the information he found on C.J. and Hoynes, you can read last year's season of:

_On The Road With Danny: 04-05: Season Six_

_Particular Chapters of Interest:_

_Chapter 13:_

_Chapters 33-36_


	5. Chapter 5: The Day After

**On The Road With Danny Concannon: '05-'06**

"_The Day After"_

**Companion Episode**: Here Today

* * *

People tell me life is sweeter  
But I don't hear what they say  
Nothing comes to change my life  
So tomorrow is today

**Tomorrow is Today William Joel

* * *

**

Some nights she'd tell him about her past, and he about his, as lovers tend to do. She'd tell him of her thoughts and feelings. She'd tell him of her memories and all the aftermath that led her to the day after the next. It was always the day after that made her yearn for hope, look for her faith, or wonder whether the next days, after that, would be worth living. It was the day after, in the wake of ,that could be her true barometer. After all the adrenalin had lifted and life tried to get back to normal, she could gage the kind of state she was in; it was always the day after. Whether faith was lost or found. Only when she had time to breathe. The day after.

* * *

The Day After the firing of Toby Ziegler

**The Present : **_Aug 2005

* * *

The day after Toby left the White House was not any normal day; the air felt it, but every one knew they couldn't acknowledge it. Eyes were averted, voices hushed, and conversations stopped, especially upon the passing by of one Ms. C.J. Cregg. The country had to be run, no time for love lost, blood loss, or shedding of tears. Not that there was anyone to talk to, confide in, vent to, or banter with. That was all in the past. It was finally all gone. _

That morning, the day after, C.J. walked the halls to her office with the feeling of a huge weight on her chest. Her eyes glared out with a frozen stare, and an awkwardness in her stride that seem to make its way all the way up her long legs and into her vocal cords. But, there was no one there to really notice. Her walk looked the same, her decisions seemed the same, but there was something underneath, something she wasn't sure could be cured.

The day after the night Toby was gone had to be like any other, she repeated to herself, but again it wasn't. People pretended it was, but it wasn't. C.J. pretended it was, but it wasn't. There were more important things at hand, life had to go on, affairs of state had to go on, and C.J., a shell of her former self, _had_ to go on. She had broken her last straws and wasn't sure if life would get any better. She felt mad, betrayed, empathetic, and hurt all at the same time. She had lost her faith.

On the day after, C.J. Cregg was at her lowest. The final door had been closed to her. Her men where gone. C.J. Cregg was officially alone. But, on the day after like all the days after, she had to go on.

Margaret walked into C.J.'s office holding a stack of newspapers. C.J. sat stoic at her desk, looking out at nothing.

"Carol brought over the morning papers." Margaret set the huge stack on the small table next to the television.

C.J. turned her head and gave Margaret a look before speaking, "I don't want 'um." She looked down at her desk finding work to busy herself. "Will can report to me anything he feels I need to know. I don't feel like reading the papers this morning."

"Carol told me you'd want to read the Post."

C.J. turned her head toward Margaret.

"She said below the fold."

C.J. stood and walked toward the stack of papers at a quick pace. C.J. picked up the paper with a fury. She flipped it to the bottom half.

"Page 16 I think," Margaret continued.

C.J. checked the index and started to open the paper.

"Why anything below the fold would be worth your interest—" Margaret wondered out loud. She caught sight of the page C.J. had found. The headline read : The Man Before The Scandal."

C.J. closed the paper.

"Who wrote it?" Margaret asked.

"Danny Concannon," C.J. sighed his name. Of course it was him.

Nothing was said for a moment.

"Are you going to read it?" Margaret asked.

"I can't read it right now." C.J. put the paper down and returned to her desk.

"Gail needs some time today to talk about Ellie and Vic's wedding and engagement party?"

"I'm sorry?" C.J. looked up. She couldn't have meant her fish.

"Eleanor Bartlet's wedding. She got engaged last night."

"Oh..." C.J. peaked a little smile, but it was hard. "That's nice." But she didn't have much feeling in it. As much as she wanted to.

"They've chosen to have the wedding here, at the end of September so–"

"Fit her in around lunch—" C.J. waved Margaret off with her hand. "I'll just eat something quick here."

Nothing was said for a moment. Margaret wasn't sure what to do.

"Coffee?" Margaret asked.

"More like a vodka gimlet and bottle of merlot." She bemused.

"I don't think I can do that." Margaret spoke with her usual deadpan.

"Coffee will be fine," C.J. told Margaret.

Margaret nodded her head and walked out.

C.J. still felt like she'd been hit in the head with a frying pan and punched in the gut with a few rolls of pennies. C.J. took a breath and wondered if life would always be this way. She wondered if the days after this day would be any better. If she'd feel as terrible every day as she did she today.

* * *

**The Day After the Inauguration**

January 22, 2006

_Danny and C.J.'s first night in their new home_

* * *

The day after the Inauguration, the day after she was officially in traditional unemployment, before her new job started, before her new life started, C.J. Cregg got on a plane with an anticipatory smile on her face. On the day after, she slept without thought for the first time in a long time. On the day after, she felt real sunshine on her face for the first time. 

On the day after it all C.J. Cregg and Danny Concannon entered their first home together, and started the first steps toward a life. All on the day after. The day after it all.

In only less than twenty four hours, C.J. had already found a home, gotten to drive in her second love, her baby blue mustang, and fended off Josh by phone with her usual sense of moxie. On the day after, C.J. took a stand to start her new life. On the day after, C.J. was eager to start over.

After getting Josh off the phone and making sure he didn't call for at least the next four months, C.J. told Danny to go find some wine glasses, a in one of the few boxes that had come with Danny the week before. She had a bottle of merlot in her purse.

On the day after, they celebrated.

Danny walked slowly, savoring the moment of the day, into his and C.J.'s bedroom. His left hand in his pocket, the other holding two wine glasses, he looked over the room full of boxes and suitcases, and the mattress and box spring set on top of each other, for a make shift bed, no backboard or frame, yet. There was something about sleeping in their house for their first night together in California, it just seemed right, and when C.J. suggested it a few days before, Danny said yes right away. He held two wine glasses in his right hand.

The room was dark except for a small desk lamp on the floor next to the bed, next to which was a box with an alarm clock, it made the room have a slight golden light to it. Danny caught sight of something on the edge of the bed; a teal green slip/night grown with lace boarders and a small bow. Danny ran his hand along the side to feel the fabric.

"I felt like I should buy something new for tonight. I don't know why?" C.J.'s voice was heard behind him. "You like it?" she asked sweetly.

Danny turned to her.

"I do." He kissed her with his arm around her. C.J. took a sigh.

"I found glasses." He showed them to her with a smile.

"Great." She had that glint in her eye. "Pour me a glass." She took a few steps backwards looking at him. "It's on the window sill."

Danny walked over to the window sill and opened the bottle of wine, there was a cork next to the bottle. He looked at her intermittently.

She smiled and swayed a little.

Danny brought her a glass.

C.J. took it and kissed him.

"To our house," Danny said lifting his glass.

"To our new life," she smiled. They kissed and each took a drink. C.J. set her glass back on the window sill.

"I wasn't kidding with Josh, by the way." She took a breath. "I told Frank Hollis not to expect me to start for at least three months."

He laughed. "I have no problem with that," he said inches from her face.

C.J. laughed, "I'm gonna go change." C.J. handed Danny her wine glass and took her slip off the bed.

"You can do that here," he smirked causing his grin to be kissed.

"I'm going for an effect..." she smiled and walked seductively toward the bedroom.. "Trust me." Her voice glided in as she walked toward the bathroom backwards. She almost hit the archway. C.J. tried not to look embarrassed.

Danny smiled. After she couldn't be seen anymore Danny threw himself backwards onto the bed. He took another drink of his wine.

"So, I just got a call from Richard Folger," Danny yelled.

"From the Globe?" she called from the bathroom.

"Works for the Post now, LA branch." Danny took his cell phone out of his pocket and set it back on the box to the left of the bed.

"Boston to LA, not the most direct of routes," C.J. yelled, to be heard, from the bathroom.

"Ahh, he got married, had kids, wanted a more stable job-- this one was open."

"Funny, how that all happens."

"He offered me a job."

"Really?" She peaked her head out.

"Yeah," he said, surprised.

"What do ya think?" C.J. appeared in the doorway.

Danny was taken aback. She was backlit by the bathroom light. She looked almost like a gorgeous shape in a frame. A matching robe flowed behind her.

"Wow." He stood up in his seat.

C.J. lowered her head in embarrassment and up again with a flirty smile. She sauntered into the room. "_ef--- _

_"–fect._" Danny laughed and finished her sentence. "Yeah.." Danny stretched it out as he waited for her to approach the bed.

"I was asking what you thought of Richard Folger's offer?" She put her knees on the bed and inched toward him.

"Now is not the time I want to be thinking about Richard Folger." Danny watched C.J. crawl toward him and rest in the middle of the bed.

"I'm serious."

Danny ran his hands over her waist. "So am I," he said with his flirty charm, leaning forward toward her. He took hold of her and leaned backwards, so she would fall on top of him.

"Do you wanna work at the Post, again?"

"I don't know." He said with all seriousness.

"You won't miss going into an office everyday?" Her robe slipped off her shoulder.

"I feel like there's something we're missing here." He kissed the open skin on her shoulder.

This caused C.J. to smile back at him. "Hummm." She ran her fingers through his hair.

He kissed her neck and made his way down her neck line. "This room makes me feel like I'm in a college dorm room." he said looking around.

"No talking," she said with a giggle.

"Oh, now you wanna..." He flipped her and lifted her leg up around him.

She laughed and he kissed her.

"Danny?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna get a dog." she rattled off in her enthusiasm, yet with a dash of peacefulness. "Can we get a dog?"

"Ahh sure." Danny wasn't sure where this was going. It came out of nowhere. "We can do anything you want."

"I've always wanted a dog."

"We should just make sure it doesn't _ea_t the fish."

"No, those are cats."

"Ohh."

"A dog seems like a domestic thing, It seems like something real people do. It seems stable. I never had time for a dog. A dog, a house... _my man_---" She tightened her arms around his neck.

"Real people?"

"---I want to start a _life, _Danny."

"I can see that." He laughed.

"I'm ready. I'm really ready to start a life. I wanna start over."

"Okay," he laughed. "Hold your horses. Down girl."

"I'm not kidding. I love what I did..."

"I know, and you don't have to—"

"But, I just want you to know how excited I am about this. I want you to know that."

"I do." He seemed so proud of her. "I do." He kissed her and they were caught up in the passion for a moment.

"Soo..." She got shy.

"Sooo..."

"I've been thinking..." she trailed off her lines softly.

"Yeah?" He leaned in thinking it was something dirty.

"Did you feel strange at all when Josh refereed to you as my boyfriend?"

"Did he?"

"At my–our age in life it just sounded----.."

"Ridiculous?" he laughed.

"Yeah."

"Any suggestions?" Danny asked in good humor. He ran his hands along her shoulder.

"On how to change it?"

"Call in a few governmental favors?"

"----Grease a few palms, sounds good.----"

"Former and present presidents alike," he humored with her.

"See, I thought we'd save that for those pesky parking tickets." She ran her arms around his neck.

"Sounds like a good plan," Danny joked back.

C.J. got silent for a moment, "See..."

"Yeah?" Danny waited again for an answer.

"I was thinking of something else?"

"Yeah?"

There was a small pause as Danny watched C.J. take her time to form the words.

"I thought we'd get married."

Danny was stopped in his tracks, his whole face became a huge smile. His heart skipped a beat and his eyes teared up. He took a moment before answering, although his face said it all.

He nodded his head, "I have no problem with that."

"You packed up your life to be with me."

"I told you I had no problem with---"

"This is it," she said as if she finally got it. She was so calm.

Danny nodded,"Yeah."

"Even when I was scared out of my mind..." She paused.

"I knew you knew." Danny nodded his head "Yeah." He was so moved by her words.

"I don't know if I'm still over that—"

"You don't have to be, it takes time."

"When I left the White House, for the last time, did I tell you what the last thing I did was?" C.J. was caught in a small emotion and a sense of pride.

Danny shook his head. "No".

"I walked into the press room."

Danny smiled and took a short sigh.

"I walked in, and I stood out on that podium. I let it all soak in. It all just flooded back." Her eyes got misty. "I did some great things."

"_Yes_, you did." Danny encouraged her.

"And it brought me _you, _and Josh, and Sam, and everyone who was ever dear to me. Every major accomplishment I ever did, but... it's over now. It's gone and I'm okay that with that." She smiled sheepishly which became a normal smile. "I'm over the moon about that and it's not just because I have you and this amazing job..."

"And smog." Danny joked, but C.J. just rattled on.

"I waited so long for this – we waited so long for this – you're right we're not 25 anymore and I'm tired, and I'm worn out and I just want to do the fun things, the good things, the things that make me happy. " She paused and caught the words. "You make me happy. I'm ready for new things."

Danny was so touched he couldn't speak.

"Thank you." It was the words he longed to hear. They laughed in an anticipatory and loving way.

"I know I'm getting a little carried away, but I'm just on this..."

"High?"

"Yeah." She hit him.

"Oww," Danny laughed.

"And it's not just the wine talking, or the wine I had on the plane."

Danny laughed with joy.

"Or some Ambien haze."

"I really hope not."

"And I'm sorry, I asked you first, I guess I'm not making you feel much like a man right now."

"No, I'm still feeling pretty masculine," he chuckled, considering the fact that she was sitting on him.

"But it dawned on me, and not just from the Josh thing, but from this last week, and on the plane-- this is for keeps. And after my little Shakespearean/ Greek tragedy drama scene I played out a few weeks back."

"It wasn't that bad, " he laughed but still consoled her. Everything about her always gave him a kick.

"You'd be too scared to ask me, or you'd think I never want to."

"I wouldn't think that–"

"I'm not saying we should get married right away, or next week or next month, I just want—"

"To be with me," he laughed being sure of himself.

"You're making fun of me," she demanded in her way.

"I _am_ not." He smiled from ear to ear.

"Without pretense—" She nodded her head from side to side. "And without labels." That part felt stupid to her.

"That means a lot."

"I know. I haven't said it enough." She lowered her head.

He got her eyes, "You didn't have to."

"I did–I do."

"This isn't too much of a step for you?"

"I'm not saying now...I'm just sayin'."

"Just sometime in the future?"

"Yes."

Danny just smiled. He chuckled and didn't say anything

"What? Say something. I'm putting my heart out and you're not saying anything," she squealed.

"Yes," he said.

"Danny?"

"Yes, I'm saying yes, I'll marry you," he laughed. There was a small joyous pause."But, you're right, it's pretty crummy I don't get to ask." He smiled.

"I'm sorry." She shrugged and looked away, feeling guilty.

"You don't need to be." He got her gaze again. "I'll get over it." There was a silence while he gazed into her eyes.

"Soo..." She felt awkward. "You can go out and buy the ring—"

Danny turned his body away from her and reached into his bag next to the bed.

"I like silver, silver's nice..." She was awkward at the whole thing of asking. "I could pick it out, or you could—"

"You don't have to." Danny appeared back facing her to show a box in his hand.

C.J. didn't know what to say.

"You're right. I was gonna ask." he said in his most loving voice. " But, I think you had to have known that–"

"---Based on past performance."

"Something like that." He paused for a moment. "Now, it's my place in the sun." Danny opened the box and it took C.J.'s attention. It was a small, sweet ring, just the kind of classy ring C.J. Cregg would wear. "Do you like it?"

"I do," she said looking at him.

"I can get another one."

"No, no." She looked at it. "It's perfect." She reached for it.

"No." He took it himself. "It's my turn now."

C.J. never looked so serene. She wasn't kidding anymore, she was calm and collected, just how she had looked when she left the White House the day before.

Danny started his speech, "This is something, I saw coming since the first moment saw you. Which is why, now, at this moment I'm not surprised to find myself here. Not one bit." He was beginning to choke up." He paused. "And I'm not surprised to be doing this." He took the ring out of the box. "Claudia Jean Cregg."

She laughed and it got sweet and awkward.

This caused Danny to laugh for a moment with her.

"It would be my pleasure if you'd be my wife." Danny slipped the ring on her finger.

He had tears in his eyes and so did C.J.

"Yes."

"Yes." He said not believing it himself.

They laughed and cried. They couldn't really believe this odd out-of-nowhere moment.

"But, not right away," she said.

"No, _whenever_ you're ready," he assured her.

"Soon."

"This is a really big step you're taking, I don't want you to think you have to do this because of me–

"I'm not."

"You're sure?"

She took a smile before speaking, "I am." Her grin was huge.

On the day after, C.J. started her new life. On the day after, she truly jumped off the cliff. And she wondered if life would always be so wonderful, just like only six months before she had wondered if life would always be so awful. On the day after, this time, C.J. wasn't in any pain; she was happy, but still a little frightened, in a good way. This day after was filled with giddy uncertainly. She knew, for the first time in a long time, that life was worth living again. Still she wondered if all the days after this one would be just as wonderful.

* * *

**ANOTHER DAY AFTER...**

Two Years Later Late January 2008

Dayton, OH

* * *

The day after C.J. came home from the hospital, the day after, felt strange. Coming in with nothing and going out with a child seemed like something out of a science fiction movie. Being in Dayton at the time was not something she had expected. The day after she had expected to be at home in California, but life jumped in and took the wheel. 

C.J. awoke sprawled in her own bed, not the one she grew up in, but it was her room at least. It was not where she had expected to be the day after.

She woke up with a smile on her face. The day after, she felt safe. The day after felt different from all the rest. She had a heathy child, no more worries, no more stress, she'd gotten through to the other side of a difficult nine months, but soon the worrying would start on an entirely different scale. For now, she was going to bask in the day after, the day after it all. The pain slowly drifting from her brain. She could hardly remember it.

C.J. opened her eyes and yawned. After a moment C.J. lifted herself up and slowly propped herself up against the backboard of the bed. She looked around. No Danny. No baby.

"Hey." Danny peaked his head in the door.

"Hey," she smiled.

Danny came up and kissed her full on the month.

C.J. sighed. She ran her hands over his shoulders and arms, "Where's the baby?" she asked.

"Hogan has her."

"I'm here. Here she is," Hogan said slowly coming into the bedroom with the small child.

Born a few weeks early, but still normal and heathy, just eager, like her parents, to be out into the world, she was already the curious child.

C.J. and Danny's eyes lit up at the entrance of their child. It was something they couldn't believe. She was their miracle baby. The entire experience was not lost on them. It was strange, odd, and all together out of body, so to speak. They were parents.

C.J. put her arms out and Hogan slowly lifted the baby into her arms..

Danny leaned down and kissed his daughter on the head, "Hello, bug." He kissed C.J. on the forehead. It was all so surreal.

Danny sat on the edge of the bed, next to C.J. and watched his girls. He then took his phone out of his pocket and started to position it for a picture.

"Oh, Danny, don't." She moved her head.

"Just the baby." He moved the phone toward her.

"You got enough pictures there, Danny." Hogan joked with him.

"Never enough," Danny joked and snapped the picture.

The baby cried.

Danny laughed.

C.J. laughed. "I should feed her." C.J. took a breath."You don't mind if I?"

"I don't mind." Hogan and Danny spoke at once.

Danny gave Hogan a funny look.

"I meant because I have them." Hogan rolled her eyes.

C.J. laughed, "Close the door."

Hogan closed the door.

C.J. opened her blouse and let her child take hold of her breast. It was easier than the last time.

Danny looked on with a huge smile. There was something just gorgeous about C.J. feeding their baby. Not sexual, just beautiful.

"Does it hurt?" Hogan asked.

"At first, a little, they said I'd get used to it. I am already." She looked down at the girl.

"She's so small." Hogan said peaking over from the foot of the bed.

"That'll change." Danny laughed. He looked at C.J. "She is a Cregg."

"Concannon," C.J. joked, but she had a deep sense of meaning. She looked at her daughter. "Cregg-- Concannon." She smiled up at Danny.

Wow, C.J. thought, what a change in events. If anyone had told her, even two years ago, she'd be having Danny's baby she would have laughed them out her office, even the thought of her having a baby, a year from then, would have had her calling the person crazy. It just wasn't a future she saw for herself, not that she never thought she wanted it, it just wasn't a future she saw for herself anymore. Not this late in life. C.J. had figured, a long time ago, her time was up, but she was wrong.

But, here she was, married to Danny, holding their child, it was real, it felt right, it felt good. She wasn't scared, or unsure, and she clearly wasn't alone. On the day after, C.J. was able to answer her own questions, life did get better. And for the first time, on the day after, she was able, with a calm disposition, to look into her child's eyes and know the day after would be alright.

She took a breath and relaxed.

* * *

**PRESENT**: Aug 2005

The Office Of C.J. Cregg COS

* * *

C.J. looked at the cover of the Washington Post. She couldn't read it. She threw it back on the pile of papers, face down. 

She couldn't begin to remember the last time she had talked to Danny, it had been that long. There was a time when they talked, but after a certain point, after the conflict had gotten too bad, their bond too strong, she pushed him away. She'd ducked his calls and finally he had stopped calling, and she was so sure he wouldn't call again.

She was wrong, but at that moment, she was sure she was right. C.J. had gotten what she wanted and just what she didn't want.

It began to rain. The water hit her window frame like light hail. It rained on down, rained and rained. The straw was on the brink of breaking. The storm was starting.

_Oh, the water._

_Oh, the water._

_Oh, the water._

_Hope it don't rain all day._

C.J. felt numb.

_And it stoned me to my soul.._

_Stoned just jelly roll. _

_And it stoned me._

_Stoned me just like going home._

_And It stoned me._

Sometimes on the day after, the last one standing isn't the best one to be, after all and faith is broken. And sometimes one needs someone else to restore that faith, the faith in all the days after.

_Then the rain let up and the sun came up.._..

–**Van Morrison**

If only C.J. knew that.

He did. Danny knew.


	6. Chapter 6: The Other Side of The Ocean

**On The Road With Danny Concannon'05-'06**

"_The Other Side of The Ocean"_

**Companion Piece: **The Al Smith Dinner

_**Other Characters**_: Toby

**Slight Spoilers**: Institutional Memory **7.21** & Tomorrow **7.22**

* * *

**THREE MONTHS FROM JANUARY 20th**

_Santa Monica, CA_

* * *

The door opened on a fully furnished house. C.J. and Danny's tangled bodies fell into the doorway.

C.J. laughed.

Danny tried to not let go of the skis in his left hand while still retaining his grip on C.J.'s waist. Danny took hold of her lips, entrenched in each other, he finally let go of the skis, for he just couldn't keep his grip on them any longer. The skis hit the floor with a thud.

The sound sent C.J. jumping.

They both laughed.

Danny loved her laugh, but he stopped her laughter with a small tug on her lower lip, which led into a full on kiss.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, C.J. took a step and almost tripped over the skis.

Danny fell with her and stumbled almost to the floor.

They laughed.

"Danny, it's only been three..." She kissed him again, not wanting to let go. "Hours," she laughed realizing she really didn't care.

"I don't care." Danny kicked the door closed with his foot and somehow lost the keys from his left hand in the process.

They both hit the door with a thud, after it closed behind them, and they kissed for a good long moment.

C.J. broke away and started to unbutton her blouse, she used her curled finger to gesture Danny forward. Her eyes told him more things.

Danny followed. He always followed.

His firm hands ran around her back, feeling the shape of her curves.

Both equally entangled, they made their way toward the livingroom, falling all over each other. Each one taking their turn walking backwards. They stumbled down a few small steps into the sunken living room.

C.J. lost her footing and had to grab onto a small railing. She stepped awkwardly off the last step and set Danny forward a little. She pulled on the back of his shirt, pulling it out of his jeans.

Danny laughed and kissed her again. He took her lips with much enthusiasm and much sound. This all took a fraction of a moment. They fell backwards onto the edge of the couch, Danny's hands all over her, grabbing her thigh toward him as they fell.

Her hands on him.

Suddenly a cough, broke the silence, coming from the other side of the room. It did not from Danny or C.J.

"AGGAAHHH, " C.J. and Danny screamed and quickly broke apart, jumping off the couch, facing the living room, and the cough.

"Toby?" C.J. asked looking at the man, sitting in her living room, eating peanuts from a small bowl on her glass coffee table. She held the unbuttoned portion of her shirt toward her, although all that could be seen was a little piece of her camisole. Nothing new to see there.

"Hi," Toby said softly. Toby threw a few more peanuts in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" C.J. was pretty shocked.

"How did you get in here?" Danny asked with astonishment.

"She's predicable," he said slowly revealing a golden key in his right hand. "Third plant from the left..." He paused. "Don't worry, " he grumbled "I won't be keeping it." Toby slid the key across the glass coffee table.

Danny smiled., his mouth a little open in the disbelief of it all.

C.J. and Toby stared at each other.

There was an awkward pause.

"I'm gonna go unpack the car," Danny said. He kissed C.J. on the side of the head. "Let you two talk." He turned to Toby. "Congratulations, Toby."

"Ahh... yeah..." Toby felt embarrassed and waved it off with a face. "Thanks."

Danny made his way out.

C.J. watched Danny leave

"You're a hard person to get in touch with," Toby spoke in his soft voice. "I tried to get a number for you. It said you didn't have one yet."

"We haven't had one connected yet. We've been a little busy-"

"I saw," he let out a small chuckle.

"Toby..." She paused and started to button up her blouse. "Why are you here?"

"I went to your place— a strange short woman answered the door..."

"I had to lease it out-"

"I called Josh..." Toby looked up at her. " He told me where to find you— "

"I needed to leave. I just wanted to—"

"Get the hell outta dodge."

"Something like that." She gestured with her hand. Her ring came into view.

Toby caught site of it. "Nice piece of hardware there."

"Oh..." She looked at the ring.

"You're—"

"Yeah." She gestured with the ring awkwardly.

"You pick a date?" he asked.

"No, not yet." She paused for a moment. "We're not doing that right now."

"I'd ask to get a closer look at the ring, but then that would just...make me a woman." He threw some peanuts into his mouth "You happy?" he asked.

She smiled. "Yes," she said, almost as a question, as if to say, Of course I am, why do you ask.

Toby smiled back, "Good." He paused. "I haven't seen you happy for a long time."

"No." She shook her head.

His eyes filled with emotion.

There was a pause between them.

"I saw in the paper you took the Hollis job." Toby interjected in the silence. "Nice, deal," he laughed uncomfortably.

"Yeah, I start looking at spaces next week."She looked down. It felt weird talking about her success with Toby's prospects not looking so good. Pardon gets you out of jail, but not back on a government payroll.

"You're the woman in charge. You call the shots." He nodded his head. There was a pause. Toby looked at her for a moment "Your gonna be so good at that, ya know."

"Ya think?" she asked. Already knowing, but wanting to hear it from her best friend. "I did that for almost three years."

"With someone else's message," he pointed out. "Wheeling and dealing getting things done for people, it's like the best of the Chief of Staff job and being the Press Secretary." He saw her smile at him and it made him smile back. "No more pushing someone's else's agenda. You never liked that part anyway.."

"No...I didn't–"

"You hated it, you always did. From the day I met you – you hated the fact that not everyone agreed with you. _Took_ your side on things." He paused and looked at her. "You're a _tough_ lady..."

"I'm a _tall_ lady." She sat on the couch next to him.

"That too," he laughed.

C.J. laughed.

Toby smiled.

"How did you know we'd be back today, Toby?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Danny and I have been skiing for two months."

"Are you asking me if I've been sitting in your house for two months, living on nothing, but peanuts and moxie."

"The thought had crossed my mind," she said dead panned.. "There's a few cans of soup in the earthquake kit. You could have made a nice gazpacho.".

Toby chuckled silently.

"Josh?" C.J. got it.

"Yeah."

They just looked at each other for a moment.

"So, you learned to ski?" Toby asked in the silence.

"Yeah." She was pretty proud of herself. "I can ski now." Her eyes lit up. She crossed her legs.

"You didn't... break anything?"

"A couple of pairs of skis and one of those poll things," she laughed.

Toby chucked, "That's pretty good for you."

"I know," she laughed. C.J. leaned forward and took a few nuts from the bowl. She leaned back resting on her legs and slowly threw a few in her mouth, one at a time.

Toby took a few nuts and placed them in his hand, he threw one in his mouth and chewed.

After a moment Toby spoke up,"These nuts are stale."

"They've been here for two months," C.J. said still with a peanut in her mouth.

"Well, that explains it," he said dryly. He flaked the remaining pieces off his hands.

There was another silence.

"Why are you here, Toby?" She looked directly at him, her body still jutted out over her legs.

"I was looking for a vacation." His eyes looked away.

"Toby, your feet have only touched the sand of a beach once every forty years."

"The wandering Jew, I'm not," he said dryly.

"Toby?"

"I came to thank you," he said sincerely.

"You don't have to–." She looked away for a moment and dusted off the remains of the peanuts in her hands.

"I do."

"I had nothing to do with it," she shrugged her shoulders.

"I doubt that."

C.J. looked straight ahead. "I didn't push it, Toby. I didn't have the guts."

"But, you said something." He paused. "That was enough."

C.J. looked at him."You should thank him, not me."

"I choose to thank you." He seemed to look right into her soul.

"I'm not kidding." She leaned back.

"Toby laughed, "I don't think I'm the person he'd want to see right now."

"I didn't call afterward..." She looked away and then back. "I thought..."

"That I'd be mad?"

"Yeah." She straightened up in her seat.

"I still... I'm thanking you." He paused and nodded his head. "Thank you." Toby looked down ."My children thank you. I thank you on their behalf."

C.J. laughed and smiled through her deep emotions.

Toby looked at her. "Just take it."

"Okay," she smiled with misty eyes.

"Tom Merrill offered me a job."

"He did?" She was pretty shocked. "Can he do that?" She smiled sucking in her tears.

"He did—"

"In the Law department?"

"He got Poli-Sci to offer me a job."

"Columbia?" She was impressed. "You gonna do it?"

"I think so." He seemed a little unsure, but sure.

"Molly and Huck?"

"I could see them on weekends." He paused.

"I think you should do it."

"I'm thinkin' I should," he half smiled.

"You gonna write a book?"

"I think I'm done with telling secrets." His eyes were regretful.

C.J. took a breath. She paused. "You'd be a good professor, Toby."

"I don't know if I'd technically be a professor..." he chuckled.

C.J.'s eyes had such sincerity in them. "You'd be a good teacher, Toby." She nodded her head.

Toby took the compliment, his throat started to fill with emotion. He put his hand to his heart. He coughed and pushed his emotions back down.

"So, what else have you been doing?" Toby laughed and moved his eyes and gestured toward the couch. "I mean other than..."

"You mean _other_ than walking around in nothing but Danny's suspenders?" she said dryly.

"Now, that's an image," he smirked slightly.

"Sorry, one you can't get outta your head." She lowered her head.

"Who says I want to," he smiled.

C.J. looked up at him and smiled.

They shared another silent moment.

Toby chuckled and pushed in his emotion, "I was so afraid I'd lost you."

"To Danny?" She was shocked.

"To the other side of the ocean," he said with the beauty of the phrase.

C.J. smiled sweetly and shifted her head at him, "No."

There was a small pause between them.

"So, you're in California- I'll be in New York."

"We'll stay in touch."

"Email, phone calls, text messaging," he laughed..

"I was always fond of the telegram."

"I'll see what I can do," he said softly.

C.J. took his hand.

Toby squeezed it.

C.J. stood up holding Toby's hand. "Come on we'll go out and have some dinner. We'll find you a tub of SPF and a flowered shirt."

Toby chuckled.

C.J. smiled.

"I should go." Toby's eyes looked away for a moment.

"You've come all this way— you're not going anywhere." He didn't move. Come on." She tugged on his arm.

Toby let her lift him off the chair with a grunt.

C.J. smiled and Toby laughed at her.

Toby followed C.J. into the kitchen.

"I think I have some fresh peanuts in the kitchen," she said.

"No tour?"

"You've seen the living room." She turned and gave him cocky grin. She threw Toby an orange. "You hear Will Bailey's gonna run during the midterms?"

"Really? That why he moved to Oregon?"

"Bingo." She grinned.

C.J. found the tub of peanuts and shot them across the corner top to Toby.

He took a seat at one of the stools surrounding the counter top.

"Ya know." Toby tried to open the canister of peanuts. "When they cleaned out my office, and sent me my stuff, my rubber ball was missing." The lid still wouldn't budge. "I think Will stole it." He finally got it open. "Josh saw him with–." Toby was so busy getting the top off the peanuts he didn't notice that C.J. had left and come back. He looked up to see his rubber ball in his face, lying in her hand.

Toby let out a small audible breath.

"He didn't take it." C.J. said with emotion. "I took it. I gave him his own ball. This one was mine." She placed it in Toby's open hand.

"No." He handed it back to her. "You keep it." He paused and looked at his best friend in the world. "I got my own."

C.J. smiled and took the ball. She played with it back and forth with her hands and jumped up on the counter top.

Toby sat on one of the stools and dug into his orange.

"I'm gonna get a dog." C.J. started in on another conversation.

"That'll be nice." He paused. "You do know you have to _walk it."_

"Yes," she stressed.

"Just checking," he assured her. He laughed.

And they kept on talking.

Danny watched them from the other side of the house, in the archway to the hallway to the other side of the house. He smiled. He put his hands in his pocket and walked back into the hallway. He let them talk.

* * *

**THE END OF CHAPTER 6**

Dialogue copyright 2006


	7. Chapter 7: Sleep Cycle

On The Road With Danny Concannon: 05'06

_"Sleep Cycle"_

**Companion Episode**: Debate 7.7.

* * *

"Can't you see I'm losing my mind and if I can't get some sleep I need some quiet time for myself. Quiet time. _My time_."

**–C.J. Cregg, "Mr. Frost."**

* * *

**C.J.**

Danny what are you doing here? Why aren't you asleep?

**Danny**

I really don't know.

**---"Commencement"

* * *

**

**The Present, (Sunday) September 11th, 2005**.

The Home of Danny Concannon

Just outside of Georgetown, DC

* * *

Danny typed furiously. He hadn't slept, but he didn't have time. Work had to be done. Work had to be done because of deadlines, airplane time tables and because there was just nothing else to do. Like pretty much everyone else in this town, work was his life. Danny wasn't sure anymore if his work was his life because he wanted it that way, or his work was his life because that was all he had left. 

The TV blared the debate, and Danny, in a kind of multi-tasking way, listened with one ear while still focusing two eyes on his laptop. The typing sound was like music to his ears.

Work had to be done, coffee had to be drunk, deadlines were approaching and a there would be flight to New Hampshire in the morning – an interview with the unimpressive Doug Weston – the mystery being why a man who had no spark at their first meeting was now the rising star of New Hampshire politics. Danny was pretty shocked, and like a true journalist he would find out for himself just what was going on.

But, that was tomorrow. Today was no sleep and deadlines. He looked at the clock. A man who collapsed from exhaustion less than a year before shouldn't be keeping the hours Danny was keeping, and yet he pressed on. He told himself he was eating better, he had lost weight, one more sleepless night wouldn't do him in. The rumor around town was Danny had suffered a breakdown. That rumor was untrue. It was the work, always the work, pushing his health to the brink for the work. Danny was starting to think maybe the work wasn't worth that much trouble anymore. Or maybe he just needed a nap and a glass of water.

Danny took a drink of coffee. He really had no idea why he was still awake.

* * *

The Home of C.J. Cregg

Georgetown, DC

* * *

C.J. watched the debate on the TV, from her apartment. Really it was just background noise. She cared, but didn't, she watched, but didn't. She tried to look up from her papers, as much as she could, but she was just hearing the words. She was home, but really not at home. She wished she was asleep, but she couldn't. 

Too much work to do. It was Sunday, but it was no day of rest. Just another day with what she did best, her work. Just another day of the same old same old. She wondered if she'd go mad – all a joke to make her sane, but there was some truth in there somewhere.

* * *

"9:30am Dulles to LA direct.

An Ambian and a bad bottle of Merlot, but thank you.

**—C.J. Cregg "Tomorrow"**

* * *

January 22nd (Two Days after Inauguration)

**2:10 AM** Santa Monica, CA

* * *

Danny and C.J. laid in bed together. 

Danny could feel her slowly wake, he had become accustomed to her movement in the bed, but he still could feel her stir, perhaps it was something he never wanted to get used to. Or maybe being used to her, feeling comfortable was just what he wanted. All he cared about now was that she was near.

He was already used to the time difference, but C.J. wasn't, and so he wasn't surprised when after only a few hours of sleep, 5am on the east coast, she started to wake.

C.J. grumbled and felt Danny's arm fall slowly over her shoulder and then over her arm..

"Hummm," she let out as his hand ran around her waist.

It finally dawned on her she didn't need to wake up. How amazing it felt. She would later tell Danny of the days and times it wasn't like that, and how that made this moment all the more joyful. Her mind raced to how only months before she had never had mornings like this.

* * *

January 22nd

Santa Monica, California

**10:15 am**

* * *

Danny walked into their bedroom carrying a red mug of steaming coffee. 

C.J. stirred and opened her eyes; things were a little foggy without her contacts.

Danny said something and she nodded her head, she wasn't sure what it was.

She caught site of the clock, and its blurry time; she nestled her head on the pillow– just for a moment, she told herself. Danny set a red mug of steaming coffee next to the clock on the table by the bed.

* * *

**3:15 PM**

* * *

The cup of coffee was no longer steaming; the sun was beginning to be not be as bright, but it still shined. 

Danny came into the bedroom with the top section of the Sunday paper in his hand, the Washington Post, of course. He caught site of C.J., peaceful on the bed. He smiled. How could he wake her? She needed her sleep. Danny had had two weeks of sleep after quitting his job. She needed her sleep.

Danny circled the bed and slowly set himself on it's edge, so as not to disturb her. He smiled.

* * *

**7:03 PM

* * *

**

C.J. opened her eyes to find Danny sitting on his side of the bed reading the paper. She smiled.

Danny smiled back. He took his reading glasses off his head.

"What time is it?" C.J. raised her head. She noticed the room seemed dark.

"Seven." He kissed her on the top of the head.

"A.m.?" She murmured.

"No." He laughed. "P.m." He smiled.

"Really?" She was shocked.

Danny laughed.

"I don't think I've slept all day in my life." She paused for a moment before a huge smile grew on her face. Oh, how good it felt. Sleeping the Sunday away. She sighed and smiled again.

"Get used to it," he said sweetly. "Feels good, doesn't it?" he remarked. And oh it did.

She collapsed with a sigh into the side of his arm.

He opened his arm and she lifted up so he could wrap it around her.

* * *

**Two Years Later**

The Home of Mr. Danny Concannon and Mrs. C.J. Cregg

Santa Monica, CA

**3:50 am

* * *

**

C.J. walked in the bedroom, half asleep and fell on the bed.

Danny walked over to her and fell down on the bed next to her. He circled his arm around her. He had never felt so fatigued and tired in his life. C.J. had, but this felt different.

"We're too old for this." C.J. exclaimed before hearing the sound of her own child cry.

"This is our penance." Danny grumbled, his face buried into the bed.

"Maybe yours. I've been nothing but an angel my entire life," she said dryly.

* * *

_The next morning..._

**4:22 AM**

* * *

"C.J.," Danny said softly. "C.J.," he said again. She grumbled. He took her wrist, like he used to do, and ran his fingers over it, slowly. She started to wake. 

"Danny?"

"The baby needs to be fed."

"You do it," she grumbled.

"I can't C.J.," he laughed. "As much as I'd like to I can't."

* * *

**5:56 am

* * *

**

Danny walked into the baby's room still dressed in drawstring Pajamas and the Notre Dame sweatshirt he had been sleeping in. The sun was beginning to rise. Danny had that scruffy way-too-early morning face.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Her? Fine," she said slowly from her rocking chair. She looked like she couldn't stand up. She finally looked at him. "Danny." She moved her heard toward him."I give up. I really do."

"Noooo, you don't." He laughed her off.

"I do. I do." She stood up and a fight came over her. "I"m done. I can't take it anymore. I haven't slept. I haven't showered in days. I can't see straight." Danny put his arms around her and she leaned her head against his chest. "I have that feeling when your head is about to explode..." She looked up at him. "After an all nighter, talking about the deficit, cramming for a damn briefing on the census." She broke away as her fight got more and more manic. She still spoke at a whisper.

This caused Danny to just smirk at her.

It made C.J. all the more comical. "And even, even on my worst day — _my worst day_, on three hours sleep, I could go head to head with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the NSA, and a very opinionated intern from the Communications Department—."

Danny kept on smiling at her. He let her go on.

"I've been through dealing with war, elections, from _both_ sides. Dealt with a very disgruntled press corp at three in the morning at thirty thousand feet. I pushed back _you_, and every _other_ reporter, chompin' at the bit to get my time, but this is a cold and cruel world here, and I've been outwitted, out goosed, the Queen has lost her crown --I'm lying out in the tracks, laid out and spent, and you know why? Why? You wanna know why?"

Danny walked to her and took her wrists.

C.J. lowered her head in a cry and then raised it."Cause in all those times I could give myself a shot of caffeine, with an IV ---I'd be willing to free base, snort it up my nose, but I could do it, anytime anyplace, a shot, a latte, a grande, take your pick, I could do it, but unless I wanna give my child brain damage, or let her be made to sit in the corner with all the other weird and unusual children, besides sitting in therapy for the rest of her adult life, I am going to have to slowly go crazy." She broke away from Danny and gave him her back. She turned to see him just looking at her. "What? What? What are you looking at?

"Come here." Danny walked toward her.

"I can't do this." C.J. cried. Danny wrapped his arms around her for a hug. They stood there for a moment.

The baby cried.

C.J. groaned.

Danny peered into the crib. "Let me have her." Danny lifted his daughter out of crib and into the room.

"That's good, take her, take her away, take her to some remote village up in the Andes, I'll send her care packages, from the home I'll be in-- knitting little pink booties." She ran her fingers over her daughter's head. C.J. looked so in love, and so confused.

Danny gently bounced the baby up and down and smiled at his women.

"I can't do this, Danny."

"Yes, you can." He looked at C.J. directly "It's gonna take_ time. _For both of us. We knew it'd be _hard._. One of many new things in a lifetime of new things." He kissed his daughter on the side of the head.

C.J. sighed and gained her balance. She leaned against her husband's head.

"I just had a nutty only ten weeks out."

"It happens." He looked at her with one eye and still bounced the baby.

"I don't see you going off like Sybil of the maternity ward."

"I also don't have ten thousand volts of hormones going through my body."

"True."

"Look, she's silent."

"Her, or me?"

"Take your pick." He kissed C.J. on the cheek.

"You know the doctor said you could have a little caffeine if you wanted?"

"No." C.J. took her daughter's hand on her finger, "She doesn't like it."

"Oh, we don't want that." Danny rocked the girl up and down. He looked at C.J. "Go, sleep."

"She'll want me soon."

"Until then go to sleep. I'll call you when you're _needed_."

C.J. didn't move.

After a moment she kissed the top of her daughter's head, lingering there for a half a moment, before walking out the door.

"I think you're better than you think, C.J."

"We both are." She smiled bitter sweetly, looking at her child in her father's arms.

C.J. couldn't take her eyes off her daughter. "Just another thing in the history of many unexpected things in her mother's life that try to take her legs right out from under her."

"Hey, speakin' a legs." Danny joked.

C.J. smiled.

"Go try and sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'll sleep later."

"You were gonna write." She said with concern for him.

"I'll sleep later." He motioned for her to go with his head.

C.J. made her way out of her room, she paused for a moment at the door.

"Go," he said softly.

C.J. smiled and left the room. Danny slowly lowered his child into the crib. He looked in, looked at her blue eyes, her red hair, and her mother's face. He took a breath.

So much had changed, and really it hadn't. C.J. and Danny were still chasing that sleep dragon, just over a muse of a different kind. Sleep deprived, but loving it. Nothing had changed.

* * *

**8:20 am

* * *

**

C.J. opened her groggy eyes to see her husband Danny lying beside her, their baby daughter lying on his bare chest. She smiled in her sleepy haze.

"What are you doing?" she said softly.

"Hey." He looked at her, seeing she was awake. "I read it helps in the bonding process when she can hear my heart beat, feel the skin." He ran his finger lightly over the baby's small patches of red hair. "I think she likes it."

C.J. was on the verge of tears. Her man and her daughter. She never saw anything so gorgeous.

"Why is this happening now, Danny?" she asked like a little girl.

"I don't know," he said in all honesty. "I don't know." He laughed softly. "But, it's happening."

"I just can't believe it." She started to get teary.

Danny smiled.

"I think about all the plans we had and the things we thought we'd do and all the accomplishments– all the things we've done and I... don't care." C.J. nodded. "Not when I look into her eyes."

"Yeah." He started to tear up himself.

"Thank you, Danny."

"For what?"

"I never could have imagined my life like this. Never." She ran her hand over his face." Thank you for convincing me."

Danny smiled. "I'd have to say the same thing to you."

Their eyes met. They shared a moment.

Danny looked at his child on his chest, "Thank you." His eyes got misty.

C.J. nodded her head in her own tears.

"Are we crying because we're so tired or because we're getting over-emotional?" Danny asked.

"I don't know," C.J. laughed.

The baby stirred. They froze silently. She didn't wake. They took a breath.

"How about I cancel my trip to New York for next week – maybe go next month."

"You don't have to. I'll be fine. You need to meet with your publisher."

"I really don't." He looked at his baby. "I wanna be here, C.J. I don't wanna miss a thing."

C.J. nodded.

"We'll be fine. You should go."

"No." Danny let his voice trail off. "I can go another time." He ran his finger over his child's small head.

C.J. inched in closer, "Can I get in on this?" she said in a groggy yet sexy way.

Danny wondered how she did that. He slowly opened his arm and let C.J. lay her head half-way on Danny's chest.

They feel asleep like that, the sun came up, and they slept; Danny and his women.

* * *

**THE END OF CHAPTER SEVEN**

Dialogue copyright 2006


	8. Chapter 8: Variations on a Theme

On The Road With Danny Concannon: '05-'06

"_Variations on a Theme"_

**Companion Episode**: The Undecideds 7.8

* * *

**Mid November 2007**

LA, California

_Two years from the Present (2005)_

_21 Months since the end of the Bartlet Administration

* * *

_

C.J., seven months pregnant, stood, talking in her office, on speaker phone, her hand on her hip and the California skyline behind her. She leaned up against the window ledge for a moment between a few pictures she had set on it.

"You're doing wonderful work out there, Steve. After I give birth to this kid I'd love to come out there and see all the great work you're doing." C.J. took a breath. She was not as nimble as she used to be.

"Thank you, C.J.," came from the phone. "When are you due?"

"Eleven weeks - three days," she said with huge anticipation.

"Couldn't come sooner, huh?"

"You have no idea," she smiled. "Thank you Steve." She stood up with much effect.

"Thank you C.J."

C.J. hit the off button to the phone "Carol!" C.J. yelled as she started to walk toward the door.

Carol appeared in the doorway. "How long as it been since we discussed actually using the intercom."

"How long has it been since I actually could see my toes?" she smirked, but back to business. "How are things going for the thank you brunch next week?"

"Gable-Evans have donated all the catering, so that's done– they're even throwing in the wait staff. Macmillian has agreed to provide the drinks, at a discounted rate, and_ Jeremy LaSare_..." she said the next part with a bit of fun in her voice, "has not only donated_ all_ the flowers, but he sent over a _very_ expensive bottle of champaign. As a gift."

"Well, put it on ice for about five months and six years and I'll have it then," she said with dry sarcasm.

"You tell him you're married?" Carol joked.

C.J. gave Carol a look.

"When you meet him next week I think he'll kinda have a heart attack," she laughed.

"Listen," C.J. spoke as she took a few files and set them in her purse. "You need to tell the caterer I can't have most fish, no swordfish, tuna or bree– no soft cheeses."

Carol made a note on her note pad. "Was this something the doctor told you?"

"No, just something I picked up...somewhere." She sure as hell knew where she picked it up.

"Oh, and Charlie called," Carol sprouted up.

"Really?" She set aside some papers on her desk.

"Yeah, and he's already setting up his winter plans, he wanted to know if you still wanted him to intern again during his winter break."

"He just left here from his summer break," she laughed like a question.

"C.J., it's November."

"Oh...yeah," she wondered where the time went.

"He said something about a good deal on a plane ticket if he buys now."

"I think he just wants to spend his winter in California," she smirked. "Tell him, yes. I'd love to have him – _as always_."

Carol started for the door.

C.J. stopped her. "And tell him he doesn't have to ask."

"He still will, you know."

"I know." She felt something, perhaps the baby kicking, but it was different. She put her hand on her stomach. "Oh, and Carol if you can keep my reviews with Kathy Mcgraw on _the phone _for the next two months you'd really save my life. As long has she doesn't _monopolize_ my call sheet. Everytime I get in a _room _with that woman she has this terrible need to touch my stomach." C.J. made her way back to her desk. "I just don't feel like being touched today. — this _entire_ month."

"I bet Danny loves that," Carol joked and made a note in her note pad.

"He's over the moon," she said dryly.

"I'm having a child, I'm not Buddha--" C.J. walked back toward her desk. She smiled, but her smile turned sour. "Ahh.." C.J. put her hand on her stomach and her body arched.

"C.J.?" Carol was concerned. She ran to C.J.'s side.

C.J. whined in pain and took a breath in through her nose.

"I'm fine." She waved Carol off and stood up. "I'm sure—ahhhh." C.J. winced. "Oh, god." She took a breath and her stature lowered by two inches. This was different. Something was wrong. "Call an ambulance." She said through gritted teeth.

Carol ran out.

"And call Danny–ahhh." She took three short breaths and sat herself down on her couch.

* * *

The Office of Dr. Gayle Travers O.B.G.Y.N

LA, California

* * *

C.J. and Danny sat in the doctor's office, holding hands, they looked nervous, particularly C.J. She looked as if she had been pulled into the principal's office. 

The doctor started to speak from behind her desk. "C.J., I'm concerned. We're gonna put you on medication for the early contractions, but I'm concerned about your blood pressure, it's not grave, but it's not great." She had this way of being kind and authoritative at the same time. She was a gorgeous black woman of C.J.'s age.

C.J. defended herself, "I'm doing everything you've told me to do. I've been eating right, doing yoga, listening to those relaxation tapes– they're driving Danny batty."

"Ahh, huh, " Danny commentedfeeling the pain of the tapes again.

C.J. looked at Danny concerned and terrified.

Danny took C.J.'s hand and gave her his most concerned loving look. He took a breath.

C.J. looked at the doctor. "I don't know what else I can do," she said with a squeal and concern in her voice.

"Cut out stress," the doctor said plainly.

"How can she do that?" Danny questioned, always the voice of reason and calm. "I mean, compared to what she's doing now?"

"I think she needs to take time off from work."

"No." C.J. wouldn't hear it. "I can't–"

"C.J.!" Danny turned toward his wife seeming to reprimand her.

"I don't need to." She let go of his hand.

Danny ran his hand over his face. He didn't know what to say or do. He leaned forward in his chair.

"C.J. you've always been a heathy woman," the doctor continued. "You've exercised, you've eaten well, and that's good, that's good right now... for you and the baby, but at _this_ age..."

C.J. rolled her head around at the comment.

Danny rubbed her arm and tried to get her eyes. They took hands again..

The doctor continued, "There are too many factors, you need to be careful of. Your history can only help you up to a _point._ Any pregnancy for a woman in her forties is high risk. I know it can sometimes get glamorized in the press– _I know _you're not one of those people who buys into all that, but you can't lull yourself into a sense of security on this."

"I run a major foundation, I can't just take a sabbatical, I have a job to do, people count on you."

"This baby is counting on you, C.J.," the doctor said plainly.

C.J. went pale.

* * *

Santa Monica, CA

The Home of Mr. and Mrs. Danny Concannon & Claudia Jean Cregg(-Concannon)

* * *

C.J. scanned her Blackberry. "I could goin maybe three days a week – work from home a couple–." She looked up from her chair in the living room. 

"C.J." Danny pleaded with her. "You can't go to work, C.J.– not at _all_, come on, here!"

"Danny!" she said with a great disdain.

"C.J., you have to face facts, you can't do all the things you could do before—"

"Like tie my shoe laces," she said dryly.

"Like work 'til all hours of the night." He had that concerned rasp in his voice.

"I don't do that anymore,"she defended herself. "I haven't done that since we moved here. My life is_ my number _one priority–" she demanded.

"I'm not saying that it_ isn't_---and I'm not sayin' you don't _care— _but, _C.J._... if the doctor says you need to stay home for two months for the baby, _you do it."_ He was amazed how she didn't see the severity of the situation.

"And do what?" She looked on the verge of tears, but keep that fighting strength. "Play charades and do mad libs!"

" I don't care, C.J.!" Danny was starting to really get upset. "_Finding_ something to _occupy_ your time shouldn't be your number one priority right _now_, _come on?" _He paused and caught her eyes. "You need to wake up, you need to _dig in_, this baby is _happening_, this baby is _coming_ —and we're not spring chickens _anymore_. You're not having this baby at 25—"

"You don't think I know that? You don't think it's not all staring me in the face,_ the statistics_, the doctors, the charts, the news coverage--- forty six and pregnant! Not the best stage to be in." She paused slightly. "I stay home and do _nothing_ for two months – that's _all_ I'll think about, Danny. With not even one day of something _substantial_, something to sink my teeth into--- Everyday, day in and day out. _Thinking_ it, until my stress level goes through the _roof._ All the nightmare scenarios that I've read—that by some _ounce..." _she showed how small with her fingers. "...of luck, I've been able to _keep _out of the dark _recesses_ of my brain." She paused. "It's all I think about Danny." Her tears flooded. Her voice had that guilty color, "And if I made the right decision to even have this baby in the first place, as much as, right now, I so desperately want it."

"This is _not_ an option, C.J. Come on!" He pleaded with her.

"Danny!"

"No!" He screamed. "No." He shook his head in disbelief. "You are _not_ going back to work.."

"Danny?" Her eyes popped open.

"No, this is it, I'm putting my foot down, here C.J." He seemed to be coming from some uneasy place of fear and anger. Something she hadn't seen in him in a long time. "This is _my_ child too and I want some say in the matter, here!" Danny saw it written on C.J.'s face, how he was going someplace they had never been before. He regained himself and took a breath. He walked in a circle and looked at his emotional wife. "If anything happened to you, C.J." He paused and tried not to cry. It held in like a dam wall bursting with leaks, "Or this child." He put his hand out toward her stomach. "I'd never forgive myself," his voice broke.

Danny shook his head. He leaned back against the arm of the couch.

C.J. saw the distress her husband was in. She sat up and walked to him on the couch. She leaned up against his side as much as she could.

Danny turned and his face was inches from hers.

"Danny what's wrong? Something else is going on here?"

"Every day this baby comes closer to being born, I can't help but feel guilty." His voice trailed off slowly and hushed.

C.J. looked at him. She didn't understand. She rested her hands on his shoulders.

"I see the way people look at me, your friends, Toby, even the President – that's great for them, but how could Danny put her in that situation, doesn't he know." He paused. "They look at you and they blame me," he nodded his head.

"We got into this together. I didn't get pregnant by myself," she said, flabbergasted.

"They blame me," he said coldly and straight. "And..." he trailed off. "I don't blame them. I blame me too."

"Danny," her voice cracked.

"The thought of losing you would kill me, but the thought of losing you and/or this child because I wasn't responsible." Danny lowered his head and gritted his teeth "'Cause I didn't think with my head and not with my..."

"Danny..." She took his face in her hands. Her eyes were wet with tears, as were Danny's. "I don't blame you."

Danny's cry came out like a spirt of emotion; one might have thought it was a laugh."That means a lot."

"Does it?"

"Yes." He looked her in the eye.

"It should be all that matters."

"I know," he shook his head, knowing it, but still feeling the pain. "I just get this overwhelming sense of fear." Danny couldn't look at her. C.J. tried to get his eyes and he finally took them.

C.J. took a moment and smiled, through her tears.

"Isn't this an interesting change of events," she smiled.

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, aren't you sweet," she smiled with a question mark answer. "Well, I do declare," she said in a joking tone. "Why Danny Concannon, you're scared."

"Are you _making_ fun of me?"

"No, no," she smiled. "It's just nice--to be the one comforting you for a change." She was now a little cocky. She ran her hands over the side of his beard. "Danny Concannon, you can never let me down." She took a breath and he smiled. "Never." She paused. "You're my husband... "

"And the father of our child..." Danny's eyes perked up.

"Well, that's debatable," she smiled.

"You're joking with me _now_? This is the time you choose to joke with me?" he smiled a little.

She took his hand and put it on her stomach. She paused and remembered what Danny had once told her. "We're gonna be good at a whole bunch of new things," she said.

He laughed.

She smiled at him. There was a small pause.

"I'll call Carol in the morning and have her tell Rachel to take all my appointments for..." She took a breath. "The next two months." She was ready to responsible for her actions.

Danny took her hand and swung it a little between them.

C.J. smiled at him with loving eyes.

"Now, all we have to do is find me something to do for the next two and a half months."

He ran his hands over his shoulders, "We'll figure it out." he smiled and nodded his head.

* * *

Later that night...

* * *

They laid in bed together that night. Dressed, but in each other's arms. 

"I'll need to call Frank in the morning and tell him what's going on,"C.J. looked out into the air.

Danny just stared at her.

There was a pause and C.J. smiled.

Danny smiled, looking at her gorgeous smile and his child growing inside of her.

She saw it. "What?"

"Hummm, nothing." he laughed. "Nothing..." His face was as glowing as the sun. He took her hand. "So, what are ya gonna do for two months?" he asked in his flirting way.

"Hey..." She looked at him with her surprised face. "Nice with the helping, there." She hit him hard on the arm.

"Oww." he joked and laughed. "I am." He smiled and leaned in toward her. "Whatta ya wanna do, C.J.?" He started to lightly stroke her arm above her wrist.

"Work." She laughed. "I don't know. Two months with nothing to do." She laughed again. "I could write my own biography." She spoke sarcastically.

There was a pause.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," he said in all seriousness

"Nooo." She looked at him.

"Why not?"

"No. No. I mean I... no..." she laughed. "I wasn't being—"

"_Why not,_ because you have _nothing_ to say? We both know that's _not _true."

She gave him a joking cross look, but smiled after a moment. "I wouldn't know where to start."

"You have two months, " he nodded his head. After a moment a huge smile came to his face.

"I'm not a writer."

"Yes, you are," he assured her firmly and sweetly. "You wrote those articles for Vanity Fair," his eye brows raised a little.

"That's not— no. No." She struggled for the words. "You, Sam and Toby. Not me."

"Yes, you," he said calmly.

C.J. looked flabbergasted.

"It's just another challenge, right?" He insinuated with his head, "Another set of new things."

"One of many," she said dryly and with a nod of her head. Her eyes were wide with the smile to her face.

"What else are you gonna do?" His fingers made their way to the top of her hand.

She smiled. "I did like that idea of Mad Libs, " she said dryly.

"I'll see what I can find," he joked in the most sincere way.

There was a silence while C.J. seem to mull it over in her head.

"Just try it. So, after two months it's no good, so what?" He paused. "Just something to occupy your brain, right?" He smirked and waited for a response from her.

She looked like she was still mulling it all over.

"The rest of the time I have my own ideas for."

"You would." She smiled and looked at him.

He gave her eyes.

There was a pause.

"So?"

She smiled and took a breath. "I'll try it," she said begrudgingly.

"Good. Good." He nodded his head and smiled. "You know..." He trailed off for a moment. "I'm, supposed to go to New Hampshire, next week, for the book, I can not go. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"No. No. I think that time means a lot to him. Abbey says he gets stir crazy sometimes."

"I could do it by phone, just this once."

"No, no." She took his hand. "Don't cancel it. It's just a few days. You can leave me for a few days." She laughed.

His face looked concerned.

"You can leave me, Danny," she said with confidence. "Breathe." She giggled.

"Yeah..." he laughed. They both were going to have to learn to ease up.

"I think your visits are important to him, right now."

"The occasional peace conference and house raising aren't enough?"

"It's important you go," she said sweet and firm. "For me, okay?"

"Okay, " he smiled. "Good. You wanna glass of water before we go to bed?"

"Yeah." She kissed him.

Danny smiled and stepped off the bed toward the kitchen.

C.J. smiled and watched her husband walk out of the room. She put her hand on her stomach.

"Well, little girl," she said with a smile. "Looks like we may just be jumping off another cliff after all."

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER 8**

_Dialogue Copyright 2006_


	9. Chapter 9: Our Wedding

On The Road With Danny Concannon: '05-'06

"_Our Wedding."_

**Companion Episode**: The Wedding.

* * *

February 3rd, 2007

Santa Monica, CA

* * *

Danny woke up pretty early, no stirring in the house, C.J. was still asleep. He started the coffee and poured himself a cup. Taking a sip, Danny moseyed his way slowly through the living room. The sun was coming in from the large picture window leading into the backyard. He moved aside the glass door and slid it into the other large glass window. Danny took a step into the entrance way.

Leaning against the doorframe, and taking a sip of his coffee, Danny looked out with a sense of calm onto his backyard. A soft breeze ran over him and the California sun hit his face. Danny was finally getting used to living in a place without seasons, living in California, feeling the warmth of the life well lived and his own type of early retirement. Some kind of domestic paradise, not perfect, not without strife, just his own little paradise: a home.

Another breeze blew through the yard, across the white chairs, the green and blue ribbons attached to them, and onto the pool. It was the set up for a small, modest California wedding. Soon it would be filled with people, a subtle arrangement of flowers, a priest, and most importantly his hand taking her hand, after seven or eight years of courtship, and just over one year of official togetherness, she would be his wife.

Just your normal wedding of an ex-White House reporter to an ex-White House Chief of Staff/Press Secretary. Throw in a former President, First Lady, Communications Director, a dog, a couple of children and a few red-headed Concannons and brunette and blond Creggs.

Danny smiled in his sweet way, memories flooded toward him, the sun burned a fresh morning orange, almost matching the red, almost a yellowish color now, on his face and the top of his head. Danny nodded his head to himself, how far they had come. He took a drink of his coffee. He smiled.

Danny walked back into his house, and closed the sliding door behind him. He opened up his office door and walked in. Soon his typing filled the house.

After finishing some work, and working out in the other room, Danny made his way down the hallway, past the foyer and into the living room.

He entered the kitchen to find C.J. sitting on the counter top, as she often did. She ate a few goldfish crackers from her hand. She still wasn't dressed, wearing a jersey knit short slip-like night gown.

"Hey," he smiled and opened the refrigerator.

"Hey." She took a sip of coffee from her red mug.

Danny took a water bottle out of the refrigerator and made his way to C.J. He placed the bottle down on the counter, next to her, and ran his hands over her legs.

"Good morning." Danny leaned in.

"Good morning," she said with a mouth half full of food. She took a gulp down and kissed him.

"Feel any different?" he asked rubbing his hands over her bare legs.

She shook her head, still chewing. "No."

"Yeah." Danny laughed. "Me either."

"I seriously doubt that." C.J. took the water bottle next to her, opened it, and handed it to Danny.

Danny smiled. He took the water bottle from her and raised his eyebrow. He took a step back and took a drink of his water.

C.J. took a breath and shook her head.

"Still not too late to back out. Go to off Mexico. Real quick. Very snappy." He grinned.

C.J. smiled a sly smile and sent her head to the left. "I'm good."

"Just checking" he smirked. Danny walked back over to her and ran his hands on her thighs again.

She ran her hands under his chin and kissed him for a longer stay.

Danny's phone rang.

Danny answered the phone, his left hand still on C.J.'s thigh. "Yeah, Danny... Hey Rob, yeah, hey." He moved his body so his back was to C.J. and her legs dangled near his waist.

She ran her hands around his neck and rested them on his chest.

"Ahh... yeah... no I'd love to meet with Random House."

C.J. rubbed Danny's left arm and gave him a light tap. That meant move.

Danny got out of C.J.'s way, letting his hand linger on her thigh as much as he could before she was completely out of his reach. Danny nodded his head and listened to the call.

"Ahhhh..." He looked over at C.J. as she poured herself another cup of coffee. "Today I really..." He laughed and looked down. "I know I could just get on a plane. Rob, Rob..." He laughed.

C.J. gave him a sly grin as she sat down, on a stool, at the center counter.

"I'm kinda getting married today," he laughed.

C.J. smirked in his direction.

"It's okay... yeah... no. Thank you. Why don't you see if they can see me next week. Yeah... sounds good." He laughed, "Thanks." Danny closed the phone and sat down at the corner next to C.J.

"Sure, you don't wanna go to New York. Real quick. Nice and snappy," she joked.

"I'm good." He leaned in and kissed her.

C.J. smiled her toothy smile.

Danny laughed.

* * *

LATER...

* * *

The noise of people in their living room and milling in their backyard could be heard even in Danny and C.J.'s bedroom at the back of the house.

Danny fixed his forest green tie in the mirror.

"Come here?" C.J. motioned to Danny with a flower and a pin in her hand. She wasn't dressed yet, only wearing a long white silk robe.

Danny walked over to her with a smile.

C.J. reached toward his lapel and started to attach the flower.

Danny took a breath,"I'm nervous all of a sudden. Why am I nervous? Are you nervous?"

C.J. grinned. "No."

"How is this possible?" he grinned.

C.J. finished what she was doing and looked back at the flower for a final look.

Danny ran his hands around her waist.

C.J. smiled.

"You're good? You were a little antsy this week."

"I'm good," she said repeating the same words she had told him that morning.

"Really?" He gave her a shake and chuckled in his way, his eyes gleamed and the lines around his eyes showed their true reason for being there.

"I was nervous about the thing. All these people in our house. I feel like I have to entertain everyone." She fixed his tie. "Do a magic trick," she said dryly.

Danny chuckled large and his head shook. "You don't have to be the hostess all the time—" he smiled. He put his hands out. "Small event. No big deal. That's what we said."

"Just a few secret service agents..."

"Just looking at those guys gives me odd flashbacks..." he grumbled.

"...a former president, _Toby..._" She let her hands off Danny's tie. It looked straight.

"Just you and me." He took her attention, "Look at me." He got her to look at him. "I wasn't kidding before. You don't like any of this. You don't feel comfortable, I send them all home. I turn this car around."

C.J. smiled.

Danny got serious, "I don't need a wedding. I just wanna be married. To you." He gave her a shake. "That's all I need."

"I know," she smiled. "I want _something_... I like our something." She took a breath and took a piece of lint of his jacket. "And with out sounding too girly..." She paused.

"You wanna wedding?" he smiled and laughed gleefully.

"Yeah." She took a confident attention. "I kinda do."

"Considering it's your only shot." He smiled.

"Well..." she smiled in a wily way. "We really have no proof of that."

Danny laughed his large laugh. The one when his head shakes and bounces a little and his eyes almost disappear.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," they said together.

They both laughed slightly at the moment.

Hogan, now a grown-up college-age woman, peaked her head in. "Ready for me?"

"Yeah, come in." C.J. smiled.

"I'm off." Danny kissed her and walked toward the door. "Oh, I'll be the one out there, all by myself." He smiled.

C.J. smiled at him.

"Ladies." He lowered his head a little and left.

* * *

LATER...

(In The Living Room)

* * *

"Danny." Toby reached his hand out to shake Danny's.

"Toby." They shook hands.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you," Danny said with a glint in his voice.

"How's she doing?"

"I think I'm the one to worry about." He slid his hand over the front of his jacket to smooth it down.

Toby laughed, looked to the side and smiled. "Okay."

Danny smiled and shook his head. He took a drink from the glass in his hand.

"C.J. told me no one's walking her down the aisle."

"She feels she's too old to be _given away_."

"I wouldn't mind being _given away_," Toby said with a smile.

Danny laughed and put his hands in his pockets. Danny looked down. "I think since her father can't be here, she just doesn't–"

"Yeah." Toby looked down. He looked up, "How's he doing?"

"Not so good."Danny nodded his head in all seriousness.

Toby took a breath, "Yeah."

"Yeah."

Toby and Danny took sight of President Bartlet on the other side of the room.

Toby casually looked away.

Danny caught it. He tried to ignore it.

Toby laughed and looked down at his drink. "Josh call?"

"Last night." Danny took a drink. "We did a conference call with Sam, him & Donna"

"That must have gone well?" Toby said to be sarcastic.

"Yeah..." Danny laughed. He took a drink.

"Excuse me, Gentleman." Abbey Bartlet approached.

"Mrs. Bartlet." Danny smiled, a little awkwardly.

"Danny." Abbey looked so proud.

Toby started to walk away.

Abbey got Toby's attention with out having to raise a finger or an eyebrow. "Please don't sneak away on my account. You have no reason to, Toby." She smiled.

"Yes, Ma'am." Toby turned his body back toward her.

"How are the kids?"Abbey asked Toby.

"They're great. Thank you." Toby felt awkward. "They're around here somewhere." Toby looked around.

"I think I saw them with my nephews." Danny looked around and then back at the group.

"Yeah." Toby nodded his head.

"Oh." Abbey smiled. She paused. "Danny." She turned to Danny. "Danny, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, " he said with a inquisitive tone.

"Excuse us, Toby." Abbey took Danny's arm and walked toward the corner of the room between Danny's office and the fireplace.

Danny moved his head toward Mrs. Bartlet with a question mark look. He figured something was about to be revealed.

"We have a little bit of a problem, Danny," she whispered.

"What type of .._.problem_?"

"Well..." She looked around. "Jed seems to have it in his huge egotistical head of his... that he should walk C.J. down the aisle. He seems to... have his heart set."

"C.J.'s said she doesn't want that."

"I know." She looked around again and pulled Danny into the corner next to the fireplace for more privacy. " And I've explained it to him, _many times, _that this is what C.J. wants—"

"But, he doesn't-"

"He's a very traditional man, Danny. You know that. The_ whole world _knows that. And it's not that he has a problem with..."

"–C.J. and I living in sin and getting married in a —"

"-California hippy wedding I think we're his exact words."

Danny laughed. "It is Catholic."

"It's just with C.J.'s father not here, I think he feels—"

"Yeah..."

"I think if C.J. talked to him, maybe—"

"Okay," he nodded his head.

"Thank you."

"No, problem." He said in his soft sweet voice.

"We also have... " She motioned toward Danny's office. "Can we?"

"Yeah." Danny set his drink on the fireplace mantel and put his arm out for Abbey to go in first. Danny walked in behind Abbey and closed the two folding doors. He turned and waited for her to speak first.

"It's not just—I mean it is just–it's yours and C.J.'s wedding you should do what you want. I really don't give a damn, but I have my own—"

"- altruistic reasons," he smiled and put his hands in his pockets.

She nodded her head She paused. "And I say this all off the record—"

"I'm really not-." Danny hated that his job made people trust him less. "But, yeah...okay–."

"Jed has his good days and his bad days and his _not so _good days. Today is one of those _not so _good days. Walking slowly is fine, in small spirts is_ fine-_-but walking down a long aisle holding onto a six foot tall woman next to him..." She paused. "You have a lot of reporter friends, Danny. A lot of them are here today. I don't want—"

"I understand."

"So will C.J." She paused. "I just wanted you and C.J. to know." She paused. "We have more than one reason to convince him." She paused. "But, we just can't make Jed know what the real reason is."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"We're sitting on the sun porch." Abbey walked toward the door. "Danny." She put her hand on Danny's chest. "Jed and I are so happy for the two of you. Really, we are. It pleases us, the two of you, to no end. We're glad the two of you have found such happiness."

"Thank you."

"We almost feel responsible, Jed and I." She smiled.

Danny laughed.

"We brought you two together in a way, but then it got delayed by like ten years," she said dryly. "But, you know... we just won't dwell on that part, will we..." It didn't sound so great she realized. "Okay." She patted where her hand had been. "Sappiness over." She took a step.

Danny opened the door for her.

Abbey walked out.

Danny smirked.

* * *

Danny knocked on the bedroom door.

"Who is it?" Hogan asked.

"Danny." He waited.

"Come in," C.J. yelled.

"No." Hogan yelled.

"Oh, please," C.J. was heard saying. The door opened and C.J. stood there, wearing a gorgeous frosted light green slip dress, a necklace Danny had given her for their first Christmas together, and her hair just framing her face.

"Wow," he said soft and slow. Not realizing how taken aback he would be.

C.J. leaned forward and closed the door half way, still holding onto the doorknob.

"Come to take me away, big boy," she joked, slipping her free hand over his chest.

"All in good time." He paused and took a breath. "We have a little, tiny of a... small..."

C.J.'s head turned to the side and leaned toward Danny slightly, not really wanting to hear this.

"... a ... problem." He gave her that look he did when he wanted her to know it would be alright.

* * *

"Mr. President," C.J. peered her head, sweetly, into the sun pouch, her grin huge, large and toothy.

"C.J." Bartlet's grin was huge.

C.J. walked toward him.

Bartlet sat on a chair on the other side of the small porch, the sun came in softly from the outside. He went to stand, but C.J. stopped him, by leaning in and hugging him. He kissed her on the cheek

They took hands and C.J. sat down across from Bartlet. She sat on the edge of the wicker furniture and leaned in.

Danny came in to the room silently and stood against the wall.

"Danny?" Bartlet looked up at him.

"Mr. President," he nodded his head with a professional smile.

Bartlet looked at C.J. "Should he be-oh yeah..." He looked at C.J. not wearing white. "Non-traditional." He smiled."I'm kidding. I'm kidding."

No one looked convinced.

"I was kidding."

Abbey walked into the room and shut the door.

"Why do I feel like I'm being ambushed, here."

"Sir?" C.J. asked.

"_C.J._" Bartlet said mocking her.

"Danny and I just feel...we want this to be as low key as possible, we're not-"

"Twenty five anymore—I know, I heard the whole speech from Abbey. She sent you... on your wedding day..._Abbey_." He looked at Abbey. "She sent you to speak to me? All of you?" He looked back at C.J. "Thinking if you talked me out of it I wouldn't be so adamant about falling flat on my face in front of much of the Washington and the National Press Corp..." he looked at Danny. "Thank you for that one, Danny."

Danny smiled and lowered his head, "No problem."

Bartlet took a moment, giving Danny a look. He took his focus back to C.J. He smiled and gripped her hands.

C.J. smiled and they had a moment.

"I just wanted to do this for you. You've done so much for me. Something to give you besides a silver chafing dish." He squeezed her hands.

"I could use a chafing dish," she smirked. "But, thank you." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm good." The catch phrase of the day.

Bartlet chuckled, "Okay."

"We're good?" C.J. checked in.

He let go of her hand. "Go, get married," he laughed. He leaned in and kissed C.J."What ever you want, Kid." Bartlet let go of her hands. "Okay."

C.J. stood, she walked toward Danny.

Abbey smiled at them and Jed, "Well, that was easy."

C.J. reached Danny and the door, and she and Danny exchanged silent looks.

C.J. opened the door, and Danny moved off the wall toward her.

"Danny, you stay," Bartlet said firmly.

Danny's head rose up for a moment.

He and C.J. exchanged looks. Funny looks.

"I spoke too soon."Abbey said dryly.

Everyone in the room knew what was about to happen.

Abbey and C.J. left the porch.

"Danny," Bartlet said in his deepest voice. "Sit." Jed looked out through the netting of the porch onto the people in the backyard.

"Yes, Sir." Danny sat down in the chair once occupied by C.J.

"You know I see C.J. like my own family. I feel that strongly about her. Especially, since her father can't be here... today..."

"Yes, Sir."

Bartlet looked at Danny and looked away for a moment. He laughed. "I feel like_ this _really isn't necessary, between us, we've known each other for so long, already. But, we really haven't had a real talk for a long time now, have we Danny?"

"No, Sir." He nodded his head.

"Those were great times. On the campaign. Flying by the seat of our pants. We had some fun when you joined us on the plane."

"Yes, Sir." There was a pause.

"You went to Notre Dame– you come from a good family—"

"Are you asking me my intentions toward, C.J., Sir?" he smirked and trued not to laugh.

"Well... I was going to in a proper gentlemanly... way... I wouldn't—"

"I make a good living, Sir–" he joked. "If you're worried about–"

"I'm not asking if you can take care of her, _Danny._ I think the real answer is I think_ she'll_ be the one taking care of you."

"Yes." He laughed and nodded his head. "Which is pretty sweet on my part." He smiled at Bartlet.

Bartlet gave him a look. He didn't think it was funny.

"Sorry, Sir."

"This is a thing men do, Danny. You and I. You're marrying C.J. today- This is what I do. I need some sense of purpose here. Cut me some slack."

"Sorry, Sir." He looked at the President. "A little too much free time on your hands, Sir?" he smiled.

Bartlet gave Danny a bad look.

"A joke. It was a joke." This wasn't going so well, so far.

"See that it was."

" Sorry. Sorry." Danny put his hands out with a sorry gesture.

They sat in silence for a moment.

"When I had this little talk with Vic he said the third date." He looked at Danny. "When did you know?"

Danny looked at the President and his eyes filled with sincere emotions.

Jed saw how strong it was.

"From the first moment I saw her," he said softly.

"Good answer." Bartlet put his hand on Danny's shoulder. "You're a good man, Danny"

"Well, thank you, Sir. I'm flattered." Danny wasn't sure how to take the compliment. He was never good at that.

"We'll just forget all the bad things you wrote about me." Jed said with a glint in his eye.

There was a slight pause.

"Danny? Why are you getting married? You don't have to. Why now?"

"I just... like the idea of her being my wife." He gave that look in his face as if he was shrugging his shoulders, but he wasn't.

Bartlet nodded his head. He paused. "You don't want a family, Danny?"

"I want her."

Bartlet let the line linger in the air. He nodded his head, "Yeah." Bartlet took a moment. "Well, you better go get married, son."

Danny stood.

"We're not worthy, Danny. Why these woman agree to marry guys like us, I'll never know."

"Yes, Sir." Danny smiled.

"I'm just some math geek from New Hampshire with a penchant for Latin who got lucky."

Danny laughed. "An ex- tech geek, from Michigan, with a police scanner."

The President laughed, "Go get married, Danny."

"Thank you, Sir." Danny held in a little laugh and walked toward the door.

"Danny?"

Danny turned toward Bartlet.

"A scanner?"

"Yes, Sir," he laughed and lowered his head for a moment.

"You were like Vice President of your high school audio visual club weren't you, Danny?

Danny was shocked he got it right. "How did you—did C.J.-?"

"Because motivated over-achievers like us hardly ever come in first." He paused. "Where's the President of your high school audio visual club, now Danny?"

"Good point." He put his hands in his pockets.

"See ya out there, Danny."

"Yes, Sir." Danny left the room.

The President took hold of his cane and looked out on the goings on. He caught site of Toby for a moment. He looked away.

* * *

LATER...

* * *

Danny walked across the green lawn, he looked at his watch, almost time. People congratulated him as he went, taking him aside. He smiled and shook hands. Huck ran by and slammed right into Danny's legs.

"Whoa—" he laughed, taking the boy by the arms.

Huck laughed and ran off.

One of Danny's young nephews followed suit.

Danny smiled and watched the kids run off and play.

"Hey, Danny." Charlie shook Danny's hand.

"Hey, Charlie."

"I'm sorry to do this man, on your day of days, after finally, after like a _decade,_ getting C.J. to agree to marry you, but I have one Mr. Josh Lyman on my phone for you, and as much as I've told him he has the wrong number he insists on talking to you."

"Okay," Danny laughed and took the phone. "Josh?"

"You didn't answer your phone?" Josh asked in his wicked way.

"I don't have it on me," he smirked.

"I wanted to wish you a congrats. You know. Man to man. Without the woman folk around," he joked." Donna's in Russia on this good will tour, Sam and I have this whole immigration thing. Vinick's up our ass about Kazakhstan."

"Duty calls—"

"I kinda feel like I'm the reason you guys are together, I should be there."

"Really?" Danny smirked.

"God, C.J.'s getting married, I thought, you know...we'd balance the budget before that happened."

"You should be sure to tell her that the next time you talk to her," Danny laughed.

"So, Bartlet and Toby lock eyes yet?"

"Across a crowed room..."

"C.J. trying to play match maker?"

"I think C.J.'s just tryin' to have everyone in a room she cares about."

"Yeah..." he paused.

"We just wish we could be there."

"Just get something done, okay."

"Without you here you'd be amazed what I can get done," he joked.

"Goodbye, Josh.." Danny closed the phone. "Charlie!" he shouted.

Charlie turned around.

Danny threw him the phone and Charlie caught it.

The two men showed thank you smiles.

A man came up to Danny and hit him on the shoulder.

"Ready?" Danny asked.

The man nodded his head.

Danny clapped his hands together for a moment and grinned large. He walked up to C.J. and took her hand. She was with a group of people, including Danny's sister. Her head turned at the touch of Danny's hand in hers.

Danny smiled, his other hand in his pocket.

She smiled back.

Showtime.

Someone made an announcement for everyone to take their seats.

Danny took C.J.'s hand and led her along the seats and the pool.

"Don't fall in," he joked with her. He placed his other hand over her hand for a moment.

C.J. laughed and hit Danny on the arm with her free hand.

As they cleared the pool and took a left, Hogan handed C.J. a bunch of small flowers.

C.J. smiled as she took them.

Finally they were in front of the group, under a small white gazebo-like thing, next to a large tree, in the middle of the backyard.

A breeze came through the air, it was quite lovely.

They smiled at the priest, who smiled back.

"Okay?" the priest asked.

"Yeah," Danny said.

"Yes," smiled C.J.

"Let's begin then," the priest said.

C.J. and Danny exchanged gleeful glances at each other. This was it. Here it was.

Danny raised his eyebrow a little at her.

C.J. wobbled her head with her sly grin. Her grin soon became toothy and large.

"We gather together today to bring together in holy wedded matrimony Claudia Jean Cregg, daughter of Talmudge and Kathleen. And Daniel Patrick Concannon, son of Thomas and Kathryn. Danny and C.J. wanted their parents mentioned in this service because they couldn't be here today. They are here in spirit and in the eyes of their children."

The priest gave blessings followed by a reading of a short Bible passage and a homily, a short speech.

Then it was time for the vows and the rings. "Do we have the rings?" the priest asked.

Toby pushed Huck forward with Danny's ring.

C.J. turned around and handed Hogan her flowers.

"Repeat after me," the priest said to Danny.

"With this ring..."

"With this ring," Danny repeated.

"I thee wed."

"I thee wed." Danny 's voice was filled with emotion as he slipped the ring on C.J.'s finger.

C.J. took a huge breath and sighed.

"C.J.?" the priest said.

Hogan handed C.J. her ring.

"With this ring–" the priest said.

"With this ring–" C.J. repeated. She took a breath.

"I thee wed."

"I three wed." And she slipped the ring on Danny's finger, taking his hand in hers – the same hand she had watched him hit the keys of his keyboard with a million times before, write her words on his small notebook with, and caress her hair with as he reached behind her head to pull her in for a kiss.

She should have known it, she should have guested it, that he would be the man who did her in, so to speak.

C.J. got choked up. She didn't think she would.

Her reaction made Danny get a little misty.

They smiled and laughed.

Another prayer and blessing was made and finally the moment came.

The priest gave a huge smile, "I now pronounce you husband and wife."

They laughed.

"Danny, kiss your bride."

C.J. laughed through her tears.

Danny smiled huge, he chuckled and nodded his head as he reached his hands to her face, kissing her with a sweet passion.

The people applauded and stood. Toby whistled with his two fingers.

"Ladies and gentleman, I introduce to you, for the first time, Mr. & Mrs. Daniel and Claudia Jean Cregg -Concannon."

Danny squeezed her hand. "No need to change the monogram," he joked softly, inches from her face.

"Don't joke now," she said sincerely.

"Okay," he said with all seriousness. He kissed her again.

* * *

LATER...

* * *

The song playing was, _Tom Petty's American Girl_.

The music played on. People danced by the pool. And people lingered inside and out.

Toby, standing alone, with a drink in his hand, watched his children playing off to the side. He moved his eyes to the forefront and caught site of Former President Bartlet. Toby turned the focus of his eyes away. He took a drink from the glass in his hand.

After a moment Toby heard an all too familiar voice.

"I'm surprised you didn't just run to the other side of the house."

"I'm watching my kids," Toby said not looking at him. He spoke softly.

"Ahh..." Jed looked out.

Toby took a drink.

"They've grown up so fast."

"Yeah..."

There was a silence.

"Nice service."

"Short."

"It wasn't about the service anyway."

"Nice speech... But then, you're good at that." Jed took a drink. He looked over at C.J. dancing with Danny. "She looks happy," Jed remarked.

"She is." Toby looked into his drink. He looked up.

"Are you implying working for me didn't make her 100 percent happy?" One wasn't sure if Bartlet was kidding or not.

"No." He paused. "Working for you made her very happy." He paused. "It was...our _pleasure, _Sir."

"Yeah..." Jed didn't know what to do. "C.J. told me about your brother. She told me about David. I'm sorry, Toby."

"Thank you." He paused. "It's still no excuse, Sir."

The men still didn't look at each other, looking straight ahead.

"No." Jed paused. "It isn't." He paused. "I just wanted you to know."

"You know?"

"Yes."

"So, Columbia?" he asked with a real sincerity.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Well... I think that's good for you." He paused and smiled. "Nice to... see you, Toby." The President lowered his head and walked off.

"You too, Sir." Toby moved his head after he spoke.

The men caught eyes. It was a start.

Bartlet nodded his head.

C.J. saw the whole thing. She smiled as Bartlet walked away. After a moment she walked up behind Toby.

_Don't get Me Wrong_ by the Predators came over the speakers. A song from C.J.'s youth.

"Hey, stranger," she said with a fun spirit. She ran her hand over his shoulder. "Wanna dance?"

"I don't dance with married women."

"Really? Is this your policy?" She smirked. "Policies are made to be broken." She ran her hand over his shoulder and put her hand out.

Toby smiled and raised his eyebrow. He took her hand and she pulled him toward the dance floor, dropping his drink in Carol's hand as he passed.

* * *

LATER...

* * *

Later in the house, Toby took hold of his son on one hip. He caught site of C.J. and Danny sitting off in a corner, on two chairs, by the basement door and a book case, their hands intermixing and playful.

C.J. laughed her toothy laugh. Danny had obviously made some kind of joke.

Toby smiled. He took a breath.

He watched Molly go up to C.J. and say something. C.J. lowered herself to talk to the girl. C.J. looked up at Toby and smiled. Soon C.J. was following Molly toward her father.

"So, I heard Frank Hollis gave you and Danny a boat? Toby asked flabbergasted. He laughed.

C.J. moved her head with a little embarrassment. "We're giving it back."

Toby chuckled.

"You flying back in the morning?"

"Yeah." He motioned to Huck. "Say goodbye to C.J."

Huck grumbled asleep on Toby shoulder.

C.J. laughed, "It's okay."

They shared a moment. They just didn't see each other as much as they would have liked.

Toby leaned in and kissed C.J. on the cheek.

C.J. smiled. "Bye," she said and she kissed Toby on the cheek.

Toby smiled sweetly and he took Molly's hand.

C.J. watched him leave.

Toby looked back one last time before falling in with a few more leaving guests.

C.J. let out a sigh. She felt uneasy for a moment. She knew it would be a while until she saw him again.

Danny came up behind her and put his arm around her.

"I should visit Toby more," C.J. remarked.

"You should," he said kissing her neck.

"I'll call Carol tomorrow and find a hole in my schedule."

"We go to Napa tomorrow." Danny took her hand and turned C.J. to face him.

"Well, you know..." she sighed.

"You feel any different?" Danny joked.

C.J. gave him an off center grin. He put his arm out for her and they walked off into the living room

* * *

Later that night C.J. and Danny laid together on their bed, both fully dressed, both looking so tired they might just pass out. They played with each other's hands and fingers.

"Just say it," he said with his huge joking head. "For me?" he begged.

"Claudia Concannon," she said to him with a huge smile. She couldn't not laugh.

"That's it," he laughed and took her lips in a huge kiss. "I just wanted to hear it once."

"It doesn't have to be the last time."

"You don't have to use it. You know, I'm not that kinda a guy."

"I know," she said softly. She took his hand in hers more tightly and moved it around playfully.

Danny's eyes glinted.

"Maybe I'll use it as my secret identity," she sighed.

Danny laughed, "For deep cover."

"And crank calls and credit cards."

Danny laughed. "Come here?" he put his hand under her chin and kissed her.

C.J. nestled her head into his chest.

He put his arm around her.

There was a pause while the day ran through their heads and they just wallowed in the feel and smell of each other. The deep breath of just lying next to each other.

Finally C.J. spoke. She looked up at the ceiling, looking at nothing it would seem. "It doesn't feel any different." She was almost in a haze as if she had been expecting to feel different in some way.

"No..." he said softly, equally surprised himself. "It doesn't." He kissed the top of her head.

* * *

**THE END OF CHAPTER NINE**


	10. Chapter 10: Reciprocal Love

**On The Road With Danny Concannon: '05-'06**

"_Reciprocal Love"_

**Episode**: Running Mates

* * *

_Made my bed, now I'm gonna lie in it. _

_If you don't come, I'm sure gonna die in it_

_Too late. Too much given_

_I've seen a lot of life and I'm damn sick of livin' it_

_I keep hopin' that you will pass my way_

_And some day if your dreams are leavin' you I'll still believe in you..._

**Tomorrow Is Today William Joel

* * *

**

**A week before the Vice Presidential debates**

**Washington, DC**

**(Late September)**

* * *

Josh Lyman, his huge sunglasses on his huge headed face, made his way down the stairs of Toby Ziegler's brownstone. He held his backpack on his left shoulder and looked to his right as he hit the last step. He should have looked to his left first. 

"Hey, Josh." Danny leaned against the side of the stoop, on the metal railing. He had a serious look on his face, his own sunglasses gleaming against the September Washington sun.

Danny tried not to look caught. "Hey, Danny... hey, I was just..." he said trying to act nonchalant, which was very hard for Josh. He just looked like a fish with his gaping mouth open, looking for the right words, or some air.

"Walk with me, won't ya?" Danny handed Josh a coffee from his hand without looking at him. "I got you coffee."

"I was just, you know..." His voice went up about five octaves. "Danny?" He acted his own sense of fake surprise.

"Walk with me, Josh." Danny still didn't look in Josh's direction. Danny just waited for Josh to take the coffee from his hand. He knew how much control he had over this particular situation.

A cool fall wind rustled through the trees.

Josh took the coffee and Danny gave Josh a small look out of the corner of his sunglasses.

The two started down the tree lined street.

There was a moment of silence while Josh, looking like he knew he'd been caught, waited for Danny to talk, but he didn't. Josh took a drink of his coffee. He looked at the drink. "This is hot, how long have you been here?"

"How long you been visitin' Toby, Josh?" Danny asked and took a drink of his own coffee.

"Toby...does Toby live there? Ya know I got..." He saw Danny's face. He was caught. "How long have you've known?"

"A little over two weeks." Danny took a sip of his own coffee.

Josh got deflated, he looked around. "Yeah, about that long..." he droned off like a little boy who just got his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Yeah," Danny confirmed.

"You're not gonna write about it, are you?"

Danny paused before speaking. "No."

Josh was relieved.

"But, you gotta keep watch, Josh. If I found out, someone's gonna find you–someone else will."

"Yeah." Josh paused at a small clearing. It was still part of the pathway, but it led into a few benches and people playing chess. "This has nothing to do with the campaign... I mean come on—I'm just—"

"You think I don't know that!" Danny tore his glasses off and faced Josh.

"I'm visiting a friend."

"Yeah." Danny knew this was a terrible position Josh was in, it wasn't fair.

Josh was irate. "A man who's been nothing but a _good friend _to the Democratic Party for more time than he was ever radioactive."

"Josh." He paused as he got Josh's attention. "I know," he droned out to prove his point.

"Sorry."

"It's all good," he gestured with his hand out.

Josh sat himself down on one of the benches. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Danny sat down next to him.

"No, I mean for not..."

"You're welcome, again." Danny paused. "I can't write that crap, anymore." He paused. "You're just gonna have to find another way to talk to Toby, if you wanna talk."

"I start debate prep soon, anyway." Josh leaned over and took a drink from his coffee.

"Just don't do it in person, okay." Danny took a drink of his coffee.

"Why you helping me?" Josh asked with his boyish, joshing, huge grin, his head bobbing.

"I'm not helping you. I get fired from my job for helpin' you."

"Not so likely anymore," Josh smiled and took a drink of his coffee. "This is bad coffee."

"I'm just giving you the heads up. I'm doin' my _moral _duty as a friend." Danny looked off into the distance. "I'm tryin' to be heroic here." He got defensive as if he wasn't being appreciated.

"You're an upstanding guy, okay," Josh sensed something in his friend.

"Thank you," Danny grumbled.

Josh paused before speaking."What's going on with you?"

"Same old, same old. Just a little more _old _than usual."

"I saw you're doing a bunch of House races. The big show doesn't interest you anymore?"

"I don't know." He looked at Josh. "I thought maybe there was some dignity still left in grass roots politics."

"In the House?."

"Yeah...I know..." Danny laughed it off and leaned forward.

A cool breeze came in again and a few leaves blew past the men.

"I don't know..." Danny continued on. "I'm just getting to that point, ya know? I just don't care so much." Danny took a drink.

"We're in politics. No one's happy in politics."

"I'm not in politics. I just write about 'um." He paused. "If you guys actually did something worth writing about." He looked at Josh. "Don't you ever look at what you're doing and wonder if it's the same damn business you started out in? You look around and everything's changed, the landscapes the same, but the shape of the beach is just a little off."

"_Internal_ corrosion."

"Yeah."

"It just looks like that from the inside. News flash, Danny, it's always been that way--- we've just been in it for so long—"

"It gives you a headache?" Danny looked up at Josh, finishing his sentence.

"Something like that." Josh paused. "So, shake it up. No one did that better then you. That's what we use to hate you for." He took a drink of his coffee.

"I don't think it's that easy anymore." He looked away.

"Danny, what's going on with you? You okay?"

"I'm thinkin' – I've been thinkin'." He paused. "I don't know... for the first time in my life I know what I don't wanna do, but I have no idea what I do wanna do." He paused and looked at Josh, looked away for a moment, and then looked up. He spoke softly. "I miss her." He was kinda shocked and embarrassed he said the words in front of Josh.

Josh put his hand on Danny's shoulder for a moment. He empathized in the silence.

Danny nodded his head, he appreciated the gesture.

"You should call her." Josh said without a notion to the consequences.

"She doesn't take my calls."

"Come on, you're _persistent_– she's a busy woman. I saw her duck your calls thousands a' time." He took a drink of his coffee.

"Thanks, man."

"I'm just _sayin_' you'll get back in there. You always do." He paused. "Call her." He paused again. "I know you've been doin' it anyway. You're just a little low right now."

"I'm not low." He paused. "I'm in a rut, that's all. I'm looking for a new direction."

"It's getting to be that time, Danny." He smiled over at Danny. "But, hey, you know that, right? If you still feel this way about her–you gotta have known this--you'd be back." He turned his body and leaned his arm against the back of the bench. "In a few months she's gonna be gettin' job offers, if she's not already getting' 'um and the next thing you know she'll pick up and move back to California or wherever, and she's gone. I mean gone. _She's gone_."

"You sayin' my window is gettin' smaller?"

Josh leaned in. "What ever it is you're thinkin' about doin', just do it. Call her. You miss her. _Call her_. Whatever it is you're thinkin', just do it." He paused and took a drink. "Time's short."

"You don't think I know that?" he demanded, but Josh talked over him.

"And that window is getting smaller for you guys for more reasons than term limits. We're all not gettin' any younger." He sent an evil friendly glare at Danny. "Especially you."

Danny raised his eyes up to Josh, not knowing what to make of it. "Thanks for the pep talk."

"What ya thinking, come on?"

Danny took a breath, "Yeah, I have an idea." He paused. He smiled for a moment. "But it feels stupid." He paused. "I know what it is. It's a little... it's like you said, incrementalism is not an option." He played with his fist in his palm. "Not anymore."

"Now is the time, man." Josh's voice was a happy rasp. "Whatever you're thinkin', just do it," he said the last line with a release of air.

"Yeah." Danny paused. "How is she? You talk to her at all?"

"I don't see her too much."

"How's she taking Toby?"

"I don't know. But, I'd assume not good. She needs a distraction." He looked at Danny with a glaring eye.

There was a moment of silence between the two of them.

"Listen, Danny. There's a rumor out there..."

Danny looked at Josh. "I had a breakdown?" He shook his head and laughed. "I didn't have a breakdown." Danny shook his head. "I... I... passed out from exhaustion--I wasn't sleeping. I took a few naps-- they pumped me full of fluids, I'm fine." His voice got raspy, "I did _not _have a breakdown." Danny was pretty sick of the gossip in this town. "You of all people should know how this town gets."

"Yeah."

"The rumors fly so much in this place it's a miracle the truth gets published at all."

"Yeah." Josh paused. "You okay, now?"

"I'm fine." He paused. "That was over twenty pounds and seven months ago. I'm fine. I'm good."

"Good."

"But, thanks," he looked at Josh.

Josh just looked at him.

Danny laughed, "Don't worry, I'm eating better, I'm exercising, I make sure to hydrate." He smiled huge.

"Well, you look good."

"Thanks," he laughed.

"Anytime."

"I'd keep an eye on yourself, there, Josh." Danny smirked. "The road is never a man's best friend."

Josh's phone rang. "Sorry." He took the phone to his ear. "Yeah. Josh Lyman." He paused. "NO!" Josh yelled. He stood and took a few steps. "We're not doing that anymore. NO! NO! Put on Lou, put on _Lou_." He waited impatiently for less than a second. "Hello, yeah, what the hell?"

"Josh." Danny stood and started to motion toward the other direction.

"Yeah, hold on." He put his hand over his phone. "Listen, Danny..." He didn't know what to say. "Thanks."

"No problem," he said sheepishly.

"No, really–thanks."

"Think of it as my _contribution _to the Democratic Party." He smirked, "You're gonna need it." Danny put his sun glasses back on his head. He started to walk away, but Josh stopped him.

"Danny!"

Danny turned his head.

"And good luck with your thing... both your things."

Danny nodded his head and walked off. He slowly disappeared into the foreground

* * *

**A Year Later**

**10:15 PM**

**The Home Of Danny Concannon and C.J. Cregg**

**Santa Monica, CA**

* * *

C.J. walked into the small, narrow dining room off the foyer. It was dark, she was dressed for bed, she put her hand on the doorframe and looked at Danny. 

Danny just sat there, in the dark, the glow of his laptop screen illuminating his face. Only, his gaze wasn't on the screen. He just looked off, dazed, out the window.

"You comin' to bed?" she asked peacefully.

"Yeah...yeah..." he said, moving his focus toward her. "In a minute. I'll be right there."

"Come to bed, Danny," she beckoned to him.

"After I finish this thought..." he assured her.

C.J. smiled a small sly smile. She moved from the doorframe. Something made her look back. She saw an image she had been seeing a lot lately.

Danny just looked at the screen. He looked in a sense of flux. He ran his hand over his face and up over his head for a moment.

What she didn't know, but could feel, was Danny couldn't think of anything to write.

Danny had his joy, but he still didn't have his faith completely back yet. His faith for anything beyond her.

It was a steady stream of malaise that had begun months before, and that came to a climax with the snap of the final straw. The straw named Doug Weston.

* * *

**PRESENT **

**(2005)**

**September 29th

* * *

**

Danny sat in his office, alone; it was dark. Maisy walked into the room.

"I thought you were in New Hampshire?"

"Change of plans," he said in a soft slow rasp. He looked at her. "I thought you had class tonight?"

"I left my book. What happened to Doug Weston? You done, already?"

"Change of plans," he spoke slowly. "Change of plans."

Danny kept on typing. He had to type. He had things to do. He'd find the joy in it. There still was a glimmer of the joy. There just maybe wasn't as much of a passion. Danny's faith in political journalism was finally broken. Doug Weston took care of that. Without his faith, who was he, he thought. Without being a reporter, who was he, he bemused. Without his work, who would love him back?

* * *

**September 2006**

_(A year later)_

_The Home of Danny Concannon and C.J. Cregg_

_Santa Monica, CA_

_

* * *

_Danny walked into his home having just come from the airport. Another few days of interviews and talk show appearances in DC, the life of a semi-famous talking head celebrity. He dropped his overnight bag on the floor 

Danny closed the door, his tie untied around his neck, and his keys in his right hand. The door shut with a bang.

"C.J.?" he yelled dropping his keys on a table next to the door. He saw some mail and started to sift through it.

"Hey," C.J. appeared, in a chipper mood, at the foot of the small stairs into the living room. She was dressed in shorts and a light blouse that revealed a bathing suit top underneath.

"Where's the dog?" Danny asked, taking a few steps down the small stairs and closer to his gorgeous fiancé. He kissed her and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Hiding under the bed," she said with an off center smile as if it was a common thing these days.

"Oh." He looked in her eyes.

C.J.'s eyes gleamed and her smile was huge.

"What?"

"What?" she chuckled.

"You have that look?"

"What look?" she smiled gleefully.

Danny chuckled his words, "That... something..."

"Come with me." She took his hand and motioned to Danny's right with her head.

"Okay." Danny would go anywhere she led.

"Cover you eyes," she told him.

"C.J.?" he questioned, but did as he was told.

C.J. directed him toward what he was sure was a wall.

"Open," she said.

Danny lifted his hands off his eyes. He was in what looked like an office.

The entire left wall was now a desk with drawers, a fax machine and a printer, along with a desk chair. On the other wall were two small desks and a few file cabinets. Gail's fish bowl sat on a high shelf.

"What is this? What...what did you do?" He looked it over. Danny was in a room that had once been a small area of the living room. A wall had been added with a door and another door on the other side, leading into the hallway toward their bedroom.

"I had it done while you were away. See..." she walked to the other end of the room. "A second door," she ran her hand over the doorway. "I know how you like to hear everything in the place when you work."

"Cubical writing," he chuckled. All those years in the White House brought habits.

"This way you won't miss anything." She leaned against the doorframe. "Not to mention easy access to the rest of the house." She smiled. "But, they close." She moved side to side the two, shutter like doors that were folded in the doorway.

"You did this, all this... for me?"

"It took a lot of planning, but I figured it out," she giggle with her toothy smile.

"This is so sweet." He paused looking for the words. "Really, it is..."

"Danny..." she sensed where he was going and she tried to stop it, but she was interrupted.

"I don't need an office," his shoulders shrugged a little.

"You do." She was firm.

"I'm fine with just my laptop, really. I was never one for having an office, anyway. Too much time on the road, I guess." He paused. His voice was sweet and guilty. "You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble."

"Danny, you need this." She walked closer to him. "You_ need _this office," she said firmly. "You _need_ to write." Her eyes were sure. " I thought having a place to write might get you out of this rut, you've been in."

"I am... _I write_," he defended himself.

"_No, you're not_." She paused briefly. "You left your laptop in the living room."

"I just forgot it, that's all–I..." Danny didn't finish the sentence. He tried to and didn't. He turned around and gave C.J. his back.

"I see you going through something Danny. We used to talk about it in DC. You've just been keeping it inside, since we've been here. Talk to me now." She walked closer to him. "I know it's hard for you, figuring out your life, right now. But, you want to be a part of my life–I wanna be a part of yours. _Talk _to me, Danny. I'm not dumb. Danny, we share a bed, I know something's going on with you. I'm asking you to share it with me. That's all I'm asking."

Danny turned and looked at her.

"Let me be there for you." She paused. "Like you are for me." She smiled. "A little pay back."

"I'll find it again." He nodded his hand slightly. He took her hands.

"I have no doubt," she encouraged him with her directness.

"I look at the screen and it feels like there's... nothing I have to say that anyone would wanna read." He paused and chuckled, "Funny, huh?"

"You've made a living on showing people what they wanna read." She ran her hands over his chest.

"I can't write that crap anymore," he grumbled.

"You never really did, Danny."

"You told me Mandy's memo was crap."

"Because it _affected _me and my boss." She squealed. "And how everyone I worked with _looked_ at me, of course I thought it was _crap_!" She gestured with her hands.

"Can we not have this argument right now, it's like twenty years and two days behind us."

"Yes, please," she grumbled.

"Okay, you were right, journalism is not what it used to be. You were right," Danny exclaimed to her.

"It was never what it 'used to be'."

"Thanks," Danny grumbled sarcastically.

"That does not mean you roll up in a ball and die, Danny."

"I am not doing that! And you know making fun of me is not a real motivator."

"It worked before," she teased forcefully.

"Yeah, well..." he gestured a little with his head. "I had other motivations and goals." He smirked. He paused. "Do I believe everyone in journalism is completely void of feeling, like you do? No."

"I never said that—"

"No, but you were thinking it." He paused and looked directly at her. "Truth is I'm a little fed up, and a little _not_. And I'm a little fine and I'm a_ little_ not so fine about it." He paused and smiled. "Can't I just be content right now--living out my _early retirement _years with you," he tried to lighten things up.

"Danny?" she said sincerely. "Do you think by saying you miss writing,_ you're _going to make me think you're _not_ happy here? I know you're happy here. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about your faith. I'm talking about finishing that conversation we started in DC."

Danny took a slow pace around the room for a moment.

"I just spent two days this week talking on Chris Matthews and _Meet the Press _about the standards in this country."

C.J. nodded her head. She let him rant on.

"I read more and more about all the stuff I didn't want to write about— all the _reasons _I came out here with you. To start over. Be my own boss and I feel just as lost." He sat on the edge of the long desk and looked out at her. He noticed the room more. "You put this all together?" He paused. "You put this together for me?"

"Yeah." She sat down on the edge of the desk with him.

"And here I thought I did all the heavy lifting in this relationship," he smirked at her.

She smiled back, "Well, in this case I paid people to do all the heavy lifting." She took his eyes in a sincere way. "You have this_ incredible _talent, Danny. I wish I was half as talented as you are at what you do." She smiled. "And I'd _kill_ myself if I let those people make you waste it away."

"You gonna love me less if the new headline tomorrow is 'Danny Concannon has lack of talent'?"

"I think if the headline in tomorrow's paper is 'Danny Concannon has a lack of talent' we have bigger problems."

Danny and C.J. smiled.

She continued talking. "I made you this_ thing_— well a few carpenters from Orange County, made you this thing... so you can_ focus_. Jump start whatever it is you need jump started." She sighed. "Have this little intervention, we're havin' here." She took a piece of lint off his shirt.

He smiled and laughed.

"I want you to succeed and I want you to be happy..." she said with the most sincerity she could muster.

"I am happy." And he meant it.

"I know you have your joy, Danny."

"You gave me that." He paused feeling the emotion. "You reminded me who I was."

"Well..." She paused. "You gave me back my faith, too." She paused. "I didn't think I'd get mine back." She smiled. "That's what you gave me." She ran her hand under his chin and off the side of his face.

"I love my work."

"I know."

Danny moved his face along her hand for a moment. He sighed. "I don't know what to write." He looked her in the eye.

"I think you do." She put her fingers on his heart. She tossed her head and gave him a serious smirk. "Stand up, Daniel. Shake it up. Do what you do." Her eyes glittered. "Do that voodoo that you do so well," she said dryly.

Danny laughed.

"I have faith in you, Danny Concannon."

They shared a moment with their eyes together.

Danny nodded his head.

* * *

**THE PRESENT**

The Office of Danny Concannon

The Washington Post Offices

**Sunday, October 1st 2005

* * *

**

The sound of typing. The sound of sweet music, that's what it was. It was Sunday, Danny had the Vice Presidential debate on in the background. He guessed his email from Annabeth was a ruse because Leo seemed to be kicking some serious ass. But, it did get him a front page above the fold article, so be it. For Leo's shake, an old friend, he was glad it was untrue.

Danny typed furiously on his laptop. His door was open, as it often was -- he liked the noise of the press room, of any room. Feeling the energy made him feel not so alone, the outside energy fed him, enriched the muses.

"Danny?" a familiar voice was heard.

Danny turned his head. "Phil?"

Phil, an old friend of Danny's, stood in the doorway. Phil was a very tall, large man -- standing six two -- in his late fifties, now with a full head of grey hair. It had been a long time since they saw each other.

Danny stood and walked to the door.

They shook hands

Phil spoke in a gravely voice. "I was visiting with Bradley on six, came down to say hi to some people--I thought that was you." He smiled large. "No longer in the pool, huh?" He looked in and around Danny's office. "A real office, nice. Impressive."

"Not so much."

"Beats a cubicle at the old house 'a white."

"You're back in town?"

"Yeah, I took the bureau chief job over at the Washington Ledger. I start next week. I came into town early to set up some editor jobs I need."

"What ya doing here, poaching?" Danny laughed.

"Why ya lookin?" he laughed. "Hey, you'd be good. An editor. I'd get you a bigger office for sure."

"Noooo, thanks." Danny walked back into his office.

Phil followed him. "Oh, come on. You can't tell me you haven't thought about it. I know you turned down the editor job here like six years ago, but that was then. Your back hurts, your fingers get that tension in 'um– I know the feeling. We're gettin' old, Dan. Give you more time to do other things." He smiled. "Date." He smiled. "Take a shower." He laughed. "Not in that order."

"I have this work," he smiled and pointed toward his laptop politely.

"Yeah, nice seein' ya Danny." He turned but stopped. "Here, take my card." He smirked. "If you ever wanna come and _visit an old friend_."

Danny took the card.

Phil took a look at the room and pointed to the laptop. He laughed. "I do still miss it," he smirked. "The only lover that _truly_ loves ya back." He winked one eye and was gone. Leaving Danny with the card.

* * *

**Late November 2006**

The Home of Danny Concannon and C.J. Cregg

A Year and Two Months Later

* * *

Danny paced back and forth, he walked into the living room. 

C.J. sat in a large chair, her feet dangling over the edge of the of it; she looked almost like she was in a cocoon of some kind. She leaned forward, her reading glasses fell over her nose slightly, her face in the last pages of a large set of papers: Danny's book.

"Ahhhhh," she told him with her finger in the air. She sensed he was coming.

Danny turned around and walked back into his office.

C.J. wasn't ready for him yet.

C.J. finished the last page, "Okay." She took off her reading glasses.

Danny walked into the living room, hands in his pockets. He looked for some sign from C.J.

C.J. folded her legs on the chair, cross legged, and looked up at Danny. She had the hugest smile. "This is really good, Danny."

"Really?" he seemed relieved.

"You wrote this in two months?" she was proud and shocked.

"It just flowed out of me..." Danny knelt down in front of the chair. He smiled. "I had a lot of encouragement," he joked.

C.J. let her hand go over the side of his face. "Don't give me credit for this. This is all you."

"It's really good?" he half smiled

"Yes, yes, _yes._" She kissed him.

His words were fast, "You get the title? The title makes sense?"

"I love it. It's a great title. It's perfect."

"'Cause I'm thinkin' of changing it—" he rattled his words over her.

"No, don't change it. Don't change a thing." She put her hand on the manuscript. "I think it's your best work, Danny. Really." She smiled with the impressiveness she felt for the book and for Danny. "This is good," she said with the most sincerity.

"I think..." he nodded his head with a shy smile."I think it is..." Danny was trying not to be too cocky, but it felt good. Danny leaned in and kissed C.J.

They got caught up in the moment.

Danny lifted up and his forehead met C.J.'s. "Thank you." He kissed her. He really wanted to thank her. He leaned in. The manuscript seemed to get in the way. "Okay," he took the manuscript off her lap. "We _really _don't need this right now." He tossed the pages to the ground.

C.J. laughed at the moment. She. reached her long arms around his neck, to pull him near, while her head was pushed into the back crevice of the chair.

Danny leaned in and kissed C.J. again, until he was on the chair along with her. Not a very good fit, but it would do.

Just enough room, somewhat, for both of them. It was a close fit with their legs dangling off the edge of the chair. C.J. couldn't help but giggle.

And somehow right there in the living room, Danny got his "passion" back.

The manuscript lay on the living room floor. A product of love, its white title page had some small wording in the center. The title read: **Lexicon**: a dissection of the language of journalism today, yesterday and tomorrow, by Danny Concannon.

It would change the course of journalism. It would start a debate.

_Another summer day_

_Has come and gone away_

_In Paris and Rome_

_But I wanna go home

* * *

_

**PRESENT**

**October 9, 2005**

The Office of Danny Concannon

The Washington Post

* * *

_May be surrounded by_

_A million people I_

_Still feel alone_

_I just wanna go home_

_Oh I miss you, you know_

Danny sat in his office. He just looked out at his phone. The room was again dark except for the small desk light on his desk.

_And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you_

_Each one a line or two_

"_I'm fine baby, how are you?"_

_Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough_

_My words were cold and flat_

_And you deserve more than that_

Danny's focus was one of a man who's mind was somewhere else.

_Another airplane_

_Another sunny place_

_I'm lucky I know_

_But I wanna go home_

_Mmmm, I've got to go home_

_Let me go home_

_I'm just too far from where you are_

_I wanna come home_

Danny saw himself, only a few days before in New Hampshire. The rain came pouring down and he was soaked, the rain fell off his rain jacket. He followed another group of reporters, but paused for a moment as they all followed Doug Weston into a dry place. He didn't follow.

_And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life_

_It's like I just stepped outside_

_When everything was going right_

_And I know just why you could not_

_Come along with me_

_That this is not your dream_

_But you always believed in me_

Danny sat in his office, alone, just looking at the phone.

_Another winter day has come_

_And gone away_

_In even Paris and Rome_

_And I wanna go home_

_Let me go home_

_And I'm surrounded by_

_A million people I_

_Still feel alone_

_Oh, let me go home_

_Oh, I miss you, you know_

A smile came into his face. He had made a decision. It was finally time.

_Let me go home_

_I've had my run_

_Baby, I'm done_

_I gotta go home_

_Let me go home_

_It will all be all righ_

_tI'll be home tonight_

_I'm coming back home_

_**Michael Buble–Home**_

He would call C.J. in the morning. And it would all begin. It was time. Time to ask the woman he loved, when she was free from her glorious palace on Pennsylvania Avenue, to spend the rest of her life with him. Danny Concannon was coming home.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER 10**

_For more background on Danny and what happened to him last year you can read _

_On The Road With Danny Concannon 04-05_

_Dialogue copywrite 2006_


	11. Chapter 11: Heroic Gestures

On The Road With Danny Concannon: 05-06

"_Heroic Gestures"_

**Companion Episode**: Internal Displacement

* * *

"_Incrementiaism is not an option. I'm pushed into a heroic posture...Feels Funny."_

–**Danny Concannon**

* * *

**Monday, October 10th**

The Office Of C.J. Cregg COS

The White House

Washington, DC

**(THE PRESENT)**

* * *

"_Heroic can be good."_

–**C.J. Cregg**

* * *

"Danny Concannon is on the phone for you?" Margaret said, posed at the side of C.J.'s desk.

"Seriously?" C.J. asked, standing behind her desk. There was a warmness in her voice rarely heard these days, even a smile to her face.

"Ahhh...yeah." Margaret didn't have any reason to lie. Margaret waited.

Kate, standing in front of C.J.'s desk, had no idea what was going on.

"Wow," C.J. said with a release of air. She looked away for a moment, a smile came to her face.

"Blast from the past?" Kate asked.

"Something like that," she smiled at Kate. Boy did C.J. need a blast from her past about now.

"Should I tell him you're busy?" Margaret asked. She knew the drill, as Carol had known it before her. She turned to Kate. "He works for the Post." She turned to C.J. "Should I just direct him to Will?"

"Wait? That Danny Concannon?" Kate asked inquisitively

"No," C.J. said to Margaret, with confidence. "I'm in," she said with a smile and a flirtiness in her eye.

"Really?" Margaret asked, since she always ducked Danny's calls before.

"Really," she said, herself surprised at the smile that had appeared on her face.

Margaret walked out of the room to connect the call.

Kate stayed where she was.

C.J. gave her a look.

"Sorry." And Kate left out of the side entrance.

C.J. smiled, saw the light buzz, and picked up the phone. C.J. was desperate for some connection to her past life, a connection to her happiness, a reminder of the way things once were. Danny fit that bill. His timing was impeccable.

"Hello, stranger," she said with glee.

"Hey." Danny was happy just to hear her voice.

"What can I do ya for?" she joked.

"Just seeing how my fish was doin'?" he joked back.

"The fish is just fine? What's going on?" her voice squeaked up for a moment in fun.

"I was hoping I could see you?" he said with seriousness and affection. He got right to the point.

C.J.'s demeanor changed. She looked almost scared. She desperately wanted to see him. She hadn't felt that in a long time. She tried to push it down, way down, where it had lived for the past four years, maybe even longer.

"I'm in town for a few weeks off and on–"

"Ahh, Danny–I don't know if that's such a —I'm swamped," her voice was soft. She lowered her head. "My days are packed..." She played with the edge of a folder on her desk for a moment.

"Real quick. A quick dinner," he said in his suave way.

"Dinner...?"

"I have something I need to talk to you about."

"Okay?" She didn't understand. She paused. "Is it important?"

"Yeah," he said firmly, but slow and soft. "It is."

"Ah...okay." She paused. "I don't know if have a night free. Do we have to do this right away?"

Margaret came in and put a few papers on C.J.'s desk.

"Yes. I think we do," he said calmly.

C.J. took a breath. She got it. Danny was back for the same reason he was always back for, a story. "I understand."

"Good." He paused. "When can we meet?"

"Hold on." She put her hand over the phone and looked over at Margaret. "I need a night free."

"Don't we all."

C.J. gave her a look.

"Oh, your Wednesday night looks open. Your intelligence briefing just got moved to Friday."

Margaret stayed where she was.

C.J. gave her a look.

Margaret knew to leave.

C.J. took a breath before taking her hand off the phone. "Looks like I have Wednesday night open. Can you keep 'til then?"

"Sounds good." He paused. "The Oval. Eight."

"Make it eight fifteen," she said in her professional voice. She looked a little uneasy, just as she felt.

"I'll wait."

"Okay, then," C.J. said awkwardly.

"It's a date." He took a small moment. "I'm looking forward to it." He paused. "I'll see you Wednesday, then." And he hung up.

C.J. was left with that look on her face, that look only he could give her. She took a breath and hit the phone against her forehead. "Damn it, Damn it, Damn it."

* * *

**_Wednesday_**

**The Home of Danny Concannon**

* * *

Danny checked his tie in the mirror. He stood in his bedroom, the TV blaring, just like he did every morning. He was up a little earlier than usual, but excitement had given him an early morning wake up call. He checked the shirt in the mirror; something seemed off. No, not this one. He shook his head and pulled at his tie and the collar, walking away from the mirror.

New shirt, his favorite shirt, the blue one with the white lines. The shirt he was wearing when he broke the Sharif case. Maybe not appropriate, but it made him feel good. He smiled and fixed the brown tie around his neck. He had that glint in his eye. That cocky stride he was known for. One might call it a compassionate cockiness. It may have sounded like an oxymoron, but Danny could be sweet and understanding and confident in himself and his work all at once. He was just that kind of a guy. And today he was his old self. He took his jacket off the bed, a nice dark green one, and threw it on. He smoothed it down and smiled. He was ready. He'd leave from work that night and meet her there.

* * *

**The Home Of C.J. Cregg**

* * *

C.J. gave herself a look in the mirror. She tried on a dark suit and pants, that didn't work. She tried her blue Donna Karen and then changed again. What was she doing? She was going to be late.

She ran around her apartment, after slipping into a close-fitting dress, and grabbed a matching multi-colored green scarf off her bed. She turned and caught herself in the mirror. She walked toward the mirror and threw the scarf on. She took a breath and moved her head slightly. Did this look good? Yeah. It worked.

"This shouldn't matter," she told herself. It didn't matter what she wore. This was a business dinner. That was all, but the idea of seeing Danny Concannon again gave her that feeling in her stomach. This can't be good.

"Ugg," she shrugged off her look in the mirror. She didn't have time for this. Not any of this. Not now. Not in a long time. It almost felt strange. She grabbed her purse, a matching jacket, and left.

* * *

**The White House**

* * *

C.J. walked toward her office with large steps, her hair flowed behind her, because of her quick pace

"You look nice?" Kate said as she caught sight of her.

"Was that a question?" she looked toward her.

Kate fell in line with C.J.

"No. I just mean. You look nice."

"But, I don't always look nice?" she wondered with a little anxiety.

"No. No. I just mean today — I don't know —you look nice."

"Really?" She looked at Kate.

"Yeah," Kate said it plainly.

"Okay." She threw it off.

"Something special?" Kate asked.

C.J. gave her a scared look. Was she that obvious?

* * *

**The Washington Post Offices**

* * *

Danny walked off the elevator with a spring in his step.

"Hey, Danny," said a woman about Danny's age.

"Hey, Mary," he said with a large smile.

"Lookin' good," she smiled and hit the elevator button.

Danny looked pretty surprised. He hadn't gotten something like that in a long time. He fixed his jacket and walked toward his office with a smile. Danny was looking good.

* * *

**The Oval Room**

_(on Connecticut Ave)_

7:45

* * *

Danny walked into The Oval. He fixed his tie. This was it. He took a breath.

"Right this way, Sir." The Hostess smiled at Danny.

Danny followed the woman to his table.

* * *

**The White House**

8:15

* * *

C.J. nodded her head at the men in her office. She caught sight of the clock and her face looked like that of Cinderella at midnight.

"C.J.?" Miles Hutchinson asked, seeing she was distracted.

"I don't agree..." And she went on with her night.

* * *

**The Oval**

8:45

* * *

Danny leaned forward a little toward the table. The waitress asked if he wanted anything. He smiled and said he was still waiting. He moved his wrist so he could see his watch. He knew she would be late. She'd call if she wasn't coming. He said he'd wait. He waited. After a moment Danny took out his lap top and decided not to waste the time. No problem. Danny was used to waiting. He didn't mind.

* * *

**9:30 pm**

* * *

C.J. looked out through the car window; they were almost there. She looked at her watch and got that nervous feeling in her stomach, for many reasons.

"Business dinner," she said softly to herself.

The car stopped and the door was opened for her. C.J. rushed out.

* * *

**The Oval**

9:35pm

* * *

Danny looked up from his laptop and smiled. There she was, coming toward him. Here it was. She looked amazing. In his eyes she always looked amazing. He was just so excited to see her.

C.J. felt guilty when she noticed he hadn't started his meal without her. He should have at at least been drinking.

* * *

**The Oval**

9:47 pm

* * *

"When, can I see you again?" Danny asked her as she walked away from him.

"After we're out of office," she said softly enough for him to hear.

Danny took a breath and watched the door swing closed behind her. There he was, left alone without her again.

He took a breath and turned back toward his table. He sat down with a collapsed thud. He took his napkin and threw it on the table.

The waitress approached feeling awkward, "Can I get you something?"

"Ahh...no." Danny went for his wallet. "Thanks. I'm not hungry." He tossed a few dollars on the table. "Thank you." He smiled at the girl, took his old leather bag, and left out the same door C.J. had exited from. So much for heroic gestures. He was sure there had to be another way of telling her what he had planned to tell her. There must be. He'd figure it out.

* * *

**The Next Day**

Thursday, October 13th

12:34 PM

* * *

The sun hit Danny's face as he walked up the steps of the _Washington Ledger _building. A woman walked next to him and he paused at the door so she could enter first. Always a gentleman. And even after the debacle of the night before, he was in a good mood.

The woman gave Danny a polite "Thank you" smile.

Danny made his way into the green lobby of the _Washington Ledger_. Wearing a green shirt and a darker green tie and jacket, Danny almost matched the interior.

Danny took off his sunglasses and set them in his inside breast pocket. He pushed his old worn leather laptop bag to the side.

"Hi," he said to the receptionist, sitting under the large _Washington Ledger _words, high above her head. "Danny Concannon – I'm here to see Phil Redden."

"Sure, just take the elevators over there–" she pointed behind Danny. "Fifth floor."

"Thank you." Danny hit the top of her little counter and walked toward the elevator. He waited with a small group of people.

After a moment his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and answered it.

"This is Danny."

C.J. just started talking. "I know you're working on the story and we'll get to that later. But right now, I'm concerned with the President and I don't want to have to walk your dumb-ass gauntlet of journalistic ethics, so I'll make this easy for you: I'm going to say a sentence and if it's true, you just don't say anything. Clear?"

"I don't say anything?"

She was a perplexing woman to Danny, yet still so appealing.

"If you don't say anything, it means that what I said was true."

"Ahh, okay." He went with the flow.

"Got it?"

"Isn't that kind of risky?"

"What do ya mean."

The elevator door opened and people got in.

"Well, what if you say something that's not true…" Danny got on the elevator. "And my cell phone cuts out?"

"That's not going to happen."

"I just got on an elevator."

"Well, get off now, mister!

The elevator started to shut.

Danny jumped to it and tried to push past the people. "Whoa, whoa. Hang on." He turned to a woman. "Sorry." He put his hand in the way of the elevator and got out, but C.J. seemed to no longer be on the other end of the phone. Danny heard some noise in the background. "Ah, C.J.?"

Danny started to walk down a hallway, still on the first floor of the Ledger, the business of a news room blustering around him. Danny listened and called out her name again. He was sure he heard some kind of commotion. Did he hear her scream? "C.J.?" He whistled to get her attention. Nothing. "Hello? Claudia Jean. Hello. Helloooo. Hello. Helloooo, C.J. Are you okay?"

Finally she came back on the line. "You there?"

"Yeah," he said. " You okay?

"I almost killed my fish."

"On purpose?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Well, you've been under a lot of pressure."

"Okay, listen up."

"I'll tell you anything you want to know if you have dinner with me tomorrow night."

"What?" Suddenly, C.J. was no longer in control. Her stomach got that weird feeling again.

"I just want to see if we can get through an appetizer together."

C.J. needed her answer. "Okay." But, she didn't sound so sure.

"Same place?" he said with confidence.

"Sure." This wasn't good. Not good at all.

"Great. Shoot." He had fun with her. Danny was pleased as punch. Not just for the date, but how he could still play with her after all these years. It was fun.

"If I went to the President with the information you brought to my attention, would I be making a mistake?"

"Nope, see you tomorrow night." And Danny hung up his phone with one motion before she had any chance to respond. He smiled his devilish smile.

* * *

**The Office Of C.J. Cregg**

* * *

C.J. took a breath. Danny had done it again. Now, she'd have to talk to the President about something she didn't want to talk to the President about.

And oh god, now she had another dinner with Danny. This wasn't happening. She couldn't be distracted by him again, not now. She had only a few months left on her ride in the White House. She needed to give her work the attention it deserved and she knew, in her gut, that when Danny Concannon was around that didn't happen.

After a moment with the "oh god, what did I just do" feeling on her face, C.J. hung up the phone.

She looked off for a moment. Oh, yeah Danny Concannon had done it again.

She would have hit herself in the forehead with the phone again except that it hurt the last time. Back to business.

* * *

**The Office of the Washington Ledger**

* * *

Danny took a few steps, pretty happy with his achievement, his gutsy move. But, that was Danny. Even when he was in his own limbo land, that was Danny, he'd always be that way. A strong, fun, gutsy, confidence guy, at least about her. About her and his work.

"Danny!" Phil's large voice echoed through the hall. He walked up to Danny with two people flanked behind him. "You get lost? I was just about to go up to my office to meet you." He shook Danny's hand.

"I had a phone call." He showed his phone and placed it back in his pocket.

"Well..." he put his hand on Danny's back. "Let's have that lunch," he smiled and winked his eye.

"Sounds good," Danny said with all sincerity.

* * *

**The Office of Danny Concannon**

The Washington Post

The Next Day

_Friday, October, 14th 2005_

* * *

Danny sat at his desk typing at a running pace. He was on deadline.

Maisy appeared in the door way. She leaned up against the door frame and listened to Danny type. She waited a moment. She didn't look so happy.

"Rumor has it you were at the Ledger yesterday," she said and folded her arms.

"I have friends at the Ledger." Danny didn't stop his typing.

"I got friends who work for Coffee Joe's, but I got a loyalty to Starbucks, ya know what I mean?"

"Not a friend of small business, are ya there, Maisy?" Danny leaned back and looked over his work.

"I'm just sayin' you leave with the girl that brought ya."

"Say that again?" He looked at her.

"Ya know what I'm sayin'?" She walked into the office.

"No, no I don't. I actually have no idea what you're saying."

"I think you do."

"Nooo." He smiled humoring her. "Please do elaborate for me." He smiled.

"I just know you've been a little disillusioned lately–"

"I'm not, Maisy. I'm fine." He went back to his work.

"You need to leave with the girl–"

"That brought me. I got it." He stopped typing and looked at Maisy, "Thank you, Maisy. But, since The Post is not the one _who brought me, _since I'veworked for a lot of papers, Maisy, and I'll will probably work for _a lot _more after I leave this place–which I'm not, I haven't made any decisions yet, I'm _just_ lookin'" He went on typing.

"So, you did meet with Phil Reddin?"

"We had a lunch. That's all. I don't want to be an editor."

"But, he offered?"

"Yeah." Danny went back to his work.

"And you're _thinkin'_ about it..."

"Sometimes you get to a point where you need to stop and reevaluate your life, Maisy. You'll go through it at some point too... That's not right." He hit the back space a few times.

"Oh, don't you put your mid-life crisis on me. "

"Excuse me!" That made Danny stop his work.

"Oh, yes you are."

"Some people call it growth..." He stammered for a moment. "And I am not–" He laughed it off.

"People call snails escargot — that doesn't mean I'm gonna eat it."

"Don't you have college applications to fill out?" He went back to his work.

"You can get an editor job here."

"I never said I wanted to be an editor. I'm just—"

"Evaluating your options?"

"Exactly," he assured her. "It was really just a courtesy call."

"This is the Post, Danny," she stressed. "I mean the Ledger, come on."

"I listened to his proposal. That's it. I'm just looking at my options." He assured her again. "That's all."

"Mid-life crisis, " she snarled.

"God, Jeez– Maisy. Stop it. It is not!" He lowered his head.

"Well, explain to me this. What about all those people who buy light bread and light orange juice, but wake up every morning and have bacon and French toast for breakfast. You got to learn to moderate."

"See, I was gonna say they were just fooling themselves." He didn't get where she was going.

"Well, yeah, I guess there's that too." She looked off for a moment.

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

"I think I just forgot my point..."

"Okay," he went back to his work.

"No, I got it."

Danny, not too happy, lifted his fingers off his keyboard. He gave her a humoring type smile.

"I'm saying that instead of cutting out all the sugars in your diet or never eating a carb again, I'm saying moderation. Otherwise your drinkin' diet orange juice with waffles all your life when you could just have a nice piece of toast and a real glass of O.J.—maybe a nice bowl a fruit- and just have the waffles once in a while. You get it."

"I really don't."

"See, now I'm just hungry."

"You here for a reason?"

"Huh?"

"I thought you didn't come in on Fridays anymore?"

"Oh, no, I have class later. I was wondering if you could write me a recommendation for my applications?" Her voice went up and her head gave an "I need a favor after all" look.

"Yeah, sure." He went back to his work.

"Great." She smiled.

"Bye, Danny." She left the office.

"Later, Maisy." He continued typing.

"Oh and Danny." She put her head in the office. "Lookin' good." She smiled.

"Thanks." He smiled.

"Mid-life crisis or not."

Danny laughed and went back to his work, "Goodbye."

"Later..." And she was gone.

* * *

**The Lobby of the Washington Post**

7:35 PM

* * *

Danny checked himself in the mirrors, next to the elevator, in the lobby of _The Post_. He looked good, felt good, and he wasn't gonna let C.J. go so easily this time. This time he was gonna get it out. He smiled and walked toward the door.

* * *

**C.J. Cregg's Office**

* * *

"I have a date." She told Kate Harper.

"You do not."

"I do too." C.J. was appalled.

* * *

**Outside The Oval**

* * *

Outside the Oval, Danny took a breath, making sure all was well. He walked into the restaurant.

Inside her car, C.J. took a breath. This dinner would be what Iit was and that was all. She stepped out of the car.

* * *

**Inside The Oval**

* * *

Danny stood as C.J. approached the table.

She smiled and sat down.

Danny sat down and smiled.

C.J. smiled and looked away awkwardly and shy. How he did to her what no one else. Not good at all. Good for Danny.

Very good for Danny. The smell of her perfume, the spark in her voice, the humor in her jokes. Oh, to be near her, to be human with her, to talk to her once again.

Real conversation. Talks like they used to have. Talks like she use to have with anyone, everyone, all the men in the good old days, but she remembered especially with Danny. She had that melancholy nostalgia feeling. In his eyes she saw more than his soul, she saw her past and in that, herself again.

In her eyes he saw his future.

Really it was two people being themselves. Two people sharing their thoughts on life.

"Why'd you come?"

She paused before speaking the truth. "I wanted to see you."

It was time for a heroic posture.

* * *

**9:00 pm**

* * *

Danny was left alone at the table. Again. The waitress came over.

"You want the check?"

"Yeah." He nodded his head. Not looking at her.

Danny tried not to show his heart was laying out on the table in front of him. He held it in. He knew she had to go, he understood, but it didn't make him feel any better. He'd just have to wait. Wait like he always did. Waiting was the name of the game. The game he knew too well. A game that maybe he'd been playing for to long.

* * *

**Between 9:05 pm and 9:19 pm**

* * *

It was a cold October night. Cold enough for a coat, but Danny didn't have one. He walked the streets of DC, to clear his head. Maybe not the wisest thing, but his thoughts were elsewhere.

At some point Danny found himself in a park sitting next to a large fountain. He took a breath and let the night fall over him.

* * *

**9:23pm**

* * *

Danny walked into his home and threw his keys on the large table near the door. He walked into his bedroom and put the TV on.

Danny sat on the bed and fell backwards feeling the weight of the day. He raised his head as CNN appeared on the television. His mouth opened and he ran his hand over his face.

His problems went out the door and his focus was on California.

C.J. wasn't kidding when she said she had to go. Not that he ever thought she was.

* * *

**9:34**

* * *

"This is Danny," Danny picked up his cell phone. "Yeah, Maisy I'm watching it now." He motioned his head toward the President speaking on television.

* * *

**10:41**

* * *

Danny watched the coverage on the TV, he stood in his kitchen, watching his television and dipping a tea bag in his Notre Dame mug. He no longer wore his jacket or tie, but still wore his shirt and pants.

Danny thought of C.J. He thought of the people in California. Himself. His family.

C.J., in the sit room, had no time to think of Danny. No time to think of anything other than what was at hand.

And if Danny knew that, he'd be fine with it. She had a job to do and Danny knew that. He had no problem with that, he never did.

* * *

**4:25 AM**

* * *

C.J., weary at her desk, put down the phone. Just like she would, only weeks later, after a call, a call about a tragedy of another kind. A death more close to the heart, but still just as heart felt in her mind. Both times, with a heavy heart, she would set the phone down in its cradle, weary and tearful.

Her heart was heavy with the heroic act of a man she didn't even know. She wondered if she would want one of her family members to give up their life for the sake of others.

She stood and held the piece of paper, with the information she would tell the President, in her hand.

She thought of the man's family, she thought of her own family. She thought of Danny for the first time that night. She shut that thought back down. She couldn't. No distractions. She'd left him there. No distractions she told herself.

She walked toward the Oval.

Across town Danny walked to his corner deli and picked up a copy of _The Post_. Unable to sleep, he'd decided to take a walk. He picked up the paper and looked at the headline: _CA residents flee potential nuclear meltdown."_

Just your typical day for Danny. Man takes the woman he loves out for dinner, asks her to spend the rest of his life with him, woman gets called away to deal with a nuclear meltdown in California. Yeah, just another typical day.

He handed the man a few coins, thanked him, and walked back to his apartment.

Sometimes heroic acts can be large and small. Sometimes they can be seen by millions of people or seen by none, impact millions of people or impact one. They are still heroic - from risking your life to having the courage to tell someone what is in your heart.

To ask her, without knowing the answer, if that person would be willing to spend the rest of her life with you, even if you have no idea what that future holds. Even if you have no idea whatsoever if she'll say yes.

* * *

**Danny**

"It doesn't sound very heroic."

**C.J.**

"It's not."

* * *

**Almost three years later**

Santa Monica, CA

* * *

C.J. held her child in her arms, after a gorgeous Saturday afternoon. No more staying up late for affairs of state, or action on national threats, there was a new reason to stay up nights. She held her child's head against her lips and swayed for a moment. The baby rested into her mother's chest like a comforting pillow, as babies tend to do.

Danny walked up behind C.J.

He smiled, looking at his two girls.

C.J. smiled and rocked their baby up and down.

Danny and C.J. looked at each other and smiled. All the madness of their past seemed to make sense, it all seemed to lead to this.

Being the heroic one usually means your own needs get thrown to the wayside. C.J. and Danny finally had their rewards. They were finally at rest.

But, it was a long way coming.

* * *

**THE END OF CHAPTER 11**


	12. Chapter 12: Game Theory

On The Road With Danny Concannon: '05-'06

"_Game Theory"_

**Companion Episode**: Duck & Cover

Notes: Please feedback. It helps writers. Good or bad. :)

* * *

Sooner or later

Your legs give way, you hit the ground

Save it for later

Don't run away and let me down

Sooner or later

You hit the deck, you get found out

Save it for later

Don't run away, you run away and let me down

Why don't you hold me

Why don't you hold me and kiss me

Why don't you hold me

Why don't you hold me and kiss me now

Save it for later baby

Save it for later honey

Don't run away, Don't run away and let me down

Don't run away, Don't run away and let me down

-**Save It For Later**

* * *

"Right now I only have time for things that could spontaneously combust."

–**C.J. Cregg _Duck & Cover_**

* * *

Two Half Years Later

**Late May 2008**

A little over three Months to the opening of the Bartlet Library

Santa Monica, CA

* * *

C.J. made her way, on her daily jog, around the hill of the suburban street. She adjusted her I-pod and made a left. Taking a perfectly fast, yet steady pace, she made her way down the California streets.

It was 7 am and people were just getting up, getting the paper, starting the gardening, it was a perfect Saturday morning.

"Hey, C.J.!" a man yelled from his front yard.

C.J. smiled and waved back.

C.J. took a left off the sidewalk and crossed the street, over a small hill, and onto another pathway, toward her house. She paused by a large tree and checked her pulse, with two fingers on her neck, still running in place.

"Hey, C.J.," said a man in his sixties from his front lawn.

"Hey, Cal."

"Saw your guy on TV yesterday."

"He's not my guy anymore," she tried to shrug it off with a smile.

He nodded his head. "What do you think of the new guy?"

"Nice to see you, Cal." She smiled slightly and started her run again. Not her business anymore.

This time C.J. made her last sets of strides up a block and paused by a medium sized ranch house. She took a pause, caught her breath, by the new white fence, and made a left up a small stone walkway. She turned off her I-pod and took her head phones out of her ears. She looked up, taking a heavy breath. She stopped in her tracks. A familiar face, Charlie, dressed in a suit, obviously ready for work, sitting on the steps of her front pouch, a large envelope in his hand.

"No," she protested while walking toward him. "No, No, no, no, no."

"Just hear me out," Charlie stood up.

"What is today, Charlie?"

"I really don't think-."

"What is today, Charlie?" she stressed.

"Saturday."

C.J. took a step up the stoop and Charlie followed her.

"And what do I say about Saturdays?" She hit the screen of her door with her hand to open it. It creaked as she passed.

"No work on Saturdays—" Charlie followed her into the house.

"Saturday is when I spend time with my family, Charlie." She made her way through the wood paneled foyer, with the living room in the background, and took a left toward the kitchen, through the dining room.

"I know."

C.J. opened her cabinets and took out a glass and a white mug with a Notre Dame symbol on it. She then went to the refrigerator and took a pitcher of orange juice and poured herself a glass. She took a drink of the orange juice and placed the glass down on a small counter in the center of the room.

"And you know I wouldn't come unless it was really important," Charlie stressed while C.J. put the pitcher of juice back in the refrigerator. "I tried to call you, but your phone was off."

"Funny about that, isn't it?" she said with her pure brand of sarcasm. She shut the refrigerator door like a period to her sentence. She made her way to the coffee maker and poured what had already been brewed into the white mug. She walked over to Charlie and placed the mug between them, on the counter in the middle of the room.

Danny, sleepy, and sluggish, walked into the kitchen, dressed in his boxers and undershirt.

"Hey Charlie," Danny said, with a groggy sleeping voice, as if seeing Charlie first thing in the morning in his kitchen wasn't a strange occurrence.

"Hey, Danny."

Danny kissed his wife on her left check and wrapped his arm around her waist.

C.J. smiled, yet still focused on Charlie. She handed Danny the white mug of coffee.

Danny smiled at the gesture.

"And this can't wait," C.J. continued. She went back to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water.

"Macmillan had to change his flight to Japan to _tomorrow_, which means we have to finalize the agreement by _today_ or else the funding doesn't get there on time, which means the supplies don't get on the truck in time– which leaves a half a dozen Ugandans and contractors sitting around on our pay roll doing nothing..."

She gestured with her water bottle, "Well, that doesn't seem to be fair," she said dryly.

"As is love and war." Charlie put a set of paperwork in front of C.J. who was still a little bewildered at the ambush in front of her. "I have the papers, all ready for you. I've had them notarized, signed by Mr. Macmillian and ready to be wired to his cabin in Colorado."

C.J. looked up at Charlie with a look only C.J. could give. "Freak"

"Sign here and here, by the x and those little yellow tags that say sign here." Charlie got another look from C.J. "Okay, I guess I didn't have to tell you that, huh?"

"Charlie." Danny passed the two again, from the other direction, and placed his hand on Charlie's shoulder. "I'd just like to thank you for being a second wife to my wife, here." He smiled slyly at C.J.

C.J. tried not to laugh back. It just came out as an off center grin.

Danny raised his eye brows at C.J.

"I like to think of myself as her second husband." Charlie remarked, "You know, without the added benefits."

Danny stopped in his place and looked up at Charlie, his coffee cup halfway to his mouth.

Simultaneously, C.J. gave Charlie a glaring eye with her mouth half open.

"Went a little too far with that joke, didn't I?" Charlie said at the two.

"Ya think?" C.J. raised her eyebrow and looked back down to sign the papers.

"Sorry, Danny," Charlie turned to Danny.

"It's alright," Danny muttered. "It's early." He took a sip of his coffee while walking out of the room.

"No, really man." Charlie took a step. "I didn't mean to suggest or imply I was and or wanted to be with your woman—"

"Charlie–" Danny stopped Charlie by putting his hand on his shoulder. "You need to stop _now_."

"Yeah," Charlie lowered his head and Danny was gone. He turned to C.J.

C.J. handed Charlie the papers with a cross look on her face

"You'll thank me on Monday when you're back in work mode," he grinned.

"When do you go back to school, again?"

"Two and a half months and counting." He said with glee. "Unless you want me to leave early and find someone else to work for an intern's pay."

"Out of my house, Charlie," she lowered her head and pointed toward the door.

"I'm gone." Charlie took up the papers.

C.J. shook her head.

"C.J.," Charlie stopped at the step. "Ya know, gettin' a little work done on a weekend, isn't that bad. You can ease up a little and not fall into what was your old life."

C.J. took a drink and looked Charlie in the eye. "Incrementalism is not an option, Charlie."

"I don't—"

"Let's just say it's a family motto." She took another drink of her juice. She gave Charlie a look.

"Yeah..." he laughed. "I'm gone." He ran for the door.

C.J. smiled and took a drink of her orange juice. She took a nice calming breath.

She walked through the foyer and up the stairs. C.J. could hear the shower going as she passed the bathroom. She knew she'd have to wait.

C.J. walked into her bedroom and kicked off her shoes, she set her I-pod on her dresser, and grabbed a small towel to take the excess sweat off her body. She smiled at herself in the mirror, not sure why, maybe the happy mood she was in, took her wedding ring off the dresser and placed it back on her finger. She then made a bee-line to the room next to hers and her smile changed to pure joy.

"Hello, Precious." She said to her gorgeous, red-haired, daughter with her eyes wide open in her crib. Almost three months old and fully awake. "Look who's up." She approached her daughter. "Yes, yes." She picked her up with a small grunt and kissed her forehead.

She took the girl in her arms. She leaned her head next to her daughter's head and reveled in the moment. Her eyes almost teared up, with memories of the past, reminding her where she came from. Danny, in the shower, her work on the back burner, exercise done, this was her time. She took her daughter in her arms and sat down in the rocking chair. She rocked back and forth for a little bit.

"So, what shall be talk about today?"

* * *

Later...

* * *

C.J. leaned her head to the left and placed her right earring in her ear. She looked at herself in the mirror.

"Okay. She's asleep." Danny came into the bedroom.

C.J. turned her head and walked into the middle of the room.

"I say we have about an hour." He took his wife in his arms. He smiled.

C.J. smiled.

They kissed and then pretty much went at each other at rapid pace. Clothing going everywhere, the door was closed, sounds were made, limbs went awkwardly flying, and they both hit the bed. They both looked excited about their speedy mission

"Foreplay?" He asked in a joking way.

"No time." She said lifting her shirt off her body.

Her husband kissed her while she ran her hands over his chest and around his neck.

Danny and C.J. laid in bed, sweaty and happy, the sheets a mess and thrown over their bodies. C.J. nestled herself on Danny's chest, her right leg draped over the sheet and around his leg and body. They looked at peace and relaxed. They laughed.

"I love Saturdays," she sighed.

"Hummm." Danny smiled. He laughed.

C.J. looked out the window, the light from the day came through the drapes.

"There's just something about having sex during the day," she sighed and leaned her head onto Danny's arm and chest, "The light coming in through the window, the crickets, the birds."

"The sounds of nature," he leaned in and kissed her.

"Ummmmm," she smiled. C.J. ran her hand over the side of Danny's face. "You know, I'm happy right?"

Danny pulled back his head. He wondered why she had to tell him, but it was nice to hear.

"Yeah," he laughed evilly.

She laughed and paused serenely. "Thank you for convincing me."

He shook his head, "I didn't convince you of anything."

"You did." Her eyes glimmered.

"You make it sound like I dragged you kicking and screaming." He took some of the hair out of the way of her face.

"No." She paused. "But I would have never had this life if it wasn't for you."

"Don't thank me."

"I think I will."

Danny took a breath and just looked over her. He got a little chocked up.

The baby cried.

"I'll get her." Danny started for the door.

"No." C.J. smiled. "I got her." She slipped out of bed.

Danny watched his wife slip from the white sheets into a green robe.

C.J. gave him a nice smile on her way out.

Danny leaned back and smiled. He was pretty happy himself.

The phone rang. Danny reached his arm across the bed and picked up the phone.

* * *

**Saturday, October 15th**

The Present (2005)

**8:24 am**

The Apartment of Danny Concannon

**Just outside Georgetown**

(The Morning After The Nuclear Leak.)

* * *

"Danny," he said in a groggy voice, speaking into the phone that had just woken him up. "Yeah." Danny picked up his head from the bed. He looked down to see he had slept in his clothes from the night before. "Yeah. I'm here. I just...I...yeah, no I'm here. I was sleeping." Danny took a breath and ran his hand over his face. He inched toward the end of the bed. "I don't know. I really need to think about it, Phil." He looked around, getting the bearings of his bedroom. "I just had the meeting with you on Thursday." He pulled his tie from around his neck. "I really don't know if I wanna be an editor." Danny moved the phone to his other ear to have a hand free to unbutton his shirt. "Thanks for the offer. I am thinking about it, I just...that's why I came." He paused and nodded his head. "Yeah. I just don't know yet..."

Danny turned on the news. The nuclear leak info came over the airways.

"I understand if you have to do that. Yeah, thanks Phil." Danny pushed the off button on the phone and threw it on the bed.

He watched the news coverage of the leak in California while he unbuttoned the rest of his red shirt.

Danny started on his cuffs and walked toward his bathroom. He started a shower.

* * *

_Airforce One_

**Late Saturday October 16th**

* * *

C.J. sat, weary and fatigued from lack of sleep. She sat, sunken almost, in one of the large chairs by the window, her hand leaning on her forehead. She let out a breath.

"Hey." Kate said approaching her. She checked a few things on her sidekick.

"Hey." C.J. said, not really looking at her.

"When we land we're probably gonna have to go straight to the sit room."

"China and Russia? Did they cross the border?"

"No, not yet, but it looks like they could in the next seventy two hours."

"Okay." She stood, a little dazed and confused. She looked around in an uneasy way.

"He's on with Nancy right now."

"Okay."

They started to walk down the hallway.

"Looks like we're going to have to use a little_ game theory_." She checked her sidekick again.

"I thought game theory was a mathematical term?"

"It can be, but it's all mathematics, isn't it?"

C.J. shook her head. "Yeah."

"Game theory is really just the theory of rational behavior for interactive decision problems – how all parties work off each other to make a decision – how they interact will then determine the answer. Game theory tries to figure out what will happen, before the answer is reached."

"All parties? Meaning China and Russia?"

"Yeah," she nodded her head.

"Good luck with that," she said sarcastically.

"Mathematically it tends to contribute to games of _imperfect _knowledge, like chess, or games in which players move simultaneously..."

"Math and chess, you found your perfect President for that. He goes coo-coo for anything involving numbers or pie charts," she said dryly.

"Like Cocoa Puffs."

"I on the other hand I go crazy for anything for a flaky crust." She looked around the cabin.

"Pretty much it's a mathematical method of decision-making in which a competitive analysis is used todetermine the optimal course of action."

"It's _strategy_?" she said to show she got it the first time.

"Yeah." She nodded her head. All that, and one word would have sufficed.

"So pretty much I've been engaged in game theory my entire life," her voice drilled off the words. She folded her arms.

"We all are."

"That's comforting."

They walked in silence for a stretch.

"I need an aspirin." C.J. stopped and looked around again.

"I never asked you about Friday?" She said plainly.

They started walking again.

C.J. seemed dazed, unsure what Kate was getting at, "Friday?"

"Your date?"

"Oh, god," she softly trailed off. "My date." Her face was so drawn and fatigued. "I had to walk out on him." She felt bad and her voice showed it. But it was a fact she couldn't get around.

Kate followed, "You call?"

"It was all over the news. I'm sure he understands."

"A call never hurts." She looked down at her sidekick again and typed in a few things.

"I can't." She found herself at one of the flight attendants' stations. "We're in mid-air. I can't use my cell phone up here." She saw one of the airplane attendants. "Could I get an aspirin, thank you?"

"Use one of the plane phones," she motioned around the cabin with her side kick. "I'm sure no one will mind." She went a back to her sidekick. Work to be done.

"I can't call him from Air Force One." C.J. was given an aspirin and a cup of water. "Thank you." She downed the pills with the water.

"Why can't you call him from the plane?" Kate asked.

C.J. gave the cup back to the attendant, who smiled and walked away.

Kate followed.

"So, you like flying from coast to coast with the President, just to brief him on foreign affairs? Must be a crimp in your social life?" C.J. asked with a smirk.

"Beats flying over the Middle East in a cargo plane," she paused. "Not that I've done that before," she said in a serious deadpan.

"Looks like we're gonna have a mess to clean up in California. Just what we need, another ten billion to take away from education and hungry children in Africa."

Kate looked up at C.J. with a cock-eyed look. "I still don't get why you can't call him from the plane." Her eyes got wide.

"You really do have a one track mind."

"It's like you said, I have to jump on a plane at a moment's notice to brief the President. I find, most of the time, I have to live vicariously through other women. "

"And since I'm the only other woman around here—"

"Not that I'm seeing anyone know..." She paused. "Wait a...hold the phone?." She crooked her head toward C.J.. "Was your date Friday with Mr. Blast From the Past? From Monday?

C.J.'s face said it all.

"It was, wasn't it?" Her eyes were wide.

C.J.'s eyes darted and she pulled Kate over to a corner, away from the divide between them and the Press cabin.

"You dated a reporter?" Kate whispered.

C.J. had that "do not talk about this here" look. She motioned her head to a room they could go into. They walked in, and C.J. closed the door and stood a few paces in front of it to make sure no one would be coming in.

"I didn't _date_ a reporter," she said defending herself.

"But, you said in your office–"

"I _know_ what I said. It was just easier to explain it that way than go into a whole... history. It's complicated."

"Complicated good or complicated bad?" She motioned forward with her head slightly.

"Complicated bad." C.J. motioned her head toward Kate.

"Oh." She took a breath while playing with her finger nails.

"Yes." C.J. stressed.

"And now he's back?"

"_Yes_."

"One of those- You wanted to and he wanted to, but..." Kate was interrupted by C.J.

"...I was the Press Secretary and he was a reporter. It wasn't _gonna_ happen. It was _not _an option." She paused. "This goes nowhere by the way."

"Of course."

C.J. gave her a look.

Kate was shocked, "I'm NSA." She didn't get the look she wanted. "I think I'm good at keeping a secret."

"I just wanna be _clear_."

"Of course." There was a pause. "How long did you two...?" She insinuated with her head.

"We didn't! I just finished telling you, we didn't." C.J. tried to be irate in hushed tones.

"Well, you can do a lot of things without actually _dating."_

C.J.'s voice was firm. "We just kissed, that's all." She lowered her head. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation."

"Kissing can be nice." She paused. "And now he's _back_?" she asked flatly.

"After four years of tension and four years of me driving him away, yes, he's back."

"What does he want?"

C.J. took a breath. "Me, apparently." She spoke plainly looking almost like a little girl.

"And this is good?"

C.J. said nothing.

"Not good? Bad? _Bad,_ this is a bad thing?" Kate shook her head from side to side in a no gesture. She waited for the reason answer.

"I'm not sure."

"You're not sure?"

"I don't have time to really _focus_ on this..." C.J. walked a pace away from the door.

"...And yet there it is right in your face– like most men–" Kate trailed off.

"In three months, sure. I'd be open to —" She looked toward Kate.

"To a relationship?"

"Something..." She didn't seem to feel comfortable talking about it out loud. "I'd be willing except his offer."

"Offer?"

"He pretty much asked me to..." She lowered her head in awkwardness.

Kate waited for the rest.

"Spend the rest of my life with him." C.J. felt stupid saying the sentence out loud.

"No way!" Kate paused. "Although, I thought you were going to say he–" She shifted on her hip.

C.J. was shocked. "I haven't seen him in almost four years he's not gonna–"

"Still, asking someone to spend the rest of your life with them isn't really first date material."

"No." She paced. "Incremetalism is not an option."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"So, I don't get it. If you still want to and he still wants to. You're not the Press Secretary anymore."

"He distracts me." She paced a little again.

"All the best men do,"she droned off. Kate seemed to understand C.J.'s scary dilemma too well.

"And there's still the added fact that just because the obvious conflict of interest isn't there doesn't mean we should." She stopped pacing and looked at Kate. "I still work at close range to the Oval Office."

"You're both adults. As long as you have that line of demarcation. It's not like you're responsible for what he writes about anymore. It's not your job to feed him information."

C.J. nodded her head begrudgingly. She started to pace again.

"Really, I think it depends on if it's okay with you? Is it?" She paused.

C.J. stopped pacing and looked at Kate with the look of a scared little girl. "I don't know." She looked confused.

Of course C.J. did know, she was just afraid to say it or think it.

C.J. started speaking again, "But, that's beside the point. I only have a few more miles left on this thing and I don't wanna let go of it so soon. _I wanna_...get every morsel out of this thing before the dinner's over. I wanna get something done."

"Yeah." Kate shook her head in agreement.

"Talk about your game theory," she drilled off dryly.

C.J. nodded her head.

There was a knock at the door.

Both women looked toward the door as it opened.

"Sorry, C.J." Charlie looked in. "The President's looking for you..." He saw Kate. "And Commander Harper."

"Yeah." C.J. lowered her head.

Kate gave C.J. a look and passed C.J. and Charlie, walking into the hallway.

Charlie looked at C.J.

C.J. took a breath and left the room.

* * *

**Sunday Morning October 17th**

* * *

C.J. and Will appeared in the entrance way of Air Force One. Back on solid ground, back in DC, and yet, not so solid ground.

Will and C.J. made their ways down the stairs as Will started to speak.

"So, you think we cleared that _massive _cloud of radiation without a scratch?"

"The political one or the physical one?" She took hold of the railing.

"Good point."

"Well, I guess we'll find out when I give birth to a two headed baby," she said sarcastically.

"Yeah... well... there's no way we can wait for that," he joked.

C.J. turned to give him a look as they hit the tarmac.

They stopped walking.

C.J. looked at him.

"I just meant-"

"That my child bearing years are behind me," she said with much disgust at the insult.

"No, just that –" he defended himself aggressively.

"I'm slowly teetering toward the golden years of my life–"

"I'm not saying that," he tried, not very successfully, to defend himself. "I was _not _saying that."

"I didn't think so." C.J. gave him a look and they started walking again.

They walked in silence for a moment, toward the car.

C.J. didn't look too happy. "It could happen, ya know?" She paused. "If I wanted to" She looked at him for a moment and gestured with her hand. "Not that I'm sayin' I want to. I'm saying I'm not that over the hill. I have at least a _few_ eggs left in me..." She saw how frightened Will looked. "_Oh relax,_ I'm not looking at you."

"Good." He paused and took a breath.

They started walking again. "'Cause I already have that if-we're-forty-and-we're-still-single pact with somebody else."

C.J. paused next to the black car. "The more your mouth moves the more you're—"

"Making it worse?" He looked frightened

"Monstrous," she said as the car door was opened for her.

"Yeah. Shutting up now."

C.J. gave Will a look many a woman had given him before and started to duck into the car.

Will took a step toward getting into the car.

C.J. lifted her head back out and looked at him.

"Yeah, that's right, I'll just take the car behind us."

C.J. ducked back in the car.

Will closed the car door behind C.J. and watched the car drive off.

* * *

**Inside the limo...**

* * *

C.J. sat across from the President inside the limo. He was reading something and he looked up from his papers. His reading glasses had slid down to the bridge of his nose.

"So Commander Harper tells me we're going to have to engage in a little game theory?" He said with a little excitement in his voice.

"Should be right up your alley, Sir." C.J. smiled.

"John Nash won the 1994 Nobel prize for economics as a game theorist, he shared the award with two other men, but that's beside the point." He took a short pause. "His theory - the Nash Equilibrium - was a solution concept for a game involving two or more players in which the player has nothing to gain by changing his own strategy. Meaning, if everyone has a strategy, and no one's gonna change it, and even by changing that strategy, still nothing will get gone. So, nothing is gained by it." He took off his glasses.

"You read the dictionary for fun don't you, Sir?" C.J. gave him a charming grin.

"It's a very good book, Claudia Jean. You should read it one day."

"I'll put it on my list, Sir." She smiled.

There as a pause while the President seemed to play something through his head.

"He also heard voices." The President got serious. "Do you think one has to be crazy to figure out the world's problems, Claudia Jean?" He put his glasses back on. "Or even our own." He looked back down at the paper.

"I don't, Sir."

"Either do I." He paused. He put his glasses back on and looked at the papers. "I don't want to go crazy figuring this one out." He looked conflicted.

"I won't let that happen, Sir." C.J. was all business. She had emotion in her voice still.

Bartlet smiled and nodded his head, "Yeah..." He slipped his reading glasses back on his face and looked back at his paper.

C.J. looked out the window. She'd made a promise to the President, and for now, he would be the only person she would be jumping off a cliff for. Of course, Danny didn't want her to jump off a cliff for him. He wanted her to jump off a cliff with him. But, C.J. had made a promise.

The car, holding C.J. and Bartlet continued its ride to the White House.

_I woke up this morning feeling lonely_

_There's so much my heart just does not understand_

Danny came home from his workout. Sunday was a day with nothing much to do. Nothing much to write, nothing much to do on a weekend anymore. The day ran though his head. He was tired.

_There were times when nothing really mattered_

_But now I find I care too much_

_There's life in everything I touch_

C.J. found herself, like many days, going to the office first before even going home. She hadn't slept in her own bed since Thursday night. She dropped her purse on her desk with a sigh. She caught site of Gail in her fish bowl.

Kate appeared in the doorway.

C.J. looked at her and sighed. She followed Kate out.

_Look what love has done to me_

_I am not who I used to be_

_Everything is changing, now we'll never be the same_

Danny took out his over night bag and started to pack. It was time to go back on the road again.

_Look at what love has done to us_

_Will we ever learn to trust_

C.J. nodded her head in the sit room as Kate spoke, a map of China and Russia on the screen behind her.

_We're running out of time, there's so little time_

Danny set his lap top in its carrying case.

_Baby look what love has done to me_

_Oh, yeah_

C.J. finally was able to go home, she dropped her bag so low, as she walked toward her bed room, it looked like she might start dragging it behind her.

_Now it's late at night, I'm here without you_

_I'm trying to make my way to where you are_

Danny sat on the edge of the bed. He turned on the Television. The news of the day, California and Kazakhstan, came into the room.

_Can't you see, I'll still be here waiting_

_Can't you see, our two hearts were always meant to be as one_

C.J. sat, alone, on the edge of her bed and lowered her head into her hand. She took in a loud breath and lifted her head, looking out at nothing.

_Look at what love has done to us_

_When will we ever learn to trust_

_We're running out of time_

_There's so, so little time, baby_

_Will you, look at what love has done_

Danny paused at the door to his apartment. He held his overnight bag and his leather laptop bag over his shoulder. He opened the door and walked out.

_Look at what love has done to us_

_When will be ever learn to trust_

_We're running out of time_

_Baby look what love has done to me_

_Look what love has done_

_Done to me_

–_**Look At What Love Has Done –Patty Smyth**_

* * *

**Monday Morning October 15th**

The Washington Post Office

* * *

Maisy answered Danny's phone.

"Hello, Danny Concannon's office. No, I'm afraid Mr. Concannon is on the road. May I take a message?..."

* * *

**THE END OF CHAPTER 12**


	13. Chapter 13: Body & Soul

**On The Road With Danny Concannon 05-06**

"_Body & Soul"_

**Companion Episode:** _The Cold & Two Weeks Out_

_Feedback is always welcomed good or bad. It helps a writer learn and write again._

* * *

"_I'm all for you, Body & Soul."_

**_As sung by _Billy Holiday in the episode,_ The Cold_

* * *

**

_A year and two months after the Nuclear Accident in California_

**LATE DECEMBER 2006**

Santa Monica-UCLA Medical Center

* * *

C.J. couldn't feel her fingers or her toes for that matter. Her brain wasn't functioning. She had to have Carol drive her to the hospital. All the time she felt in a haze of white. Her entire being felt numb. All she could think about was all the years she had let him slip through her fingers. All the years she had pushed Danny away and now time may be playing the cruelest of jokes of all, by taking him away for good, now that she finally had him, now that she finally knew she couldn't be without him. 

"Concannon," C.J. said to the woman behind the emergency room desk. "Daniel Concannon."

"Are you family...?" the nurse asked.

"I'm..." She didn't know what to say.

"She's his fiance," Carol interrupted. "C.J. Cregg," she said firmly.

C.J. leaned into the center of the counter top and gripped her hands around the edge. She lowered her head.

"I'm sorry..." the nurse said awkwardly. "But we need a family member present, to release..."

C.J. snapped at the woman, "He doesn't have any family here... we both don't..." she looked up. "We just came out here together..." she looked in the nurse's eyes.

"Let me see what I can do," the nurse awkwardly walked away.

"Yes, do that." C.J. snarled. "See what you can do. While, I'm just left here not knowing if my loved one is alive or..."

Carol took C.J.'s arm. "Come on, sit down."

"I can't do this..." C.J. sat down in a chair in the waiting room. "Not again..." she rattled off to herself. " I can't do this..." Memories of Rosslyn and Simon ran into her head. It was all happening again. She took a breath trying not to let her body tense up.

Carol took her hand in hers, on the hand rest, and rubbed it.

C.J. lowered her head. Her eyes were misty with emotion.

"Excuse me, Ms. Cregg," Another nurse's voice was heard.

C.J.'s head lifted up in a shot.

"Can you come with me..."

C.J. ran over to the nurse.

* * *

Present

**Monday Afternoon**

Three Days After the Nuclear accident in California

October 17, 2005

Office of COS, The White House

* * *

C.J. typed at her lap top. She looked out the window for a moment and then over at Gail. She smiled. She pulled it back in. 

C.J. started typing and soon found herself opening up her email and typing a letter. Two simple words: "I'm sorry." She addressed it to moment later her cell phone rang. C.J. looked around and picked up the phone from her desk.

"Hello?" She didn't recognize the number, but had a scared idea of who it was.

"Whatta you mean, I'm sorry." Danny's voice came over the phone.

"I wanted to apologize."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. Nothing there."

"I walked out on you."

"I know."

"I had to go." She looked down and held her hand on her forehead.

"I saw the news."

There was a pause.

"I can't answer your question right now." She lowered her head even further. Not even giving him the chance to go there.

"I understand." He said it firm and sweet.

C.J. saw in her mind how she had been ready to give Danny an answer that night, in the glow of the affections she felt toward him, but it was all different in the morning light of The White House.

"I just can't see you right now, you have to understand that–" she rattled off.

"I understand. C.J., I told you at dinner. You don't have to see me. Not until after the Inauguration, not _ever_ if you really want to."

"I wouldn't want that." It came out so quick she couldn't stop herself.

"Hummm," he said like he had that Friday, at dinner, when she revealed to him she wanted to see him.

Margaret walked in. "You have Josh on two."

She nodded her head and shewed a perplexed Margaret out of her office, shutting the door on Margaret's open, gaping mouth.

C.J. took a breath and leaned up against the door. "I have this work."

"I know you're under a lot of pressure right now. I know _reality's_ not your best friend. We _all_ feel that way right now. " He took a breath. "I don't want to be in your way, but... if you need someone... to talk to. Just talk. No strings attached." There was a pause between them. "I'm very trustworthy." There was a pause. "Anytime you want. I'm here." His words were clear and sincere.

There was a long pause.

"Anytime?"

"Anytime. I'm up late most nights"

"How 'bout tonight?"

"Tonight..." Danny was pretty shocked. "Would be fine..." He tried to push down his shock. He hoped his return flight wouldn't be delayed.

"I'd be late," she warned.

"I'll be awake."

"Okay." She took a deep breath.

"Okay." Danny took a breath.

They both hung up.

C.J. found a huge smile come to her face. Her eyes got big and her teeth showed large. She held the phone to her chest. She bit her lower lip.

The door was pushed and C.J. was bumped a few inches. C.J. wasn't very happy about that.

C.J. moved out of the way of the door and Margaret walked in.

"I'm sorry, but Josh–"

"Ahh, yeah. Of course," she said gleefully. She walked toward her desk and tossed her phone on it.

Margaret gave her an odd look. "Yeah... alright." And she left the room

The smile on C.J.'s face could be seen for miles. She sat down at her desk. After a brief moment she answered the line.

"Hello, Sailor," she said in her voice of old.

* * *

Later That night...

* * *

After C.J. left Vinick and Santos in the Oval, with the President, she was almost free to go. 

"I don't have anything else?" C.J. asked Margaret as she walked into her office.

"Nope."

"Is Leo still in the building?"

"No, he left."

"Oh." She sounded defeated.

There was a pause as C.J. walked toward her desk. She stopped and turned to Margaret. "I don't have anything?"

"No."

"Nothing on Kazakhstan, or election monitors?"

"No. You're good."

"Okay," she said with a deep breath.

"You alright?"

"Ahh, yeah. Yeah." She took her coat off the coat stand.

Kate whipped her head into C.J.'s office. "We need you in the sit room."

"It's happening?"

"Yeah." And Kate walked out of the room at a quick pace.

C.J. put her coat back on the coat stand and walked out the door.

* * *

The Apartment of Danny Concannon

* * *

Around eight O'clock Danny came back from his interview trip. It was a quick trip. There and back in a little over a twenty four hour period. 

He walked into his apartment building and strolled up to the second floor, a quick trip. He unlocked the door and placed his over night bag on the floor. He closed the door behind him and flipped his laptop bag onto the desk next to the entree way.

Danny took out his laptop and opened it, turning it on. He walked over to the kitchen and flipped the television. He started to cook himself dinner. Just a normal night for Danny.

Later that night...

Outside the home of Danny Concannon...

C.J. sat in her car. She looked down, not able to move. She looked out the window at Danny's building.

She looked up, her voice was filled with conflicting emotion. "Keep going," she said softly. She looked down and pulled in her tears.

The car started and she was driven away.

When she didn't show up that night, Danny understood. He knew in his heart, at least he told himself, that one day she would come. And then, they would have all the time in the world.

* * *

Over a year Later..

**LATE DECEMBER 2006**

Santa Monica-UCLA Medical Center

* * *

C.J. was ushered down a hallway by a nurse. 

"He was in a car accident." The nurse informed him as they walked.

"I know, I don't know anything else." They stopped in front of a few rooms.

"_I'm fine_." She heard Danny's gravely voice behind her and she almost broke down. "She's mine. You can let her in." He winced in a little pain.

C.J. turned around to see Danny's huge face smiling at him. She was never so happy in her life. She walked toward him in a hurried rush.

"Oww." Danny winced and put his hand on his side. "I have a few broken ribs. I'm fine," he assured her from a gurney-like bed.

C.J. kissed him.

"I got a call, I freaked out..." She let her purse drop from her shoulder to her wrist.

"I'm sorry about that. I was knocked out for a _little_ bit," he said in a joking manner. "Otherwise, I would have called myself."

"A little bit," she said with shocked concern. C.J. reached her hand toward the small bandage on his head. "Do you have a concussion?"

"I don't know. I'm fine."

"You don't know? You're fine?" She wasn't too happy with Danny's answer.

"I mean no. I don't." He was all confidence.

"You had me scared half to death, Danny." She almost whined.

"I'm sorry." He really was.

"What happened?"

"I got slammed on the freeway. I was lucky, I just got hit by the car that got hit." He smiled. "Don't worry, you have me around for a few more years," he laughed with a bit of sarcasm.

C.J. looked at him and held in her huge emotion.

Danny took her hand and smiled huge back.

C.J. shook her head at him. "Are they releasing you?"

"Yeah, I just have to fill out some forms."

She took a breath. "Okay..." She paused.

"Mr. Concannon." a woman came in. "If you could sign these for me?"

"Sure." Danny smiled and took the pen from the woman who held a clipboard for him.

"I'll be right back, okay?" She squeezed his hand.

"Where you going?" he asked signing the paperwork he had just read.

"I'll be right back." she assured him with a kissed. "I have to call work and tell them you're not dead, " she said dryly. She walked toward the door, lifting her purse back onto her shoulder.

C.J. walked out the door and took a step. She laid her back against the little section of wall between Danny's room and the room next to him. She held onto her purse over her shoulder, and leaned her head backwards against the wall behind her.

C.J.'s head shook as she silently broke down, letting all her emotions of the last hour come out of her. She cried violently and as quietly as she could, putting her hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs

She cried in the dark hallway, leaving her only in shadow, while next to her in the background, Danny, framed in the white light of his hospital room, had no idea of what was happening only a few feet steps away from him.

C.J. took a moment, sucked in her tears, shook her head, sent her fingers over her cheeks and under her eyes, pulled out a huge smile and walked back into Danny's hospital room.

* * *

A little over a year before

**TWO WEEKS OUT TO THE ELECTION**

October 25th, 2005

_A week after she stood up Danny

* * *

_

Danny heard a knock at his door, it was late very late, but people knew Danny was awake at all hours, so it wasn't strange. Danny checked the peep hole and opened the door.

"Good evening, sir," said the imposing black man, in a black suit, an ear piece in his ear. "Special Agent Sullivan." He showed his badge

"Hello." Danny, Mr. Nonchalant, didn't find the appearance of the Secret Service at his door odd in the slightest bit. Danny put his left hand in his jeans pocket and held onto the door with his right.

"I'm here with C.J. Cregg. I'll need to check your apartment before I can let Ms. Cregg enter the premises, Sir." The agent was all business all the time.

"Sure." He nodded his head, always obliging.

"I'm gonna have to ask you to not talk to Ms. Cregg. In any way. Not until I am done safely securing your home for her entry. These are department procedures. These instructions can not be altered, in anyway. Is this understood?"

"I understand." Danny moved his body to the side and let the agent through.

The agent's departure, into Danny's apartment, revealed C.J. in the hallway. She looked anxious.

Danny smiled and leaned up against the door frame. He looked away and looked down. It was odd.

The agent came back after a moment. "Thank you, sir."

"Thank you." Danny watched the agent leave his apartment

C.J. walked into the apartment and Danny closed the door.

"Small apartment," she said looking around.

"Thanks."

She turned to him. "I didn't mean..."

"I didn't think..." he assured her.

She walked toward the kitchen playing and pulling on the tie of her coat.

"You want something to drink?"

"No, no. I can't stay long." She turned to him "I just came to tell you. I just... I can't stay--"

"You came to my apartment to tell me you can't stay?"

"Yes..."

"Ahhh, okay?" he grumbled. She was perplexing, but oh so cute. He walked forward to her as she stammered and waved her hand from side to side.

"I can't, I just..." her words stammered out like a fast speeding train, running over anything Danny could have said at the moment. "You understand that right? You know me – you know me, maybe too well." She took in her last line for a fraction of a moment before moving on. "And if I do this– I mean really _do this _– and I don't mean anything physical, because that is_ not_ gonna happen right now, I mean no way, no how—I have a job to do and as much as I..." She looked into his eyes, "Because, I still work for the President and you still work for the Post, for now, and yes I wanna talk to you about that and help you with that —I do. I really _do_, but, I...I can't do this, _that_— anything---right now." She took in a breath.

"You wanna sit down, have a drink?" He paused. " Of water."

"I can't. I'm getting this out and I'm gone." She walked to the side, closer to the door.

"Okay." He nodded his head in his supportive way and mirrored her from his side of the room.

"I can't give you an answer—" She didn't look at him and swayed a little

"I didn't–" He tried to tell her he wasn't asking, but she looked up and talked over him.

"--And I can't stay here – and _not_ give you an answer – and even if I _give_ you an answer and you go away – and I know you said I don't have to see you until after the Inauguration, and love that, thank you, I appreciate that--but it's still not that simple. Not now. Not with all the things I have to do — not with the country in this tail spin."

"It's alright—" He was interrupted again.

"---And my life's just going along with it like some _warped _freight train on speed..." She looked up and away for a moment.

"I understand— "

She looked back at him running over his words again. "...And I know you want to get _on_ with your life, and I get that, I _so_ do. _But,_ if I stay here and _we _talk about this."

"We don't have to talk about anything you don't—" He took a step closer to her, but she kept on talking.

"--But, we will and somehow the conversation leads to it, and we'll start, and we'll get into it. _And _I won't be able to forget it, I'll mull it in my head for hours on end, wondering, _longing, thinking_," her head went from side to side. "About us, about _you_, about missing you, and _not_ missing you, _and_ I won't be able to give my work the kind of_ attention _it deserves, and t_hen_ the next two months, or so, fly by and I've lost the _one_ most amazing experience in my entire life. All because I gave you an answer." She finally took a breath, but kept on talking like a mad woman. She took a step closer to Danny. "We're just two weeks out on this thing and then two months to go after that." She put her hand on Danny's chest and paused. She could almost feel his warmth. "And so..." She seemed out of breath. She wouldn't take his eyes. "I just can't – I just can't do this right now– not yet."

Danny was silent.

"You understand, right?" She looked up into his eyes.

"I do." He nodded his head in his understanding way.

"You under..." She got caught in his eyes. She was breathless. She leaned in and took Danny's face in her hands, kissing him with a full deep breathed, moaning kiss.

Danny joined in right away, their faces moving from side to side.

C.J.'s hands moved from his face and somehow she found herself, with her body mostly, pushing Danny against the wall next to the door.

They parted with baited breath. It had been a long time since that had happened. They both seemed shocked, or maybe just out of breath.

"I just..." But C.J. was drawn back like a moth to a flame, but this time Danny took control, moving her back against the door way.

C.J. lifted up, Danny's hands on her arms, and her hand on his chest. She wouldn't give him eye contact.

"And that is why I can't stay..." She tried to sound professional, but her breath was heavy. She reached for the door, her eyes almost in tears.

And she was gone. Leaving Danny with the taste of her on his lips and a dazed look in his eyes.

Danny walked to his bedroom in a slow stunned walk, his hands in his pockets. He made it to his window just in time to look out and watch C.J. reach the bottom of his stoop..

_I've been waiting so long_

_You can make me free_

_You can make me cry_

_You can make it so much better_

_If you would only try_

C.J. tried not to look up at him, but she felt him looking. She wiped the tears that had been forming in her eyes.

The agent opened her door for her. C.J. put her hand on the car door and did what she shouldn't have done. She looked back to catch Danny in the window watching her. She was caught for a moment, but turned and got in her car.

_And if I must wait a lonely lifetime_

_Until I am with you, my love_

_I will wait but you'll be what I'm dreamin' of_

"**You Can Make Free"–William 'Billy' Joel **

Danny smiled. For he was almost home.

* * *

A year and four months later..

LATE FEBRUARY 2007

LA, California

* * *

C.J. handed her valet ticket to the valet attendant, her wedding and engagement rings gleamed in the California sunshine. 

C.J. walked up to the outside restaurant, her skin glowing with a tanned and freckled look, her sun glasses on her head, and work clothes on her body, a nice blue suit with a matching skirt and a grey shirt with a charcoal camisole underneath.

The sky was gorgeous with a light California breeze.

She took off her sunglasses just as the hostess approached her. C.J. opened her mouth, but turned to see her party had all ready arrived. C.J. walked toward a man at a table off to the side.

The man, about seventy five and dressed very well, stood when he saw C.J. approaching him. He had a kind face and small glasses.

C.J. smiled.

"C.J." The man put his hands out.

They shook hands

"Mr. Coleman," she smiled firmly.

"Please, call me Burton." He smiled.

"Burton." She smiled and sat down.

"I believe congratulations are in order." He smiled, sitting down. "I was told you just got married this month."

"A few weeks ago." She smiled and made herself comfortable in the seat. She set her purse next to her on the ground. "Thank you."

"Must be nice working in California now."

"It has its perks." She smiled and set her sunglasses on the table.

"I bet if we were in Washington we wouldn't be having such a lovely lunch outside like this."

"If this were D.C., we wouldn't even be having this lunch at all. I wouldn't have had the time."

"So, this new career change of sorts is a _semi-retirement _for you." He leaned back in his chair.

"I like to call it my extended summer of sloth."

He laughed.

"I'm glad you found that funny, I wasn't sure if I stepped over some kind of..." She gestured with her hand. "...a line."

"No." He laughed. "Not at all." He paused. "Thank you for meeting me here. I know you're busy these days, C.J."

"No, really. I do this thing all the time now. My pleasure. I'm getting calls, it seems every day now, from people, wanting to me to talk up business models, 501c3's. Start their own not-for profit—"

"Yes...well..."

"And have me throw in a little political advice while I'm at it," she joked.

"Which is?"

"Don't run." She took a pause before smiling.

"I'll remember that."

A waitress came over.

C.J. didn't have to look at the menu, "I'll have water with lemon, and a mixed green salad, extra tomatoes." She handed the woman her menu.

"The chicken is fine." Burton said and handed the waitress the menu.

"Thank you." C.J. thanked the woman who then walked away.

"You come here a lot?" Burton asked.

"It's my place. " She smiled and put her napkin on her lap with one drop. She looked up and smiled. "So, what can I do for you, Mr. Coleman?"

"Well, as you said, you are the woman of the hour. But, my guess is in all those people who call you... you don't take meetings with all of them."

"No." she smiled.

"I think your real question is what does a man who _owns_ everything want to do with...everything he owns?"

She smiled.

"I like to get it in there before anyone else. Knocks out that pesky tension."

"Good call," she said with a slight grin.

"I think what you've done with the Hollis Foundation is just wonderful work. I read that article you wrote for Vanity Fair. What you're doing just isn't even in the same class as some of the other foundations out there – and I've looked at them all."

C.J. looked at him funny. "That article doesn't come out until..." She got it. "Of course..." She lowered her head for a moment, feeling foolish.

"I know people."

"So I gather." She smiled. "Ahh... well..."

"You were saying..."

"Yes, well...ah..." She wasn't sure where she had stopped.

"The Hollis Foundation?"

"Yes...ahh.." She found the words, "Everyone wants to throw money at the larger problem before looking to see_ why_ the problem is large to begin with. Why spend the money if odds are it won't get to the people who need it. It's throwing a bandage on a wound that needs stitches, because a bandage looks good."

"Feed the tree before it gets overgrown and sickly."

"Work from the ground up."

"Yup."

"We may not be the most glamourous charity out there, but we're the only one dealing with this issue. If there's one single problem out there that's being ignored it's this one.

Two glasses of water were brought to the table.

Burton smiled at the woman and C.J. thanked her.

"Hence you're not throwing money at women's issues or poverty, or genocide."

"There's enough bad stuff out there to outweigh the good stuff. It's a fact of life, we can't help everything and everybody all the time. You just can't. So when I was asked to choose, I chose the one with..."

"...with the least amount of press coverage."

"We're talking null."

"I guess you learned a lot working in the White House."

"Yes." She paused. "I did." She paused. "A lot more than I bargained for."

Burton Coleman nodded his head.

C.J. looked at Burton, "So what _are _you looking at doing with your money?"

He smiled.

"I like to get things out in the open too," she said with a glint in her eye.

"I want to do something along the lines of what you're doing? I think you have the right idea."

C.J. took a drink of water. "There is still great work to do in Africa. Do you have an idea of the kind of funds your thinking about using?"

He smiled and looked her straight in the eye, "I want to give 1.5 billion. Every year. As long as I can, every year. As long as I can be _assured_ that all the money is put into action _within_ the year it's given and _not_ put into the capital for future giving." He paused. "I want to give this money to you. To the Hollis Foundation. As long as you and Frank Hollis are active members." He paused. "That is if you'd like to take it? You think you can set up a meeting for you, me, and Mr. Hollis to finalize this puppy?" He smiled.

C.J. took a smile to her face, her mouth opened slightly. "I think that can be arranged."

"I came to you, C.J., because I like what you're doing. It may have Frank Hollis's name on the front door, but it's your brains and your ideas that keep that ship going. And I like those ideas. I think you're doing great things, I can see that. Like I said, you're a class above the rest. I don't want to start my own charity when I like yours just the same." He took a breath. "I thought I wanted to give away most of my money to _charity_ after I died, but that wouldn't help the world now. I want to help the world _now_, C.J. Now, while I still have a body and the breath to see it. What you do helps beyond class, gender, ethnicity, people who were dealt the short straw in life. I like that. I want to be a part of that. People like us, we were lucky. We won the ovarian lottery the day we were born. I don't think that's one hundred percent fair, do you?" He laughed. "I bet you never guessed in your life time you'd have two men throwing millions of dollars at you. Did you C.J.?"

"No. No. I didn't." she stared him down. She tried not to show how shocked and excited she was.

"And no, I'm not dying, don't worry," he laughed a little at himself. He paused before speaking, "Truth is, I just woke up one day, looked at the world, and I don't want to wait. _I _want to get something done C.J.. While I still have time left."

C.J. looked at him and let the silence linger for a moment. "Believe me...I know _just _how you feel."

_To Be Continued...

* * *

_

**THE END OF CHAPTER 13**


	14. Chapter 14: Chaos & Blessings

**On The Road With Danny Concannon '05-'06**

"_Chaos and Blessings"_

**Companion Episode**: Two Weeks Out 7.14

_Notes: The title comes from something Bradley Whitford once said on a talk show. Please Review. It helps a writer know if they are making any impact. Good or bad. Thank you._

* * *

**LATE FEBRUARY 2007**

Santa Monica, California

The Concannon Household

* * *

"Yeah... No. I think that's a great idea." C.J. held her cell phone to her ear, while, at the same time, trying to hold onto her purse and a few groceries bags. She kicked closed the door with her foot. 

She smiled at the site of Danny, who greeted her with a kiss and helped her with her bags.

"Is this the advance copy?" he asked taking a magazine from her arm.

She smiled and nodded yes. "Okay, Carol. I'm home."

Danny made his way into the kitchen to drop off the bags.

"You're doing a great job. What?... No. I'm not... my first lecture date isn't until..."

"June!" Danny yelled from the kitchen.

She smiled. "June, I think I decided on June. I want to get to work on this as soon as I get in tomorrow...yeah. I'm home so I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks, Carol." She hung up the phone and sighed.

C.J. walked into the living room pulling off her scarf as she went. "It's nothing different from what I showed you," she called to Danny.

Danny walked into the living room looking at the magazine.

"Hello," he kissed her.

"Hello." She kissed him back.

"I wanna see what your editor did." He showed her the cover with pride. "Vanity Fair. Very nice." He kissed her again.

She looked nervous.

"Can't be that bad. They asked you to write another one."

"I know."

"See, see this is good. This is _very_ good." His eyes shined with pride.

C.J. smiled with her shy happy smile. "Just wait to read it, okay."

Danny smiled back and laughed. "Okay." He paused. "New things," he smiled.

"Yeah..." She dazed off.

Danny walked toward the couch.

"I had lunch today with Burton Coleman."

"Burton Coleman." Danny stressed and sat down on the couch. "The man owns more of the world than _God_."

"Oh no... not more than God..." She shook her head in a sarcastic way stretching out the words. "Frank Hollis has the market on that one."

Danny giggled, "I do like a man who knows how to have just _one_ monopoly." He took hold of his paper and folded it in half to finish reading his article. He looked around for his reading glasses.

"You'll have to tell that to Frank next time you see him. " C.J. walked closer to Danny in a slow saunter.

"Hummm..." Danny nodded his head and grabbed his glasses off the coffee table. He slid his reading glasses onto his head and started reading.

"Burton Coleman wants to give the Hollis Foundation 1.5 billion dollars..."

Danny let his paper drop below his head.

"Every year. Indefinitely."

Danny smiled huge and laughed, "Seriously..."

"Yeah..." She smirked.

Danny just nodded his head and smiled huge. How proud he was of her. He couldn't help but laugh at how amazing it all was.

* * *

**MARCH 2007**

Random House Offices, NYC

* * *

Danny shook hands with the man at Random House. Danny smiled. 

"This is gonna be a big hit, Danny. I just know it. Congratulations."

Danny took a breath. He was officially back.

* * *

_The Hollis Foundation Office's_

* * *

C.J. walked down the hall in a new kind of walk and talk, like from those from her past, and yet not. This was a whole new ball game. Things were popping. 

Flanked by three women, she walked toward her office. They talked about roadways and money issues. She was on her game. Everything she was working on was getting going. She was in the zone. Her phone rang.

"Hello, yes. No, I told you we can't wait until Friday. I want this thing signed by tomorrow and in front of those cameras by Thursday. Why? Because no one reads the paper on Saturday. Trust me." She hung up the phone and they turned a corner.

Carol came up to C.J. and showed her a few papers which she okayed and signed. A man came off the elevator and C.J. shook his hand with her wedding ring facing out. Chaos and blessings. Everything was happening at once.

* * *

**APRIL 2007

* * *

**

C.J. laughed, leaning against the kitchen counter. Danny had made another joke. She threw a tomato slice in her mouth. She lifted a glass of wine and drank it.

Food steamed in the background. A great weekend together, as usual, with her husband.

Danny kissed her neck and she giggled.

She faced him and their arms and lips entangled. First he just kissed her softly and pulled slowly off her lower lip. She giggled and gave him those bedroom eyes. Soon they got carried away. The food would have to wait.

They sunk to the ground. Being newlyweds had added that extra spark back in their relationship, not that it ever left, but what an excuse. For the first time in their marriage and the third time in their relationship they both became very familiar with a parquet floor.

The Grand Ballroom the Hilton, LA

"Ladies and gentleman our business woman of the year. Claudia Jean Cregg," said the woman from the podium.

The crowd of dinner guests applauded. C.J. stood smiling shyly. She kissed Danny and walked to the stage.

Danny looked at her with such pride. He used his fingers to whistle. He smiled his huge-cheeked smile and laughed. He nodded his head as C.J. accepted her award.

* * *

_A sunny Saturday in Santa Monica_

* * *

Danny sat at his laptop in the California sun, a hat and sunglasses on his head. C.J. swam in the pool. A copy of Fortune Magazine sat on the outdoor table. Its headline read: _Hollis & Coleman are giving it away._

Danny looked out at C.J. and smiled. Life was good. Life was busy, but life was good.

* * *

**LATE APRIL 2007

* * *

**

Danny fixed his lapel mic and looked into the camera. He put his hand to his ear to hear Tim Russert.

"I'm here, by satellite, with famed ex-Washington Post reporter Danny Concannon, he broke the Shariff scandal, Memo-gate, and a hosts of others, not to mention two Pulitzers to his credit. He has a new book out: _Lexicon: A dissection of journalism today and tomorrow_." Russert showed the book cover to the camera. "Danny, always a pleasure to have you on the program."

"Hey, Tim."

"So you really kick us all in the butt with this book."

Danny laughed. "It's just an honest account of the facts," he smirked.

"What's with the title, Danny? Lexicon. I wouldn't exactly call it a glossy of terms?"

"Well, my wife gets it."

"Yeah, C.J. would," he laughed.

"I think of it as collection of words in a language ... just on a certain topic. It's my reexamining of the language of journalism."

"Okay, let's start our round table..."

* * *

_The Home of Danny Concannon & C.J. Cregg_

* * *

Danny held a cup of coffee and watched the TV as the moderator spoke. 

"Danny Concannon's book_ Lexicon, _which just came out this week from Random House, raises a really good question. What are we in journalism really doing? Are we losing our vision? Our purpose?" He motioned to a person on the panel.

An unhappy woman in her late thirties started to speak. "Journalism has always been about an honest straightforward account of what happened that day–Concannon isn't capitalizing on anything different. Me good. You bad. Every industry has its share of bottom feeders."

A man on the panel got into it. "Oh, come on Jane. I don't think we as a business have been tittering toward this common denominator, I just think this book is here at the right time. We need a public debate on this topic. We need this debate, now. Maybe this will make the public a little more—"

"Oh, Paul, you and Ben Bradlee still think the pursuit of _truth_ is the holiest profession. Get over yourselves."

"Why, Jane? Are you holding back some truth I should know about?"

Danny laughed and took a drink of his coffee.

C.J. came up behind him and ran her hands around him.

* * *

_New York City

* * *

_

Hollis, Burton Coleman and C.J. all sat around Charlie Rose's round table. They laughed and talked business.

"Why this one?" Charlie asked. "Burton, why this foundation? Why now? Why not just start your own foundation. Hollis has been a success already. They don't need the money."

Frank Hollis laughed. C.J. smiled. They both looked Burton.

"Well..." He looked at C.J. "Because of this little lady, right her." He put his hand on C.J.'s hand.

C.J. smiled awkwardly.

"So, you got yourself a little find here?" Charlie joked with Frank.

"Looks like it."

The group laughed.

"Thank you both so much for being on the program." Charlie looked at his guests.

"Thank you, Charlie." C.J. said a few moments before Burton and Frank spoke together.

" Always a pleasure. Thank you and goodnight."

* * *

**EARLY MAY 2007**

**

* * *

**

Danny and C.J.'s mantel was no longer just crowed with Danny's achievements. The only piece of hardware C.J. had from her White House days was her Matrix award from Women in Communications. She was very proud of that, but now her trophies were more equal

If one looked at the fireplace, next to the photos and two Pulitzer prizes, one would now not only see C.J.'s Women in Business award and her Matrix award, but a small sliver thing in mention of her work in the non-for profit sector and a token for her Vanity Fair articles for her positive portrayal of strong and powerful women. It was nice and filled, and still waiting for more. Mixed in were photos from days past and days present, family friends and them.

Outside, past the fireplace and out the large glass window-door, in the California sun, C.J. lounged next to the pool, Jackson Browne on her I-pod radio, a small umbrella shading her alabaster, yet a little tan, skin from the heat, a diet Dr. Pepper in her hand. It was a day like she had dreamed of only a year or so earlier. All that was missing was the barbecue.

She bopped her head to the music, ignoring the world, as the blue water reflected as white flecks in her sunglasses. She set her drink back down on the table next to her and adjusted her long legs along the green deck chair, a kelly green, which managed to match her very small, but very present, bikini. She gave any woman in a music video to run for her money.

"C.J.?" She heard Danny's voice off in the front of the house. "C.J.?" he yelled. His voice sounded excited.

C.J. rolled the sunglasses off her nose and looked out from under them.

She took long strides, along the side of the pool, careful not to fall in, of course, her sheer robe flowing behind her. She slid open the large window leading into their living room.

"Number one!" Danny yelled, looking at her draped in the doorway.

"You're kidding!" she took off her sunglasses, her face large and full of teeth.

They walked hurriedly toward each other.

"Number one, NY Times Best Seller list. _Number one_!" He couldn't believe it.

C.J. squealed in glee. She ran her fingers over her husband's face.

"None of my books has ever been number one, not even the Bartlet bio." He was in shock.

"I know," she smiled large. "Did I tell you?" she laughed again from the back of her throat.

He kissed her.

She kissed him back and they got caught up in the excitement for a moment.

"I couldn't have done this—" He was overcome with emotions. "I never could, not without you." Danny had his faith again. Faith and joy of his work and the book showed it. Danny finally noticed what C.J. was wearing. "You look _amazing_?"

"What?" But her words were stopped by a kiss.

"You...I mean..." He kissed her neck.

C.J. let out a sound, and they caught each other's eyes. C.J. let out a laugh of glee and they looked at each other with evil eyes; sneaking to the ground. She did look good.

* * *

**ALMOST FIVE WEEKS LATER**

Northwestern University, IL

* * *

C.J. walked down a long underground hallway, to the large auditorium, Carol and Charlie flanked her at either side. She put out her hand and Charlie handed her a Starbucks cup. She downed it as much as she could and sent it back to Charlie. 

Carol threw a paper in her face. "This is a list of the sponsors for the Sullivan Project."

"We don't start talks on that until next week."

"Yes," Charlie chimed in. "But, this is your first lecture event—"

"I know that..."

"And it's a good idea at these events," Carol chimed in

"–To know the names of people sponsoring to your organization—" Charlie continued

"Helps to bring about other donations in conversation—" Carol went on.

C.J. watched Charlie and Carol finish each other's sentences like a ping pong match.

"Not that we need it. But, it's good to let people know that other people wanna do the work you and Mr. Hollis are doing—"

"With interest brings donations."

"Other people's money brings other people's money."

"Okay, you two need to stop doing that." She paused for a moment, feeling lightheaded. "You two are giving me a headache." She took the paper from Carol as they rounded a second corner and looked over the paper.

Charlie saw a strangeness on C.J.'s face. "C.J. you, okay?" Charlie asked.

"I'm fine." She snapped. "I'm just..." She felt uneasy. "I'm just a little nervous."

Carol looked at her strangely.

"About speaking in front of 500 people?" Charlie asked with a snide verve in his voice.

C.J. gave him a look.

"I'm just sayin'. You spoke to millions of people on television for a living for like...I don't know almost six years so—"

"That was a _long _time ago."

"And after that you spoke to the Joint Chiefs of Staff on a _regular_ basis." He had sass.

"I'm fine. I'm just having one of those --getting back on the horse moments."

"Okay. But, after everything you've done I don't know why you're getting nervous about talking to a few hundred women and a couple 'a co-eds."

C.J. gave him a look. "When do you go back to school?"

"I got like three weeks left on my summer vacation, I could knock off early, get a couple of months worth of reading done for my law boards-----But, I'm gonna guess you're gonna wanna deal with the pleasure of my company for a little while longer." He smiled.

A phone was heard ringing.

"Is that my phone?" C.J. asked.

Charlie nodded and answered the phone he was holding for C.J. "Yeah."

"I'm not here." C.J. looked over at a second page Carol was showing her.

Charlie put his hand to the phone. "It's Danny."

C.J.'s face smiled and she put her hands out.

Charlie handed her the phone.

"Hi," C.J.'s voice changed to a puppy dog. She handing the paper back to Carol.

They turned another corner.

Charlie held onto to C.J., giving her a little push, to make sure she turned the right corner.

"Hey." Danny spoke in all his love at the other end. "When are you coming back?"

"Oh, haven't you heard? I'm not – I've run off with a pool boy named Pedro."

"Well, that's good since I'm hanging with a hairdresser named Harriet."

C.J. giggled.

Charlie gave her a strange look.

C.J. coughed to regain herself. "How's the book tour?"

"Pretty much like all book tours. Small venues and writer's cramp."

"No young women throwing their underwear at you?" she smirked.

"Oh, sure. Nothing makes the twenty somethings hot like political intrigue and terse

debate."

"Sure did for me." C.J. smirked.

Danny laughed in his devilish way. "Lucky me," he trilled out the words. "When are you coming home?" he said in the slow soft tones he reserved for all his sweet seriousness. He missed her.

"Thursday—" She drew out the word like it was the bluest word she knew.

"Hummm." Danny was lost in thought for a moment. "I'll be home on Tuesday." He said with disappointment.

"You'll just have to wait." C.J. smiled but something made her body feel like it jerked. Maybe it was the walk. She slowed herself down. It had been a while since she'd done a walk and talk with so many turns.

"I gotta go. This thing is gonna start soon."

"Same here." C.J. sounded uneasy and Danny could tell.

"You, okay?"

"Yeah." She brushed it off. "Little bit of nerves."

"Back on the horse stuff?"

"Yeah."

"It'll pass as soon as you get back behind that podium." He paused. "I called to wish you luck."

"I don't need luck," she joked. "Haven't you heard, I'm magic."

"I'd say so," he said in his devilish voice. "Remember." He paused. "This is what you're best at," he said with all sweetness. "Love you."

"Love you."

They each hung up the phone.

C.J. handed the phone to Charlie. She felt strange again. She took a breath. They stopped short and C.J. didn't feel like herself. "Why have we stopped?" C.J.'s eyes didn't look so good. She looked pale.

"We're here." Carol could see something was wrong. "C.J.?"

Charlie pointed toward a door. "The entrance to the dais is though here, the chair, for when you're done, will be to your right, don't forget to greet Sandra Noel, she'll be at the left when you first come in. You can go directly to the podium, which will be in the center of the stage."

C.J. just looked straight ahead. She seemed to not hear Charlie.

"C.J.?"

"Bathroom?" she almost grunted

"What?" Charlie asked.

"Where's the bathroom?" She looked like she might pass out.

"Its right–" Charlie pointed behind him, but before he could finish talking C.J. ran into it.

Charlie turned away at the sound of gagging.

After a moment, C.J. appeared in the doorway, a little off center. She stood up straight and walked straight ahead. "I'm ready."

C.J. entered the stage to the sounds of "Ladies and gentleman Ms. C.J. Cregg."

* * *

_An Hour & a Half Later..._

**

* * *

**

"You go in?" Charlie protested in front of the bathroom.

"I'm not going in, you go in," Carol protested.

"Oh, no. This is not part of the bargain -- I am not going into the ladies room. No way. No how."

The sound of gagging was heard, from C.J.

"No way," Charlie was firm.

"Fine. I'll do it." Carol gave him a nasty look.

"I'll go get her a soda." Charlie he defended himself. "I'm the man, this is what we do." He walked off

Carol walked into the bathroom tentatively.

"C.J.?" She looked around the empty bathroom, around one corner and then another.

"Here." Carol heard the sound of C.J.'s weary voice.

Carol caught site of C.J. pulling herself out of one of the stalls and leaning and sitting up against the wall of the bathroom. She took a breath. A deep breath. She let her head fall back to feel the cold tile.

"How are you doing?" Carol questioned.

"Okay." C.J. took a gulp, her head so far back against the wall her eyes saw the ceiling. C.J. took a breath.

Carol leaned down so that they were eye level. "Charlie went to get you a soda." She looked at C.J.

"I'll be fine." She took a deep breath. "Nerves."

"You don't get nervous about this kind of thing. Not like this."

C.J. was silent. They just looked at each other.

"C.J." Carol took her attention. "I think you should call Danny," she said softly.

She saw Carol's face and C.J.'s face fell.

"I think you need to call Danny."

The rest of the blood left C.J.'s face, she looked drained. "I need to go home." She tried to get up.

Carol made sure to help her.

Once on her feet, C.J. lost her footing and Carol had to take hold of her.

"Be careful."

"I need to go home." She repeated in a haze. Her hand ran over the cold tile wall for leverage. Not here, I don't want to do this here," she stammered in a daze. "I wanna see my own...doctor.

"You still have two lecture dates."

"Cancel them." C.J. took an uneasy step. "I need to go home."

Carol took hold of C.J. "Okay."

C.J. looked scared out of her mind.

* * *

_The Home of Mr. Danny Concannon & Mrs. C.J. Cregg_

**Tuesday

* * *

**

Danny walked into his own home a happy man. He was a success. A big red dog ran in and attached him sweetly. He petted the dog vigorously for a moment, running his hands under the dogs ears as he barked.

"Hey, Aster. Hey boy."

The dog ran away, through the living room, and out the back door.

"C.J.?" He caught site of C.J. sitting in the living room.

C.J. looked like a zombie, just sitting there, looking straight ahead, her hands resting on her lap.

Danny dropped his bag in the foyer. "What are you doing home? I though you weren't coming home until Thursday." He smiled, an evil smile, wondering if she had come home early for him. "C.J.?" He walked down the small set of stairs.

C.J. said nothing.

Danny dropped his laptop bag in the living room.

"C.J.?" He laughed since she wasn't answering.

C.J. still said nothing.

Danny walked up to her. "C.J.?" He sat on the glass table in front of her. "C.J." He put his hands on her shoulders.

C.J. jumped.

"Whoa, whoa it's just me." He ran his hands over her arms and onto her hands.

"I'm sorry..." she trailed off and looked around and back at him. "When did you get back?"

"I've been calling your name for like _ten minutes_," he laughed a little with concern. "I thought you weren't coming home 'til Thursday?"

"I came home early." She took a breath.

"I see that," he laughed. He could tell something was wrong.

"I wasn't feeling well..."

"Okay..." He nodded his head and held her hands.

"I wanted to see my own doctor..." Her voice seemed tired.

"You okay?" he got concerned based on how she looked. "I know you've been tired lately."

C.J. looked down and didn't answer him.

"C.J." He moved his head to get her eyes.

She didn't answer him again.

"You're scaring me here..." he laughed uncomfortably. "C.J." She didn't look at him. " C.J., look at me."

She raised her head and looked him in the eyes.

"What is it?" He paused. "Tell me. Whatever it is." His eyes got misty. "We'll deal with it... Just tell me what it is?"

Danny looked frighten out of his mind.

"I'm pregnant," she said breaking the air.

There was a long silence as Danny's mouth opened wide. "I'm sor...What?" his voice was a husky soft whisper. There was a short silence. "You're..." It took him a moment to say it. "Pregnant?" He was shocked.

"Yeah." She gulped.

"You're... sure?"

"Yeah..." she nodded her head.

"You're pregnant?" Danny's face was huge and filled with so much emotion one didn't know if he was happy or sad. He was moved. He was shocked.

C.J. nodded her head.

"How could—I mean...I know how... You're pregnant?" His face went ashen.

She nodded her head.

Danny's smile was huge. He laughed. He shook his head at her. His smile got serious in a scared instant. "Is this safe? I mean for you----if this isn't—"

"It's safe."

Danny took a heavy sigh.

"Women have heathly babies at 45 all the time . . . but I guess I'll be forty six." She sounded deflated near the end of that sentence.

"I'll be fifty," he bemused. Danny fell back in his seat.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Yeah." He was still amazed.

"You're..." He couldn't even say the words. "Pregnant?" he could feel the emotions in the center of his forehead. "You're pregnant?" He took in a breath.

She ran her hands over his face; her face was full of emotion.

"Do you want..." Danny was so moved he couldn't really speak. "I mean do you...?"

"Do you?" she asked softly

Danny opened his mouth to speak and nodded his head. "If you... if you do..."

"I do." She almost cried out softly finishing his sentence. "I do." She said breathlessly, almost shocked herself. A huge smile came to her face. "I really do." She said with the knowledge that this would her last shot.

Danny laughed out his tears as the damn broke inside of him. He sighed in relief.

She nodded her head. "I do."

"So do I," he said with confidence. He ran his head against hers.

She laughed through her own tears.

"You're having my baby," he said in a joking matter.

C.J. laughed through her tears. "Yeah..." she smiled.

Danny smiled huge. He looked as if he had been hit in the head with a frying pan.

"How..." He looked her over. "How far along are you?" His voice had that amazing Michigan rasp filled with the emotion of utter amazement.

"What?" C.J. smiled through her tears.

"How far along are you?" He ran his hands over her upper arms looking at her with amazed eyes.

"Oh." She sucked in her tears. "A little over two weeks out on two months."

"Six weeks," he said with an exhale of emotion. Danny's voice was so full of quiet emotion, as if his heart might explode right there.

C.J. nodded her head.

."So, in about six more weeks, we can start telling people?" His grin was huge.

"Yeah..." She nodded her head. She was holding in her tears.

Danny started to laugh, "You're due in February..." He was agog.

"Yeah..." she nodded her head. "The first... three days before--"

"Our anniversary." He ran his hands over her arms. He was speechless for a moment. He was floored. "This doesn't seem real."

"I know."

Their heads met.

There was a huge pause.

"I'm scared, Danny."

Danny took a breath. "I know." He nodded his head, consoling her.

Their heads met as they both sucked in tears through huge smiles.

Danny kissed her hands and ran his face along her palms.

C.J. took a huge breath. It was just like Danny had predicted. New things were again at hand. Everything always seemed to happen at once: chaos and blessings.

* * *

**THE END OF CHAPTER 14 **


	15. Chapter 15: Every New Begining

**On The Road With Danny Concannon 05-06**

"Every new beginning, is some beginning's end (This is your life, you made it this far)"

**Companion Episode**: Welcome To Wherever You Are.

_Notes: Please review. You know how helpful it all is. Thanks. _

_West Wing Characters: Toby, CJ, Danny & Alana Waterman_

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Maybe we're different, but we're still the same

We all got the blood of Eden, running through our veins

I know sometimes it's hard for you to see

You come between just who you are and who you wanna be

If you feel alone, and lost and need a friend

Remember every new beginning, is some beginning's end

**----Bon Jovi**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Present: October 31st, 2005**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"What was that!" Alana yelled at Toby. "I thought we decided." Toby's lawyer was not very happy

"We didn't decided anything––."

"Just tell him it was your brother."

"My brother didn't do anything."

"He told you about a secret—"

"He implied."

"He implied–insinuatated–I don't care. He told you about a military shuttle– something he wasn't even supposed to joke about in present company."

"Yet he didn't leak the information to the New York Times."

"No, he didn't, Toby," she was exhausted by him. "I know he's your brother, but I don't think he'd want you to..." Her mind quickly changed subjects. "Ya know, your sense of loyalist boggles my mind, Toby. Especially ..._especially_, considering the circumstances. So I'll say it again--- I don't _care_ how remorseful you feel, you may have done the _actual_ deed, but _they_ helped you. Even if they didn't mean to." She was angry, but now she really got livid. "'Cause who would have guessed that _you _of all people would have done this, but we all do _odd things _when our emotions are put through the ringer and I think he'd understand that! So it's either you hand in C.J. Cregg or your brother here, or _you're _going to jail. I'm gonna guess you pick the one of those three _who_ can't go to jail over this."

"They didn't do anything."

"It doesn't matter if it was a hypothetical or implied unconsented gesture. They gave you _clues_. _Clues_ you put together in your crazy little head and called Greg Brock of the New York Times. And, even though I believe you when you say --- C.J. or your brother and you didn't come up with this thing together, it does not matter, Toby -- the only thing keeping Blake here from nailing C.J. to the wall is the little fact that you won't admit her little talk put those wheels turning in that _fat _little head of yours to lead you to do _what_ you did."

"I did this. I did this! Not C.J. Not my brother! I won't–I will not defile the names of two people I care about...two people that..." He got caught in his emotion. "I won't derail someone else's life for something I did. This is my bed."

"And you're gonna lie in it," she said sarcastically nodding her head.

"Yeah." He put his hands out as if to say, "that's it."

"And you'd let the election...you'd let it _all_ just happen, because of your _stupid, _egoistical sense of duty." She took a breath. "I've never met a man who held so many lives in the palm of his hand like you and _wouldn't_ do anything about it."

"Yeah, well, I'm a saint," he said in deep sarcasm.

"Yeah, you're something." She paused. "Aren't we glad our future relies on you." She was as sarcastic as one could get.

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**(A Year Later)**

**October 31, 2006**

"_American Life"_

Santa Monica California

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Danny reached his arm around to C.J. It was the first thing he liked to do when he woke up. It was the best way to wake up.

She felt his fingers over her nightgown and he could almost hear her smile as she sighed.

"Good Morning," she said in a sexy haze.

"Good Morning." Danny said in his groggy voice. He kissed the inside of her neck.

C.J. felt Danny run his bearded kisses down her back, "Danny, I have to go to work."

C.J. rolled onto her back. She was now looking up at Danny who was next to her and almost on top of her at the same time.

He grinned at her. "You're the boss, you can be late," he joked.

A look came into her eye. "Yes, actually, I could." She grinned for a moment and then kissed him back.

He ran his hands over her body.

In quick time they helped each other off with the little amount of clothes they were wearing.

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"Yeah, no. That's good." C.J. stood at her kitchen counter holding onto her red coffee cup. "No, I'll be in by 9:30." C.J. felt Danny's hands run over her body as he passed. "Yeah..." She looked up and smiled with a wily grin. She took hold of his face and gave him a huge deep kiss. She let go and smiled.

Danny raised his eyebrows and walked backwards for a moment. He knew what that was for.

Danny's cell phone rang. He answered it in a quick motion. "Yeah. No. Yeah, I can email you the next chapters tonight..."

"If we use the five thousand in work permits I don't see—"

"No, I have a satellite interview, maybe Friday..."

"Only if we can get the capital..."

They both talked over each other like delegates at the UN or men and women in Parliament.

"Sounds good." Danny hung up just as C.J. did the same.

Danny walked up to C.J. and kissed her again.

"You know if you're not careful, I'll never leave the house."

"I'd have no problem with that," he grinned. "So, listen... you have next Friday free?"

"Friday night?" She took some papers and started to put them in her large purse.

"I was thinking more like the entire day. Go down to Napa Thursday night. Spend the weekend."

"I can move some things around. Any special occasion?"

"Well, I was looking at the calendar yesterday..." He gestured with his coffee. "And well, it'll be a year next Friday." He took a sip from her mug.

"Really? A year." She was floored.

"Yeah."

"Wow." She was taken a back. "It doesn't seem that far away." She was off somewhere.

Danny ran his hands over her shoulders and back. "You thinkin' about Leo."

She turned her head toward him. "Yeah, sorry."

"Don't be sorry." He assured her, bobbing his head, and looking her in the eye. "Don't ever be sorry for how you feel."

"A year." She was still floored.

"Well, that's how I count it. I don't know how you count it." He had that devilish tone in his voice.

"No, no." She got a little grin on her face. "That's how I count it."

"Good," he laughed.

"But, Friday's the 10th."

"Yeah..."

"It was the ninth."

"Well, it was Wednesday night, but technically, truthfully..." He smiled. "It was the early Thursday morning. So I choice the tenth." He smiled.

"I like that." She kissed him.

"Plus, ten's my lucky number." He grinned.

"I gotta go," she said, disappointed.

"Okay. Go make the bacon." He leaned on the counter and smirked at her with those eyes.

C.J. gave him a grin back to match it. She took her bag and was off.

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C.J. walked out of her house with a smile on her face. She walked down the path toward the driveway. When she reached her side of the car she caught sight of the kids on the block going to school, dressed in their Halloween costumes. She stopped and smiled at them as they passed. She took a breath and put the keys to her mustang in the car's door.

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**The Hollis Foundation HQ**

**LA, California**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Hey Boss," Carol called out to C.J.

"Morning," she smiled and walked past Carol and into her office. She carried a newspaper under her arm.

Carol followed C.J. into C.J.'s huge office with large glass windows and a large desk in front of them.

"Steve stopped by. He seemed pretty mad you weren't in at nine."

"Yes, well serves Steve right for not making an appointment," C.J. said with a glint in her eye and some fun in her step. C.J. made her way behind her desk and dropped her bag, and the paper, on top of it.

"And the Fisher brothers changed their appointment from Thursday to Wednesday."

"Carol how's my calendar look next Friday?"

"The tenth? Pretty open. You have a meeting in the afternoon with Mr. Hollis."

"Is that it?"

Carol looked down at her pad. "That's all that's pressing." She looked up. "You have to approve some plans that are due, but we were gonna wait for the Hollis meeting and finalize them the next day."

"Okay, do this. Call Frank– ask him if he has time to meet with me on Thursday afternoon and we can finalize the plans by five."

"Check."

"If you can do that. Put a do not disturb sign on my Friday calendar and we're good."

"You're not coming into the office?"

"No. Danny and I are going to Napa."

"A little romantic getaway."

"Something like that."

"Anything special?" she asked.

"It's kinda... our..." she threw it off. "It's been a year."

"A year!" she got giddy. "That's so wonderful." She smiled. "On the ninth?" Carol asked.

"Or the tenth, how ever you see it..." She laughed it off, remembering what she and Danny had talked about that morning.

"Wait, November ninth?" She paused for thought.

"Yeah." C.J. looked up from what she was doing.

"It's been a year since November 9th? Since the election!"

C.J. smiled, but in a professional way. "Yessss," she said as if to say AND? C.J. put her hand on her hip and looked at Carol.

"No, nothing, I just. " She smiled large. "_C.J._" her eyes almost grinned.

"You may go now."

Carol walked toward the door. "November ninth." She shook her head and smirked. Soon she had left C.J.'s office leaving the door open, as she usually did unless C.J. asked. Old habits.

C.J. sat down and started her work for the day.

After a moment Carol walked in. "Mr. Hollis says he can't do Thursday next week, but Wednesday would be better. I penciled him in for your lunch." C.J. nodded her head.

"Perfect."

"Also, Greg Tomlin just called to say he needs to move your meeting with him on Thursday the 9th to sometime Wednesday. I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with that, it makes your day jammed packed."

"How does that make my Thursday?"

"Ahhh..." Carol looked down. "It's completely open now."

"Really?" She paused and smiled. "I'm having the staff meeting, right?"

"Yeah."

"Change the staff meeting to Wednesday, too."

"But, that means—"

"I'll be running around like a chicken with my head cut off." She reached for the phone. "I'm fine with that." She smiled. "I've had practice."

"Okay." Carol smiled and walked back to her desk.

C.J. dialed her phone.

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**The Home Of Danny Concannon and C.J. Cregg**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

At home Danny typed furiously. He pecked at the keys and nodded his head when he wrote something good. He was in the zone.

The phone rang and he looked at the display. He hit the button.

"Hey," he said. "Let me just finish this thought." He continued typing.

C.J. waited.

"Okay," he said, stopping his typing.

"I got Friday clear."

"Fantastic."

"It happens my Thursday is wide open. You wanna go down Wednesday night. You have plans?"

Danny put his hand out and held them in mid-air. "Let me check my calendar." He paused for a moment. "Ahhh... Yeah... I'm free."

C.J. laughed, "You're really loving this whole hermit thing, aren't you?"

"You have no idea," he laughed.

"You wanna make the plans."

"I'm on it."

"Good bye," she laughed.

"See ya," he yelled toward the speaker phone.

They hung up their phones.

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**Later in the day...**

Hollis Foundation HQ

LA, California

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Danny's on line one," came over the intercom.

C.J. hit the blinking line and picked up the phone. "Hey," she smiled.

"I couldn't make plans at the place you like with----"

"The red and gold grapes..."

"Yeah, but I made one with the place with the thing in the lobby and the green ivy. And I happened to get us the last table at the Mustard Seed for dinner on Friday night."

"Sounds good."

"Gooood..."

"Your voice sounds strange-- what's going on?"

"I painted the guest room."

"I thought we were gonna to do that this weekend?" C.J. set some papers aside and continued her work while talking to Danny.

"We said that last weekend."

"True."

"The color looks weird."

"It looks weird."

"I can't explain it."

"It just looks weird."

"It's off."

"Is it the green or the blue?""

"The green."

"The green looks off?"

"I can't explain it." Danny just stared in the empty room. "I've just been staring at it. It looks different."

"I think you've been inhaling the paint fumes."

"That could be it." He cocked his head. "I'm repainting it." He sounded like he had finally decided it.

"Don't go wild, Picasso."

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**Later that day...**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Danny walked out of his house; the sky was darker now, and he was dressed in a nice suit. He hummed as he walked to his car.

"Hey, Danny." A woman waved to him. She held onto her two kids, a small Spiderman and an even smaller Show White. Danny waved back. He smiled and got into his car.

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**The Local NBC affiliate**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Danny walked into the studio.

"Hey, Danny," a woman with a headset said to him like it was old hat.

"Hey."

"You can sit here. Tim should be with you in about fifteen." She looked him over. "What is that?" She looked at a smudge on his face. "Paint?"

Danny laughed and tried to rub it off his face real quick.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We're here with Danny Concannon coming to us live from LA. Danny, say hello to Katie Witt, I think you're old colleagues." Tim Russert did his intro.

"Hey, Katie."

"Okay, let's start our topic."

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**6:31 PM**

**The Home of C.J. Cregg and Danny Concannon**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

C.J. watched a few kids in costumes pass her path as she got out of her car. She smiled and let them pass. She walked up the path to the front of the house.

She opened the door to the smell food.

C.J. walked into the kitchen through the living room, past the large cases of books.

"You're cooking?" she said with a nice smile and a sweet voice. She saw Danny, with a towel over one shoulder, in front of large pots of steaming food.

"It's my turn." He kissed her.

"It's always your turn." She took a piece of carrot off the counter and took a bite.

"You tried that chicken, that time."

"True," she smiled and nodded her head.

Danny smiled at C.J., his huge smile that made his entire face beam.

Just a normal day in their new lives, but C.J. felt a sudden shudder. It was a good shudder, but unexpected. She suddenly felt how lucky she was to be in the place she was.

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That night they both got ready for bed as usual. Danny was in the bathroom. C.J. sat on her side of the bed rubbing lotion into her hands.

Danny walked out of the bathroom and turned off the light. The night stand light still shown over C.J.'s side of the bed. Danny made his way into his side of the bed.

C.J. felt his presence and turned her body into the bed.

Danny kissed her neck from behind. "Do you smell like lilac?" he asked.

"I do," she smiled.

Danny smiled. "Good night." Danny kissed her.

"Good night." She kissed him back

Danny wrapped his arms around C.J. and they settled into bed.

The day was over. But, one more thing.

"Danny?" She smiled feeling his body next to her.

"Yeah..."

"Pick a number?"

"A number?" he said, his face nestled in her body.

"Pick a number," she turned to face him.

"Okay?" he trailed off wondering where it was going. "Ahh...twenty three." He laughed.

"Okay." She nodded her head. "February third."

"What's February third?" he asked with a sly grin.

"Oh, I don't know..." She gave her famous grin. "I thought maybe...you know...you'd finally marry me."

He showed her that famous huge smile with a half opened mouth. He looked her over. "Okay." He nodded his head slowly with glee.

She grinned.

He wrapped his hand around her body.

C.J. turned toward her side of the bed and turned off the light.

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**(A Year Later)**

**October 31st 2007**

"_A Mortal Lock"_

**Brooklyn, NY**

_Special Guest Star Sheila Kelly as Sheila_

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C.J. stood in front of the small Brooklyn house, sandwiched between rows of yellow and white houses. C.J. took a breath, two kids on bikes rode past and she made her way toward the porch. She put her hands in the pockets of her open rain jacket sending it a little forward in front of her.

C.J. took a walk up the five steps, onto the old porch, and looked around. She knocked on the door and waited. Nothing. She tried to look in a window, but saw nothing, she knocked again. A tall woman, in her early forties, with fine features and dark hair answered the door.

The woman had an inquisitive look on her face, and a large bag over her shoulder, she wore very fitted work out clothes over her toned body. She didn't open the screen door.

"I'm sorry." C.J. cocked her head. "I must have the wrong..." she motioned behind her.

"No. Naw," she said in her Brooklyn tones. "You got the right place, hold on." She moved her head slightly behind her. "Toby!" she yelled. "Someone's here to see you!"

Just as she spoke Toby walked into the frame of the doorway, holding a glass of ice water.

There was a pause as Toby looked caught.

"Hi," he said in a soft shocked voice.

"Hi." C.J. hadn't seen Toby in nine months.

"You two know each other?" the woman asked.

"Yeah..." Toby said with almost a breathless whisper.

"I'm going to work." The woman looked C.J. over. "You want anything?" she motioned toward Toby with her head.

"No, I'm fine." Toby walked toward the door.

The woman opened the screen door and walked out while Toby walked forward and took her place behind the screen door.

"What are you doing here?" he asked with his hand on the screen door.

"Happy Flag Day," she said dryly.

"Flag Day's in June."

"Oh, well..." she dryly droned off.

There was a pause between them.

"You good?" he asked.

"Yeah. You?"

"Good." He paused and laughed. "I wished you'd called first." He laughed. He paused and looked down. He looked up. "No telephone?"

"It helps when someone actually answers it."

"Yeah," he laughed. "I've been busy." He looked away for a moment.

"You gonna invite me in?" She smiled.

"I wish you'd called..." he laughed uncomfortably. "I have all this work." He took a breath. "_I wish _you had called." He laughed his uncomfortable laugh again. "Maybe, if you come back tomorrow..." he smiled a sad smile and started to close the door.

"Toby?" she squealed.

He looked up at her.

"I came all this way," she said with a question mark as to what was going on.

He looked at her and her appalled face. "I'm sorry you did that." He really meant that. And with a melancholy look closed the door on her.

"Toby!" she yelled. "Don't' you–" She went to the open window. "Toby!" she shouted. She didn't see anything. "I can't believe..." She went to another window, sure she saw him walking inside. "Toby!" she yelled and got nothing. "Don't you do this–Toby!" She walked down the step and yelled up. "Toby you come down here and let me in!" C.J. walked, with loud steps, down the front porch and started to walk backwards looking up. She saw an open window. "Toby!" She took two more steps, faced the house, now in the middle of the street. "Toby Ziegler don't you let a pregnant woman yell for you out in the middle of the street!"

After a moment the door opened and the screen door swung back and forth as Toby passed onto the porch. There was a pause before he spoke. "You're what?" he yelled from his top stoop.

C.J., feeling a little stupid, pursed her lips and pulled her coat down to her elbows and off to the side, revealing her six month, almost seven month, pregnant stomach -- as if to say, yeah you ruined the surprise, you jerk.

Toby let out an audible gasp. He was deeply moved. He slowly walked off the steps and down to her, tears almost in his eyes.

She smiled at him as he looked over her in awe.

"Hey, Mr. Ziegler," yelled one of the kids from the sidewalk. "You better marry that woman."

C.J. and Toby started to giggle.

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"I'm sorry about the mess." Toby walked quickly toward a large table in his small dinning room, in front of a small kitchen. The table housed piles of papers, a few glasses and a cigar smoking in an ash try. "I have mid terms and papers to correct." He picked up the cigar and ashed it, quickly waving his hand to get the smoke out of the way. "Sit, sit." He took a few papers off a chair and motioned her to sit.

C.J. sat down on the chair. She took off her jacket to reveal she was wearing a black skirt and a loose burgundy shirt with a V-neck line that had a nice pattern on either side. She set the jacket behind her. Without the coat, she was obviously pregnant.

"Is that okay? We can go in the living room, but it isn't much better---"

"No, I'm fine."

"You wanna a glass of water– milk?"

"Water's fine."

Toby took an empty glass from the table, he smelled it. "Bourbon." He laughed and put it down. He found a small glass in a cabinet and took a pitcher from the refrigerator.

"That woman live here?

Toby walked over to her and handed her the glass of water.

"Sheila? No, she's just a friend."

"We should all be so lucky." She smirked. "What is she, a yoga teacher?"

"Pilates," he laughed.

"Go, you." C.J. took a drink.

"How far...?" He motioned with his hand toward her. He was still awed.

She lifted the drink from her mouth."---along am I?"

"Yeah."

"About seven months in two weeks."

Toby put his hand out and pulled it back. As if he was going to touch her stomach. "Wow." He looked like he might cry. He turned around for a moment and then turned his face to face her. "You came all this way to tell me."

"You're a hard man to get on the phone, Toby."

"Yeah, sorry about that..." He ran his hand around the side of his neck.

"It's October, why is it hot in here?" She looked around and saw a small fan blowing.

"It's New York."

"I'm starting to forget what the seasons are like."

"So, is the globe apparently." He smiled his off-center smile at her. "You came all the way out here to tell me..."

She rolled her head around and finally looked at him. "I want you to be a part of my child's life, Toby. Do you want that? 'Cause I sure as hell want that."

"Yeah..." he said with tears in his eyes.

"Yeah..." She smiled back with tears. "I want you to be a part of my life. Why are you so pent up with that crazy, stuck in my house, professor thing."

"Okay..." He laughed uncomfortably as a question.

"Josh hasn't heard from you in months, you don't return my phone calls..."

"I wanted to call you back." Toby lowered his head like a little boy. "And I would start and then I would stop." He looked up. "You have your life."

"Is that what that was about out there? I just got married Toby...I...I still...mommy still loves all her children the same, Toby," she joked dryly.

"Staying in touch works both ways." He looked directly at her.

"Yeah." She looked away for a moment. She knew she hadn't been so good herself.

"But, now there's this–" He pointed toward her stomach.

"Yeah..." She looked at him.

Toby sat down across the table from her.

There was a pause between them.

"So was this... planned?" he motioned toward her stomach.

She looked directly at him. "Are you asking me if my child is the product of a bottle of Merlot and faulty birth control?" she asked dryly.

"Something like that..." Toby grinned.

"Take out the Merlot and substitute it with SPF and you got yourself a ball game." She took a drink of water. "God, I wish I could have a beer."

Toby laughed.

C.J. looked at him.

"See, this, this is what I was afraid of."

"What?"

"If we talked." He smiled bittersweetly. "I'd just miss you, _this_-- even more."

"You were afraid to talk to me, because you didn't want to _miss_ me?" She almost slammed her drink on the table. "Well, tough. Too bad. What about all that time before the campaign. We talked once a week when I was in California and you were here. How was that different?"

"I don't know," he said softly. I had Andi. I had a more demanding job."

"Yeah, well... Now you know how I felt." She took a drink of her water.

"Seven and a half years always together..." He couldn't get the words out. "You get used to a person..."

"Your mind too..." She said with tears in her eyes. "Me too."

"Yeah..."

"And now you're having this child." He was so moved for her. He knew what his own children meant to him.

"Yeah..." She nodded her head and her eyes got misty.

"It's Danny's right?" Toby joked.

"Yes," she stressed. "Well, his or the mailman's, I'm really not sure yet," she said dryly.

Toby chuckled at her. His eyes glowed.

"You're right." She sounded like she was getting down to business. "It works both ways. I'm gonna try and be good at this. We both are. We're gonna be better at this. If it kills us. Okay?"

"Okay." He nodded his head.

"And tough if you miss me. I miss you too."

There was a pause.

C.J. put her hand on her stomach and looked down.

"I guess I have you to thank for all of this." She looked up at him and they caught eyes.

Toby looked away. He tried to shake it off. "For what? Coming out to California and bringing you on?" He shook his head and laughed. "I didn't..."

"For a lot of things." She looked like she might cry. She knew she was where she was because of Toby Ziegler. The good and the bad. He was the reason she landed in the place she'd ended up.

"I'm thanking you. Just take it, okay." She mocked him with the words he had once said to her.

Toby lowered his head and laughed. There was a pause between them. Toby looked up and quickly changed the subject. "You know what you're gonna have yet?"

"Danny and I don't wanna know. We wanna be surprised." She put her hand on her stomach.

Toby chuckled. "Really?"

"Yeah..." She averted his eyes slightly.

There was a silence while Toby chuckled again. He ran his hand over his beard. He leaned in toward her.

"You know, don't you?" he asked in a sneaky way. He knew her too well.

C.J. tried not to smile. She looked down. She looked up at Toby. "It's a girl."

Toby felt the emotion come a back to his eyes. "Of course." He was in awe.

C.J. smiled. She held in her own emotion. "I'm scared, Toby. What if I'm not good at this."

"I seriously doubt that," he said with sincere sweetness.

"This is different, Toby. This isn't helping to run a country, this is a person, a person growing inside of _me_." She looked down at herself.

"It's a mortal lock."

"Statistics prove not all women have that instinct, how can you--"

He walked over to her. "For you." he paused. "It's a mortal lock."

She looked at him, frightened.

"You care too much to be bad at this." He leaned in and kissed the top of her head. "A blessing on your house." He smiled and took the water glass from the table.

"I'm not done with that."

"I'm getting you milk."

"I don't want milk," she groaned like a little girl. She soon found a glass of milk, attached to Toby's hand, in front of her face. She took it begrudgingly. "I'm finding it an odd experience to look at milk and not think about the fact that it will some day be coming out of me."

"And don't think I haven't been thinking about it either." He raised his eyebrows and gazed at her chest. He walked back to the other side of the table.

C.J. wasn't sure whether to laughed or scold him.

"How long are you staying?"

"I have a flight out late tonight. I was in D.C. with Danny."

"Danny's with you?"

"No, he went home. I told him there was something I had to do here."

Toby smiled.

"I was told Brooklyn was lovely this time of year."

Toby laughed. He paused. "I really do have all this work..."

"I see." She laughed looking at the stack. "How is the youth of America these days?"

"Full of typos."

"Danny had a profile in the NY Times magazine, they described his appearance as scurvy instead of..."

"Scruffy"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm sure he suffers from a serious lack of oranges there in the buckeye state.

"That's Ohio."

"Oh, yeah..." he humored her.

"Gives you a little hope for the future."

"I believe the future is at hand."

They caught each other's eyes for a moment. A lovely shared moment.

"You need help?" She reached for the reading glasses in her purse.

Toby chuckled. "You wanna help me correct mid terms and term papers?"

"How hard can it be?" she stressed. "An A here, an incomplete there..." She took a paper off the pile. "Piece of cake." She put her glasses on her head.

Toby chuckled to himself. He watched her read the paper. He went into the kitchen and poured himself his own glass of milk.

"This one's good," she yelled to him. "But, the spelling is all off."

"Has an inability for the correct use of a comma?"

"Yeah..." She kept reading.

Toby walked back to the table. "That would be Mr. Chris Hockney." He set his glass on the table and sat down.

She looked up. "He's dyslexic," she said matter-of-factly.

"What?"

She looked back at the paper. "I'm not kidding." She placed her finger on a line. "He spells judicial three different ways in the same paragraph. It's so off the spell check didn't even catch it..." She looked up and handed Toby the paper.

Toby looked it over.

"It doesn't mean he's not smart. There are tons of successful dyslexics." She took her glasses off and threw them on the stack of papers behind her. "David Boies, Charles Schwab, Albert Einstein."

"John Chambers, Craig McCaw, Gaston Caperton, I know..." he looked at the paper in amazement. He checked the second page. "I just can't believe I didn't see it."

"Why would you? You're not trained as a teacher. My brother's dyslexic, that's the only reason I caught it." She shrugged her shoulders. "Get him a tutor," she said very matter-of-factly.

Toby chuckled and then looked at her. "I think you just saved this kids life."

"Ahhh." She took her glass to her mouth. "All for a days' pay." She took a drink.

"Ha," he signed. He just looked at her for a moment. He picked up another paper and handed it to her.

She took the paper and her glasses at the same time.

"She has the talent, but something's missing..."

C.J. started reading.

"Her arguments lack a certain passion."

"Not bad so far..." She read a little more. "Although she just misused the word tertiary." C.J. looked up. "Unless our judicial system lies in some three tiered limbo I'm unaware of." She saw Toby was looking at her, "No, no. Go back to what you were doing." She looked down and waved her hand toward him. "I got this."

"Okay..." He smiled unsure how to take it all. Toby took his own reading glasses from the table. He just looked at her for a moment. He smiled, laughed, and put his glasses on his head. He looked down and started correcting a test.

When she'd tell Danny of this moment, that night she arrived home, she'd tell him how happy she was. He'd tell her how happy he was for her.

_Maybe we're all different_

_But we're still the same_

_We all got the blood of Eden running through our veins_

_I know sometimes it's hard for you to see_

_You're caught between just who you are and who you want to be_

_If you feel alone and lost and need a friend_

_Remember every new beginning is some beginning's end_

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**October 31, 2005 (Present)**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_Welcome to wherever you are_

_This is your life; you made it this far_

_Welcome, you got to believe_

_That right here, right now you're exactly where you're supposed to be_

_Welcome to wherever you are_

Toby sat alone with nothing but his crossword puzzle, and his empty apartment. No kids, no Andi, no C.J. He was just alone with himself and his thoughts. He felt the energy of being on the precipice.

_When everybody's in and you're left out_

_And you feel you're drowning in the shadow of a doubt_

_Everyone's a miracle in their own way_

C.J. sat alone in her office, she looked at Gail swimming in her fish bowl.

_Just listen to yourself, not what other people say_

She looked out the window.

_When it seems you're lost, alone and feelin' down_

_Remember, everybody's different; just take a look around_

Danny sat in his own office. He thought of C.J. and looked out the window.

_Welcome to wherever you are_

_This is your life; you made it this far_

Josh directed strategy in the belly of the plane. Leo smiled at him from the back of the cabin

_Welcome, you got to believe_

_Right here, right now you're exactly where you're supposed to be_

_Be who you want to be, be who you are_

_Everyone's a hero, everyone's a star_

President Bartlet looked out his own window. In a week, the final nail would be put in the coffin of his presidency.

_When you want to give up and your heart's about to break_

_Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes_

Danny, C.J. and Toby all looked out into a future they had no control over and no thought of. They felt like their fate was all left in the hands of other people and not themselves. They each felt lost, lonely, and unsure.

_Welcome to wherever you are_

_This is your life, you made it this far_

_Welcome, you got to believe_

_Right here, right now you're exactly where you're supposed to be_

_Welcome to wherever you are_

_This is your life, you made it this far(I say welcome) _

_Welcome to wherever you are_

They were right where they were meant to be, at the crossroads to a new life, a new beginning, and a new ending. And as the election approached, Danny couldn't shake the feeling of an impeding storm. It was something none of them could shake. It was all leading up to that.

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"Oh, by the way, it's 'storm.' Five letters for 'blowhard'? 'Storm.'"

–**Blake **

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**THE END OF CHAPTER 15**


	16. Chapter 16: Cold November

**On The Road With Danny Concannon: '05-'06**

"_Cold November"_

**Companion Episode**: Election Day 1 & 2

_No Way Back _as sung by Foo Fighters in _Election Day 1_

_Miracle_ as sung by Foo Fighters in _Election Day 2 _

**Notes**: Please review. Like the little box says when you review a story -- it helps the writer. Good or bad. It really does. Thank you.

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_Crazy but I'm relieved this time_

_Begging for sweet relief of blessing empty sky_

_Dying behind these tired eyes_

_I've been loosing sleep  
Please come to me t__onight_

_**Foo Fighters – Miracle**_

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Two Years Later

**THE LAST WEEK OF NOVEMBER **

**2007**

New Hampshire

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The rain was coming down in buckets, like God himself was drowning the earth.

Danny drove up to the Bartlet farm house. It was late and dark and Danny could barely see the road in front of him. He stopped his car in the car park in front of the front door.

Mrs. Barlet was waiting for him on the top stoop. A lone porch light shown down on her.

Danny could hear the torrential rain hit the porch stoop and the ground below before he even opened the car door. But, once he did, the sound was deafening, pouring over him and his rain jacket, which did very little to keep him dry, like an avalanche of water.

"Danny." Abbey yelled as she watched Danny get out of the car and run to the stoop.

"Mrs. Bartlet." Danny spoke loudly, over the rain, as he reached the dry portion of the second step. He shook himself off.

"I think you should call me Abbey now. Don't you?"

"Habit." He smiled.

"Why, don't you come inside and get dry."

Danny nodded his head and followed her.

The farmhouse felt empty as Danny entered it; maybe it was because the first time he had been in the house was around the election, the first one, and the place was bustling with excitement. He could still see C.J. running down the front stairs, almost tripping over the last step.

"C.J. really wanted to come, but the doctor felt it wasn't safe for her to fly." Danny pulled down his hood to reveal a damp head. He took a breath.

"How is she?"

"Okay. Good." He paused. "Her blood pressure was up. She was having contractions. The doctor gave her medication, but she felt C.J. should take it easy the last two months.." Danny nodded his head. He took a breath.

"C.J. told me." Abbey saw how scared Danny looked. "She'll be fine, Danny." She put her hand on his shoulder.

"Sometimes I don't know." He lowered his head. He sucked in his emotion and looked up.

Abbey put her hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you let those to dry in here." She motioned with her head to her left.

Danny followed Abbey into the kitchen. She turned the light on as she entered. A small light lit the kitchen table, providing very little light in the dark room.

Danny put his laptop bag on the kitchen table and his overnight bag on a chair. He took his rain jacket off.

"I didn't want to leave her, but C.J. insisted I come."

Abbey nodded her head. She took Danny's coat and hung it on a hook by the kitchen door.

"Danny?" Former President Bartlet's voice was heard before he even entered the darkly lit kitchen. He revealed himself in the light as his walking cane make a hollow echoing sound against the floor, almost announcing his presence before his face was made known by the light at the center of the room.

"Hello, sir." Danny smiled.

"You look like a drowned rat, Danny."

"Thank you, sir, " he said with a slight smile and a chuckle.

"How's C.J.?"

"We were just saying how _well_ she was doing?" Abbey turned to Danny. "Weren't we?"

"Well? Is she doing well, Danny?" he said with a smile. "She's almost eight months pregnant--I don't think she's doing _that _well."

"No, sir."

"How is she?" he asked with concern.

"As long as she cuts out stress, she should be fine. She's taken some time off from work."

He nodded his head.. "And the baby?" he asked with the large concern in his heart.

"As far as we know, good." Danny laughed a little to lighten the mood. "Kicking and everything."

"That's wonderful." Jed smiled."I'm so very happy for the both of you, Danny. I really am."

"Thank you, sir."

"I'm sorry we took you away from her. We could have rescheduled this." He turned to Abbey for a moment. "

Abbey gave Danny a look.

"My wife seems to think not." He gestured toward Danny with his cane. "And your wife as well. I think our wives have banded against us." He paused. "We can work on my memoirs another time, Danny. Go home to your wife and your unborn child." He motioned toward the door with his cane.

"No, C.J. wanted me to be here for this." Danny went through his bag. "She wanted me to tell you this in person. She wishes she could be here." Danny took a yellow legal pad out of his bag. "But, this was our last meeting, and I agree..." He walked toward Bartlet.

"Danny's come up with a new title for the book." Abbey spoke from her spot between the two men on the other side of the kitchen table. Her voice was filled with emotion.

"A new direction for the book." Danny walked closer to Bartlet and handed him the pad.

Jed took his glasses from his pocket and placed them on his nose. He took the pad inquisitively.

"We think you'll like it." Abbey said with a bittersweet smile.

Jed looked down at the title written across the page.

"You came up with this title, yourself?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well..." Jed said with stern conviction. He nodded his head. "Let's get to work." He threw the legal pad on the kitchen table, with a crack, to reveal the words written on it in huge black ink: "Bartlet McGarry."

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**PRESENT **(2005)

TWO YEARS BEFORE

November 8th

Election Day

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"There's no way back from here..."

–**The Foo Fighters **

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C.J. walked out of the oval office. She shut the door. It was finally going to end, but she wasn't nearly ready to say goodbye.

It had been two weeks since she had told Danny she could not see him until after Bartlet left office, two weeks of her being able to focus on her work again. She had made a decision and she was sticking to it. She had a President to serve. There was no time to think about her own thoughts, her own loneliness, or her own needs. Back to work.

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**The Washington Post Office**

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Election day was the one day the news business actually sped past politics for a fraction of a moment. While Josh Lyman, out on the road, felt like he had nothing to do, Danny Concannon on the other hand felt like he had way too much to do. He had handed off his House races to another reporter and decided to try and handle a few things out of the home office. He was feeling that fun excitement for a real moment, although it was fleeting. He was trying to latch onto to something.

The noise of the bullpen, outside his office, flowed over Danny. The TV in his office crossed with the sound outside like gossip in a high school hallway, in and out, every other word interfacing and reflecting into it all.

Danny typed as fast as he could; he had a pencil in his mouth for a moment and nodded his head as he typed. He looked at something next to him, made a note, and threw the pencil aside. He typed something real quick and then jumped from his chair.

The sound of printing was heard.

He walked out the door and heard a voice.

"I'm looking for Danny Conconnon?" asked a man's voice.

"Yeah..." he looked behind him.

"You him?"

"Yeah, can I help you?" He made his way to Maisy's desk. "I'm sorry, my assistant's gone back to school to get enough credits to transfer into a _good_ college--I'm kinda running the ship myself today." He looked around for something. "Excuse me."

"No problem."

Danny took a paper from the desk and looked up, "Yeah." He looked at the business man. "Do we have an--"

"Appointment? No, I was in the area I wanted to stop by."

"Election day?" Danny laughed. "Not the best day for that."

"Yeah, just happened to be when I was in the area." He chuckled. "You people really take this seriously don't you?" He laughed.

Danny didn't find it funny. "Ahh, yeah... I'm kinda busy so..."

"It will only take a moment." He smiled. "I think you'll like what I have to say."

"Oh...yeah, sure..." He smiled. "Come on, in. I'm just posting a story." Danny motioned with his hand for the man to follow him. "Give me a sec."

The man followed Danny into his office and set down his briefcase.

Danny walked over to his phone and picked it up. He hit a button. "Hey, Kathy, it's Danny. I'm posting on four." He hung up.

Danny went back to his computer and started typing. "What can I do ya for?" he asked.

"Well, I wanted to make you an offer," he said with all confidence.

"An offer?" Danny looked up from his lap top.

"Yeah, I hear you're looking around, seeing what's out there for you?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Word on the street is you're thinkin' of quitting this old ball a' wax."

"Ball a' wax?" Danny straightened his body and looked at the man oddly.

"Allow me to show you my card." The man took a card from his pocket and handed it to Danny.

Danny looked over the card and handed it back. "I already have a publisher."

"Yes, I know, but for non-fiction."

"I'm sorry?"

"Fiction."

"Fiction?"

"We think you'd make a great fiction writer."

"Fiction? I write about real people – I don't make them up." He offered back the card again.

The man didn't take it. "Oh, come on. Everyone's doing it. Do you know how many ex C.I.A and newspaper men and woman I got on the payroll--- writing mystery novels and suspense thrillers? How many ex-speech writers are out in Hollywood writing screenplays? It's what they do. You control the ending, you control what happens, who dies, who lives. After a time you get too old for it and sit down at a type writer for a safe adventure."

Danny gave the man a mean look; he didn't like that last sentence.

"Don't you want to write the great American novel?"

"No."

"Everyone does."

"I don't." Danny was firm.

"Listen, your work is different than the rest, we see it. I read your last two books, even the Abbey Bartlet book. You got talent. You also have name recognition right now– maybe not off hand, but people read about you and they go—oh yeah that guy. And the hardware ain't too shabby either, Pulitzers and so on. Yeah sure, you got a great reporter's instinct, but you have more. More than most reporters have---you have a way with words. A real way with a sentence and a preposition. Why let that go to waste? You're just as much a poet as Sam Seaborn is or even Toby Ziegler used to be."

"Some of us believe Toby Ziegler's still a poet." He handed the man back his card.

The man took back the card. "If you write a couplet in an empty room and no one's there to read it...was it ever written at all?"

Danny stared down the man again. He wasn't sure he liked this man. He was too slick for Danny's taste.

"Listen, he shot himself in the foot, that's all I'm sayin'. Hey, believe me, don't get me wrong, while I'm in town I'm gonna try and get him to sign a book deal with us for sure, but fact is fact. You're not washed up in this town unless you wanna be." He took his briefcase and handed Danny his card again. "We at Hyperion think you're a real talent, you sell books. We heard through channels you may be lookin' to change venues, we wanted to put our bid in the pile, or get in there first. It's the buzz we hear."

"Great." Danny ran his hand over his face and turned from the man. He wasn't happy he had that kind of buzz.

"There's no shame in getting to that time in your life when you wanna pack it all up– make a change."

"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Danny smiled his cocky smile and put his hands on his pockets.

"Mark Twain, nice." He smiled. "Mark Twain also said, "Clothes make the man." He placed his card on the chair in front of Danny's desk. "But naked people hardly have any influence on society." He took a step toward the door. "Just think about it." He paused and smiled. "If you're lookin' for new clothes, instead of running off into the sunset bare assed to the wind. Call me." And he was gone.

Danny sighed and shook his head. He walked toward the door where the man had gone. He looked over at the card on the chair.

_&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&_

**Two Years Later**

**The Bartlet Farmhouse**

_&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&_

Danny typed at the kitchen table, while Bartlet sat, not far, at the end of the table.

Danny looked over at a few notes and stopped. A tape recorder sat in the middle of the two of them.

"I don't know how you type on those things," Bartlet said with almost a sense of mocking.

"I'm used to it." Danny smiled and continued typing.

"You ever use a type writer?"

"When I was in school." Danny stopped typing and looked at the President.

"Ahhh." Bartlet smiled. "You ever go back? Check out the old stomping grounds?"

"Notre Dame?" He laughed. "The game on TV is the closest I get, these days."

"Sometime after the baby's born, we should all go up for a game."

"I'd like that, sir." Danny looked at him.

"You should all come here. I'd like that."

"So would we, sir."

"You and C.J. come up with any names yet?" Bartlet asked with the sweetest concern, as if Danny was one of his son-in-laws.

"A few." Danny leaned back. "We're looking for names that go with Cregg-Concannon."

Barlet laughed, "I'd say."

"We both like Michael Patrick for a boy."

"Patrick's your middle name, isn't it?"

"Yes, sir..." Danny lowered his head and smiled.

"I remember from the wedding."

He looked at Bartlet. "It was my grandfather's name." He smiled and nodded his head. "We also like Jacob..."

"For a girl?"

"We like Kathleen." He paused and smiled. "After C.J.'s mother."

Bartlet smiled and nodded his head, "Your mother's name was Kathryn wasn't it?"

"Yes." Danny said thinking of his mother. "It was." He looked at Bartlet with a strange eye.

"The wedding... I remembered you and C.J. mentioned your parents in the service. Nice touch."

"Thank you, sir." He paused. "So, we felt the name was very appropriate."

"Well, only the best of men are blessed with daughters," he smirked

"Yes, sir," he laughed.

"At least that's what we tell ourselves." Bartlet took a breath and looked off. He sighed.

There was a long silence. "You know it's been two years?"

"I do, sir." Danny nodded his head.

"Of course you do." Bartlet stood up. He looked at Danny. "So much has happened for you and C.J. over the last two years..." He stood up and held onto the chair for a moment as he took a step past it. "New home, new jobs, a new baby." He smiled a small smile.

There was a pause.

The President took a step and another before reaching the chair opposite Danny. Jed held onto the chair and looked over at Danny from across the table. "C.J. ever tell you about that day?" He asked with a melancholy in his voice.

"Yes, sir. She did," he said with all respect in his voice.

"I can't even remember what I did last week, but I can remember that day so vividly... like it was yesterday..." Bartlet trailed off for a moment. His eyes got misty and he looked down for a short beat. He regained himself and looked up. "Do you remember what you were doing that night, Danny?"

"Yes, sir." Danny paused. "Yes, I do." he said with the emotion of the moment itself.

_&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&_

**_Two years Before_**

**November 8th**

**The Office of Danny Concannon**

**The Washington Post**

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It was now late, very late. The TV blared the results so far. Danny's day was winding down.

"Hey. Danny!" A kid peeked his head into Danny's office. "We're all on fifteen watching the results. You wanna come?"

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Okay." And the young man was gone.

Danny set a few papers in his bag. He closed his laptop and placed it back in his bag. Danny turned off his television and placed his laptop by the door, next to his coat on a chair and a small basketball. He turned off his light and closed his door to lock it.

No one was in the outer office, or bullpen as they called it. A TV against the wall was blaring the news, but otherwise it was a ghost town. There were two guys in the corner on their laptops writing in silence, but most of the people were up watching the coverage together. Posting was done for now, why not have your laptop up where there where there were drinks and company.

Danny passed the desks and the TV caught his eardrum in passing. He dangled his keys in his right hand as if getting them ready to place in his pocket.

"This just in. We're getting reports out from Houston--"

Danny turned his head, it felt like slow motion.

"-- that Vice Presidential candidate Leo McGarry was rushed to an area hospital and was..." The announcer paused. "Where he died about an hour ago."

The keys in Danny's hand fell to the ground. They hit the floor with a sound that seemed to echo from the empty floor.

Soon, the floor was filled with people again. Danny couldn't believe what he was hearing.

_&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&_

_You never thought you'd be alone_

_and I know what's been on your mind,_

_you're afraid it's all been wasted time._

–_**Wasted Time Don Henley**_

_&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&_

Wednesday November 9th

**8:05 AM**

The White House

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C.J. sat on the couch like a zombie. Charlie walked in from the side door.

"How is he?" she asked under a face of stale tears and no sleep. "He's up. Making some calls. I think he's gonna try and go back to sleep for a few hours. I had Debbie clear his schedule."

"Good."

"If that's okay?"

"No, of course. Whatever he wants."

"You?"

"What? I'm fine." She stuffed in the tears.

"I mean, you sleep?"

"I will." She took a breath.

There was a moment of silence between them.

"I'm sorry. I was just..." She took in a breath. "Can I ask you a personal question, Charlie?"

"Yeah...?" He moved his head, unsure what kind of personal question C.J. would ask him.

"Do days like this remind you of when you lost your mother?"

There was a pause between them.

"Yeah." Charlie paused. "You?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause while two people silently related to each other.

C.J. looked like she might start crying again.

"You don't talk about your mother..." Charlie asked.

"I don't like to talk about it." She paused and looked away for a moment. "Ovarian." She shook it off. "I have no reason to talk about it." She looked away again.

Charlie nodded his head. "There's always a reason, I think."

"Yeah, I guess there is..." She looked up at Charlie. "I was about Deanna's age." She paused and remembered. "I mean her age when your..." She looked away. "We at least had a few days to tell my mom how we felt." She paused as her eyes glossed with tears. "We didn't get that with Leo." She paused. "It doesn't seem fair."

"You treat him with respect every time you were in a room with him?"

C.J. looked at Charlie.

"Thank him for his words of encouragement, laugh with him, offer up your gratitude and affection in his presence?"

"Yeah." She wasn't sure where Charlie was going.

"He knew." He paused and smiled.

"It just scares me...that one moment someone can be there and the next...they're not." She looked at the chair by her desk again.

There was a silence while C.J. seemed to absorb her own words.

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah..." She trailed off.

"I'm gonna go home —I could get you some things from your apartment?"

"No... no..." She got up from the couch. "I have some things here."

C.J. looked unsure.

"Good." He paused. "Cause if you need to talk. I don't mind."

"Huh?" She looked at Charlie. She was off somewhere. "Yeah, sure. No. Thank you, Charlie. Go home."

He motioned toward the door. "I'll be back in a few hours. Page me if you need anything."

"I will." C.J. nodded her head.

Charlie left through the side door from which he had entered and was gone.

C.J. took a breath. She walked toward her front door. She tried to shake off her feelings, shake off her sense of utter loss and devastation. Her entire body hurt. She felt so alone. Almost cold. Her entire body ached.

"C.J." She heard Debbie's voice.

C.J. looked up.

"Debbie."

"I came in early. Is there anything I can do?" she asked.

"No." C.J. shook her head sweetly.

"I just came from the residence. I just don't---I don't know what to say." Her eyes were still puffy from crying. She took out a handkerchief and ran it under her eyes. She then awkwardly tried to fold it, her hands uneasy and shaken. "I told the President I'd return some of the condolence calls he was unable to call back himself..."

C.J. nodded her head.

"I was wondering if I could borrow Margaret?" She looked up at C.J.

"Of course."

"There are a lot and he wanted me to get it all done before the funeral–" She put her handkerchief in her pocket.

"It's fine." C.J. put her hand on Debbie's hand.

"Okay." She sniffed in her tears. "I feel like I should be doing something."

C.J. nodded her head.

"Are you alright? Have you slept?"

"I will." She sucked in her tears.

Debbie nodded her head, gave C.J. a small tug on her hand and left the office with her head lowered.

C.J. took a few steps and stood against the doorframe of her office, her face ridden with hurt and dried tears. She leaned back on her hands. Her head almost touching the doorway more than her body.

C.J. looked straight ahead, the morning lights hitting her face, she could hear Margaret and Debbie in the outer office, but her mind was somewhere else. She sucked in her tears. She took a breath. What had her life become, she thought. She felt so empty inside. She felt so alone.

"I heard..." She heard Margaret say.

"Good. Thank you." Debbie's voice was full of tears. "You okay?"

There was a pause and Margaret let out a sound, a sound of held-in emotion. "I can make the calls," she said firmly, having sucked it all back in. Always the trooper for Leo.

"This is a list of people the President would like to thank and extend invitations to the funeral. We think it's going to be on Friday, we don't know. Mallory has to make the arrangements– get family together."

"I know what to do." Margaret said in a clear voice.

"They're in alphabetical order." Debbie told her. "I'm taking the back half. Come to me with the responses when your done." She paused. "Thank you. Hang in there, Kid." Soon Debbie's walk faded away.

C.J. could hear Margaret pick up the phone and start her calls. There was a pause while the call was placed.

C.J. was off somewhere as Margaret's voice drifted in and out in of the background.

"Hello, Mr. Abrams. This is Margaret Hooper. I'm calling on behalf of the President of the United States. He would like to extend his dearest thank you for your phone call yesterday and would like to extend an invitation to the funeral." There was a pause. "We're saying Friday..." Margaret's voice trailed off.

C.J. face was stoic and wet, her eyes hollow and puffy. She looked how she felt.

"Hello, may I speak with Commander Debra Collins..." There was a small pause. "Yes, I'm returning her call to the President..."

Margaret's voice faded out for a moment and came back in, "Yes, thank you." The sound of the phone being dialed was heard.

"Yes, hello." She paused. "May I speak with Danny Concannon." There was another pause.

C.J. turned her head toward the sound.

"This is Margaret Hooper, at the White House, I'm calling on behalf of the President of the United States. He wanted to..."

C.J. lifted herself off the doorway.

"--extend his dearest thank you for your call last night and would like to extend an invitation to attend the funeral on Friday..."

C.J. walked toward the sound of Margaret's voice.

"Yes, I'm doing fine...thank you..." But Margaret didn't sound fine.

C.J. had now made it to the edge of Margaret's desk.

Margaret noticed she had a visitor and raised her head toward C.J.

There was a silence.

C.J. put her hand out for the phone.

Margaret looked confused, but she handed over the phone to C.J.

"Hi." C.J. said in her dreary voice. "It's me."

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**THE END OF CHAPTER 16**

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	17. Chapter 17: To Every Season

**On The Road With Danny Concannon: '05-'06**

_"To Every Season"_

**Companion Episode:** Election Day 2

**Song** -"Miracle," Foo Fighters as heard in Election Day II

**Notes:** Please review. Like the little box says. Good or bad its helpful and nice to see what people think. Thank you. It keeps a writer writing.

* * *

"_There is no death; only transition"_

– _**Longfellow**_

* * *

_I went back to Ohio_

_But my city was gone_

**-The Pretenders _My City Was Gone_**

* * *

**The Home of Danny and C.J. Concannon**

Santa Monica, CA

**4:25 AM **

(January 2008)

Almost Three Years Later...

* * *

The radio played to relax her, Danny had turned it on after the first phone call.

They laid in bed together in the darkness. Danny held her, his arm around her waist, over her eight month pregnant stomach, his hand intertwined with her hand.

The song reminded C.J. of something, a similar feeling in her past, like she had heard the song before, but she just couldn't place it.

_Hands on a miracle_

_I got my hands on a miracle_

_Leave it or not, hands on a miracle_

_And there ain't no way_

_that she'll take it away_

They waited.

The phone rang and C.J.'s body tensed up.

_Everything that we've survived_

_It's gonna be alright_

_Just lucky we're alive_

Danny squeezed her hand. He left her side, to answer the phone.

C.J. didn't move. She wasn't sure if she could.

"Yeah," he said in his half sleepy voice. He sat on the edge of the bed. C.J. still didn't turn, looking straight ahead. "Yeah..." Danny's voice trailed off on the news he was hearing. He stood.

_Hands on a miracle..._

C.J. turned her body as much as she could.

Danny reached his arm and helped her to the edge of the bed. He took a soft breath and handed her the phone. He took a few steps closer to her and rubbed her shoulder.

"Hey," she said softly, lifting her hand to her forehead and leaning down. There was a pause and she broke down, huge sobs, Danny sat down on the bed next to her. He took her hand and squeezed it tight and took her in for a huge hug.

* * *

**5:15 AM**

* * *

C.J. laid on the bed looking away, not really in the room.

Danny paced, on the phone, at the front of the bed.

"I know. I know," he said, distressed, into the phone. "We know she can't fly." He tried to get a word in, but the person just kept on talking. "I understand that—I'm looking for a solution _here._" He was getting aggravated. "It's her father's funeral." He took a huge breath. "There has to be some way we can get there." He listened and nodded his head. "They can hold the service for... I just... is that safe?" He paused. "Yeah, I can do that..." Danny ran his hand over his dresser looking every which way for his pad and pen, which he found. He began writing things down.

* * *

**6:10 AM**

* * *

Danny held C.J.'s hand and looked her into her eyes.

"They'll understand if we can't go," he said to her.

Her eyes were puffy. She took a breath and looked as if she'd be sick. There was a pause while Danny tried to follow her face as it moved around. Finally, she landed on Danny's face.

"I won't," she said softly.

"Yeah." He understood.

She leaned forward, her body on an angle, and buried her head in Danny's chest.

Danny ran his hand over her head.

"You sleep. I have to rent a car that I can drive cross country."

* * *

**11:01 AM That Morning**

* * *

Danny helped C.J. into the car he had rented, the one with the smoothest ride like the doctor had told him. It was going to be a long trip. It was an SUV. Danny was going to be prepared. It made him feel safe. He'd be nervous the entire drive to Dayton, but she would never be able to live with herself if she didn't go. He would do this for her.

She felt guilty enough. C.J. always did, especially when it came to her father. No matter how much everyone in her life had let her down, she was always the one feeling guilty. Danny seemed to be the only person she loved who hadn't let her down in some way or another.

C.J. put her set belt on and looked out the window. She leaned her head against the side of of her seat and against the glass.

Danny set a few more bags into the back of the car, got in the front seat, put his seat belt on and drove out of their driveway.

* * *

**Travel from Santa Monica, California to Dayton, Ohio 222.9.4 miles**

* * *

**The Home of Spencer and Lydia Cregg**

_(Former home of Talmudge Cregg_)

Four days later

* * *

Danny drove up to the home C.J. grew up in. He leaned over and gently woke her up.

C.J.'s brother and his wife had taken over the house, instead of selling it, once their father had gone into a nursing home. Spencer had moved his family all the way from Chicago to do it. The Cregg children weren't ready to give up their past so quickly.

C.J. was so tired from the trip, from being pregnant, and from her grief that she hardly remembered being brought into the house by Danny, or her brother's welcoming her, hugging her. It was all a bunch of deep breaths. The fatigue was enormous. More than she had ever felt in the White House. She hadn't felt anything close to this since Leo died.

Hogan agreed to help Danny put C.J. to bed.

It was C.J.'s old room, looking nothing like it did when she had grown up in it, but it was her old room none the less.

She sat on the bed and Danny helped her with her clothes.

Hogan handed Danny a nightgown, which Danny put over her head.

She was able to put her arms in, but she needed Danny to help her with the rest, as she found herself slipping into a deep sleep.

"Is she okay?" Hogan asked.

C.J. lowered her head on the pillow.

"I'm fine," C.J. murmured. She could faintly hear everyone, but her eyes were almost foggy. She was so tired she couldn't really see. After that she didn't remember anything else.

Danny turned off the light and closed the door.

* * *

Danny held her hand at the funeral. He wore his all black suit - a suit he hadn't had to wear for long time. It didn't fit the same.

C.J. and Danny held hands and lowered their heads, but they still felt eyes on them. Her fame, the newness of the couple in Dayton, they seemed to bring out the people with nothing better to do, but talk.

It was not what C.J. needed; grief stricken, full of hormones, the extra eyes seemed worse to her. It wasn't what she needed at the moment. C.J. wondered if it was all in her head, just her hormones getting away with her, but it was how she felt

It was cold, cold for so many reasons. C.J. sat in the front row with her brothers, her sister-in- law, Hogan, and her brother Spence's nine year old daughter, who never really had known her grandfather at all.

The flowers on the casket were at eye level.

C.J. and Danny thanked the priest for the service. Former students of her father's thanked her.

Danny played the good husband, staying quiet and just holding her hand. He was so worried about the child inside of her, but he had to be calm for he knew if he wasn't it would only upset her. His job was to be there for her, help out her brother's in anyway he could. He was being Danny.

There wasn't any snow on the ground, but since it had snowed sometime before, the ground was muddy and damp. Danny and his brother-in-law, Spence, helped C.J. make her way across the ground to the car. They each held her hand. She hated feeling helpless. She was just too big to manage it herself. Her balance was off. She didn't feel like herself. It was all a big blur.

* * *

Back at the house, Danny watched C.J. sitting in the corner, people paying their respects, her brothers checking to see if she was okay. Danny approached her and handed her a glass of water.

C.J. took it with out a word. He walked behind her and rubbed her shoulders.

"You doing, okay?" he asked, knowing she wasn't.

She lowered her head and lifted it to the side. "I just can't stand this. I just can't. These things are so beyond me." She seemed edgy and agitated. She looked over the room of people.

"You want something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat."

"I will." She patted his hand. C.J. caught sight of a woman. "See her." C.J. got a sly look on her face and nodded toward the direction of a woman.

"Blonde hair, dark blue dress?" Danny pulled up a chair next to C.J.. He leaned in.

C.J. leaned into Danny. "She's my father's second wife's daughter. Cheerleader. Was always caught under the bleachers with many a football player."

Danny smirked.

"They're talking about us, why can't I talk about them."

C.J. caught site of the woman, who saw she had been caught. It almost made C.J. laugh.

Danny chucked softly along with his wife.

There was a pause while they shared a moment as a couple.

"You weren't caught under the bleachers?" Danny smirked and played with her hand.

"No. I didn't get caught under the bleachers until my senior year of college," she joked.

"Okay, that I knew," he laughed.

C.J. smiled. She leaned her head up against his head. "You think it's bad if I go take a nap?"

"Naww. It's thinning out." He rose and helped her to her feet.

* * *

**A few hours later...**

* * *

C.J. leaned her head into the kitchen doorway. She found Danny talking at the kitchen table with her brother Spencer and a man about her age she remembered from her childhood.

"I miss everyone?"" she asked, commenting on the half empty house. A few people were milling in the living room with Hogan and her other aunt.

"Yeah," Danny laughed.

"Just in time." She smiled.

"Claudia Jean." Spencer motioned toward the man at the table. "You remember Peter Moss."

"I think we had English class together." Peter nodded his head. "I'm sorry about your father."

"Thank you," she said softly.

"And congratulations," he said with a smile. "It seems odd to say—"

"No, thank you." Her smile was sweet and outward, not large, and almost calming. She put her hand on her stomach.

"You get some sleep?" Danny asked.

"Yeah." She seemed to get an idea. "I'm just gonna go...look for..." She paused. "Excuse me, Peter."

"You okay?" Danny stood.

"I'm fine," she said. Her other brother, Paul, came in from behind.

"Hey." Paul kissed C.J. on the cheek. "Hogan was looking for you." He made his way out of the doorway, it was a large doorway. "She's upstairs. You want help?"

"I'm fine," she laughed.

Suddenly a commotion was heard at the door. C.J.'s and Paul's heads turned toward the front door.

By the time C.J. got to the door, Paul was already standing in the foyer. Spence walked in front of C.J. Peter, the man from the table, hovered near the kitchen doorway feeling awkward.

"What's going on here?" Spence asked.

Paul took a step to his left giving C.J. a clear view of the woman at the door, Molly, Tal's third wife with her daughter, Libby.

Danny soon came out of the kitchen and peered on from a few steps behind C.J.

"I just wanted to..." Molly couldn't seem to get the words out.

"Libby," C.J. protested. "You shouldn't have brought her here." She directed the comment to Libby.

"I brought myself." Molly protested. "I have the right to be here."

"You lost that right when you left him alone, Molly," C.J. demanded in anger.

"C.J., it's okay." Spence told her, always the polite brother.

"No, no. It's not.," C.J. was heated.

"Listen, we don't want any trouble, Molly." Paul was always the voice of reason.

"Is something wrong?" Danny asked, talking a step forward into the group.

Molly poked her head to the side and saw Danny. "You must be Danny. You're C.J.'s husband."

"Yes." Danny said with a confidence and a question.

"Please, leave, Molly." C.J. stepped closer and in front of her brother Paul, revealing her full body to Molly. "You're not wanted here. Please just go."

Danny took hold of C.J's arm.

"I'm fine." She shooed Danny off.

"Yes, Molly, Libby. We appreciate you coming but..." Spencer said it with the authority of the eldest brother.

"C.J.–" Molly said agog. "You're pregnant!" She took a pause. "You look ready to pop, Tal would have never wanted you to come all that way – it's too dangerous." She took a step.

"Ma, come on. They don't want you here." Libby put her hand on her mother's arm. She turned to Spencer. "I'm sorry Spence, she demanded to come."

"Tal wouldn't have wanted you to come, C.J." Molly looked directly at C.J.

"I had to come." She paused. "And now you have to _leave_. _Leave _Molly, please _leave_," C.J. demanded in her White House voice.

"I stayed with him as long as I could, but once he went into the nursing home, what else could I have done?"

"Talk to him. See him. Send him a ham. I don't know. I did those things, as much as I could, and then I couldn't. I just couldn't. That was your job. That was his _wife's _job."

Hogan and the rest of the remaining family, including Peter had now assembled in the background.

"I could never be your mother, none of us could." Molly seemed to say as if figuring it out.

"None of _you_ were my mother." C.J. said with force. She paused. "There was no one like my mother." Her voice was at the bottom of her throat. Tears were in her eyes. She took deep breaths.

Without saying a word Danny put his hand on her shoulder. She didn't protest.

There was a silence in the room. No one said anything.

Molly felt foolish. "Like you." She spoke to C.J. and then to the rest of the room. "I just wanted to be here."

"Come on, Ma." Libby put her arm around her mother. "I'm so sorry," she said and took her mother out the front door. The screen door swung behind and creaked after their exit.

C.J.'s breathing started to get heavy.

Danny noticed it first." C.J.?" he questioned.

C.J. took heavy breaths and let out a small whimper, her emotions were coming through like crazy.

Spence and Paul turned their heads toward their sister.

Danny turned to face C.J. and looked her in the eye. "C.J. what is it?"

She tried to speak, but her breaths were shallow.

"Is it the baby?" Hogan asked.

Danny ushered C.J. backwards a few steps to a row of chairs set up for guests.

She leaned her head back.

Her family came to her side, without crowding her, all highly concerned.

C.J. put her hand to her stomach.

Danny stood over her. "C.J. is it the baby? Speak to me?" He looked her in the eyes. He had a good idea what was going on.

C.J. shook her head no. Finally she was able to speak. "No," she said softly. Her heavy breaths continued.

"What is it?" Spencer asked.

"She's having a panic attack." Danny spoke as if it had happened before.

"Is that normal?" Paul asked.

"It can be, yes. She's had them before." Danny turned to Hogan who was nearest to the kitchen. "Hogan, can you get her a glass of water."

Hogan ran off.

Danny took C.J.'s hand and slowly sent his own hand over the top of her head to relax her. "Breathe, C.J. Its fine." He continued looking at C.J., but spoke to her family. "It's all the hormones. It happens a lot in first time pregnancies." He now spoke to C.J. "I was afraid of this."

"Could she go into labor?" Hogan asked, handing Danny the glass of water.

Danny gave Hogan eyes, not wanting to actually say it, but the answer was yes.

"Don't talk about me..." C.J. spoke and her family took a breath. "Like I'm not here."

"There she is." Danny smiled. "There she is." His eyes were wet. "Here." He handed C.J. the glass of water.

She took a breath.

"You gonna be okay?" Paul asked.

"Yeah." She nodded.

Danny kissed her on the top of her head.

* * *

Later Danny found C.J. sitting in a chair in the middle of what had been the dining room. The table had been taken out to fit more chairs for the wake. Finally the last remaining visitors had left.

The chairs were all gone now, except for the lone chair she sat in. C.J. looked almost like Whistler's mother, Whistler's pregnant mother, sitting alone in a room like a white box. She stared out the window at the white grey sky.

"Do you want a glass of water?" he asked from the other side of the room, his hands in his pockets.

"I'm fine." She looked at him.

"You should have some water." Danny walked toward her at a slow pace.

"I had water–I'm fine. Really." She half smiled at him.

She was pretending and Danny knew it.

"Okay." He stood above her for a moment while she looked out the window.

C.J. took his hand and he leaned down to be at her eye level.

"You okay? " Danny asked in his sweet, soft tones.

"Just embarrassed, " she shyly chuckled at him.

"About what?" he smiled. His face was huge, his eyes twinkling.

C.J. looked down. "Having a panic attack isn't high on my list of things to do in public." She looked up.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about. Nothing there." He paused. "We all don't have–"

"One hundred volts of hormones going through our bodies, I know." She said it like it was a thing between them now. She looked at her husband and smiled. Her smile turned to tears. She tried to hold it in.

Danny took a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.

She laughed. "Since when do you carry a handkerchief around with you?"

"It's been a while since I wore this suit," he laughed it off.

"Is that why it doesn't fit you as well." She ran her hand over the lapel and patted it down.

"What can I say I've put on a few pounds in the last few months," he smiled.

"I think you look fine to me." She ran her face over his smiling cheeks.

C.J. looked like she was off somewhere. The tears started again slightly.

Danny looked anguished for her. "You shouldn't feel guilty, C.J."

"And yet I do," she said plainly. Almost as a little joke. Her tears stopped, for now.

There was a silence. They just stayed together in the silence.

"My obligations were over. I could have—I should have picked up my life—"

"And what, C.J.? Sit by his bed side while he slowly drifted away. There was _nothing _left for you to do, your brother's confirmed that. The doctors-"

"There's always something I can do."

"You can't fix everything, C.J. Not everything's fixable." He had such sincerity and empathy for her in his eyes. They were a like in so many ways.

"What can I say, Danny. I'm an imperfect woman trying to live in a perfect world," she joked, reverting to her favorite defense mechanism.

"You're pretty perfect in my book."

She laughed through her tears. "Couldn't come up with anything better than that?"

"What can I say, I have a limited repertoire." He laughed a bit and lowered his head. He took a breath, looked up and squeezed her hands. "I didn't know your father, C.J. but, from the way you and your brothers talk about him, I don't think he wouldn't have wanted you to up root your life to take care of him."

"So, it was this life." She ran her hand over his face. "Or this life, then?

"Noooo. I would have gone anywhere you wanted to go C.J. You know that."

"You would have moved to Ohio?" she asked not believing him.

"Yes." He said simply.

C.J. smiled through her tears, she looked down and up. She saw the calming understanding eyes of her husband.

There was a pause between them.

"He was my father," she stressed.

"He wasn't your father for a _long time_, C.J." He paused.

The words really sunk in with C.J.

"Now is the time we look at his picture and tell stories."

C.J. looked away. She remembered the words Danny was telling back to her, the words she told Toby after his brother died. It was the words she was told when her own mother had died.

C.J. nodded her head. She sucked in her tears.

There was a short pause between them.

C.J. lowered her head, lifted it, and sucked back her remaining tears.

"You okay, now?" He ran his hand over her head and hair, looking into her eyes, his own eyes twinkling back.

C.J. nodded her head.

Danny smiled. "We should get on the road as soon as we can." He grinned. "I don't want you giving birth in the back of the SVU."

"Yeah..." she smiled in a daze. She removed a piece of lint off his jacket. "It's rented." She smiled slyly. Her famous smile.

Danny chuckled. "Tomorrow morning, okay?"

C.J. nodded her head.

"That way you can get some sleep."

"There's something I wanna get from the attic, don't let me forget."

"I'll get it. What is it?"

"No, no. I want to." She paused. She saw the fear in Danny's eyes. "I'll have Hogan help me."

"Okay."

"Can I just have a moment alone?"

"Yeah." He smiled and stood up. He walked away letting go of her hand at the last moment he could.

C.J. lifted herself off the chair as best she could and walked over to a small table with pictures. She picked up a picture of her father and mother. After a moment she looked out the window with a melancholy stare. She put her hand on her stomach.

* * *

**The Next Morning...**

* * *

C.J. lifted her head from her sleep in the morning. She could hear some noises coming from downstairs, but didn't feel much like going down stairs.

She walked through the hallway and found a few boxes of things. She looked through them and noticed someone had left the attic stair well open. It was one of those pull down stairs from the ceiling. She decided to climb up it. It took a few tries, but she did.

* * *

Hogan came up the stairs from the living room and looked in C.J.'s room at the back of the hallway, looking for her aunt for breakfast. When she couldn't' find her, Hogan noticed the open attic stairs.

"Aunt, C.J?" she called. She peeked her head into the attic.

Hogan found C.J. sitting on a box and looking through a set of other boxes in front of her. She looked a little rabid, as if she had been looking for a while, for something specific.

"What are you doing up here?"

"I know it's here somewhere..."

"Aunt C.J., you got up here all by yourself?"

"I'm pregnant, not an invalid." She sifted through old toys and record albums.

"So, I'm not an invalid either, but I couldn't get up those stairs with a ten pound weight attached to my body." Hogan sat herself down on a box across from C.J."

"I'm taller then you." She leaned over and kissed Hogan on the forehead. "Help me look."

"What are we looking for?"

"My christening outfit." C.J. looked in another drawer. She started to get agitated again. "It was here, last time I was here, I found it by mistake. I know it's here..." she stressed.

"Don't' worry, " Hogan calmed her. "We'll find it." Her eyes were so kind.

"I have to find it. I have to find it," she protested. C.J. started to laugh. "Look, my Clash album." She sighed. "I'll never find it." She took her hands out of the box in front of her.. "It was my mother's. It had hand made lace on it." Her searching became more rabid. "Can you try that box over there, I really don't wanna get up right now." She pointed across the room.

Hogan laughed, "Sure." She got up and found another box on the other side of the small attic.

Hogan picked up a box and brought it over to C.J. She started to look inside of it.

C.J. leaned back a little and took a breath." Who am I kidding, we'll never find it. Just another memory gone." C.J. really seemed to get upset with herself. "I can never find anything..."

"Wait." Hogan smiled and pulled a small white dress out of the box. "Is this it?" She handed it over to C.J.

"Yes." C.J. seemed moved. "That's it." She held it up and looked at it. "That's it." She looked at Hogan. "Thank you." She smiled. "I don't know why I'm so upset."

"A million and one hormones..." Hogan joked.

"Please, don't get pregnant at 46. Or even 25, try for your mid-thirties, that sounds good.-ohhh." C.J. put her hand on her stomach. "AHHH." She breathed heavily. She took in deep breaths. She didn't look very good.

"C.J?" Hogan got scared. Her aunt wasn't answering her.

C.J. looked up at her niece with an equally scared look.

* * *

"DANNY!" Hogan yelled, careening down the stairs. "Danny!"

Danny heard Hogan's voice before she even approached the kitchen.

Danny stood as Hogan's ashen face appeared in the doorway.

"Aunt C.J.," she said out of breath.

Danny shot out of the room at light speed.

Danny ran up the stairs and found C.J. leaning up against the wall along side the attic stairs. She took heavy breaths. She held her watch in her left hand and ran her finger over the face nervously.

"C.J." He ran to her and put his hands on her arms.

"My water broke." She said with despair. "They're coming...ahh..." She looked at the watch again. " About two minutes apart."

"This is it?" He lifted his hands off the side of her arms.

C.J. nodded her head. She looked scared out of her mind.

"Okay," he said with confidence. "This is gonna be okay. Okay." He took C.J.'s arm to help her down the stairs. It was Danny's job, like always, to be her calming influence.

"I'm sorry I climbed the stairs." Her voice was full of heavy emotions. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He made her feel like it would all be okay. " He looked her in the eye. "It's okay."

He led C.J. down the downstairs set of stairs.

* * *

Outside the house Danny helped C.J. down the walk, it was wet and cold, her family followed behind, all with out their coats. A few people who were visiting, stood in the doorway.

"Let me drive you." Spencer offered.

"We'll follow in the car," Paul offered up, walking fast behind them.

"No, no. Everyone. Stay here." C.J. scolded in pain. Then C.J. breathed and let out a held-in yell.

Danny looked worried. He got to the end of the walk and opened the car door for C.J.

"He doesn't even know where the hospital is!" Spencer yelled out.

"I do." Hogan sprouted up. "I know. I can come."

Danny helped C.J. into the car. He shut the door, ran to the other side of the car and got in.

C.J. breathed heavily. She looked frightened out of her mind, but she tried to hold it in. It was hard. The fuss around her wasn't helping.

"Get in the car!" C.J. yelled. She wasn't in the right mind to give directions.

Everyone went for the car.

"Hogan! Danny and Hogan!" She winced in pain and held her stomach. Danny started the car and Hogan jumped in the back and shut the door.

"Make a left." Hogan shouted as she put on her seat belt.

The wheels were heard screeching as Danny turned the car into the middle of the street and made a left.

* * *

**Miami Valley Hospital, Dayton, OH**

* * *

The hospital seemed like a daze, all the sounds, and the pain, and the anxiety.

Danny held her hand as they whisked her down the hospital hallway in a wheel chair.

"C.J. hi," said the doctor. "I don't know if you remember me, my father was your doctor. Back in the seventies, Dr. Holbrook."

"Yeah, hi." She took hard breaths. She didn't feel like talking.

"Don't worry, C.J. We're gonna take good care of you."

"She's only 38 weeks." Danny said with concern.

"It's fine – normal healthy babies can be born between 37 and 41 weeks," he assured them. "Everything's gonna be fine, C.J."

C.J. sighed, her eyes were tearing. She let out a yell of pain.

They turned a corner and took C.J. into an delivery room.

"So, isn't this a funny turn of events," the doctor said turning to his nurse who helped him with his gloves. "Your baby's gonna be born in Dayton." He snapped his glove tight on his left hand with a crack.

"Believe me, the irony is not lost on me. Ahhh," C.J. screamed.

Two nurses lifted C.J. out of her wheel chair. She was placed on a bed and the nurses helped her place her feet in the stirrups.

Danny stood to her right and took her hand. He looked worried himself, unsure what to do.

"The contractions are thirty seconds, apart, I'm told?" the doctor asked.

"Yes," C.J. breathlessly nodded her head.

"Okay, so, looks like in a few minutes you're gonna have yourself a baby."

"What about the drugs?" Danny asked.

"No, we don't have the time for that."

"What!" C.J. screamed. "No, no. I was promised drugs."

"Why can't she have the drugs?" Danny asked with concern.

"It's too late. Your contractions are coming too soon. This happens a lot with first babies." He took a look under the paper cloth a nurse had placed over C.J. "Yep, you're dilated, ten centimeters." He looked up and smiled.

"No, one told me that." C.J. laid her head back on the bed. "If I'd be known that, I wouldn't have gone through this from the beginning." She let out a scream.

Danny laughed at her, "Oh really?" he said knowing this really wasn't a choice on their part.

"I'm talking about having _sex _in the first place—" she said as dry as she could under the circumstances. "Ahhh," she let out yell.

"It's only been ltwo hours since her water broke?" Danny questioned.

"Yeah, and in less than that you're gonna have yourself a baby." He smiled

C.J. let her head fall backwards and rolled it against the back of the bed.

Danny took her hand in a tight grip.

She squeezed his hand as much as it hurt. She took a huge breath

It was hard labor. The hardest thing C.J. had ever had to do, and she had done some terribly hard things in her life. She was a strong woman, she'd gone through them all with flying colors.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," C.J. let out and breathed. Danny coached her on. She leaned her head against his head.

"Just a little longer C.J.," the doctor told her. "We're getting into the transition period, this is the last of it."

"Were have I heard that before?..." she growled. She let out a cry and a deep breath as another contraction came.

C.J. took a huge breath, she almost laughed, it wasn't fun, but she just couldn't believe it was all happening. It was so hard. Nothing had prepared her for this. She looked tired and drained of her last drop of energy.

"I changed my mind," she said, holding onto Danny for dear life. She writhed her head back and took a deep breath. "I don't want a baby any more."

"One more push, C.J. Come on." The doctor lifted his head.

"You said that last time," she yelled "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." And she gave a push.

Danny held her hand with both of his now. "C.J. Come on. Dig in." He kissed the side of her head "You can do this."

"Yeah.." She gritted through her teeth. "You try this one time, why don't you?" And what felt like the biggest one of all came.

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH." C.J. let out a huge breath.

* * *

**The Bartlet Farmhouse- Manchester, NH**

* * *

Abbey put down the phone with a smile.

"Jed!" Abbey yelled. "Jed." She ran from the kitchen into the living room. "C.J. had the baby."

Jed took off his reading glasses."But, she's not due for a few more weeks, isn't she? Is she alright?"

Abbey just smiled huge.

* * *

C.J. took a breath and leaned her head against Danny's hand. Her eyes were full of tears. So where Danny's. It felt like a lifetime, but only a moment passed while they waited for that first cry. Once the baby let out her first yell, Danny and C.J. relaxed.

Danny's eyes were full of tears.

So we're C.J.'s

C.J. leaned back, her head sweaty and relieved. Danny squeezed her hand and kissed the top of her head.

Their eyes lit up as their daughter was brought to them.

"Ahh..." C.J. cried out with the amazing love for her child. It was so much, she couldn't believe it was possible. After nine months of waiting, she had a child in her arms.

Danny was so over come he was about to lose it. "You did _so_ good," he said to C.J. His voice was breaking and there was a huge lump in his throat. The pride was over whelming. Danny Concannon was a father. "You did so good." He kissed the side of her head.

Danny, like Jed Bartlet and Toby Ziegler before him, had a daughter. He never thought it would hit him so hard, none of them had.

* * *

**The White House, Washington DC**

* * *

"Seriously?" Josh walked out of the Oval Office holding a piece of paper in his hand, and looked directly at Margaret.

"Kathleen Cregg Concannon."

"Really?" Sam came out after him.

Margaret had a huge smile. "Born a little after Ten thirty this morning. Seven pounds, seven ounces– named after C.J.'s mother." Margaret pulled out her phone. " Danny texted Carol a picture, and she then texted me a copy, and then pretty much all of DC -why they didn't send me a picture I don't know, but I guess they were a little busy."

Josh and Sam both got a beep on their phones. Simultaneously, they both took their phones from their back belt.

They all stood looking at their phones for a moment. Then they all switched phones.

"This is so weird." Josh was agog.

"I know. " So was Sam

"One of us has a baby."

"Okay." Sam looked up. "That's _not_ what I was thinking." He paused and looked at Josh. "Toby has kids."

"I know I just... Danny always seemed part of us, you know...one of the gang..."

"Although not always on our side of the fence." Sam smiled.

"I just, ya know...it's like two of us had a kid...like two in our family. Two of us have kids."

"Sounds incestuous," Rona remarked as she walked past.

"And illegal," Sam joked in his dead pan way.

"C.J. has a kid," Josh said with a small sense of awe, looking at the picture on his phone. "Danny and C.J. have a kid."

Sam nodded his head.

* * *

A little over two years earlier...

**2005**

* * *

"He died, Josh." Annabeth told Josh in the hospital lobby. His mouth was open from the shock as he took her head in his chest.

* * *

**2008**

* * *

"And I baptize this child Kathleen Cregg Concannon," said the priest.

C.J. held the baby and Danny stood behind her as their child was anointed with holy water, and baptized wearing the same dress C.J. had worn, and her mother had worn before her.

"May her life be of great joy to her parents. Every birth brings a new beginning. There is a time for everything. And a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. So is the will of god. Let this child bring forth joy.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER 17**


	18. Chapter 18: Glorious Sadness

**On The Road With Danny Concannon: '05-'06**

"_Glorious Sadness"_

**Companion Episode**: Election Day 2 & Requiem

_Notes: Please review. Each chapter if you can. I see each chapter as it's own story and theme. Your full and honest thoughts are so helpful in all ways. Thank you._

* * *

**C.J.**

You know when I came over Wednesday night and it was late and we didn't really talk we just—

**Danny**

I have a vague recollection.

–**Requiem**

* * *

_Spend all your time waiting_

_For that second chance_

_For a break that would make it okay_

_There's always one reason_

_To feel not good enough_

_And it's hard at the end of the day_

_I need some distraction_

_Oh beautiful release_

_Memory seeps from my veins_

_Let me be empty_

_And weightless and maybe_

_I'll find some peace tonight_

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find some comfort here _

–**Angel Sarah M**

* * *

"_If I wanted Danny Concannon–I could have him."_

—**C.J. Cregg**

* * *

"Danny..." she said breathlessly. "Danny..." she said with a shudder. "Danny..." the words trailed out of her mouth like water.

He never thought his own name could sound so sweet.

* * *

Early Thursday Morning

**November 10th **

The Present (2005)

The Home Of Danny Concannon

Washington, DC

* * *

The sound of rain hit the window like small rocks skipping on a pound. Thump, thump, thump. It was almost hypnotic. Thump, thump, thump, and then a small trickle of water.

C.J. laid in the bed, looking up directly at the ceiling, she seemed lost in thought. The rustling of the trees and shrubs from the cold November rain sent shadows between the shades and onto her face. She ran her hands through Danny's hair, his head warmly set along her stomach, the whiskers of his beard lightly coming through the thin sheet that separated the two of them.

His hair, not as red as when she first met him, still felt young and soft between her fingers. Her eyes began to fill with tears and she wasn't sure why.

Danny, asleep, looking like a little boy, felt so right against her skin.

She'd tell him of this moment later, years later, when all her fears regarding him were gone, when they were no longer unsure of what they had together, when he wasn't just her lover, but her best friend again. Her husband. And the father of her child.

C.J. felt safe and secure in Danny's arms, she always knew she would, but knew she couldn't go there. She couldn't. Yet tonight she did. There were so many things she wanted to tell him, wanted to share with him, things they had shared without words. And choices she had made that night.

Danny seemed to understand her without having to say anything. Just hours before they had connected in a way she always knew they would, a way Danny had always told her, in so many words, would happen. He had predicted it all. Almost.

Just the idea of him distracted her. It had years before and she knew it'd be worse today, so close to the finish line. When he had called her in October, for dinner, just one month to this very day, she knew it was starting again, and she missed him. She missed that connection with another person, she missed her connection with him, with Danny, her past, and she found herself saying yes. Yes to dinner.

She wasn't surprised when he called. Subconsciously she knew he'd be back. That she'd pick up that phone and he'd be calling again. Someday he'd be back. Right on schedule. Yet after seven years of waiting, and just three months shy of that proverbial finish line, she caved. She caved when it all came tumbling down.

Before Tuesday she told herself she'd beat it, she wouldn't give in – in all her unhappiness, she'd be strong. In all her loneliness, after all her boys had left her side, Sam, Toby, Josh, she'd still be strong, she had to be. She always was. She was a strong girl. A strong woman. She'd made a promise to herself and to the President. But, then Leo died. Life was too short for waiting. There was no more waiting. No more following some one else's plan. She had her own agenda.

* * *

_Hello, I said hello_

_Is this the only place you thought to go_

_Am I the only man you ever had_

_Or am I just the last surviving friend that you know_

**Harmony Elton John**

* * *

**The Home of Danny Concannon**

**11:50 pm Wednesday, November 9th**

* * *

There was a lone knock at the door.

Danny opened the door to find the familiar face of Agent Sullivan at the door.

Danny waited while the man checked his apartment. They thanked each other and the agent left. Danny walked toward the door to welcome C.J. in, but he saw her pause with her agent for a moment.

The agent nodded to C.J. He motioned his head to the agent behind him and they walked out of view as C.J. walked into to Danny's apartment, her head lowered and her arms crossed over herself.

Danny closed the door behind her.

"Your apartment's still small," she quipped, sucking in her tears.

Danny took sight of the side of her heavy face as she passed him. His heart wanted to break.

"Small life," he joked softly.

C.J. turned. "You don't have a small life," she said to him with all concern. She was a little sensitive tonight.

"Sorry, another joke. I won't–"

"No—" She nodded her head. "I like it when you joke. I need a good joke." She dropped her bag on the table near the door. She took slow steps into Danny's living room.

"You okay?" he asked, knowing she wasn't. He leaned his head in her direction as she passed him.

C.J. shook her head no and sat down on Danny's coach.

Danny walked over to her slowly. He sat down next to her. He took her hand and waited for her to speak.

She choked back a tear and lifted her head.

Danny waited.

C.J. looked up into Danny's eyes, his patient eyes, they twinkled with feeling for her. She put her hand on the side of Danny's arm. She looked down.

Danny waited, trying to catch her eyes with his.

C.J. took a breath and sighed, she looked up, and kissed Danny, light on the mouth, leaving her lips on his until her light kiss turned into a hard smoldering one.

Danny joined in right away. Danny Concannon was not a shy man. Danny Concannon was an excellent kisser. He knew a go ahead when he saw one and Danny didn't miss a beat

They broke apart, still breathless and silent.

Danny sent his head into C.J.'s neck and let his hands explore her body, because C.J. let him.

Her body arched into the arm of the couch and she let his lips move further down her neck.

Her voice, from the back of her throat, made sounds Danny had only dreamed of her making, making Danny move on, press forward.

She ran her fingers through his hair and around his neck.

They starting kissing again and his body pressed against her on the couch. They broke apart breathless and they just stayed where they were for a silent moment. Only the sound of their breath was heard, their heads resting together.

Her hand against his beard.

They looked at each other.

C.J. looked sincere.

Danny looked pensive, his blue eyes only seeing her, seeing C.J.

They both seemed in a haze, a breathless haze.

C.J. leaned forward and started to take off her jacket.

He helped her along with it.

They kissed on and off as Danny helped C.J. pull off the remainder of her jacket by the sleeve.

C.J. lifted up her body slightly as they kissed without any sense of time or place.

She pulled away and turned her head to the side.

Danny took a heavy breath through his nose.

C.J. could feel Danny's breath on the side of face.

C.J. stood up from the couch.

Danny's hand followed along her body as much as he could as she left his presence and lifted up off the couch. He could see she was starting to unbutton her blouse as she left his side and walked away from the livingroom. Danny took a large breath. He looked in her direction and stood up. He followed C.J. He knew where she was going.

Danny slowly walked the length of his small apartment and faced the bedroom doorway.

There in the center of it was C.J. looking like a keyhole like figure, in the center of the archway. Any protest he was about to verbalize went out the widow as she dropped her shirt, her back to him, nothing but a small camisole over her naked back.

He couldn't resist her, not like that. Danny took a moment, soaking it in. It all seemed foreboding. When she had come to the door, he suspected why she was there. And he didn't care. He just wanted her.

C.J. sat down on the edge of the bed. She looked up at him, her hair falling to the side of her face. It was his final go ahead signal. Her eyes just gazed up at him.

Danny walked up to C.J. at a quick pace and sent his hand to her face and his mouth to her lips with full determination and passion. No more holding back. Yes, Danny had more to give.

C.J. slowly fell backwards onto the bed, from the quick pace of his kiss. She laid on the bed, Danny on his knees above her. She helped him with his shirt. C.J. sent her hand over his chest. She smiled large.

Danny kissed her, and they were caught up for a moment, but Danny suddenly pulled his lips from hers. He lowered his head and shook it. He looked in pain.

C.J. didn't know why he stopped.

"Oh, C.J..." He shook his head. "We..." He looked at her. "Oh, god we can't- I don't-"

And C.J. pulled something from her pocket and showed the small square packet to Danny.

Danny smiled and laughed. He was taken aback. Someone knew what their plans were going to be that night and it wasn't Danny. His sense of foreboding was not at all off.

"You..." he laughed and grinned shaking his head.

She smiled and gave a slight shake of her head;

Danny sighed, "When you took that agent aside you..." He chuckled, "You asked him to wait by the by the stairs, didn't you? That's why they didn't wait in front of my door this time?"

C.J. smiled and bit her lower lip.

Danny's mouth was open like a barn door.

C.J. lifted her head up and stopped Danny's mouth with a kiss.

He kissed her back and couldn't stop laughing for a moment.

They were both almost giddy at the prospect of something seven years in the making

This was what they had been waiting for a long time and here it was. It was happening.

It was too late to stop now. And for the first time in seven years they didn't talk, they did everything but talk. They had talked for too long.

Clothes everywhere, barely clothed, happiness in the sadness. The glorious sadness. It started out in sadness, but then there was so much joy between them.

Not just the act, but the fact that they were finally together - this was different from all the other times C.J. Cregg had sought comfort in the arms of a man. Unlike Marco, or the second time with Ben, or even John Hoynes, C.J. actually wanted to be with the man she was with. She actually looked this man in the eye and saw him. She didn't zone out, think of anyone or anything else, she was there with him, with Danny, doing what she wanted. She wasn't taking the one she cared about for granted.

And for the first time, C.J. was doing what she wanted. She wasn't following anyone else's message or agenda, only her own. For he wasn't any other man, he was Danny. In her words, "it was wonderful." Wonderful to do everything but what they always did, speak. Again, they had done enough talking. Seven years of nothing but talking.

Danny couldn't believe it himself. C.J. Cregg was in his bedroom, in his bed. It was glorious, in all the sadness, it was glorious.

* * *

**C.J.**

Did that make you feel bad?

**Danny**

In a— In a what?

**C.J**.

You know— used.

**Danny**

For my body?

**C.J.**

Something like that.

**Danny**

I'll work through it.

**C.J.**

You sure?

**Danny**

It happens. Women want me.

* * *

And so C.J. smiled in Danny's bed, hours later, stroking Danny's hair, and content in the moment. She bit her lip and smiled. She couldn't help it. Her entire body felt the glow of something she hadn't felt in a long time, happiness. She no longer felt numb.

Danny, asleep in her arms, had a sense of the clarity he found in her eyes the first day he met her, when a thunderbolt hit his brain: "This is the woman I'm gonna marry." And he didn't feel so lost anymore.

They both didn't feel so empty anymore.

They were both starting to heal. Heal from it all.

* * *

**C.J.**

It's just- I know we have a lot to talk about and I don't want to leapfrog

any of it but it was kind of wonderful to just—

**Danny**

Not talk.

**C.J.**

Not even a little.

–_Requiem_

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER 18**


	19. Chapter 19: Brand New Day

**On The Road With Danny Concannon**: 05'06

"_Brand New Day"_

**Companion Episode**: Requiem _7.18_

_Notes: Feedback etc. Thanks sooo much. Please and thank yous. :)_

_

* * *

_

_Gently pass me into morning. For the night has been so cold_

– _**Sarah Mclachlan "Answer"**_

_

* * *

_

Friday Morning

_

* * *

_

Danny wore his best black suit. It had a tie to match, even suspenders, which he opted not to go for, and a nice pair of shoes. Danny took his shoes and sat on the edge of the bed, running his buffer over them, one by one, for a perfect shine. Danny couldn't remember the last time he wore his black suit, it had been that long since he had attended a funeral. It must have been a long time, he thought, for unlike most of his old clothes, after his weight loss, the suit fit perfectly. Too perfectly.

Danny took his jacket off the bed and put it on, buttoned the bottom button, checked the collar and so forth, and finally smoothed down the outside. He checked himself in the mirror. All looked in place. There was something different about the image he saw of himself in the mirror. He didn't knowwhat. Maybe a little more of that confidence was back.

He took his wallet off the bureau and put it in his pocket. He then continued the motion by grabbing his keys. Danny turned around, ready to go, making his eyes take in his bed -- not yet made yet -- reminding him of the morning before and sending his thoughts back.

_

* * *

_

Thursday Morning

_

* * *

_

Danny grumbled, as if still asleep under the sheets, his head in a daze of half sleep and full contentment. It was the first time in a long time Danny had woken up with a sense of purpose. A sense of the future. The future was something he had always been able to see clearly in his head, and now, in the past few months, maybe even the past year, it had grown too dim to see. Too cloudy with uncertainty.

Lately, his present tense had somehow been filled with only a feeling of bleakness he couldn't seem to control. A man who had always seen the future as clear as day now saw himself at the precipice of an unforeseen future, stagnant and undefined. For a man who was always striving for success, the next step, the road head, the next challenge, the future had become a scary thought. It was the not knowing that made him feel unlike himself. Danny always knew. Danny was always certain. In recent days, and weeks, that talent -- being sure of his own future -- seemed to elude him.

But one goal was certain. One goal was always certain. And now, in the early mornings of November 10th, he felt his present, waking life, to have less of that stagnant feeling. He felt energized. He rarely woke up feeling that way anymore.

After eights years of knowing, seven years of waiting, he had Claudia Jean. He had C.J. He'd been with her, felt her skin against his, for real, not in a dream, better than a dream.

And no matter what was in his future and what was in his past Danny could be okay with not knowing. He could be okay with living in the present; floating around looking for a new purpose. He had something to hold on to in the wind. He had her. He felt a small surge of his talents resurfacing.

Danny reached his arm out over the bed for her. His hand running over the ridges in the mattress so often left empty over the years. He reached for her warm body next to him, but no C.J. Danny turned his head as he heard a sound.

"C.J.?" he asked wearily in his sleep.

He saw her smiling, an awkward, I've been caught look on her face, in mid reach for her shoes.

She was dressed, her shirt was half buttoned, and her jacket collar was pulled up in the back, but she was dressed.

"I have to go," she said sweetly and still awkwardly, her eyes wide open.

"What time is it?" he asked, still unsure what was going on.

"It's five." She started to put her shoes on.

"It's early— " He took a deep breath through his nose. He lifted his head and rested on his elbows. "You don't have to go." The sheets rustled from his movements.

"I do," she said with the look of complete and utter sorrow. "I have to get home and take a shower."

"You can take a shower here." He took her arm.

She smiled. "I have to get a change of clothes. I can't go into work dressed like I was–"

"Let me get you something to eat." Danny sat up looking around for something to throw on. "...you won't have time to eat."

"I'll have Margaret get me something." She looked at her watch. "Oh, god..." She looked at him. "I'm sorry." She had so much hurt in her eyes.

"It's okay." He had that look on his face. That sweet understanding look.

It killed her for so many reasons. She leaned in and kissed him, letting her hand linger along the side of his face before pulling away.

"I'm gonna be busy all day— I won't have time..." She stammered like she does. She was caught in his eyes. She wanted him to understand. She wanted him to know it wasn't him. She couldn't get away. There would be no time.

He knew it. He always did. He could read her like a book. "I'll see you Friday," he assured her.

"Friday." She took a breath. Danny saw the hurt on her face.

"Come here." He reached his arm for her. She saw the gesture and she knelt on the bed with one knee. Danny reached his arm to the back of her head to pull her in for a long kiss.

For a moment they got caught up in it, leaning back onto the bed, before C.J., pulling Danny with her, pulled back and finally let go of the kiss. She looked like she might cry, not for leaving him, but for having to leave him that way.

"I have to go."

"Go," he smiled bittersweetly. "I'll see ya tomorrow."

And she was gone. Her smell still lingered in his sheets, on his skin, and through all the tendons of his body. And there he was, like most days, left alone with his feelings.

But, nothing was going to mess with Danny's mood. He fell back to sleep with a smile on his face.

_

* * *

_

Friday Morning

_

* * *

_

In his apartment, Danny looked at his watch, it was time to go. This wasn't going to fun for anyone.

Danny made his way into the Cathedral. It was packed. He took a few steps and walked around, pausing before taking another look around. A woman excused herself past Danny and he moved out of the way with a polite word.

He saw a seat a few rows from the back and took it. He was only there a moment when he heard a familiar voice.

"Danny Concannon."

Danny turned his head and looked up at the woman calling his name. "Amy Gardner." He looked at her with a half smile.

"How ya doin'?" She paused and looked around. "Under the circumstances," she trailed on. Amy seemed to never have a great way with words. She was blunt. She looked around and back at Danny. "Can I sit here?"

"Sure." Danny moved over.

"Didn't think they'd let the fuzz into this kinda thing." She sat down and looked around at the faces in the crowd before looking back at Danny. "Oh, yeah that's right they don't call you people the fuzz, that's the cops."

"The President invited me."

"Yeah..." Amy smiled half way. "That's nice" She had that nervous awkwardness that people get at funerals, but it was starting to dissipate a little. "Josh talked about how you and the President got all buddy-buddy during the campaign." She looked down for a moment before looking back up.

"Ahh– yeah..."

"Well, I don't mean that you two did each other's nails and played _Mystery Date_ or anything—" She looked at Danny's confused face. "Well, you know –"

"Yeah, I got it."

"I'm _so_ bad at these things. I hate them really." She paused. "I never know how to act. I never know what to say." She paused looking around. "Leo was a great man, he really was..." She looked down and then up. "But, I didn't know him... like these people did." She caught site of Josh talking to someone in the front pews. "I feel, you know, anything I could say –" She lowered her head.

"Wouldn't really mean much?"

"Yeah," she looked at Danny. She looked away and caught site of the President and looked down. "Do you know how he's doing?"

"The President?" Danny asked, his face showing the pain he knew the President must be feeling.

"The President? Josh?"

"No. I don't." He paused and took a breath. Danny always felt so much, it was his way. "I can only imagine."

"Yeah," Amy said, in her way.

Danny caught sight of C.J. swamped by people. She looked uneasy, thin and frail, her hair pulled up to reveal her delicate face and neck.

Amy noticed Danny looking at something. She got that look in her eye. She took a look at what Danny was looking at and then back at Danny.

Danny didn't notice. He knocked his fist into his left hand and looked around.

Amy had a devilish look on her face. "You still have a _thing_ for her?"

"I"m sorry?" He looked at Amy.

"Her." She looked in C.J,'s direction. "C.J. You had a thing?"

"I"m sorry?" he asked seriously. After last night Danny felt even more protective of C.J. And gentleman don't tell tales.

"Oh, come on..." Amy went for her purse and pulled out her phone, shutting it off. "You have a thing for C.J., Donna's got a thing for Josh — from what I hear, a while back Sam had a thing for Mallory."

"Ahhh... Yeah..." Danny just shrugged it off, laughing at her, unsure what to make of the situation. "I didn't think you were the gossipy type, Amy."

"Ahh, I hear things." Amy caught Danny looking at C.J. again.

Danny tried to pretend he wasn't looking.

"Ahh yeah..." She laughed it off, knowing she was right. She placed her phone back in her purse.

They sat in silence for a moment.

"I got an advance copy of your thing –" Amy adjusted her purse on her lap.

"The memoriam – yeah, it's gonna run in tomorrow's paper."

They both looked straight ahead.

"It was really good." She had emotion in her eyes.

"Thanks."

"No, really good." She looked down. "It was a beautiful tribute."

"Yeah...well..." Danny was never good at being acknowledged for his work. "I can't take all the credit."

"Yeah," she said sincerely.

The service started.

Danny lowered his head.

During the service, Danny couldn;t take his eyes off C.J. It was just like those days in the Press Room. He couldn't stop watching her.

No matter what was going on, kidnapping, shootings, he'd find his eye wandering over to her face. It didn't matter where she was, standing to the side while others briefed or at the podium herself, he would just keep an ear out to whatever was going on and find his gaze wandering to her face. Looking at her, he could check in with her mood, see if she was alright, be sure she was okay.

His concern for C.J. was always in the front of his mind -- her well being and his work. Danny has always been a man with a great deal of empathy. He was a man who felt the pain of others, it was his job and he was just that kind of man. But, when it came to C.J.'s pain it was the kind of pain that hit him the hardest. Her pain sank into his gut. Sometimes, in the Press Room, he could only could see the side of her face, and or the back of her head, but he felt like he needed to keep watch.

To mourn has always been at its core a selfish thing. We mourn a loss, no matter how old, or how young, we mourn the fact that we will no longer have the lost person in our lives. We mourn the fact that we can no longer be with our loved one, hug them, and hold them within our breast.

Mourning is a selfish thing. No matter how you slice it, how you dice it, the loss of a life, that feeling of loss, is the hole, the empty space, that person leaves in our own lives. We fill that space with memories and through those memories that person lives on.

Danny mourned the loss of a great man, a great friend to C.J., and a great friend to the country. He knew Leo more than most Americans, more than most reporters. It was completely appropriate for Danny to be there, he wanted to be there, but Amy was right they didn't know Leo the way Josh and C.J. did, like Charlie or the President, Toby or even Sam. Not like anyone who worked and lived with him on the campaign trail or in the West Wing. That was something Danny and Amy would never know.

The requiem started and Danny lowered his head again.

After the service, people mingled, people brown-nosed, and made connections, as is often done at affairs of state.

Danny, always the observer, watched it all, unsure of his place. He felt very out of pace with the festivities. He wasn't working, nor did he feel there a reason to use this event as a spring board to future work. He didn't feel any urge: it wasn't the place. Danny was a good man.

Standing at the back of the Cathedral, he placed his hands in his pockets, and noticed her, at the front of the chapel, fending off people, looking completely out of place. He took his hands out of his pockets, and took a step, but paused at the site of masses descending on her. Danny decided to be the only one in the place to let her be, the only one in her life to be hassle free. He'd find a way to get her alone.

Soon it didn't even matter, for she faded from view, in the crowd, and Danny himself was distracted by someone and then someone else. He found himself shaking hands with old friends. He ran into to Nancy McNalley, a favorite interview subject of his. He felt she always liked him, but when they came face to face, she was a hard nut to crack. Nancy seemed to have fun with the fact that Danny would never get anything out of her she didn't want to reveal. Danny noticed John Hoynes and then Hafley from across the room. After a moment he came across Margaret and they talked briefly. She thanked him for his concern that night.

Later Danny held Carol for a moment while she softly wept on his shoulder. She apologized and Danny only sweetly said, "No problem."

And, as he was about to leave by the door, Danny looked back into the Cathedral to see Toby, sitting alone, no one talking to him. Danny wanted to approach him, but decided to keep his distance, out of respect. Respect for both Toby and Leo.

Danny looked around and noticed the place was nearly cleared. He wasn't invited to the service at Arlington; that was private. He noticed C.J. was nowhere in site.

Danny walked down the steps, past the press, he felt very far removed, it felt strange – something he wondered if he'd have to get used to. He buttoned his coat closed as he reached the bottom stairs. He took sight of Josh.

"Josh." Danny and Josh shook hands.

"Danny. Thanks for coming."

"Of course." He paused, looking for the words. "He was a great man, Josh." He patted his friend on the shoulder.

"Yeah." Josh looked around not really wanting to take it.

"It was a beautiful service."

"Yeah..." Josh nodded his head. He looked at Danny. "You going to this thing? At Arlington."

"That's for family and friends, but I'll be at the other thing later."

"You're welcome to come—"

"It's not my place." He saw the sight of C..J. getting into a car. "You need to get going. I'll let you go."

They shook hands and parted.

Danny caught site of Mallory greeting people. He walked right up to her and gave her his condolences. "He was a great man."

_

* * *

_

Later...

_

* * *

_

Danny sat in his car, he felt ridiculous, but he didn't want to lose his chance. He kept the engine running to keep the heat circulation going. The radio played and he held his hands on the steering wheel.

After a while, not too long, he saw the Presidential motorcade go past. That was his cue. Danny turned off the engine. He stepped out of the car and closed the door, the cars still passing, the sounds and lights still going. He walked toward the White House. His breath was visible.

Danny signed in and was given a hard pass. He clipped it to his pocket. That was weird, having had a press pass around his neck for so many years. He took a breath and looked around. The old haunt. He smiled. So many memories. It was like coming home.

Danny took the long way to C.J.'s side office door, hoping to by pass Margaret and get right in to see her.

Carol did a double take as Danny passed her on his way toward the Roosevelt room and C.J.'s office. He had a huge smile on his face.

Danny peeked his head into C.J.'s open side door. Perfect timing.

* * *

Margaret's office, moments later...

* * *

Margaret, having just had a door shut in her face moments before -- a common occurrence lately -- sat at her desk, waiting for someone whose call she had returned for C.J. to call her back. She turned in her chair and stared at C.J.'s closed office door. Carol walked up with a folder in her hand. 

"You okay?" Carol asked, handing Margaret the folder.

"Ahh, yeah..." Margaret looked around and down before turning her chair back toward Carol and her desk.

Carol could see Margaret was not okay.

Margaret looked back at the door. Carol saw it.

"What's going on in there?"Margaret paused. She looked up at Carol and took her folder from her. "I have no idea."

_

* * *

_

C.J.'s office, moments later

_

* * *

_

C.J. smiled at Danny who started to lean in for a kiss, his hand around her waist. There was a knock at the door. C.J. lowered her head.

Danny coughed with a smile.

"Come in." C.J. had to get back to work.

Danny walked away from her.

Margaret walked in, not really knowing why she felt awkward.

"Ahhh, I have the German ambassador on line one."

Danny, with his back to the side door, and his hands in his pockets, smiled at C.J.

She smiled back.

"I have to get back to —" C.J. didn't even have to finish her sentence.

"I'm gone." He opened the side door and exited.

C.J. just smiled. It had been a long time since she had done that in her own office.

His left hand in his pocket, Danny hummed, and seemed to glide out of C.J.'s office and into the hallway. Carol, on her way back to the communications office, stopped at the sight of him walking out of C.J.'s office. Now that was something she hadn't seen in a long, long time. It made her think. It made her smile for the past. She felt something else was going on there, but she just couldn't place it.

Danny felt his smile was giving it all away, but he couldn't help it. He was shocked he hadn't given himself away in the last day and a half, but somehow he'd been able to keep it all to himself.

* * *

Thursday Morning

The Office of Danny Concannon

The Washington Post

_

* * *

_

"Danny?" Maisy yelled his name. "Danny?" She did it again. "Danny, yo!"

Danny turned his head.

"If it isn't the man who made _besotted_ not just a word, but a state of mind." She smiled slyly. "Long time no see."

"Hey, Maisy."

"You were like off somewhere?" she asked.

He smiled. "Nothing, nothing." Danny just couldn't stop thinking about the night he had spent with C.J.

"What can I do ya for, Maz?" He smiled.

"You're in a good mood." She seemed leery of his good mood.

"I'm always in a good mood."

"You getting all your fluids?" she asked, wondering if there was another reason for his temper.

"Yesss." He didn't need a mother.

"I came by for that recommendation you said—"

"Oh, yeah." He stood up.

"You forgot."

"I didn't forget. I just didn't get around to it. I'm sorry. I've been distracted lately..."

Maisy looked sad. That wasn't like Danny.

"How about this." He took his jacket off the back of his chair and threw it on happily. "I'll take you for coffee and I'll write it while we sit. On me."

"Sound good." She nodded her head.

Danny closed his laptop and went for his coat. He put his coat on and paused for a moment. "You know what, Maisy, why don't you meet me down there. I have a phone call to make."

"Okay." She left the room, a little inquisitively.

Danny closed the door and took out his cell phone. He paused and decided not to call. He placed the phone back in his pocket. He could wait. Just like he told her. He would wait.

_

* * *

_

At the coffee house

_

* * *

_

Danny typed with a happy look on his face.

Maisy read her magazine and drank her coffee.

Danny paused for a moment, his thoughts traveling elsewhere. The sounds of C.J.'s moans echoed in his ears.

"Danny?" Maisy tried to get his attention. "Danny!" She snapped her fingers in front of his face.

Danny snapped out of it and looked at her.

"Sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night." He went back to his typing.

"I tried calling you last night. Your cell was off." She picked at her muffin.

"I was working from home."

"_Yeah_, I called your cell."

"What?" He looked up. "I was working from home."

"With your cell off?"

"I must have been sleeping." He hit the backspace a few times and finished his thought.

"You? At midnight? "

"I need your... flash drive." Danny put out his hand.

Maisy handed Danny her keys which had her flash drive attached to it.

"I'm gonna save it– aren't you glad I made you buy one of these things?" He stuck the flash drive into the side of his laptop.

Maisy nodded her head sarcastically – something only she could do.

"And then email it to your email for safe keeping." He typed as he spoke.

There was a pause between them while Maisy waited for some kind of answer from Danny. "So, what were you doing the other night?"

"I'll be done in a second."

"Danny?" she asked him.

Danny took Maisy's flash drive from his computer and handed it back to her. "I went to bed early. That's it." He smiled. "Is that a crime?"

Maisy took her keys and learned back in her seat. She didn't seem convinced. She opened her mouth to speak and Danny seemed to know something else was coming.

"You want me to finish this or not?" He stopped his typing and looked at her.

Maisy could only nod her head and smile at him. "Okay," she said as if to say, case settled.

Danny finished his typing, but his mind was off somewhere, thinking about her, her skin, C.J.'s body against his, the sounds she made, the feelings she made him feel. It was all he could do not to think about it.

_

* * *

_

Friday Afternoon

_The White House_

_

* * *

_

Danny walked the halls of the White House with a smile on his face.

He found himself walking near the Press Room, past C.J.'s old office. He smiled. He had to look in. He had to visit his old haunt.

Danny walked past all the empty cubicles and into the upper press room. He smiled, remembering the moments and the time shared. It felt like going back to your old high school. Your locker seems smaller and you can't believe you were once so young.

Danny walked down the small steps and into the main press room. His left hand in his pocket, he just couldn't help but grin. He looked up at the podium, where he had watched C.J. so many times over the years. He paused for a moment next to a standing television. Danny scratched the side of his head and noticed his old seat.

Danny sat down in the fourth row and looked out. He leaned back. He let out a sigh and looked around before leaning back again. At some point he closed his eyes and drifted off.

Again, like the day before, thoughts of her ran into his head. Thoughts of C.J. He had no idea how much time had passed, but it felt like he'd just closed his eyes for a moment.

"Danny?" Carol called Danny's name.

"Yeah?" He opened his eyes, trying to pretend he hadn't been sleeping. His groggy voice gave him up. He hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before last.

"It's starting, if you wanna go in now."

"Thanks, Carol." He smiled.

Carol lowered her head. The tears were coming again.

Danny walked to her in the doorway. "Here." He took a handkerchief from his pocket. He was beginning to know she needed it more than he did.

She laughed and took it. "I thought only people like Leo still carried handkerchiefs."

"Came with the suit." He smiled in his sweet joking way, trying to make her laugh. It worked.

Carol laughed. She sucked in her tears. She handed Danny back his handkerchief and they walked into the hall together.

_

* * *

_

The Lobby Of The White House...

* * *

Danny, walked into the lobby and the wake for Leo McGarry. It was like a who's who of Washington. For Danny, it was like being at an alumni get together. The cast of characters from his past all together in one room, like a Gilligan's Island reunion movie. 

"Danny Concannon," said a voice in sweet southern tones.

"Ainsley Hayes," Danny said, putting out his hand.

"I didn't think you'd remember me," she said in her shy style. They shook hands.

"How could I not," he laughed. They walked together deeper into the thing.

"You do a couple a' Meet The Presses with a person five odd years ago–"

"I think you've been on TV since then..."

"Well, that _was_ a while ago," she laughed it off. Her eyes glittered.

Danny wasn't sure, but he got the hint she was flirting with him. He shook it off.

"It was a beautiful service."

"Yes, yes, it was." Danny nodded his head and took a breath. He looked around for C.J., wondering where she was

"I've been following your articles in the Post — you're really writing some great things these days."

"Compared to before?" he chuckled.

They approached a table with glasses of wine. Danny put his hand out. "Would you like?"

"Yes, thank you." She took the glass of wine he offered her. "I've followed your work for a number of years–"

"Really?" He nodded his head.

"And I think you're doing some of your best work." She smiled into her drink. "I really do."

Danny caught sight of C.J. She was looking at him. He smiled at her slyly while holding his glass of wine. Trying to be suave, but just coming off cute, in his foolish way, he swished his drink at her.

C.J. let out a large sigh.

Danny winked and continued talking to Ainsley. He watched C.J. from the corner of his eye, wondering if he should approach, but then she was whisked away by Barry Goodwin.

"Perhaps sometime we can have coffee," Anisely asked in her sweet way.

"Ahhh...yeah." Danny was looking at C.J. but caught the sentence finally. "I"m sorry?" Danny looked at her.

"You should call me." She smiled. "Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going in search of a job...and one of those cracker things with cheese on them…." She smiled and started to walk away.

Danny just looked at her, unsure if he was seeing what he was seeing.

Ainsley looked sweetly over her shoulder. "Goodbye, Danny Concannon of the Washington Post."

Yeah, she was definitely hitting on him.

Danny looked down at his drink and swished it around again, laughing to himself. He took a drink. He felt good, he looked good, and it was showing.

Danny mulled around the room for a while. At certain moments he took looks at C.J. and she took heavy glances at him -- always catching each other's eye without any one else knowing, waiting for a time when they could talk alone.

Both of them were trying not to flash back to the moments of their night together. Both were playing it over in their heads.

Finally, C.J. found herself alone, but no Danny. She tried to be casual, which wasn't C.J.'s best color. Acting a part behind the podium in the Press Room, standing firm in the Sit Room, or taking a side on an issue she was fine, but real life was always harder than hiding behind a message or a statement. To C.J., real life, real emotions were the real foreign policy.

Danny saw C.J. out of the corner of his eye, the party was starting to thin out and he could tell she was coming toward him. He broke from his group, and asked if she wanted a drink.

She said, "Yes..."

_

* * *

_

Much Later...

_

* * *

_

Danny looked over at C.J. and back at Josh. "Nice wake." He wasn't very happy.

The two men sat in disgusted unhappiness. Neither knowing they each held the key to each other's joy.

_

* * *

_

10:45

The Office of Danny Concannon

_

* * *

_

Danny sat, not too happy, at his desk, in his office, still dressed in his funeral blacks, his black jacket resting over the chair behind him. He typed furiously with the passion of his by-gone youth.

His phone rang and Danny looked at the display with a smile, a cocky smile.

"Hey," he said with an all too telling thought in his brain. "Where are you?"

"At your apartment. You're not here."

"I know that." He paused and stood. "What are you doing at my apartment?"

"So we could–"

"Hey, hey!" Danny got defensive in his cute way. "You said it was off! You said it was _off_!" He gestured with his hands

"Well, change of plans..." she gritted her teeth to speak in hushed tones.

"You can't just do that. You can't just say it's on and not let me know about it. That's not playing fair."

"I thought you'd be here."

"Well, I'm not," he smirked. "What about Donna?"

"She's back at my apartment. I told her I had to go back to the White House. I thought maybe we could... and then I'll go home... I guess I'll just go back—"

"No, no," Danny almost leaped from behind his desk. "Stay where you are. I'm coming." Danny ran around his office like a mad man. He grabbed his wallet off his desk and took his phone by his ear so he could grab his jacket with a whirl. "_Do not _leave. Stay right where you are."

"Danny–"

"Ten– fifteen minutes, tops– just give me fifteen." He looked around for his keys and grabbed them. "Don't move." And he hung up the phone. He ran out the door.

_

* * *

_

Outside the home of Danny Concannon

_

* * *

_

Danny ran out of the cab as C.J. walked down the steps of his brownstone apartment building. Her Secret Service detail flanked her from the front and the back.

Danny tore out of the cab almost forgetting to pay the cab driver. He had to run back and hand the driver a few bills.

He ran to her with heavy breaths. "Whoa, whoa." He ran up to her, meeting her at the bottom of the step. "Don't go. I'm here."

"Danny, you're out of breath."

"I ran here." He lowered his head and put his hands on her knees.

"Where's your car?"

"I took a cab." He raised up and took a huge breath.

"You ran and took a cab?" She half smiled.

"I ran half way and then I..." He took a breath. "I took a cab the rest..." He lowered his head. "Just give me a..." He took a heavy breath and then lifted his head in a large stream of breath. "There. All ready". He took her hand and started up the steps.

C.J. didn't follow. "It's late. I should go." She looked as disappointed as she was that afternoon.

"No, no." Danny smiled it off and placed his hands on either side of her arms. "We can do this."

"We lost the window."

"No, no. There's still a window." He smiled evilly and spoke, "I can find it. I'm sure I can." Danny ushered her up the stairs. "We still have time. We can do it fast."

"Fast?" She said with her own arched eyebrow.

Danny turned to her. "Fast, slow. I can bring it, baby." Danny smiled causing C.J. to smile too. Being corney seemed to get to her soul. The smile didn't hurt either.

Danny opened his door for the agent and waited with C.J.

After a moment the agent walked out and Danny gave C.J. a smile. He motioned his hand forward for her to enter.

C.J. walked into Danny's apartment with a grin as big as Cleveland.

Danny closed the door behind him and threw his keys on the table near the door.

C.J. turned to see his huge smiling face.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi." She walked closer to him and that was it.

They kissed each other with the glee of an entire day of separation. They made their way to the bedroom. C.J. walked backwards. Danny took a few breaths, he had that fun look in his eye.

"A little tired?" she joked. She kicked off her shoes.

"I'll be fine," he laughed lightly.

"You're sure?" she quipped.

"Are you making fun of me?" he said walking forward, talking off his jacket, so she would have to continue walking backwards toward the bed.

"No." She took off her jacket.

"You're calling me old, aren't you?"

"I call you old. I call myself old, bub" she said dryly.

"True," he smiled slyly. He kissed her.

He gave her those eyes again. The look he loved to give her, the look that made her go crazy.

She took hold of his tie and pulled him closer to her for a huge kiss. They moved further into the bedroom and onto the bed.

_When all the dark clouds roll away_

_And the sun begins to shine_

_I see my freedom from across the way_

_And it comes right in on time_

_Well it shines so bright and it gives so much light_

_And it comes from the sky above_

_Makes me feel so free makes me feel like me_

_And lights my life with love_

C.J. paused and looked into his eyes, looking up at him with her back on the bed.

Danny took a deep, sincere breath.

_And it seems like and it feels like_

_And it seems like yes it feels like_

_A brand new day, yeah_

_A brand new day_

The small apartment all of a sudden became quiet. No noise or sound could be heard in the kitchen, the living room, or even the doorway of Danny's small door-less bedroom for the mood in the bedroom had changed.

_I was lost and double crossed_

_With my hands behind my back_

_I was longtime hurt and thrown in the dirt_

_Shoved out on the railroad track_

_I've been used, abused and so confused_

_And I had nowhere to run_

_But I stood and looked_

_And my eyes got hooked_

_On that beautiful morning sun_

The kissing had stopped and Danny and C.J. were lying on the bed, up against the bedpost, together, peaceful, and still.

The side of C.J.'s head was set on Danny's shoulder. She was crying softly.

Danny was just looking at her, letting her be.

She looked out into nothing, her eyes filled with tears, yet still silent.

He let her sit in silence.

He held her hand.

Just two lost souls. One more lost than the other. Seeking comfort in each other's arms.

She looked up at him.

Danny set his fingers under C.J.'s chin and brought her eyes to his. They looked at each other for a moment and her tears subsided. He then lightly leaned in and kissed her softly. He lifted up and smiled sweetly at her.

C.J. smiled a little and kissed him back.

_And the sun shines down all on the ground_

_Yeah and the grass is oh so green_

_And my heart is still and I've got the will_

_And I don't really feel so mean_

_Here it comes, here it comes here it comes right now_

_And it comes right in on time_

_Well it eases me and it pleases me_

_And it satisfies my mind_

It was a new day dawning, the past had to be lamented over and then the future had to be looked at with hope. A new President, a new life, a new found happiness, a brand new day. And Leo wouldn't have had it any other way. Life goes on. The new day was at hand.

_And it seems like and it feels like_

_And it seems like yes it feels like_

_A brand new day, yeah_

_A brand new day oh_

**A Brand New Day – Van Morrison**

_

* * *

_

**The End of Chapter 19**


	20. Chapter 20: Transitional Motion

On The Road With Danny Concannon: '05-'06

"_Transitional Motion"_

**Companion Episode**: Transition 7.19

* * *

**Transition**: _1._ Passage from one place or state to another. _2._ Change from one form to another

* * *

_She's got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down_

_And when I come to her when the sun goes down_

_Take away my trouble, take away my grief_

_Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief_

-**Crazy Love** Van Morrison

* * *

Week One

* * *

**Saturday night**, it was the couch where it all started. Half dressed, half undressed, the candle light hit their bodies, causing shadows to linger.

This was followed in the early morning by the bedroom -- the floor and then the bed. There was lost time to make up for, things to do before sneaking back into her apartment in the early dawn.

**Sunday** it was the kitchen, the bedroom, the living room and then the shower.

**Monday **morning, early, it was the shower again. The bedroom that night and the next. Late. Very, late.

So late Danny wasn't even sure if she would come over at all, but she came.

She even told herself she wouldn't. But, after the last of the day's events had abated for the night, she was told nothing more could be done and to go home and get some sleep.

She told the staff to go home and get some sleep, the Joint Chiefs, even the President, but C.J. didn't take her own advice.

On** Tuesday** it was the floor, next to the bed.

It all seemed so climatic and romantic, but in the details it was all real.

On **Saturday night,** on their way to couch C.J.'s arm got caught, taking her jacket off and she tripped onto the couch–she tried to retain her footing but took down Danny with her. Finally, when she got her arm out of her jacket, she accidently elbowed Danny in the eye, luckily leaving no marks.

On **Sunday,** a plastic bowl fell off the counter top and hit Danny in the back of the head before falling to the ground. They both laughed. They laughed again five minutes later when the bowl was followed by a banana and some grapes.

On** Monday**, in the hallway, while maneuvering around, C.J.'s head hit against a small shelf next to the door. The shelf came tumbling down, almost hitting them, and that was the end of the shelf.

**Tuesday** they ended up on the floor because they fell off the bed.

By **Wednesday, **C.J. could be seen rubbing her shoulder in the situation room. She caught Kate's eyes on her and she tried not to be paranoid.

It was starting to creep in on her. The idea of getting caught. The fear was now a part of her life. See, it wasn't all that romantic. She couldn't keep it up much longer. But, C.J. was private and she needed time to find out what she and Danny had -- by herself, without prying eyes.

But, first she had to find a way to have the guts to admit it all to Donna.

* * *

Late Wednesday Night

* * *

C.J. tried her best not to wake Donna, but still felt quite stupid sneaking into her own apartment as she closed the door and walked in slowly. Her secret service detail was outside the front door, and C.J. thanked god she had convinced them to set up sleep shifts in the basement instead of in her guest room. Of course, come to think of it, if C.J. had let them sleep in her extra room, she wouldn't be in this situation. Damn.

C.J. closed the door behind her and slowly placed her keys back in her purse when she heard a sound. She looked up to see Donna, just as guilty-looking as C.J., standing in front of her.

"I was going out for milk–" Donna stammered. "We need milk." What an awkward sentence. Her face gave it away.

"I got called from the...the—"

"The White House?"

"Yeah..." C.J. stammered. She lowered her head. "I had to–" She lifted her head and looked into Donna's eyes. "For a walk – I was going for a walk — I mean— after I got caught–I mean paged and I..." She took a breath and became her true self. "Oh, hell." She leaned on her left side, put her hand on her hip, and looked Donna in the eye. This caused C.J.'s bag to shift off her arm as she lifted her head. "I'm sleeping with Danny."

"I'm sleeping with Josh?" Donna said it like a question as if to say, "Really, because..."

"You're sleeping with _Josh_?" C.J.'s voice went up on the word Josh. She didn't seem that surprised, just shocked it finally happened.

"You're sleeping with Danny?"

"You can't tell anyone!" they both shouted together.

"I won't." Donna seemed offended. She looked at C.J. for an answer.

"Of course not."

There was a large pause.

"So, you and Danny—" Donna smiled and sauntered toward C.J.

"So, you and Josh." C.J. said with a forcefulness she knew would stop Donna cold in her tracks.

"Yeah, I'm gonna get going..." Donna walked past C.J. and exited through her front door.

* * *

Danny's Apartment

* * *

Danny heard a noise in the night, waking him from his sleep. He moved, making the sheets rustle.

"Who's there?" he said in his groggy sleep.

"It's C.J.," she said softly.

Danny spoke into his pillow. "Why are you whispering?"

"I don't..." She stopped herself from her whisper. "What do you mean, who is it?"

"Could be anyone," he quipped in his Michigan rasp.

She couldn't see his face, but she knew he was grinning.

C.J. grinned back while she took her left earring out, shifting her head. "One of the many _throngs_ of woman crawling into your bed at night?" She placed her earring in her left hand and then on the bed side table.

Soon Danny felt C.J. pulling back the sheets and climbing into the bed. "What happened?"

"Donna's sleeping with Josh," C.J. said in her own groggy voice, as if it wasn't huge news.

"What?" Danny grumbled. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her shoulder. They nestled into each other.

"Donna's sleeping with Josh." She closed her eyes exhausted. "She's been sneaking out..."

She yawned. "... every night like me."

And Danny just started to giggle. He tried to hold it in at first and so it came out as spurts, but soon he couldn't help it and a huge laugh came over him

This caused C.J. to start her world famous smile. Her smile turned into a giggle which in turn turned into her famous laugh.

Danny buried his head in C.J's neck.

Their laughter finally died down.

Danny ran his hand over her stomach and she let out a stir. C.J. lengthened her neck and Danny shifted, causing C.J. to fall on her back, her long slender arms tangling around Danny's neck.

"Hi," he said inches from her face. He looked her over before taking her eyes again.

His breathless rasp sent shivers down her spin.

"Hi," she said with a huge grin before their lips met.

There she was, C.J. again in his bed, and there she would still be in the morning.

* * *

The Morning...

* * *

Danny felt C.J.'s head on his chest, her hair on his shoulder. There she was, her body wrapped around his, and his arm around her back. It felt so right, waking up with C.J. in his arms.

He opened his eyes to see C.J. had opened her eyes just the same. They looked at each other and grinned.

C.J. slid her fingers through Danny's chest hair.

Danny kissed her and she kissed him back, soon they found their hands exploring other parts of each other's body.

C.J.'s skin felt so smooth beneath his hands, Danny's fingers so supple against her breasts, and the fibers of his beard perfect against her neck.

They tossed and turned among the sheets. The sound rustling bed linens, and sounds of their contented voices filled the air.

Danny reached for his bedside drawer just as C.J.'s hand lifted out of it. And somehow she ended up on top of him, the sheets lingering under the small of her back.

And they coasted together like waves, C.J. outstretched her torso, while Danny made her weak in the knees. They were loud and lurid and passionate.

Danny still couldn't believe the picture in front of him, even after a week of being with her, while C.J. couldn't get a thought past the feelings Danny was causing her to feel.

Inside and out. Mind and body. And just as it was about to get to its heights, after an hour of it, after it seemed like the two couldn't take anymore, simultaneously, a sound ran through the room: the sound of C.J.'s beeper.

C.J. collapsed onto Danny's chest. She caught her breath and he ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Good morning," Danny said in an out of breath glee.

C.J. let out a large breath. "Good Morning."

Slowly they both got up and dressed, flowing in tandem around the room like an old married couple. C.J. had brought a change of clothes.

Danny loved buttoning his shirt while watching C.J. sit on the edge of his bed, her long legs crossed, as she fixed her shoes to her feet. He could only smile and laugh to himself. He felt like a school kid.

C.J. looked over to him and smiled. Her eyes twinkled. The old C.J. was back.

* * *

8:30 AM

* * *

Danny walked out of his apartment, dressed for the day, his laptop bag over his shoulder. He started to lock his apartment door.

"Hey, Mrs. Rosenberg," Danny said as he removed the key from the key hole. He smiled at the older woman.

"Danny..." She looked at him strangely. "There have been strange men lingering outside your door..."

"In black suits, yeah..." He nodded his head.

"At all hours of the night..."

"With earpieces in their ears..." He grinned. "Secret service."

"I'm sorry?"

"They were Secret Service...nothing to worry about, really."

"This is a respectable building, Danny."

"I know, Mrs. Rosenberg. I've lived here for about fifteen years, now– I know—" he laughed

"If you're into _something_–"

"No, no. I'm not," he chuckled lightly while at the same time giving huge protest. There was an awkward silence. "They're not here for me...I mean..."

"I see..." She looked at him with an odd eye.

"They _belong_... to a friend of mine."

"Belong?"

"Ahhh..." He paused and looked away. "A_ lady_...friend of mine..." He laughed and looked away. It was all so difficult to explain this while at the same time being a gentleman.

"I see."

"Sorry..." He really meant it as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, you've been warned..." She walked away down the hall.

Danny smirked in the direction of Mrs. Rosenberg exit for a moment. He shook his head and started down the hallway toward the rest of his day.

* * *

The Next Week

* * *

On **Monday** it was the front hallway. She acted polite in the doorway for the secret service when Danny opened the door. But then she looked up into his eyes, his deep blue eyes, and she was caught.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," he said back to her with deep love in his eyes.

C.J. walked in and Danny closed the door behind him. Her lips kissed every inch of his lips while his hands ran over every inch of her body.

It was so fast Danny felt like he was playing catch up. Hotter and faster than the night before, the reminiscence of the night past and the anxiousness of the night ahead fueled them. No time to wait; no time to stifle the sounds coming from their mouths. He made his way to her neck as they rolled off the walls.

Her hands on his face, his hands pulling down her jacket around her shoulders, her unbuttoning her shirt as fast as she could before getting distracted. His hand taking hold of her thigh, wrapping around the smooth skin, causing her skirt to hike up as he took her leg up and around his hip.

**Tuesday,** it was the kitchen again, and that was the last time they would do it in a kitchen for a long time. It wouldn't be until they were together in California, married, and secure in their life together.

* * *

Earlier that evening . . .

* * *

A hard day at the office was only a relief when it could end with a soft voice on the other end of the line.

"Can I come over?"

"Yes," he answered in his soft rasp. The same yes he used to tell her he liked her dress. The same yes he used when he knew he couldn't tell her anything but the god's honest truth. This was the only time she actually called. After that she just showed up, just like all the other times.

It started off as a nice glass of wine, stresses of the day to be discussed, feelings, not details, unclassified, not classified, perhaps a cup of coffee. It ended much differently – with something she and Danny never thought, at their age in life, they would be doing on a parquet floor -- something they couldn't believe they had done until it was over

And this was only week two.

* * *

The White House

* * *

Margaret caught Carol's attention in the hallway.

"Hey."

"Hey." Carol smiled back.

"You know C.J. pretty well."

"Yeah."

"Have you seen anything strange about her behavior?"

"Strange?"

"I don't know – suspect." They turned a corner. "She's been nice and pleasant---"

"Sounds like C.J. to me," Carol said with a question mark.

"In all of the time I've known her – I mean as an assistant. Which, as you know, is the best way of knowing someone--- she's only laughed at one of my jokes."

"Well, C.J. always laughed when I worked for her. A lot really." They turned another corner.

"Maybe your jokes aren't that funny?" Carol smirked.

"I really don't think so."

Carol turned into the lobby.

"They were really funny jokes." Margaret called after Carol as she sped up ahead of her.

Finally the two reached Margaret's office.

But before the two women could continue their conversation, a dazed looking C.J. walked between them toward her office. Carol and Margaret followed C.J. with their eyes as she passed. They could see her demeanor was odd.

Margaret decided to speak. "Ahh, C.J., Josh called and he wants to change his appointment with you to—" Margaret called after her.

"Yeah, sure...whatever." C.J. waved Margaret off with her slender hands, her voice was dreamy. "I have to go feed my fish." She laughed softly and closed the door behind her.

"Hello, Gail," C.J. said with the hugest smile on her face. C.J. leaned her head backwards against the door and smiled.

Outside of C.J.'s office, Carol and Margaret just stared at C.J.'s closed door. They were both perplexed.

"Yeah, something's up." Margaret had a serious face.

Carol's face turned to a smile. She finally got it. "I think..." She smiled even larger. " C.J.'s got a man," she said with enthusiasm.

And Carol planned on finding out who it was.

* * *

That Night...

* * *

The agent was about to knock on the door when C.J. asked him to wait.

C.J. took a small bottle out of her purse and sprayed herself. She then retrieved a small lip gloss from her bag. She dunked the wand and glossed her lips. She dropped the gloss in her bag.

C.J. looked at the agent feeling, very stupid and embarrassed, even shy. She set her hair behind her ears. "You can knock now."

The agent in front of C.J. knocked on Danny's door.

Danny answered the door.

"Good evening, sir," the agent said nicely.

Danny stepped aside and let the agent in. This was old hat by now.

C.J. took a large breath and gave Danny a huge smile. It had been a long day and she had been waiting for this.

The agent came out and thanked Danny.

"Thank you." Danny stepped aside again and C.J. walked in.

Danny closed the door and smiled. He turned to C.J.

She kissed him hard and lifted up with a sigh.

"You wanna beer?"

"Yes..." she said with a haze in her voice.

"Okay..." he laughed.

She kissed him again.

"What is that?" He smelled something.

"What?"

"Do you smell different? What is that?" He took in a breath. " Obsession?"

"Yeah." She dropped her bag on the table next to the door.

"Ohh.." He walked toward the kitchen.

"Do you not like it?" She took off her coat and threw it on the couch.

"No, it's just different." He walked to the refrigerator.

"Oh..." She sounded like a little girl. She walked closer to the kitchen counter.

Danny returned from the refrigerator with a Corona.

"I was just–"

Danny handed C.J. her beer. "Gettin' gussied up," he smiled from the other side of the counter and took a drink of his newly opened bottle of beer, his second of the night, which had been sitting on the counter top already.

"Not my choice of words, but yeah..." C.J. smiled standing across the counter from Danny.

"I saw the lip gloss." He gestured with his drink. "Well, more like I tasted it," he smirked.

C.J. opened her drink with a bottle opener that had been lying on the counter.

"See, you don't need all that." He gestured with his drink. "I don't get women sometimes–they put on too much makeup, not you...a ton of perfume, when..." He gestured with his drink and lifted his shoulders. "When all we want is you..." he looked around. "You need a bottle opener?"

"I got it," she said, mesmerized by his words. She lifted her drink to show it was opened.

"Great," he said, seeing she was set and he wasn't going senile.

C.J. took a drink.

"I like the way you smell naturally, you don't need that. It's nice, but you don't need it."

"Odds are what you think is natural—"

"Well, I like it. Maybe I just like the smell of your shampoo..." He leaned his arms on the counter and leaned toward her. "I like the smells that _permeate_ into your skin all day–that _embed_ themselves in your fibers. Like the soap you use or the moisturizer which I'd guess has some kind of aloe in it." He smiled and looked her over. "It gives me some kind of _Pavlovian_ responsewhen you're near." He took a drink.

C.J. just looked at him. She smirked, "You're good."

"Naw, I'm not that good. " He smirked back at her "It took me seven years to get it all to work." He took a quick drink.

"You memorized the way I smell." She leaned in closer to his face.

"I have a lot of time to think sometimes..." he trailed off.

C.J. just looked at him with doe eyes.

"You tired?"

"Nooo..." She shook her head slowly.

"You wanna go to bed?"

"Yeah..." C.J. nodded her head slowly.

"Okay..." he laughed.

* * *

The Next Morning

The Home of Danny Concannon

* * *

C.J. sat on the edge of Danny's bed, her back to the bathroom, she leaned her head to the side and put in her right earring. The sound of water could be heard running in the bathroom.

"Josh offered me a job yesterday," she yelled to Danny, breaking the silence.

"With Santos?" he yelled back to her from the bathroom. The water was heard shutting off.

C.J. leaned her head to the left and put in her left earring.

"Well, I don't think he's all of a sudden become a recruiter for I- Hop."

"Well..." Danny leaned against the door frame of the bathroom and looked at her, a small towel in his hands. "It ain't called the International House of Pancakes for nothin'."

"Hummmm." C.J. smiled with a twinkle in his eye.

Danny walked into the room a step. "You know, lately, when you laugh at my jokes like that, I start to think you don't think I'm funny anymore." He ran the towel along his fingers and palms. "C.J.?" He noticed she had drifted off.

"Yeah?" C.J. placed her right earring in her right ear.

"I lost ya there for a moment."

"I'm here," she said softly. Her demeanor was different now. More of a melancholy. Danny wasn't so use to that. He had seen a sliver of it on that Wednesday night, but she seemed to be happier lately, more like the C.J. he knew. Still, these moments of distraction Danny was just going to have to get used to at least until he could figure out how to take her out of it. Already he was doing a pretty good job, but they had more ground to travel.

There was an awkward pause.

Danny looked around. He took another pause before speaking, as if thinking she would speak up first. "Are...we having this talk now" He tried to get her back on track to what she was telling him about Josh and the job offer.

There was another awkward pause.

"No." C.J. looked out, her back still to Danny." "No." she looked down. "I'm not ready for that yet."

Danny nodded his head and went back into the bathroom.

C.J. sat in silence for a moment before taking her watch from the bedside table and placing it on her wrist.

Danny came out of the bathroom and moved past the foot of the bed.

"I'm gonna see if I can find something in the kitchen for us to eat, okay?"

"Danny?" She turned her head and Danny stopped as he reached her.

"Yeah."

C.J. took his hand and that made Danny sit down, on the bed, next to her. He seemed concerned for her.

"You do know–you know even if Leo... if Leo hadn't—"

"C.J.–"

"I would have still come..."

"I know."

"Maybe not that night, but I would have."

"I know." He took his other hand and set in on top of the hand that was already attached to hers.

"I know you're anxious to get on with the future, but I'm just not ready to let go of my present just yet."

He leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"After the inauguration, I'll be ready, I promise."

"I know," he assured her. "I just wanted to be sure I didn't fall down a trap door into some conversation..." he chuckled.

"After the inauguration, " she stressed. She was very serious.

"I know." He nodded his head. He took in a breath from his nose. "When you're ready, we'll talk." He smiled. "You hungry?"

"Yeah."

"You want a cup of coffee?" Danny looked into her eyes.

She nodded her head.

"I'll be right with you." He started to stroke her hair.

"Okay." She kissed him.

He smiled and took a moment to look into her eyes again before getting up from the bed.

C.J. held onto his hand as long as she could, until he drifted from her grip.

C.J. kicked off her shoes and leaned back onto the bed, on her side, and closed her eyes. She had woken up so happy and revitalized, and all of sudden the world, her future, and the job offer turned her mood sour. For the first time, in a long time, C.J. couldn't see the forest for the trees. It was all a blur. What would be the next chapter of her life? She had no idea. Transition was always hard.

* * *

**THE END OF CHAPTER 20**


	21. Chapter 21: Last Holiday

**On The Road With Danny Concannon**: '05-'06

"_Last Holiday"_

**Companion Episode**: "The Last Hurrah"

Notes: Welcome to the season seven "christmas episode" -- please feedback. Thank you.

* * *

_How lucky can one guy be;  
I kissed her and she kissed me  
Like the fella once said,  
Ain't that a kick in the head?..._

_Like the sailor said, quote,  
"Ain't that a hole in the boat?"  
My head keeps spinning;  
I go to sleep and keep grinning;  
If this is just the beginning,  
My life's gonna be beautiful._

–**Ain't that a kick in the head Dean Martin

* * *

**

Two Days before Christmas

2005

* * *

Danny Concannon walked down the hallway of the White House with pride and excitement. His first Christmas with C.J. and her last one in the White house. It was a grand holiday for all. Christmas in the White House was always a special thing. He remember his and C.J.'s first Christmas together, in the White House, good and bad, and his last fifteen years of Christmas in the hallowed halls, the good and the bad. 

Danny still wore his jacket, as he walked toward C.J.'s office, his hands in his pockets. He smiled as he past the people and the holiday decorations. He hummed a Dean Martin song to himself in all his enjoyment. He felt good.

Danny turned a corner into Margaret's office, which was empty and he walked right into C.J.'s office.

"Hey." C.J. looked surprised to see him.

"Hey." He smiled. He didn't even look like he was going to kiss her, but C.J. moved past him fast.

"Not at the office, okay."

"What? People know."

Margaret entered. "I know."

"Margaret knows," he smiled.

C.J. got a little quiet. "I know that. I'm just a very private person."

Margaret handed C.J. a folder.

"Especially here, " she said in a hushed tone.

Margaret walked out of the room.

"Considering the situation."

"No problem." Danny smiled.

"Were you in the building for something?" She did her uneasy smile.

"Yeah... but I really came by to give you one last shot."

"Danny..."

"One last chance to spend Christmas with me. I'm really easy to take care of. I clean up after myself."

She gave him a sly smile.

"Before I make my final plans. Before I fly off into the sunset."

"You'll be back next _week_," she smirked and walked around the front of her desk.

"Or not." Danny followed her. "We really don't know that..." he smirked. "One last chance to claim me." He raised his eyebrows at her and stopped in his tracks.

C.J. faced him. "Danny, I don't know if I'll even be free until _that _night."

"I have no problem with that." He walked closer to her.

"It doesn't seem fair to keep you away from your family—"

"I have no problem with that either—" He gave her those sexy eyes.

"Danny, I won't know if I'm even free until a few hours before the night ends and then I could get called away — you should be with your family..."

"I wanna spend it with you." He was now standing in front of her and her desk.

"No, really... thank you. Really. But, it's not fair to you, I really think so."

"What about you?"

"Well, usually I spend it with my brother, but since Hogan's at school he meets her halfway in Dayton." She smiled. "So, I guess that makes me the poor little match girl, this Christmas," she said sarcastically.

"And here I am in need of matches." He sauntered a few inches closer to her and raised his eye brows. Their faces were inches from each other.

"I'll be fine. It's not fair to keep you."

"You sure?" he tilted his head at her.

"Yes," she smiled. "I'm sure."

"Well, you still have until tomorrow night to change your mind," he nodded his head. He looked very disappointed.

"I won't," she smiled sweetly. "But, thank you–you're sweet."

"I was_ also_ hoping to give you your Christmas present– since we really don't know_ when _I'll see you next---" he insinuated toward their months of mis-adventures. "Although dating a super hero does have its added benefits..."

"You got me a gift?"

"Yeah.."

"Oh, Danny—I didn't know we were—I mean I figured we wouldn't be..." She felt so terrible. "I didn't get you anything."

"I don't need anything, " he said very sweetly and honest.

"I still feel bad–I didn't think we were—"

"Don't.--Don't feel bad. I like the gifts that can't be wrapped anyway." He handed her a small box.

She grinned and took the gift. "It's not another goldfish, is it?"

"No, I think three goldfish-themed gifts is my limit." He smiled. "No more goldfish related gifts I promise." He waited for her to open it with a sweet warm face. "Well, open it."

"Oh. Sorry..." She opened the box and pulled out its contents: a large square locket in sliver with a mother of pearl face. "Danny, it's beautiful."

"Open it," he said with the sense of pride.

C.J. went to put down the box and Danny helped her with it by placing the box on her desk for her while she opened the locket. She was more than touched at what she found.

"I found the picture of your mother in your wallet–I hope you don't mind."

"No, no. I don't." She was very taken back by the entire gesture.

"I'm sorry..." Kate walked in from the side exit holding a folder.

C.J.'s eyes shot open and she looked toward Kate with her mouth semi-open.

"I'm interrupting something. I can go." Kate backed away.

"No. No. Come in." C.J. insisted. She closed the locket.

"Hello..." Kate smiled at Danny.

"Hi. " Danny smiled back waiting to be introduced.

C.J. realized the pause had to be filled. "Oh, sorry. Kate Harper-- Deputy NSA. Danny Concannon."

Danny and Kate smiled and nodded their heads.

"I've heard so much about you." Kate smiled.

Danny laughed. He didn't get it.

Kate gave C.J. a look and a smile.

C.J. gave her a look to stop.

"I can go, really, it's not important, really..." Kate made her way out of the office.

Danny looked back at C.J.

Over Danny's shoulder Kate mouthed, "Nice work."

C.J. waved her off.

Danny turned his head toward the side exit, but Kate was gone. Danny looked back and grinned at C.J. in a fun, suspicious way.

C.J. started to open her mouth to speak again, the necklace still in her hand, when the door to the Oval opened.

Bartlet walked in holding his reading glasses and a briefing book.

Danny and C.J. turned toward the President. C.J. looked like she'd been caught at something.

"Danny." Jed was surprised to see him.

"Mr. President." Danny smiled.

"Danny, nice to see you." Bartlet had that look of happy nostalgia on his face.

"You too, Sir."

"I never got to thank you for that wonderful article you wrote on Leo last month."

"Well, it was heartfelt, sir."

"That's a lovely piece of jewelry, there." He motioned to the necklace still in C.J.'s hand. He smiled at Danny.

"Danny, was just–—" C.J. felt awkward.

"I was just leaving." Danny motioned toward the door.

C.J. placed the necklace back in it's box.

"Please, don't leave on my account. We don't get many_ happy_ visitors around here," Jed laughed.

"No, I was really just leaving." He tipped his head. "Mr. President. Nice to see you."

"Danny." Bartlet smiled and Danny was gone.

Bartlet watched where Danny had exited. He turned to C.J. "C.J., Danny doesn't have to leave on my account..."

"I wasn't, sir..."

"You're both adults."

"I just...I don't feel —" She placed the box in her purse.

"It's right for the office?" He finished her sentence.

She looked at him. "No, sir. I don't."

"You know if it were any other reporter I might put the nix on it..." He smiled slyly showing her he was kidding.. "But Danny's a good guy." He motioned with his briefing book. "It's nice to have a familiar face around here, around Christmas. Makes me think just maybe it could be the way it used to be."

C.J. smiled bittersweetly.

"I'm trying to figure out, for myself, if it doesn't feel like the Christmas of old because it's our last one here or because..." he trailed off and there was a silence.

"Yes, sir." C.J. understood.

"It just seems so quiet." He paused. "Well, anyway..." he trailed off. "I was just looking for that depletion report. I can't find it."

"I have it, sir." C.J. took a folder and walked over to the President.

"What are you doing for Christmas, Claudia Jean? You spending it with, Danny?" he asked in a melancholy way.

"He's going to his sister's." She handed the President the folder.

Bartlet smiled and took the report. "How about you? What are you doing?"

"I'll probably be here, sir."

"You should come to Manchester with us," he asked with a smile and a wave of his hand.

"I can't, sir." She was firm with a slight smile.

"No, really. We'd love it. Ellie's coming up with Vic—"

"I can't, sir," she stressed.

"Ahh, yeah..." he nodded his head. Bartlet got it. "Doesn't seem fair I get to jet off to the big city while the field mice stay here and tend to the farm."

"All part of the job, sir."

"Yeah..." he laughed. "Not what you bargained for when you signed up for this ride, is it, kid?"

"All part of a day's work, sir." She gave him a sly smile.

"You call your family on Christmas. Tell them you're okay." He felt guilty for taking her away from her family. But a country at war was a country at war.

"I will, sir." She smiled.

Bartlet walked toward his office..

C.J. went back to her desk and started to do work.

Jed turned at the door to his office. "C.J., how is your father doing?" Bartlet asked with pure concern.

C.J. smiled one of her fake smiles from behind her desk. "Just fine, sir."

"Ahh...yeah..." He smiled a little and nodded his head. If C.J. didn't want to talk about it, Bartlet would oblige her. He would play into the game."Send him my regards."

"I will, sir."

Bartlet lowered his head and walked back into his office. He had that feeling he felt when the last of his children had moved out of the house.

C.J. went back to her work.

Margaret walked in and handed C.J. some papers. "You're just letting him go aren't you?"

"I"m sorry?" C.J. looked up to see Margaret standing in front of her.

"I'm not really the kind of secretary who puts her nose into her boss's personal life--- maybe so many years working for Leo, all business all the time, you know, but I'm very old school that way."

"That's good to know..." C.J. flipped a page and kept reading.

"I'm not like Carol, in that way– I mean. I know she's very into _living vicariously_ through other people– a lot of woman are." She leaned in a little and pointed to herself for a moment. "I on the other hand am pretty happy with my own life, I don't need to live, you know, through someone else. I just don't. I'm very content." She nodded her head.

"Well..." C.J.looked up at Margaret and smiled awkwardly. "That's great." C.J. went back at her papers.

"But..."

C.J. looked up with an irrated face.

"I think you're making a mistake."

"I'm sorry?" she stressed as if to say this is none of your business.

"He's asking you to tell him _not_ to go, you do get that do you? He actually _doesn't_ want to go. You're not very good at knowing the signs."

"Do you see that I'm actually doing work here, that I have things to do. I don't have time to have this very odd conservation directly out of Beverly Hills 902..." She gestured with her hand looking for the number.

"One O." Margaret finished her sentence

C.J. gave her a bad look..

"It's just one day."

C.J. took a large breath and went back to her briefing book.

"Odds are World War Three isn't just gonna start on—"

"He has a family to go to, " C.J. snapped at Margaret. "If I didn't have to work here, I'd have a family to go to...I mean I'd _go_ to my family... I really don't think it's _very fair _of me to ask the man I'm with to waitby the phone for me, on the off chance I might have a couple of hours to spend with him, and have him miss spending Christmas with his _own_ family. I'm not that kind of girl." She tried to go back to her work.

"Yeah, cause nothing says Christmas fun like being the single unmarried uncle watching his nieces and nephews opening presents on Christmas Eve with their family while _your own_ loved one is miles away in a whole _other state_. Yeah, that never to seems to bring my spirts up."

She looked up. "Are we done, here?"

"Ahh, yeah... and you have Miles Hutchinson on line one."

"All this time!" She sent her hands up with her disgust.

"I forgot."

"_Margaret!_" she sighed and went for the phone.

Margaret left the office.

C.J. picked up the phone. "He's not there!" she yelled to Margaret.

"I'll see if I can find him again."

"Yes, do that." She looked exasperated.

Her phone light went on. C.J. hit the line. "Danny's on line one." Margaret's voice came over the line.

C.J. hit the speaker phone. "You're on speaker phone."

"Thanks for the heads-up." Danny's raspy voice was heard through the speaker.

"I can't talk long, I'm waiting for a phone call. What's up?" She looked through some of her papers.

"Listen, I just wanted to let you know I got myself a flight out at eight tonight."

"Okay.." She paused. "That's great."

"Maisy got me a deal if I fly out tonight." He paused. "I just wanted you to know since I won't be home tonight if you were planning on..."

"Duly noted." She took a folder and set it on top of another folder.

"Merry Christmas, C.J."

"Same to you, Danny." She smiled. She looked at the phone for a moment. She picked up the phone. "I'll see you when you get back."

But, he wasn't there. C.J. took a breath. She hung up the phone and looked at it strange.

Margaret walked in. "I couldn't get him back?"

"Danny?"

"Miles Hutchinson."

"Oh, just keep trying..." C.J. looked like she was off somewhere, but after a moment she came back. "Is Will in his office?"

"Yeah."

C.J. stood up and walked toward her side door.

"I thought we were used to the people comingto you now. You don't go to them, remember."

"I need to stretch my legs." She smiled and she was out the door.

C.J. walked into the communication's office to find it empty except for the Christmas decorations. She saw Kate and Will in his office and then her mouth figuratively dropped open. They kissed. And not just a peck.

C.J. lowered her head and looked away. She smiled and looked back."Will Bailey," she said to herself with a gleeful smile.

They noticed C.J.

C.J. waved and grinned.

"Hi..." Kate awkwardly walked out of Will's office. "We can explain."

Will came up behind her. "We didn't think anyone was here."

"Elaboration not needed," C.J. assured them.

"There was mistletoe. Things ensued..." Will was getting away from himself.

Kate gave him an awful look.

"Sorry, I was kidding." He looked at the woman.

"It's fine really." C.J. didn't seem to care. "Just don't let it happen around the office...again." She felt weird saying it, but she had to.

"Of course. We never do." Kate looked down and played with her nails. She felt ridiculous.

"This from a woman _finally_ dating Danny Concannon." Will remarked. He never learned.

C.J. gave him a cross look.

"And when I say that, I mean _how_ happy we all here in the press club-house are for you two little rascals." He had a trace of sarcasm in his voice.

"Don't push it, Bailey."

"Did you need to see me?" Will asked.

"The Pops?" C.J. asked.

"Boston? As in the Boston Pops?"

"Yes..."

"They have been replaced by the St. Louis Pops. All is well." He really was very giddy.

"There's a St. Louis Pops?"

"Everyone has a Pops? Well, I guess maybe not Newark."

"The Newark Pops, I like the sound of that..." Kate joked.

"Well, thanks..." He looked at her with a smile.

C.J. cleared her throat.

Will went on with his work. "Sorry.. .so the St. Louis Pops will be performing, I crossed the T's, I put all the lumps of coal in the stocking of everyone at theStateDepartment and made sure none of the ornaments on the Christmas tree were made by hand by little slave children in a small fishing nation. I am done. I have saved Christmas. I can call it a night." His fun and sarcasm was not lost on the group.

"You too..?" she insinuated.

They looked at each other.

"Ahhh..." Will laughed.

Kate smiled, "I guess we are. We're something."

"Well, I'm touched. She called me her something for the first time." Will smiled.

"That's all great, but I have enough to deal without finding out the status of your relationship. No offense."

"None taken," Kate remarked.

"Same here." Will smiled. "I'd hope you had more important things to..." Will's phone rang. "Excuse me. Duty calls for the savior of Christmas." He ran back into his office.

"What were you asking?"

"What are your plans tomorrow? I'll probably be here anyway, we could get a bottle of wine. I once cooked a turkey, I could try again."

"I'm kinda spending it with Will."

"Will doesn't have a family to go to?"

"You assumed I didn't?" she was offended.

"No, no. I just figured you and I would be on call, we had to be here. Will doesn't have anything to do. Unless there's a choral emergency with the Harlem Boys Choir."

"You have a weird disdain for what used to be your job."

"Love and hate go hand and hand, baby."

"No, he's staying here. We decided to spend it together."

"You're not afraid you could get called in out of the deep blue sea and leave him stranded?"

"He knows the drill. If it's okay with him, it's okay with me."

"Yeah..." C.J. was off somewhere. She folded her arms. She motioned with her head for Kate to come closer.

Kate came closer. "Yeah?"

"When you had someone back home, and you couldn't be with them, around this time, and you had to spend the holiday alone with your_ happy _family members while they revelled in their own family togetherness it kinda..."

"sucked."

"Big time, right?"

"Yeah..."

"That's what I thought..." She paused for a moment. She looked like she had something going on in her head. "Excuse me."

C.J. walked to her office. She walked in almost holding herself. She started to pace back and forth in the office. She took a breath.

"No, no..." She threw it off and went to her desk.

Margaret came in."Miles Hutchinson called back, he said it's not important –he had to leave for his holiday plans, he'll call back Monday."

"Okay..." she trailed off and sat herself down in her chair.

Margaret gave C.J. a funny look and walked out of the office.

C.J. started to pat her finger on the edge of the desk. She did this about five times. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Then she took sight of Gail. She took a deep breath. She kept on looking.

There was a large pause.

"Margaret!" C.J. stood up from her seat with a smile and went for her coat.

Margaret ran in. "You have sixteen minutes, you can still make it – he should be leaving for the airport about now."

C.J. gave her a look.

"I just know these things."

C.J. wrapped her scarf around herself. "Can you make sure..."

"Yes, yes...go, go...I have your beeper..."

C.J. smiled awkwardly. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Fifteen minutes, now." Margaret took C.J.'s bag and handed it to her.

C.J. took the bag and took long strides out of her office.

* * *

Ten minutes later. The Home Of Danny Concannon

* * *

Danny opened the front door of the building. It was cold and he tucked his scarf into his jacket. He set his bag on the ground and looked out for his cab. A cab was not what he saw. 

Instead he saw a black suburban drive up.

Danny knew what that meant.

The car stopped and an agent opened the door for C.J.

"Don't go, wait..." She ran out of the car and toward the stoop. "Don't go." She ran up the steps to face him on the top stoop.

Danny had a huge smile on his face.

"I didn't get the signs. I didn't get it. I get it now..." She reached the top of the stoop. "I want you to stay..."

He smiled.

She kissed him.

He kissed her back. It was a huge passionate kiss. There was nothing like the woman he loved expressing a need or want for him that turned the man on to no end. Her being strong and taking a stand, he liked that. She needed him, he liked that. He liked it all.

They broke apart and he just stared at her, speechless, his right arm around her waist. His head bobbed a little and she smiled, looking into his eyes.

"Danny?" she smiled.

"Yeah..." he said with that look on his face.

"Are we going inside?" she asked.

"Yeah..." his voice was soft and sexy.

"You have to let the agent..." She pointed toward the door.

"Oh..." he laughed, now getting it.

"In..." She finished her sentence.

"Yeah..." he laughed. "Yeah..." He chuckled, feeling embarrassed.

C.J. smiled shyly and laughed on his shoulder.

"Yeah..." he took a breath and opened the front door for the agent.

* * *

New Years Day

2006

2 AM

* * *

_Fly me to the moon_ played on the CD player, Sinatra, old school, C.J.'s favorite. The room was lit by what looked like only about a thousand candles, burned down to more than half their size, a mess of different colored wax. 

The music mixed with the sounds of a couple in a the throws of a celebrated mutual passion. The light reflected against Danny's bare freckled back. After a moment, the song ended and they both led out a breath, a heavy, satisfied breath. Danny kissed her and made his way down her neck and body.

"Happy New Year." C.J.'s voice was head, her entire body covered by Danny's body above her.

"I think we missed New Year's." He kissed her shoulder and rolled over next to her in a state of utter exhaustion.

"Did we?" she said in a total haze. " She smiled her toothy smile.

* * *

New Years Eve

2005

Hours earlier

* * *

C.J., a little tipsy, wearing a giddy smile, dressed in a fabulous red dress, grabbed hold of a champaign bottle off a small table and made her way out of the room at a fast walking pace. Kate saw her take two champaign glasses from the door. 

C.J. walked down the hall toward her office, looking like a little girl on Christmas. She even hummed. She reached her office and walked in.

"You're done?" Margaret poked her head in, dressed in a lovely Margaret-like dress.

"Yesss..." C.J. whipped around. "I am done. You are done. We're_ all_ done. Go home Margaret–or stay here and enjoy the party, I don't care." She set the bottle and the glasses on her desk and grabbed her coat. "The President has gone to sleep and I..." She trailed off. "Will not finish that sentence." She smiled huge as she took hold of the glasses and the bottle. "Oh, damn...can you get my..." She motioned toward her scarf.

Margaret took the scarf and threw it around C.J. It covered C.J.'s face and she motioned with her head for Margaret to move it. Margaret moved the scarf lower and away from her mouth.

C.J. smiled and was out the door.

* * *

The Home Of Danny Concannon

* * *

The agent left the apartment and C.J. burst in, she looked around, but no Danny. He had answered the door and now he seemed to have disappeared. It was a small apartment, he had to be there somewhere. 

She put down the glasses and the bottle, on the table near the door and threw off her coat along with her gloves.

"Danny?" she yelled as she took the glasses and the bottle and walked toward the bedroom.

She found him dressed in a tux, his tie around his neck, standing by the window, looking out, in the moon light. The room was filled with burning candles.

"I brought gifts," she said with glee. She made her way, in her tipsy stupor, over to Danny. "Hey." She kissed him and put the bottle of champaign down on the window sill. She then took a glass in each hand and waved them in Danny's direction.

Danny took them. He didn't take his eyes off her or say a word.

C.J. smiled her toothy smith and grabbed hold of the champaign bottle. "It's already opened..." She poured the one glass. "Which is good since if I tried to open it I'd shoot your eye out." She laughed and poured the other glass. "I swiped it off the table of one of the ambassadors–" she laughed. "Germany, I think." She giggled. She took one of the glasses from Danny's hand. "To..." She looked for something to toast to. She took a heavy breath and tossed her hair from her face. "To a whole new year." She smiled.

"A whole new year," he said softly.

They both drank.

C.J. smiled and took the drink from his hand. She placed the drink, along with her own, on the window sill. "Come on." She took his hand and led him away from the window and in the direction of the bed.

He shook his head. "Wait," he said softly. His eyes were sincere and soft.

C.J. smiled, off center and walked back in front of him.

"What?' she giggled.

"I just..." Danny smoothed his hands over her arms.

She looked at him with a question mark look. "Do you smell like bourbon?" she laughed. "Someone had a little too much fun at the Washington Post party..."

"I didn't go," he said softly.

"What?" She looked around. "Did you do all this?" She noticed all the flickering candles.

"About an hour ago, I didn't know when you were coming..."

"Well, either did I. We talked about this..." She smiled. "But, in about three weeks we won't have to deal with any of this, I promise."

"I know..." He looked into her eyes. Listen...I know you have your heart set on not going to the inaugural balls..."

"Danny..." she sighed sweetly and looked away for a short moment. "I just... I know you want to take me but it's just not anything I want to go to... it's not about you and us. I'm fine with that. Let them think what they want, I don't care. But I really don't wanna go to that thing, not now, not on that day."

"I understand..."

"But, you can take me any place you want after that..." She pulled him toward the bed with a smile and her tug of his hand.

"Wait...not yet..." He stopped her with his soft words.

"Danny?" She looked at him strangely.

"I just don't know when I'm ever gonna get a chance to see you in a dress like this again."

"I think the point is to get me _out_ of the dress." She walked up to him.

"Dance with me?"

"What?"

"I wanna dance with you. Dressed like this. Dance with me?" His voice was raspy and sweet.

"Danny..." She got awkward and shy. She looked away for a moment.

"Just humor me..."

"Dance with you?"

"Yeah..." He took her other hand and pulled her closer.

"Okay." She smiled her shy toothy smile. "I think we need music."

"I got that." He leaned back and hit a small CD player_. Always_ by Frank Sinatra came into the room.

She smiled.

Danny took her in close to him and they danced by the moonlight from the window.

She smiled at first, but soon she took on the serious look that Danny was giving her. They didn't say a thing. They just danced.

After a moment, or two, C.J. took his hand and walked backwards toward the bed.

At the side of the bed, she sat down on the edge.

Danny paused and looked at her.

When he didn't come forward she stood up and took a step toward him with a smile. She turned around. She lifted her hair.

Danny ran his hands over the back of her neck and unzipped her dress. She walked toward the bed. Danny took a breath and followed her. As he always did.

* * *

I'll be lovin' you, always  
With a love that's true, always  
When the things you've planned need a helpin' hand  
I will understand always, always

Days may not be fair, always  
That's when I'll be there, always  
Not for just an hour, not for just a day  
Not for just a year but always

**ALWAYS- –Frank Sinatra

* * *

**

**THE END OF CHAPTER 21**


	22. Chapter 22:The Last Days of Pluralism

**On The Road With Danny Concannon '05-'06**

"_The Last Days of Pluralism"_

**Companion Episodes**: The Last Hurrah 7.20 & Institutional Memory 7.21

Notes: Feedback in all forms is always welcome. It helps a writer. Thank you.

* * *

"That man was so fine he could get any girl into trouble"

–**The Jackal

* * *

**

_JUNE 2008_

A Month before the opening of the Bartlet Library.

Santa Monica, CA

* * *

Danny held his home land line phone against his ear while he typed. "Ahh...yeah..." He jumped from his typing. "I'm still on hold here... No. No. I'm the one calling you, here... Hello," he yelled in his home office as if he was still at the office in DC. 

"Danny, can you take her for a second...?" C.J. revealed herself in the left doorway of Danny's office, inches from Danny himself. She held her daughter on her hip with one hand and held a bottle in the girls mouth with the other. Her shirt was half buttoned and she looked like she was in the middle of getting ready for the day.

"Ahhh, yeah yeah... Hello. Yes, no, I'm holding for the Prime Minister." Danny put his hand up to C.J. "Yes, I understand, but I'm calling long distance here too. Yes, well I was told to call, I just..." He nodded his head.

C.J. waited with heavy breath. She adjusted the girl on her hip.

"I've been holding for an _hour_ here." There was a pause. "Yeah, well, thanks a lot buddy. They hung up on me."

"Danny..." C.J. stressed.

"Sorry..." He got up and took hold of his child with a huge smile. His eyes lit up.

C.J. finished buttoning her blouse and then tucked it into her skirt. "We have our annual reviews today..." She finished tucking in her shirt and then looked at Danny. "How do I look?"

"Just precious." Danny said in a baby voice to their child and not to C.J.

She whistled. "Over here. This one. Right here." She pointed to herself.

Danny looked at C.J. and smiled. "You look great." He kissed C.J. "Both my girls look great."

C.J. smoothed down her shirt and adjusted her jacket. "Do you know that yesterday I was having a lunch meeting, and I _swear_ a carriage just passed us for a _second _and I started lactating."

Danny laughed. The baby fussed and Danny took the bottle from her mouth and set it on his desk.

"Funny for you. Not so funny for me, " she said dryly as she made sure her shirt was tucked into the back of her skirt. "Or the group of four young men trying to get grant money from me."

"I would assume so," he laughed. "She's only been on the bottle for a week now, I'm not surprised."

"The whole point of this was so I could go to the Library opening next month and not be attached at the...well, I'm just not finishing that sentence..." She poked her daughter in the stomach lovingly. "To this one."

Danny laughed. "You'll be fine. She'll be fine."

"I think god or fate or what ever is telling me not to go." She adjusted the collar of her jacket.

"We're going." He looked at her with that look of confidence and knowledge. "You wanna go." He reminded her.

"I so do," her voice droned off. She nodded her head and smiled half-heartedly.

Danny smiled.

"Walk me to the door." She kissed him.

"Okay..." He smiled.

Danny and the baby walked C.J. to the door.

In the doorway, she kissed her child on the head and kissed Danny. "Sarah's not coming until eleven today."

"I think we can find something to do until then." He played with his daughter's hand.

The baby giggled.

C.J.'s eyes lit up.

Danny laughed in his daughter's direction.

"Call me if she does anything, you know, cute, or otherwise...

"I promise to call when she starts naming all the states in alphabetical order." His mouth opened with a huge humoring smile.

"And remember her doctor's appointment is tomorrow. I'm meeting you there on my lunch."

"Check."

"Bye." She kissed Danny and the baby, grabbed her bag by the door, and she was gone.

* * *

A Year before

2007

_Early July

* * *

_

Danny walked down the two steps into his living room.

C.J. was laying on the couch.

"Hi." C.J. looked up from her book, her reading glasses still on her head.

"Whatya reading?"

"_Pregnancy for Dummies_, if you can believe it." She showed the cover.

Danny laughed.

"They make one of these books for everything..." She went back to reading.

Danny sat down with a grunt next to his wife.

"You still have the morning sickness, today?"

"Well, that's the beauty of morning sickness-- it doesn't always just come in the morning any more." She grinned sarcastically before going back to her book.

Danny grinned. He loving let his hand slide over her leg.

She huffed and set the book on her lap.

"Let me see this..." He took the book from her. He looked around and saw about five other books around him. "You go a little crazy at the book store?" he laughed.

"This is what I do, Danny." She raised her head and faced him on the couch."This is the only way I know how to do things. I read. I read until my eyes go blurry– it's just like a_ billion _briefing books to me." She leaned back with a sigh. "I need a briefing book on pregnancy..." She threw her glasses on the coffee table with a clang.

Danny laughed

She glanced her eyes toward him. "I really don't know why you find my rants so darn entertaining?"

"I'm tickled, what can I say." He kissed the top of her forehead. "Lie down, I'll read."

C.J. rested her head on the side of the couch and put her feet on Danny's lap. He took her feet and smiled squeezing them.

"Hummm. Keep doing that, "she groaned.

Danny smiled and rubbed her feet with one hand and looked for his glasses with his other hand, "I can't find my...I was sure they were here."

"Use mine." She motioned toward the table where she had thrown them.

Danny took C.J.'s reading glasses and looked at the book.

"Okay here's something we can relate to-- statistics."

Danny and C.J. shared looks.

"Let's see, paragraph number one. The average age of ..." Danny coughed and paused. He closed the book and looked up. He tried not to laugh.

"Wait, what, why did you stop..." She seemed alarmed.

"It's not..." he laughed. "It's not important really, let's go make dinner..." He tried to get up, but C.J. sprung up and stopped him by putting pressure on his legs with her feet.

"Danny..."

"I'm serious, I'll cook, we'll go out."

"No, my sense of smell is so off, no restaurants — Read the damn paragraph."

"Okay..." he laughed and went back to the page. "The average age of a parenthood in the United States is 22 and the average age of grandparenthood is 47." He tried not to laugh.

"I give up," she tried to pull herself up from the couch, but Danny pulled her, by the arm, gently back down with a tug.

"C.J.," he stressed. "Don't freak out here."

"What were we_ thinking_?" She ran her hand over her forehead. "We can't do this. I'll be..." She looked at Danny and motioned with her hand. ".. and you'll be... you'll be 67 when this kid graduates from _high school_."

"Oh, that's a comforting thought, thank you," he said sarcastically. "C.J., we're gonna be fine. So we're not twenty-five anymore. Who wants to be twenty-five anymore?

C.J. gave him a look.

"Okay, " he laughed. "It has a few added benefits."

C.J. didn't say anything.

"I think we're gonna be great at this. I really do. So we're a little long in the tooth. It just makes it the more sweet. Right?" He waited a moment for a response. "So, we weren't planning in this, so what?"

"It's gonna be hard, Danny. I've read the books."

"I think you've read _all_ the books," he chuckled."I told you weeks ago, I'm here. We're gonna do this together. I made a commitment to you and to this child. I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't even joke about that."

"I know you're scared. That's normal. " He paused and took a breath. "But, do you _not _wanna have this child?"

"No. Of course not." Her eyes got misty. "I'm scared, because I want this child so much right now, Danny. I didn't think I would, but I do. I never thought, I mean not that I was against it... you know... the thought just never–"

"I know."

They took hands.

"Trust me, okay."

"Okay, " she didn't look so convinced.

That night they laid in bed together. Danny let his hand glide firmly over her shoulder, running it along her shoulder and her neck.

Danny, on and off in his life, had thought about one day perhaps having children. Still the thought wasn't one that really entered his mind in recent years.

Danny just wanted to be with C.J. That's all he wanted for the last ten years. But, being a father did mean a lot to Danny. Family was very important to him. And the idea of having a child with this woman, this glorious, amazing woman, moved him to no end. He got choked up for a moment.

"I want you to know..." he said softly in the night. "I don't think, I never thought I could – but I don't think I've ever been happier than I am at this moment."

* * *

Month Three

2007

_Early August

* * *

_

C.J. walked down the hall of the Hollis Foundation toward her office. She was now almost four months pregnant, just ending three. She wasn't showing as much as one might think for four months because of her tall stature, but she was beginning to wear looser fitting clothes.

"Hey." Charlie came up next to her.

"Hey." She looked at Charlie and they continued walking down the hall.

Charlie had a huge smile on his face. "I was wondering if we were telling people yet."

"Telling people?" She looked at him.

"About your news. _The news. _The news of the decade so to speak."

C.J. leaned in as they walked. "Charlie, I'm really not ready to tell people yet, " she said in a hushed voice. " Danny and I are just waiting _a little _before we tell people."

"You're in the clear, C.J. Most people say you should wait three months. I read up. I Googled. I also learned that a woman of your height and weight may not even show until at least past the fifth month.It's over three months, right?"

"Yeah." C.J. lowered her head. "Four actually. Like next week." She looked worried. "Next week I go into the fourth month."

"Is something wrong?"

"No. No." She shook her head and looked at him "I'm just not ready to tell people... not yet."

"I can respect that, C.J. But, here's the thing, every summer after I'm done here with you, and I mean every summer in the sense that this will be the second time I've done this– "

They reached a set of files. C.J. opened the file cabinet and started to find a spot for the folder she was holding.

Charlie kept on talking."Before I go back to DC for school, I have dinner up in New Hampshire with the Bartlets. I have a night cap with the President, we talk about politics like learned men do—you know— and I can't say you're not gonna come up. Then Zoey drives me to the airport and I take a redeye back to DC for the start of classes."

"Charlie..." C.J. stretched out her hand as she closed the filing cabinet.

"And I really don't wanna be lying to the President."

"I did it all the time." C.J. started walking down the next hallway.

Charlie followed. "Yeah, well you got a better poker face than I do."

"That's really not true..."

"Okay, you got me on that one. But, I don't wanna lie to the man."

"You won't be lying. Just don't mention it."

"He's gonna ask how you are and then I'm gonna have to lie to the man and then he's just gonna be mad at me when he eventually finds out– and that's really not a great policy for a man I respect and who's daughter I'm dating."

They paused at the door to her office.

"And people are gonna figure it out at some point—" He gestured toward her stomach.

C.J. gave him a look and walked into her office.

Charlie paused before entering.

"So, C.J." He followed her further into her office.

"_Yes, Charles_," she mocked him.

"So, I was thinking, once the..." He gestured toward her stomach.

"Let's call it... " C.J. gestured with her hand."...the 'bagel' for now." She walked behind her desk and picked up a file that had been sitting there. She took her reading glasses to her face and opened the file.

"Okay, once _the bagel_ comes, you're gonna need someone here you trust, to, ya know, handle some of the heavy lifting."

"You pretty good at opening a mayonnaise jar, are ya Charlie?" She looked up at him as she went though some papers on her desk.

"I'm gonna be graduating next winter..."

"Are you kidding me Charlie?" She stopped what she was doing and looked up at him.

"I took some extra classes."

"What are you like a three time genius?"

"I got game." He smiled. "I was wondering if come next fall, after I take the law boards, you might be lookin' for someone a little more permanent."

"Really?" She took off her glasses and looked at him." Well.. I don't know if you'd wanna be a lawyer in this joint. I think we keep most of them locked in the basement chained to the radiator." She smiled.

"I was thinking more working for you— _with you_. I like working with you-- for you–with you—you know."

"I got game?"

"Most of the time."

"Thanks, but you don't wanna work here, Charlie." She looked down at the papers and put her reading glasses back on.

"I don't wanna work for a major law firm helping big wigs get richer."

"There's a lot of things you could do, Charlie." She took off her glasses and looked up at him "You could work in environmental law, the not-for-profit area is lousy with opportunities for—" She rounded her desk. "--but you know that–I don't have to tell you that----you must have a focus already, do you wanna be a lawyer?"

"I wanna help people. I wanna work for you."

She smiled, "I'm flattered, Charlie. I really am." She smiled at him. "But, if I kept you here I think I'd be talking you away from better things. So, come next August..."

"You're throwing my ass to the curb."

"You bettcha."

"Hey, someone's gotta stay here and teach that kid of yours to play basketball. And it's not gonna be Danny."

"Hey, I got game." Danny entered the room. "I'm from Michigan after all."

Charlie and C.J. turned their heads toward the door.

C.J. was pretty surprised to see Danny.

Charlie smirked."Yeah, well I'm from DC and I think my game could beat your game. I've seen your game, Danny. It's good., but it's not my game."

C.J. walked behind her desk toward Danny.

"Hey. I can bring it." Danny kissed C.J. on the cheek.

"What are you doin' here?" She smiled at him.

"I thought maybe a quick lunch with my wife and unborn child. You free?"

"We're not telling people." Charlie said in low tones.

"We're not?" He looked at C.J. "We agreed four months? It's almost four months."

"I'm not really showing, yet." She looked nervous and anxious. She walked away from Danny and set the paper in her hand on her desk.

"So." Danny looked a little concerned. "I thought we agreed."

C.J. turned to Danny. "I just wanna wait, okay. I run this place, I just...I think it's best if we wait."

"Okay." Danny looked disappointed. He looked at Charlie. "So, we're not telling people."

Charlie looked at Danny with one eye. "The man is always the last to know."

Danny shook his head yes.

C.J. leaned over her desk and made a few notes on a pad.

"We're also referring to it as the bagel for now." Charlie said in a deadpan.

Danny wasn't very happy. He rolled his eyes a bit ."I'm glad my child is being referred to with a euphemism for recession."

"You mind eating here?" C.J. looked up from her desk.

"Naw." Danny couldn't care less. He looked at Charlie, "You gonna teach my kid sports? You don't think at least C.J. could teach the kid basketball?"

Charlie was offended. "She didn't even know how to pop a ball until Toby taught her, I know the story." He looked at C.J. "You want me to order lunch for you guys? " He motioned toward the door with his thumb.

"Yeah, would you," she said with a sweet face.

"I got it." Charlie went for the door and left Danny and C.J. alone.

Danny looked at his wife bemused. "Toby taught you to pop a ball? I thought you were like all Dayton–highest scorer?"

"I was the only one who was as tall as the net."

"Ahh.."

Carol walked in. "Charlie said we're not telling anyone?" She sounded stressed and her voice was hushed.

"No, Carol." C.J. was firm. She looked fatigued by the whole thing. "Really, we're just not ready yet."

Danny rolled his eyes in C.J.'s direction. He was ready.

"Okay..." Carol looked very guilty.

"Carol..." C.J. stressed, because she was sure there was a but coming.

"I kinda a told..."

"Who did you tell..."

Danny smirked and looked at C.J.

"I thought it was common knowledge..."

"No, no." She took quick strides toward Carol and closer to Danny. " NOT common knowledge..." She shook her head wildly for effect.

"Listen, C.J." Charlie walked in. "Steve down in plans and documents said he heard from the coffee guy downstairs about the, you know, the bagel..."

"The coffee guy?" C.J. was agog.

Charlie kept going. "And he asked if he could tell the rest if his staff, I figured it was cool. You know, since the coffee guy knows."

"No, no, no." C.J. looked at Carol. "How does the coffee guy know?"

"I just told Sally in legal," she defended herself.

Carol and Charlie started arguing with each other.

Danny stood aside and smirked at the goings on.

C.J. tried to calm herself and Charlie and Carol down."Hey, whoa, come on, I can delegate here, I used to actually do this for a livin' when I helped run the country a billion odd years ago — you know when the dinosaurs walked the earth, so if everyone would just calm down and listen to what I have to say. Just because I'm pregnant does not mean I can not still do my job here. I still run the show here."

A man stopped in the doorway. "Oh, my god, C.J. you're pregnant,

"I give up... I seriously give up." C.J. lowered and shook her head.

Charlie shut the door.

Danny started laughing hysterically.

C.J. turned to Danny."Don't you do this. Don't laugh at me." C.J. addressed Charlie and Carol, "I have a headache. You people are giving me a headache." Really it was the pregnancy that was giving her the headache.

Danny's phone rang. He picked it up. "This is Danny. " He turned to C.J. "I'm gonna take this out--" He motioned toward the door.

C.J. let him go with the flick of her hand.

"Can I see Charlie alone?" C.J. looked down, her hands on her hip.

"Yes." Carol walked out of the room and closed the door.

"Hey, listen I'm sorry..." Charlie put his hands up. He was really sorry.

"Charlie, I'm gonna tell you something and I feel I can tell you this because we've known each other for a long time..."

"As long as it doesn't have to do with anything that might make me feel uncomfortable when we walk down the hall together."

"I promise," she said slowly.

"No pictures or descriptions of things I don't need to know about..."

"It has nothing to do with that, I promise, so calm down."

"Okay, lay it down." He put his hands in his pockets.

"I think I won't shock you when I tell you I'm _a little _up there to be having my first child... _right now_."

"Yeah, but like I said you got game."

"Thanks." She wasn't sure how to take it, but she took it.

"I mean you still look good."

"I got it..." She tried to get on with the rest of the conversation.

"Just wanted to be sure..."

"Charlie..." she stressed.

"Sorry."

"The first three months are critical, yes, but I need you to know I have my reasons..."

"You're still not out of the woods?"

"Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be out of the woods," she rattled off. " That may not be a little harsh, but..."

"You're worried?"

"Yeah." Her veneer lifted for a moment.

"Don't be, " he said with sincere firmness.

"Thanks for the pep talk, there, " she said sarcastically.

"Danny?"

"Danny doesn't get worried," she joked dryly. "I don't wanna worry him. I need him his usual _optimist_ self right now."

"I got it," he nodded his head.

"You and Carol know because you were there..Danny knows 'cause..."

"He was there... "

C.J. gave him a look.

"Sorry."

"I'm_ confiding _in you, Charles"

"I know, and I'm making jokes. I'm not being a man."

"You're being perfectly fine."

"I get it, I get it. You wanna wait as long as you possibly can."

"If it comes out, I guess it comes out, but the coffee guy, Sally in legal, that's _it_ for now. We understood? No more leaks."

Charlie nodded his head.

"Okay." She took a breath. "Right now we're not telling people."

"People meaning DC people."

"_People meaning people_, Charlie. DC people, Dayton people, Michigan people, LA people. I just want some time with this– some time with me and Danny. I'm a very private person, Charlie."

"With a very public life."

"Not anymore, Charlie. I left that fish bowl long ago."

"Understood."

"Thank you."

Charlie turned for the door, but stopped and turned back toward C.J.'s direction. "But, at some point when that kid is coming out of your neck, people are gonna start to notice."

"If the kid starts coming out of my neck, Charlie you have my personal permission to tell the world."

"And make a little cash on it along the way," he smiled.

"You can go now," she smirked back.

"I also learned that about now some woman experience a metallic taste in their mouth."

C.J. gave him a look.

"I'm gone, " Charlie smiled and walked toward the door. "By the way, C..J," He turned to her. "If I haven't mentioned it yet, I'm really happy for you and Danny. You're good people. I think you're gonna have a cool kid."

"Thanks, Charlie." Her voice went up; she was very touched and a little surprised.

Charlie smiled and left the room.

C.J. looked up for a moment and put her hand on her hip. She looked out and unbuttoned her jacket. She took a breath. She walked behind her desk and paced in front of it. She took a breath and looked away.

Danny came in and closed the door. "Hey."

"Hey..." Her voice trailed off. .

Danny walked toward her.

C.J. looked at him. "Wow, I just had the strongest flashback–you walking in to my office."

"And doing this." He leaned in and kissed her. He took hold of her lower lip and what was meant to be a small kiss turned into a passionate one as they both lingered there for a moment.

"We really shouldn't be doing this in my office. " She smiled, inches from his face.

"With the press corp right outside the door," he smirked.

C.J. pulled back and her smile became a huge frown. "What, what was that—?" she said slowly and with a another pull of her head. She wasn't happy.

"Ahhhh..." Danny had that sheepish look on his face. "I though we were role-playing..?" Danny felt stupid and unsure if he was in trouble for crossing a line.

C.J. shook her head. "Ahhh... noooo..." she said pointedly.

"Sorry..."

"No..." She shook her head. "Why?! Did you want to role—no, no. We're not!" She was firm.

"Well, as much as I want to finish this fight, I have to go."

"You bet your sweet ass!" she demanded.

"No, I have to go. I have a sweet ass?"

C.J. tried not to smile.

"Russert got screwed out of a satellite."

"A little extra cash?" She said slyly.

"Just call me a talking head."

"Interview whore."

"Hey, I gotta live in the matter to which you've made me accustomed." He chuckled. He saw C.J.'s face. "You okay?"

"I'm just fine, " she tossed her head and fake-smiled.

"Ahh... yeah..." Danny looked up with his eyes and nodded his head sarcastically.

"According to Charlie I may start spitting up ball bearings..." She wondered out loud.

Danny didn't know what to make of it. "Okay?"

He watched his wife have the oddest face.

"C.J.?" He got her attention. "I gotta go."

"I know..." She tried to pretend she was paying attention.

"I wanted to give you something first... " He pulled a small pink daisy from behind his back.

C.J. grinned sideways "This is from the lobby outside, Danny."

"Hey..." He pulled back his head slightly. "I had to act quick."

Danny spun the flower slightly between his two fingers and raised his eye brows.

C.J. smiled and they shared a loving moment of silence. After a moment C.J. spoke."You know you don't have to do this." She had that glint in her eye.

"Do what?" he asked with a glint in his voice.

"Seduce me," she said in a way that showed she actually did like it.

"Ahh... Really..." Danny smiled.

"You have me." She nodded her head. "I think we have_ proof _positive you have me."

Danny laughed."Yeah, well...this is my thing. And I like doing it."

C.J. smiled and took a breath, she laughed shyly. Why, she wasn't sure. Everything felt new again.

Danny took a moment before speaking. "I just wanted to again remind you how excited I am about this. I wanted you to know that I am. All this talk, I thought we needed some positive interjected in there somewhere." He knew his wife so well.

C.J. took a breath and ran her hand over his left shoulder. She nodded her head.

"I'm glad you agree." He laughed.

"Me too." C.J. nodded her head full of emotion.

"What?" He asked with a huge smile.

"I'm excited too, Danny." She was full of emotion.

Danny smiled hugely.

* * *

Month Four

_Late August

* * *

_

Danny laid on the bed reading the paper. He could hear C.J. in the bathroom.

"You okay?" he asked after not hearing her for a while.

"My breasts are huge." She seemed agog.

"Really..." Danny's smirk could actually be heard in his voice. "I hadn't noticed." He flipped the page of his paper over to read the next page.

C.J. poked her head out from the bathroom and gave Danny a look.

Danny raised his eye brows.

C.J.'s head submerged back into the bathroom.

After a moment the light was turned off and Danny felt C.J. lean onto the bed next to him. He reached his hand, without looking, onto her stomach as she tried to pass.

C.J. paused and looked down at him.

Danny grinned up at her and raised his eyebrows.

C.J. laid herself back onto the bed. Suddenly, she winced in pain.

"Leg cramp?"

"Yeah..." she gritted her teeth and nodded her head.

Danny inched closer to her and took hold of her right leg.

C.J. nodded her head.

Danny started to massage it.

C.J. took a breath and relaxed.

After a silence she moved her head back onto the pillow. "Toby didn't call, did he?"

"No." Danny tried not to show on his face, or in his voice, how much he knew that small tidbit of information hurt her.

* * *

FIFTH MONTH

_Mid-September

* * *

_

Bigger than she was before, yet still looking barely as pregnant as her pregnant body really was, C.J. Concannon looked as if she was holding a very small half basketball under her shirt.

She sat up in bed, the lights off, watching _Nightline_, her glasses on her head.

Danny was asleep next to her with a book open on his lap.

C.J. put down the small, now empty, bag of chips from her hand and set it on the night stand next to her. She took the book from Danny's lap and set it next to her alarm clock. She looked back at Danny and reached for the remote.

"Ohh, my god," her words clipped fast and she jumped. C.J. put her hand on her stomach. She looked like she had seen a ghost.

"What, what!" Danny shot up like a light. "What? What is it? What...ahhh...ummmm." He was so bad when woken up, especially when he had just fallen asleep. "What is it..?" He looked over at her with concern.

"I think..." She looked at Danny. She felt it again."Whoa...oh lord.." She put her hand to her stomach. Her eyes almost bugged out.

"Really?" he grinned.

"Yeah..." She smiled and took Danny's hand to her stomach.

Danny waited a moment and then his eyes lit up."I felt that." Danny's head nodded with a smile. He smiled at his wife. "Wow."

"Yeah..." She took a gulp.

They took hands over C.J.'s stomach. This was really happening. C.J.'s face was huge with a toothy smile of amazement.

* * *

A few weeks later...

* * *

C.J. met Danny at the doorway. She started to take off his tie. 

"Hey..." He wasn't sure what was going on.

"Take your clothes off," she demanded.

"Okay?" Danny wasn't sure what was going on.

"My hormones are driving me crazy." She started to unbutton his shirt.

"Seriously?" Danny had a shocked giddy look on his face.

She kissed him passionately.

"How much of a window do we have on this?"

"Anywhere between two weeks and four months." She pulled on the lapel of his jacket. "If you don't follow me in ten seconds I'm starting without you." And she disappeared.

Danny smiled and laughed, but soon realized she was serious. He bolted toward the bedroom.

* * *

SIXTH MONTH

"Early November"

* * *

"I thought _I_ was gonna pick you up from the airport?" He took her hands and kissed her as she entered the doorway with a small carry-on. 

She set the carry on down. "I got an earlier flight at the last minute."

"You still..." He kissed her. "... could have called?" He had his keys in his hand as if he was just about to leave.

"I'm fine." C.J. noticed a large pram carriage behind him. "What's that?" She took a few steps toward it with a smile. "It's beautiful."

"It just came." He gestured with a card in his hand.

"Really? From _whom_?" She looked at Danny and smiled. "I think we already have every baby present New Hampshire can offer?"

Danny grinned and handed her the card.

With a question mark look she took the card and read it. She gave out an small audible gasp. C.J. turned to Danny and nodded her head with such emotion. "Toby..."

"Yeah..."

She took Danny's hand and squeezed it.

* * *

Seventh Month

The Last days Of November

* * *

C.J. sat in her living room, very pregnant, with a laptop set on her stomach. She put her glasses on and starting writing. She wrote her life up to that point because now she finally had the time to do so. Now that C.J. had almost three months with nothing much to do, banned from her desk job, she had time to catch up on.

* * *

EIGHTH MONTH

Early December

* * *

Danny walked into his living room and dropped his keys in a dish near the door with a clang. 

He walked into the living room to find C.J. sitting in the arm chair.

"What's wrong?" He looked at his wife sitting sullen in the large easy chair.

She looked up at her husband, just about eight months pregnant, and looked as if she was about to cry.

"I can't get up!" She whined and threw up her hands

"Ohhh…" Danny tried not to laugh as he moseyed toward her.

"I've completely lost my equilibrium." Her voice hit new heights in pitch. "And I know, I know… I hardly had it before, but I mean now it's all _shot_ to hell."

"Have you been sitting here since I left?" he tried not to laugh.

"Noooo..." She looked at him. "For maybe an hour. Don't you laugh..."

"I'm not, " he chuckled.

She gave him a look.

"Get up," he said sweetly, walking toward her.

"I'm serious here. I get up and I'm bound to hit every doorway, doorknob, and end table in sight. So unless you want your child born with the word EMTEK embossed into its forehead, you'll let me be." She paused and looked at her stomach. "And sit here." She paused "For the rest of my natural life."

"Emtex?"

"It's a door knob brand!--this is not the point here!!"

"Sorry," Danny grumbled and lowered his head. Danny waited a moment and lifted his head."C.J., get up." He motioned with his head and a smile.

"I'm not kidding here," she squealed.

Danny reached out his hands for her. "I'll help you." He grinned.

"Yeah, well, you said that last time and look where it got us."

"You gonna use that joke for the entire nine months?" he joked and helped her to her feet.

"I think after what _you_ did, I can use that joke for the rest of my life if I want to," she said pointedly. She wasn't in her best mood.

"Okay..." he chuckled.

"Now, I feel I need to have a place to go," she almost groaned.

"We're not going anywhere?"

"I just hated the fact that I _couldn'_t go anywhere."

"You would."

She gave him a look.

"Well, I put something in the backyard, I was gonna bring it in later-- I couldn't fit it through the front door..."

"Bring me to it," she said with a dryness in her voice.

"Okay.." he chuckled softly.

Danny gently helped C.J. over to the side door. He smiled at her, held on to her with one arm and pushed open the sliding door. He took her a few steps into the doorway.

C.J. didn't know where to focus her attention.

Danny showed her with his eyes.

Sitting in the backyard was a cradle.

C.J. took a deep breath and sighed.

This was really happening. She was having a baby. C.J. took a breath.

* * *

A few weeks later...

* * *

"Can't sleep?" Danny asked her in the night. 

"No," she said feeling helpless. Her entire body was so uncomfortable she felt like a stranger in her own body. Sleeping was becoming more and more difficult.

* * *

Approaching The Ninth Month

New Years Eve

* * *

C.J. walked into the house first. Danny walked in behind her and closed the door behind him. 

C.J., very pregnant, and very tried, smiled a little at Danny.

She really had no energy, was almost always fatigued, plus there was the heart burn, the extra weight, it all showed on her face.

Danny took off her black wrap, to reveal a very short black baby doll dress perfect for the extra girth C.J. was now packing. The dress glittered a little in the light.

"I'm glad we had an excuse to leave that thing early." Danny disappeared in the other direction to put away her wrap.

C.J. took a breath, looking at the lightly lit room. She made her way down the small steps and walked toward the Christmas tree sitting in the corner of the living room. The lights from the outside shined in through the large window.

C.J. sighed and nodded her head.

After a moment Danny appeared in the living room with her.

"Danny..."

"Yeah.." he said softly.

C.J. turned around and looked at him. "Nothing..."

"You wanna go to bed...?"

"Not yet."

"You look tired?"

"I always look tired, I'm pregnant," she quipped.

"Really, I hadn't noticed," he smirked.

"I just want to unwind out here for a little."

"Let me just write an idea down, I'll come back and rub your feet." He kissed her and handed her a glass of water.

C.J. smiled.

The glass of water was Danny's little unsaid words of love. The doctor had told them drinking a lot of water would make her feel more comfortable.

C.J. turned on the TV set in the fireplace, and made her way down onto the couch very slowly. She kicked off her shoes. C.J. took a sip of the water and set the drink on a small table to the left of the couch.

C.J. caught the news and her face went ashen. News of the moment: Kazakhstan. It struck her in a way it hadn't before. The news story flooded back memories of her own past with the place, the sit room, the oval office, Kate, The President, Danny, the last months of being in office, her chest felt tight.

She reached for the water and knocked it over.

Danny heard the sound.

C.J. tried taking large breaths. They came on short and stunted.

"C.J.?" Danny walked into the living room and saw her face.

She took in a large breath.

He ran to her side. "C.J."

"I'm fine." Her voice was soft and strained. She nodded her head and regained her control.

"What's wrong, is it the baby?"

She shook her head, "no."

"Another panic---?" he asked.

She took a large breath, and shook her head yes before he could finish the sentence.

Danny sighed in the pain he felt for his wife. "Look at me. Breathe."

C.J. took a deep breath..

He took her eyes, like the doctor had told him to do. "What did it?" Danny looked around. Realizing it was the TV, he grabbed the remote and turned the TV off with an angry force before tossing the remote away with the same energy. He took hold of her face. "Just breathe, okay." He wasn't as used to her attacks as he would be a few weeks later in Dayton when she had one again.

C.J. took heavy breaths and finally they become soft and clear.

Danny took his fingers under her eyes to take away a few tears. He sat down on the couch with her.

C.J. took a breath.

"Okay?"

She nodded her head.

"Two in eight months, pretty good." He laughed, trying to put her at ease "What started this? The TV?"

C.J. pulled from Danny and stood up.

Danny was surprised.

"C.J.?"

"Danny..." She turned from him. She took a heavy breath. She didn't say anything for almost half a minute. Finally she spoke. "What are we doing here?" Her voice was drained and raspy. She turned and looked at him.

He looked at her oddly. "What are we doing? I don't know—" There was a long pause. "We're having a baby?" He rose to his feet and looked at her. "Is that what you're taking about?" He gave her an odd eye, wondering where she was going and at the same time wary of the ticking time bomb in front of him.

"What right do we have..." she stressed through hard emotion.

"C.J.---" he demanded with all concern.

"... To bring a child into _this_ world." She aggressively motioned her hand toward the TV.

"You're upset..." he put his hands up and walked toward her trying to be a calming influence.

"I'm bringing _a child _into this world—this world_ I_ created.." She dug her hand into her chest, "What right do I have to do that?" Her tears started to flow slowly under her lids.

"You didn't create this, C.J. This has been going on in Asia before any of us were born and it will go on far after we're gone. C.J., you didn't start this."

She turned and nodded her head no. Her eyes filled with tears. She was so conflicted and hurt. Her hormones were getting the best of her.

"Come to bed. " Danny walked toward her with all his sureness.

C.J. walked away.

"You'll feel better in the morning." He put his hand out.

"I don't know if I will."

"C.J.." He walked closer to her.

She looked at him. "I want to have this conversation now." She was pointed and clear.

"Now? You want to have this conversation now?" Danny for the first time looked like he might lose his top. "Just after your had a panic attack? When your hormones are spiking through the roof? You _really _think this is the time?"

"I really do!" She was firm and angry.

"Fine, you wanna have this now?" Danny had enough. " If we have a_ right_..." He looked like he might cry, but he pulled it back in. "Maybe this was something we should have had out eight months ago when I asked you if you wanted this child. Is that what you're saying, C.J.? Do you not want this child?" Danny was more than upset. He found the entire discussion ridiculous.

They were both tired – from the long night and almost nine months of worry and concern, pulled in feelings and unshared thoughts. It was all coming out.

"Yes, yes, of course I do," she shrieked. She looked on the verge of tears.

"Then what, C.J.?!" He demanded. "Talk to me. I can't help you if you don't talk to me.**"**

"This_ child _is all I think about, Danny." She put her hand on her stomach. "Do you get that!? I can't go a moment without worrying or thinking about this child! " She seemed so lost and terrified.

"I do." He nodded his head. "I really do." Danny was getting it. They shared the same fears.

"Every minute of almost every hour of the day all I can think about is this child--"

"The world has always been filled with messed up things and messed up people, C.J. Something bad is always gonna be around that corner..."

"I know..."

"But, it's making you worry?"

"Everything is making me worry, Danny. I can't _not_ worry-- I can't not think about anything else and this child hasn't even come out of me yet!." Tears started fall down her face.

"Yeah.." Danny got it.

"Do you feel this way?"

"I do." He nodded his head slowly.

"We've haven't talked about it." Her voice was filled with fear.

"No." He shook his head no as a revelation of open dialogue was hitting them.

"This is what it's like to be a parent?" She asked in a hysterical haze.

"I'm told."

"How do people take it?"

"I don't know." He took her hands and squeezed them.

"_This_ child is still inside of me, Danny..." she demanded.

"I know..." he tried to calm her.

"---What am I going to do when she goes to school for the first time?"

"I'm sorry, what did...?"

"...or leaves the house on her own--or god forbid she wants to borrow the car keys."

"Did you just say we're having a girl." He was agog.

"Ohhh." C.J. put her hand to her mouth. "Danny..."

"We're having a girl?" he was in shock.

"Oh...no."

"A girl."

"I didn't mean, Danny, I'm sorry." She saw how shocked he looked. "Are you mad?"

"No," he said pointedly.

"I didn't mean to..."

"I know you didn't, " he assured her.

"Danny..."

"It's okay." He took her hands.

"I'm sorry, you know how I need to know everything."

"We're having a girl?"

"Yeah." She smiled and nodded her head.

He kissed her hands and then looked into her eyes. "I guess this means we can start focusing on a name."

"Can we wait on that." C.J. was hesitant. "I'd rather wait until after she comes, okay?." She had that scared look on her face. " I don't want to name her yet."

"Okay." He got it and it got him choked up. He would abide by her wishes.

"It's so strange, Danny. I've never experienced anything like this feeling."

"I know..." he nodded his head.

"What is going on with us?"

"Bartlet told me he called it 'The End of Pluralism,'" Danny laughed.

"What?"

"When I was in New Hampshire." He took a pause. " I didn't tell you this? The President told me this would happen. He called it the End of Pluralism."

"He refered to my mental undoing with a term for political unity & government democracy!?"

"Well, no. I think he was using it more as pun, but that's beside the point."

C.J. was getting a little frustrated with this conversation. "I think the point has gone out the window buttercup, along with my sanity."

Danny just looked at his wife. "He said you have this woman." He paused. "This amazing woman who in some oddity has agreed to marry you– to be with you. And it's all about _you_ and this amazing woman. Both of you together, until one day this child comes into your life —one day out of the blue it's no longer about the plural."

"It's about the singular?"

"Yeah." He smiled.

"The end of Pluralism." She droned off to show she got it. She felt it was corny, but she got it.

"Yeah..." he laughed.

"I think we've just skirted past the end and went straight into the_ throngs_."

"Yeah," he said in a hushed tone and took her hands.

"It's not that I'm afraid of not thinking about myself."

"I know."

"I"m scared of _just_ thinking about someone else's life, like this, for the rest of my own natural life." She paused. "It scares me. To love someone so much like this."

"Yeah..." he was choked up.

"What if it overwhelmed me? What if I turn into one of those crazy overprotective mothers who won't let their kid leave the house."

"You won't."

"You don't know that."

"The fact that you just said you don't want to shows you _won't, _C.J."

"Danny–"

"It's going to be fine. We're _all _going to be fine–"

"You don't know that."

"I do." He nodded his head.

"You don't..."

"I do know that." He said plainly and with his own sense of sureness.

"Don't make it sound like it's nothing."

"We're gonna be good at this"

"What if we can't–?"

"We'll figure it out. No one's perfect, but we're gonna figure it out. Everything, C.J. You'll see."

"Is this how the rest of our life is gonna be, isn't it?" She took in a quick breath. "You're always gonna be right and I'm always gonna be wrong?

"I'm not always right."

"You are." She took it in a for a moment. "I should have known. This is the way it's been – the way it's always been. You're the one so sure of the end before I can even wrap my brain around the beginning. You saw all of this, didn't you? _This_ entire life we have-- you saw it. Right from the start. You, me. This child."

"C.J." He took her hands to calm her. It took him a moment to get her to take a breath. "This– you and me—" He smiled. "The dream never got past this point." He put his hands over her arms. "From now on – it's you and me... together."

She nodded her head and lowered it.

Danny smiled and took a breath.

C.J. sucked in the last of her remaining tears.

"Okay..." He smiled. " I think we've covered everything here." He smiled. "Presidential wisdom, parenting, I'm always right." He smiled. " So... unless there's anything else, any more fears and jeers left to cover, I think it's time we go to bed, okay?" Danny kissed C.J. on the forehead and squeezed her hand. He turned and started walking toward the bedroom.

"I'm afraid to give birth!" she screamed as if it had been locked inside of her for months. The flood gates had been opened.

Danny slowly turned and looked at her with a wry look. "I wish that was something I could help you with."

"It's not funny!"

"No, it isn't." He rolled his head to the side and walked toward her.

"An entire person is physically going to be coming out of _me_."

"I know."

"No, you don't!"

"I'd say that's a fine call for pharmaceutical medicine." He saw how freaked she was. "You're gonna to be fine," he stressed.

"What happens if I don't get to the hospital----- I could have this child in a ditch somewhere."

"You're not going to give birth in a–"

"Or get stuck in an elevator."

"An elevator? Are you planing on having this child on a sitcom?"

"Stop it." She cried. "I'm having a serious crisis here."

"You're going to have this child in hospital, C.J." He assured her. "I'm gonna be there with a doctor and a serious amount of drugs, I promise." He smiled.. "Even if I have to go all the way to Canada to get them."

C.J. laughed.

He loved he could make her laugh. It was when he could make her laugh that they both felt so suited together. C.J. was the kind of woman who could only end up with a man in her life with a cheery disposition and a good sense of humor.

"I'm still afraid..."

"Don't be..." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Good answer..." she said sarcastically.

"It's a terrible answer..." He smiled. "But, that's all I got left, right now. I'm saying don't be, 'cause I'm here. He took a breath and wrapped his arms around her.

She hugged him back.

"Sorry. That's all I got C.J." He shrugged his shoulders at her.

"You know..." She smiled and sucked in her tears. "There's no one closer to me than you and you're the only person I know who's never called me Claudia Jean?"

"Do you want me to?" he asked wondering why she chose this moment to come to such a conclusion.

"No." She smiled through her tears. "I like this just fine." She was getting choked up again.

They stayed attached in the dimly lit room for a moment.

"One more month after tomorrow, we're almost there..."

C.J. took a breath. They were almost to the finish line.

* * *

She laid in bed in the darkness.

He looked at her, concerned but silent.. He took her hand and she pulled it tight over her pregnant stomach and they just held each other.

She faced him with that face, the face that she loved. The kindest face she'd ever seen, the face she bemused she had almost lost because of her own stubbornness.

He put his hand on her stomach and her smile became big, it was some time after that moment that C.J. found she no longer feared the child inside of her. It wasn't just because she wasn't alone, it was because she wasn't alone in her fear. She and Danny were ready to have this child. They were ready to walk into another unknown, together.

* * *

**End of Chapter 22**

**

* * *

**

_Dialogue copyright 2006_


	23. Chapter 23: New Things

**On The Road With Danny Concannon**

"_New Things"_

**Companion Episode**: Institutional Memory

* * *

_And you say, be still my love _

_Open up your heart, let the light shine in _

_Don't you understand _

_I already have a plan _

_I'm waiting for my real life to begin_

Colin Hay ~**_Waiting for My Real Life to Begin_**

* * *

**Institutional memory- **comprises a range of human endeavors to assure intellectual knowledge preservation. Systems of socialization and control are conserved via institutional memories, via rules, procedures, technologies, beliefs, and culture.

* * *

"Just a casual conversation about your future."

–**Margaret Hooper**

* * *

TWO YEARS AND SIX MONTHS LATER

**LATE JULY 2008**

The Cregg-Concannon Household

_Home of Claudia Jean, Daniel, and Kathleen_

Santa Monica, CA

* * *

"C.J.!" Danny yelled with his head in the closest. "Have you seen my tan jacket!"

"The light one?" C.J. called from the hallway

"Ahh...I guess?" Danny had no idea really about his fashion wardrobe. He had that cute confused look on his face.

C.J. peeked her head out of the hallway and smiled at Danny. "I had it dry cleaned- it's hanging on the outside of the door." She smiled.

Danny closed the closet door to find the hanging plastic staring him in the face. "Oh."

"Oh." She smiled and her head disappeared back into the hallway.

Danny took the jacket off the hanger and ripped the plastic off as he walked toward the bed where his suitcase, open and half packed, was greeting him.

C.J. walked back into the bedroom with a small wheeled suitcase. She set the suitcase on the bed next to Danny's suitcase.

Danny and C.J. smiled at each other as if they were still newlyweds.

"Aunt C.J." Hogan emerged from the baby's room, through a door that now connected the child's room with Danny and C.J.'s bedroom. She had a small towel over one shoulder and a baby monitor in her right hand. "How does this thing work?".

Since Danny was the closest to the Hogan and the doorway, he took the monitor from her and showed her how to use it.

"Okay, cool." Hogan exited back into the baby's room.

C.J. gave Danny a look.

He gave her a reassuring look back.

C.J. smiled and took a breath. She set a few things into the small suitcase and stopped for a moment. "Should I bring another change of clothes – I used to be able to pack light – what happened to me?" She joked at the small amount of traveling she and Danny had done since her days in the White House.

She found Danny's lips on her shoulder and his hand on the sides of her arms and soon both hands around her waist.

"Well, you know me –I'd be fine if you didn't pack anything at all."

Hogan reentered the room and coughed. Danny broke away from his wife's side.

C.J. smiled and exited into the bathroom.

Danny continued packing.

"So, you're going to the Bartlet library opening." Hogan more commented than asked.

"Yeah." Danny smiled.

"You don't find that weird?" Hogan sat on the bed next to Danny as he packed.

"How?"

"You wrote all those stories— I mean some of them not so good, not in content, you know —just not at all _flattering_ all the time and now you're going to this thing celebrating the administration. Don't you feel like a Red Sox fan sitting in the bleachers with the die hard Yankee fanatics?"

"I'm not going as a reporter, I'm going as—"

"The husband to one of the President's chief advisors. I still think it's a little weird."

"Yeah, well..." He smirked a little. "We've had a _long time _to get over that."

The baby cried, breaking the moment.

Danny and Hogan both turned their heads toward the baby's room.

"I got her." Hogan and Danny both said together. They looked at each other.

Danny knew, for the next few days at least, that wasn't his job anymore.

C.J. shot from the bathroom out of mother's instinct.

"Let me." Hogan said. "I need to get used to this."

"Get used to_ this_?" Danny smirked as Hogan made her way to his daughter's bedroom. "This is something I wanna hear about my _only_ child."

C.J. and Danny gave each other a small look before she went back into the bathroom.

"Relax, Danny." Hogan turned and started walking backwards toward the doorway. "I've done this before – I wasn't being literal. I got it covered." She turned around and almost hit the door frame.

Danny chuckled.

C.J. walked out of the bathroom and placed a few small bags of make up and such in her suitcase. She couldn't stop eyeing the baby's room.

Danny noticed. He watched C.J. and tried not to snicker. "She'll be fine." Danny assured her.

"Yeah..." C.J. didn't take her eyes off the doorway.

There was a moment of silent packing.

Danny looked down, but C.J. couldn't help but look at the door now and then.

"You want to never leave this house for the next eighteen years." Danny couldn't help but smirk after his comment.

"Right." C.J. went back to her packing. She took Kate Harper's book off her night stand and placed it in her purse.

After a moment Hogan emerged from the baby's room with the baby in tow.

"Look who's awake." Hogan said, sweetly rocking her up and down.

Danny and C.J.'s eyes lit up.

"Ahh...there's my precious girl." Danny kissed the top of his daughter's head and rested there for a moment.

C.J. smiled in mid-fold.

"I think she's hungry. Should I use one of the bottles from downstairs?"

"No, I'll do it." C.J. took a few steps and put her hands out.

Danny zipped closed his suitcase.

"No, it's good practice," Hogan smiled. "For when I have my own kids soon," she said cooing at the baby in a child like voice.

"No!" Danny and C.J. said together.

"Hey, I'm 20 years old."

"And still in school!" C.J. reprimanded.

"I didn't mean_ now_," Hogan was agog.

"I hope not." C.J. said like a mother.

C.J. went back to her packing. "Don't use the pool, it's covered for now, she's just learning to swim."

"Aunt C.J., I know..."

"There's still a lock on the patio door, so just remember to lock it if you need to go in or out."

"The deck is fine." Danny spoke with a smile as he entered the bathroom.

"You have our cell phone numbers..." C.J. continued.

"Yeah." Hogan nodded her head.

Danny walked out of the bathroom and handed C.J. their toothbrushes.

C.J. set the toothbrushes in her travel bag and set that in her suitcase. "And I left the number of the bed and breakfast we're staying at. It's next to the emergency numbers by the phone in the kitchen."

"Check." Hogan was all business.

"There's enough formula in the freezer for two weeks so you should be fine." C.J. was always prepared.

"In case your trip is delayed by like half a month..." Hogan said dryly.

"-I also left the Bartlet's number-"

Danny smiled and ran over his wife's words. "And a few random cell numbers of some high ranking cabinet members, Josh Lyman, Donna Moss, a couple of First Ladies and the FBI."

C.J. gave Danny a wry look.

"So, don't be intimidated to ask those running the country at what temperature you should heat the milk." Danny looked at C.J. and smiled.

"I'm going off the deep end, aren't I?" C.J. laughed.

"Just a little, babe." He kissed her. "I'm gonna start loading the car." Danny shot off the bed with his suitcase . He took Hogan gently by the arm. "Thanks for everything, Hogan."

Hogan smiled. "Anytime."

Danny smiled at the three women and left the bedroom.

C.J.'s eyes lit up at just the thought of her child and she reached her hands out toward the baby girl. Kat took C.J.'s finger in her small fist.

C.J. looked down at her gorgeous daughter. The only thought she could muster was the thought that in just 24 hours, for the first time in her daughter's life, they would be without each other for more than half a day. This was an entire weekend, miles away. A whole other time zone. C.J. got a little teary eyed.

Downstairs Danny found C.J.'s phone sitting on his desk in his office. He chuckled to himself, thinking how far they had come. It was only three years earlier that C.J. would have never kept her phone, let alone any communication device, at such a far off range. Things had changed so much. So many new things had made them different people with different lives. Their time in DC seemed so far away.

* * *

**Early January 2006**

**The Home of Danny Concannon**

Washington, DC

Almost three years **before**

* * *

C.J. stood next to the bedside table by Danny's bed. At the same time, Danny stood parallel to C.J. on the other side of his bed.

Danny couldn't take his eyes off C.J. as she got ready for bed. First she took out her Blackberry and set it on the night stand; it hit the table top with a click. Next she took her pager from her back belt loop and placed it next to the Blackberry, and then placed her cell phone next to her pager so they were all set together in a row.

C.J. noticed Danny staring at her. "What?" she said to him.

"Nothing," he laughed it off and took his wallet out of his back pocket and placed it on the table.

C.J. had that sweet embarrassed look on her face.

Danny took his own phone out of his pocket. Holding the phone in his right hand he flipped the phone open and turned it off.

* * *

**That night...**

* * *

There was a naked woman lying in Danny Concannon's bed. Not that there had never been a naked woman in Danny Concannon's bed, but there had been a long time during which he'd slept alone. A long time in many ways.

And it wasn't just any naked woman, it was the slender form and figure of one Ms. Claudia Jean Cregg. The woman he had done everything but slay the dragon for – he'd talked the talk, fought the good fight, and now there she was. Like an exquisite milky white goddess in his bed. He watched her lie there and he ran his hand over the curves of her body, because he could. Because after seven years of waiting, she let him. And now the future was at hand.

Nothing was said. They just looked into each other's eyes silently until they both fell asleep

* * *

**During the night...**

* * *

C.J. crept out of Danny's bed in the darkness.

Danny felt her stir and turned his body just in time to grin and watch C.J.'s naked figure walk softly into the bathroom. He leaned on one elbow and smiled at her shape.

After a moment a small stream of light crept into the bedroom through the slightly ajar bathroom door.

"So, am I ever gonna get the chance to take you out to dinner again?" he threw his voice a little for her to hear, and raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" she threw her voice into the bedroom at a respectable tempo.

"No, I'm awake." He turned his body and laid back on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows.

"I'm sorry. " Her voice was sweet and concerned.

"Nothing to be sorry about." He paused for a moment and waited for an answer from C.J. "So, am I ever gonna get that dinner?".

"We just had dinner at _701_ last week?" she said like a question because she was sure that they had.

C.J. turned off the bathroom light and emerged from the bathroom dressed in Danny's brown bathrobe.

"That was four weeks ago," he grumbled in a sleepy tone.

"Really?" She walked toward the bed at a quick pace for lack of heat.

"It was before Christmas."

C.J. was sure it had been less than four weeks ago. "Oh...?" She was now at the side of the bed.

Danny pulled back the covers for her. "You cold?" He saw what she was wearing in the moon light.

"It's _January_." She got into the bed.

Danny spread the blankets over her with one motion.

"You know you could always just bring something to sleep in."

C.J. got herself comfortable in the bed. "Just an extra thing to pack." She snuggled her head into the pillow next to Danny.

"Yeah..." Danny lowered himself back into the bed and closer to C.J. He looked her over in his bathrobe. "I have clothes, ya know?" He moved closer to her.

"I'm fine." She turned and kissed him. "You're sweet." She leaned back into her side of the bed and closed her eyes.

Danny ran his arms around her.

"So, dinner? You free? I thought Tuesday?"

"Sure." She closed her eyes and nested into his body.

"Good." He smiled with glee. Danny was a happy boy.

* * *

**Two days later...**

* * *

It was Monday night, January 9th - two days since Danny had seen her last. It was small interval of absence between them, but the longest in a long time. Even with just a few days of absence, it all started again, like clockwork: C.J. arrived at Danny's door – unannounced, but very much welcomed.

Danny would try not to wait up for her, but he always found himself wanting to. And some time between eleven and twelve she would arrive. She wasn't the busiest girl in the world anymore, and she chose to spend the still small amount of free time she had with Danny.

Still, Danny was also used to her _not_ appearing on his doorstep. He told himself he was fine with that, just part of the mystery, part of the sex appeal. And oh how sexy it was. Hot passionate sex with the most beautiful woman, inside and out, he had ever seen, with the secret service not far outside the door.

Danny took it all very well. He took it all in the same way be took most of the things in his life, with his happy-go-lucky, all-is-well-in-Denmark feeling.

Yet, something inside of him wanted more from her. He pushed it down inside of him - all the time C.J. was telling him all would be well in just four weeks, in three weeks, and now two weeks. The clock was ticking. The clock was ticking and they seemed to not be moving forward. And no one was all to blame.

Danny knew the head of C.J.'s detail by name by now. The agent didn't even have to say a word when he came to Danny's door on the second floor. Danny knew the drill. He couldn't talk to her. Not until an agent had taken a brief walk around his space. Until then Danny had to wait. And so he waited.

The agent finished his look over, thanked Danny, and exited the apartment only to be replaced by C.J.

C.J. shut the door behind her. She dropped her purse and her overnight bag on the table near the door.

"Hi," he said with a huge smile, almost giddy to see her.

"Hi," she said wrapping her arms and lips around him.

And that's how their night would start. She'd take off her coat and sometimes he'd offer her a drink. If it wasn't too late, he'd make her dinner and they would politely make their way to the bedroom like an old married couple getting ready for bed. Other times, it was like two newlyweds making up for lost way, on the nights she arrived, the night always ended the same.

It had been that way for two months. Two months of Danny waiting for her to be ready. Waiting for her to show up. Waiting for her to be ready to move forward.

C.J.'s mind and body, on the other hand, went into shock. Too many things to deal with - her brain seemed to shut off to what was really going on between the two of them. Her emotions were now at their purest, coming from the core of who she was and she was on the verge of breakdown. It was too much for a person to handle. Denial was the only course of action. Denial: the defense mechanism of champions.

She didn't want to go forward. Forward meant going into the unknown after a record number of years in the comfortable known. Her feelings, anxiety really, regarding leaving the White House, a place she loved, and her true feelings toward Danny had forced her body to be blind, deaf, and dumb. Or perhaps it had just been so long since she had felt this way. Perhaps it was because really, she had truly never felt this way before. It wasn't the right time for this to all be happening. It was all too much for one woman to deal with. Especially a woman who had spent most of her life focusing on one thing: work.

Danny on the other hand reveled in the moments, the few hours he and C.J. shared together each night after so many years of waiting. But now, two months into it, Danny felt like he was back to waiting. Danny was left doing what he did best.

And so Danny did something he almost never did, he pushed down his feelings. He knew she didn't need that guy right now. As long as they worked it all out the day after Bartlet left office, he was fine with being in limbo land. Leaving the White House was taking a large enough emotional toll on her.

And so he tried not to let it bother him. He tried not to let it bother him that he seemed to be only a 'booty call' to her lately. That she didn't call at all. That he felt her putting up a wall where he was concerned. That she seemed afraid to connect on certain levels. That she kept pulling away. She was scared. He tried so hard that he didn't realize how much it all did bother him. Not until that morning. Not until he joked a little too close to the truth.

* * *

**Tuesday**

**5:05 AM**

* * *

In the morning Danny awoke before the alarm, as he often did after nights with C.J.. He turned toward her and paused for a moment to look at her beauty in his bed. Her eyes closed, her hair a little mussed. He took her wrist and lightly ran his finger along the inner edge to wake her.

C.J.'s eyes opened and she gazed on Danny with a huge smile of satisfaction.

He smiled back. "Time to get up," he said in his own sleep stupor.

"Already?" she grumbled.

"I'll start the coffee..." His voice was soft and gravel-like.

In a flash Danny was gone.

C.J. got ready for her day. She took a shower, blow-dried her hair, got half dressed and set out the rest of her clothes on the radiator for warmth, before putting Danny's robe back on while she brushed her teeth. She paused a moment as Danny's smell permeated from the robe back onto her skin. She smelled the cuff and smiled and began to brush her teeth again.

Danny poored coffee into his Norte Dame cup and poured C.J. her own cup in the red mug which was now becoming C.J.'s mug. He picked up the cups and brought them into the bedroom.

* * *

**Danny**

"I was thought maybe Barton's tonight?"

**C.J.**

"For dinner?"

**Danny**

"Yeah"

**C.J.**

"I have the trade commission. Did I say I was free?"

**Danny**

"Yeah..."

**C.J.**

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't speak when I don't have my book in front of me."

* * *

"Come here. " Danny pulled her close for another kiss.

C.J. kissed him, but pulled away. Late for work, she was anxious, but something else was there, Danny could see it. It was just another window to how she was feeling. It didn't make Danny feel well at all. Not in the least bit. Danny felt cut off from her.

Danny watched C.J. quickly run around him as she finished getting ready for her day. He felt frozen, just a cog in the system, drinking his coffee and watching the television. He felt that distance again from her. It made his eyes look weary and pulled back.

Danny was still sitting on the bed when C.J. leaned in for a quick kiss. He didn't pull her back in this time for a longer one.

And she left.

He heard the door shut.

Danny felt a feeling of "man you messed that one up." And he couldn't shake the feeling that she was pulling away, again. It hurt him, but he told himself she was going through a lot. He had to be patient. Transition was hard and it wasn't at all a reflection on him. He shook it off like he had been doing the last few weeks whenever the idea had started to creep into his brain. He had to. He had to shake it off.

Danny took a deep breath and leaned down on the floor of the bedroom. He started to do push ups to work out the demons.

He hadn't meant any of it what he had said to C.J. that morning.

"_I don't make booty calls,"_ he heard her say back to him, in his head. Not in the best tone of voice. She was bothered by the accusation.

He really had been kidding with her. That's what Danny told himself as he huffed and puffed through his daily ritual of push ups. Danny may have been joking, but some of his true feelings had come out and not in the way he had wanted them to.

"_Let's all take a breath... I was kidding."_ Danny heard his own words in his head. Had he made that clear to her, he wondered?

All those days and nights of half-sleep stupor had caused unwanted tension. He started to feel pretty awful.

Danny started his crunches.

After his in-house work out, he went to the gym for a run on the treadmill and some weights. From there he took a shower, got dressed, and headed to work.

Maisy found him in his office, early again, typing away.

"Good Morning," she said with coffee in hand.

Danny said hello back and Maisy smiled.

Maisy loved it when Danny was in a great mood. It reminded her of the man she first started working for four years ago. Danny was doing what Danny did best. He was living in the moment. He was being the good guy.

* * *

**Around Ten thirty that day**

* * *

Margaret answered the phone. "Chief of Staff's office."

"Margaret, it's Danny Concannon."

"Danny, what can I do for ya?"

"Does she have any time today?"

"Today...?" Margaret flipped through the pages of C.J.'s schedule. "She's at OEOB now..." She kept on flipping." She has a couple of holes. How much time do you need?"

"Twenty minutes tops."

"She has about an hour or so between 2:30 and 3:30. Should I pencil you in?"

"No, I wanna surprise her, can you put me on the list?"

"Will do."

"Super. Thanks Margaret."

"Sure thing." Margaret hit the receiver with her pencil very quickly and hit another number on the key pad with her right finger "Gloria, hi, it's Margaret - I'm gonna need a hard pass." She paused and waited for Gloria to take the name. "Danny–Daniel Concannon—yeah for the Chief of Staff's office." She nodded her head and waited a moment. "Before two today." She waited. "Thanks." Margaret hung up the phone.

* * *

**2:25 pm**

**The White House**

* * *

Danny signed in at the front desk and greeted the security guard like an old friend. Everyone liked Danny Concannon. He was just that kinda guy. The only people who didn't like Danny Concannon were either people who were jealous of Danny or were someone Danny had once gotten the goods on.

Margaret wasn't at her desk so Danny walked right into C.J.'s office. His plan: get her to agree to have lunch with him based on his great use of charm.

* * *

**C.J.**

"We agreed to talk about this after the Inauguration."

**Danny**

"Not if you're working for Matt Santos we're not."

* * *

**Danny Concannon's Office**

**Later...**

* * *

Danny walked into his office and just stood in the archway. He said nothing, hands in his pockets, he held in his emotions with deep breaths through his nose. He had walked away from C.J. angry and heartbroken. His mind was almost a blur now. Her silence was like a knife in his heart.

Maisy's feet echoed in the hallway before she reached Danny's office.

She stopped short at Danny's back and spoke. "Where have you been?" Maisy exuded an anxious energy. "You had a meeting upstairs. I thought you said you'd be back before four?"

Danny didn't say anything.

"Danny?" she asked.

Nothing was said.

Maisy circled Danny and saw the side of his furrowed face. "Danny?" Maisy felt scared and concerned at the same time.

"I took a walk," Danny said through gritted teeth. He took a few steps forward.

"What happened?" Maisy asked with real concern.

He didn't say anything.

"Danny?" She circled him completely and looked him in the eyes. Her mouth dropped when she saw his face. "You look like your head's about to pop _right _off your neck."

Danny took a deep breath through his noise. There was a scary silence. He turned for the door and took fast steps away from Maisy and away from his office.

"Danny!" she yelled after him, but he just kept on going. "Danny!"

* * *

**C.J.**

"We don't have that kind of relationship yet."

**Danny**

" Apparently. We keep shoving the conversation downstream. At some point you have to choose to have a relationship, but you don't even see me in the picture, do you?"

* * *

**6:15 PM**

**The Home of Danny Concannon**

* * *

Danny came home only to find memories of C.J. everywhere. But, he couldn't be at work right now; his apartment would have to do. He just couldn't be around people. He couldn't concentrate. It was hard for Danny to do much of anything, let alone act like a human being after what she had said to him. Or what she didn't say to him. He needed time to decompress. His apartment was the only place he could be alone at the moment. It would have to do.

"_Thank you. That's useful information."_ That was the last thing he said to her, as he did everything to hold in his anger and hurt.

Better finding out now than later. The longer he didn't know the more it would hurt in the end. That's what he told himself.

Danny started to think that just loving her from afar was better than this. Better than the pain he was now feeling from her rejection. This pain was worse. Worse than the million times she pushed him away. All the years of loving her from afar was nothing compared to loving her up close. Nothing compared to finding out she didn't feel the same and that perhaps all those years of waiting had been for nothing. He'd given all his heart to her. Asked her to spend the rest of his life with him. But C.J. didn't have the same picture. It was the worst blow.

He always knew C.J. could be the ruin of him if he wasn't careful. Danny had put his hand in the metaphorical metal jaws, even after so many warnings, and now he was paying the price. Maybe this was what karma was. Maybe this was what he deserved for not listening to C.J., the fates, and all of Washington who had all said to stay away.

Danny took deep breaths so as not to breakdown, so as not to find himself throwing things, objects, screaming his head off, that wasn't what was needed, he needed to be an adult. He needed to relax.

Danny threw himself into a hot shower, so hot it almost burned his skin off, relaxing his muscles, and his mind.

He leaned his hand against the yellow tile walls, letting the water just fall over his head, down his face and lips, and over his new thinner body. He was now in the best shape he had been in since his early twenties, but inside Danny felt as old as he had ever felt. He took deep breaths, staying in the shower for longer than he might have any other time.

Finally he turned off the water, keeping his hand on the tile, his face lowered, the water dripping down his head and hair. He took a deep breath.

* * *

_"It's not like you picked him up at a bar last Thursday. You've been close for eight years." _

**–_Toby_**

* * *

Danny ran his hand through his wet hair and threw on a sweater and jeans.

Next he found himself in his kitchen, taking out a glass and a bottle of scotch. Danny quickly poured himself a glass. He then made his way through his living room, taking a gulp and then a swig.

He refilled his glass and set the bottle on a small table in the living room.

Danny walked toward his bedroom, but hovered in his doorway. He looked at the bed but only saw memories of her. He took a breath. This was his life and he was gonna have to deal with it

It was eight at night by now. He could do some writing, watch some TV, get some sleep, but he just didn't feel like doing much of anything.

Danny laid back on his bed with a sigh, as if to say, "look what my life has become." He was finally able to take a calm breath.

He set his drink on the desk lamp next to him and just stared up at the ceiling for about twenty minutes. He didn't know why. He ran the last two months of his and C.J.'s life over in his head.

Danny lifted off the bed with a groan and took the scotch glass with him. The glass dangled in his hand and the ice rocked back and forth. He found the scotch bottle in the living room and poured himself another glass. This was his third drink.

There was a knock at the door. His head turned toward the sound. Carrying his half-filled scotch glass Danny went to his front door and opened it.

There, in his hallway, Danny found the familiar face of the head of C.J.'s detail. He knew what do to. Danny let the agent enter his apartment.

Danny stared C.J. down, not looking away, not flinching, he wasn't gonna let her intimidate him, let her avoid the reality of the situation – they needed to talk. It was the perfect time. The emotional roller coaster of the day, not to mention the shots of scotch, made his body empty of the tenseness he'd felt before.

He never thought she would show up and he was fed up with running after her, letting her lead, he was sure it was all over. He was sure it had all come to an end. But, when there was a knock at his door he wasn't surprised. He wasn't quite sure what she was going to say, but he'd let her talk. He would let her talk, but never let her get away with hiding from him anymore. He knew her too well and he was ready for it.

Just C.J. being there gave Danny that confidence, that anger, that defiance, that sense that he was in control. Just her being there showed Danny that no matter what she said or what happened next she really did want to be with him and they would work it out — they would figure it all out. Still, through it all, he was able to see the pain in her face, just a scared little girl, the woman he loved and he wanted to make it all better.

C.J. walked in and Danny closed the door.

It was time for them to talk.

* * *

_"We're gonna figure it out– all of it. You can be scared. That's okay _

_But you're not gonna walk away from me because you're scared. I'm not that scary"_

**-Danny**

* * *

**A half hour later...**

* * *

Danny and C.J. just lay together on Danny's bed in silence, the first real silence of the night, it was nice. Fully dressed. Just lying side by side. C.J.'s body was arched toward him. Their heads almost met. C.J.'s tears had stopped, but she still looked like a woman who had been crying. They had the entire emotional day written on their faces. C.J. looked drained and like usual Danny looked oddly optimistic as he gazed into C.J.'s eyes. C.J. looked at the ceiling.

Nothing was said. Nothing really needed to be. He was letting her be. It had been a rough day for them both. Danny looked at the ceiling himself.

"Danny?" C.J. finally asked in the silence.

"Yeah?" he responded with a rasp to his voice.

"What do you want?" she asked with a soft raspy voice of her own.

"Huh?" He didn't know where she was going, or didn't want to.

C.J. lifted her head and looked at him straight. "You? What do you wanna do?" She propped herself up on her elbows.

"I don't know," he said with all honesty.

She looked at him with that open look of love, her eyes still moist.

"I want you to know." She leaned on her side toward him.

"I wanna know too." His own eyes showed his emotions. He leaned his body to get a better look at her eyes, propping himself up a little against the pillow and headboard.

"I don't want it to be all about me?"

"I didn't think it would be." He smiled.

"Danny..."

"I'm workin' on it." He nodded his head. "But, thank you."

"I want you to be happy." She sounded despondent.

"I am happy."

"Do you really wanna quit reporting?"

"I told you, I don't know." Danny looked into C.J.'s eyes.

She looked as if she was going to cry again. It had been a very emotional night.

"I'll figure it out." He paused and looked into her gorgeous face for a silent moment.

"I want us to talk about it."

"We will," he laughed a bit.

"I want us to talk about what it will mean. I want us to make it work...together." She smiled and a tear came down her face.

Danny lifted his thumb and ran it over her cheek to remove the tear from her face. He rested his thumb on her cheek for a moment cradling her face in his light hand. "Well, you're going to California."

"We don't know that."

"We do." He was sure.

"I haven't said yes- he could rescind the offer."

Danny lifted his fingers from her face. "He won't. He won't rescind the offer C.J." There was a pause and Danny smiled bittersweetly.

"I know," she said with sweet confidence.

There was a pause.

"I always thought you could save the world."

"I really want it," she said with a new found confidence.

"I know you do," he said with a chuckle and a smile.

"I can't ask you— I can't ask you to leave your life here."

"What life?" he said slowly and soft.

"You have a _very_ fulfilling life here, Danny," she said with concern and force.

"Do I?" he asked. "I want you to do what you want C.J. and if that means—"

"It's not fair for you to wrap your life around mine- just like it's not fair for me to tell you—"

"You're not."

"Danny," she stressed.

"_You're not_ telling me what to do with my life, C.J." He got a little excitable, but sweet, in making his point. "I don't have a life here. I don't have anything here I _want_ or need." C.J. tried to speak, but Danny ran over her. "Listen, I don't know what I wanna do with my life. I just don't know... right now," he nodded his head. "I need time to think it all out—I do. I know that, and truthfully..." He looked for the words and smiled. "The idea of picking up my life and moving 'cross the country, a change of pace . . . " He shrugged his shoulders. I kinda like it."

"Really?" She was floored.

"Yeah," he said with the intention that she shouldn't be surprised. "I don't know what I wanna do, right now, okay, right? And maybe that's okay. _I'll find it. I will_. I know I will. Just like you did." He smiled and chuckled a little. He was very confident. He took her hand. "It's just gonna take time. I know that – I'm used to that..." He smiled. "Maybe a change of scenery..."

C.J. smiled. "And sunshine and palm trees..." she said with a sexy tone.

"That too," he chuckled. He paused and looked into her eyes. "Truth is C.J. I like the idea of going into that unknown..._ together_." He smiled. "I told you that months ago."

"You'd really leave the _Washington Post_ and move all the way across the country with me?" There was a small silence. "You'd do that?"

"Are you asking me?" he said straight out.

C.J. got that shy look on he face combined with a smile. "Do you wanna pack up your things and move all the way to California with me?"

Danny's eyes twinkled. "Yes," he stressed and elongated the word.

C.J. gave a small laugh and they smiled at each other.

"I'll quit my job in the morning," he said with a sense of sweetness and anticipation, almost sureness. He smiled large.

C.J. let out an uncomfortable laugh. "Wow."

There was a large pause between them. Their hands intermingled playfully for a moment.

"I'll give my two weeks and then take all those vacation days I'm due," he laughed.

C.J. didn't know what to make of it all. It all seemed too real. "I..."

"This is happening, C.J.," he assured her.

"Yeah." She couldn't quite believe it.

"You okay...?"

"Ahhh..." She checked in with herself. "Yeah." She took a breath and saw how safe she felt. "I am." She seemed surprised. "I will be."

"Good." There was a small pause while they shared a moment. "Okay." He leaned in and kissed her sweetly.

C.J. seemed surprised the kiss was so short.

"It's late. You should sleep."

C.J. nodded her head. She took a breath and after a moment she nestled her head on his chest.

Danny could feel her tears on his sweater and they drifted toward sleep like that.

"Danny?" She called out as they were both nearly asleep.

"Yeah?"

"I really want to meet your sister on Thursday."

"Okay," he softly chucked. "Sounds like a plan."

C.J. put out her hand and Danny took it.

_Any minute now, my ship is coming in_

_I'll keep checking the horizon_

_I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing_

_Come crashing down, down, down, on me_

And they drifted off. Side by side, together.

_And you say, be still my love_

_Open up your heart_

_Let the light shine in_

_But don't you understand I already have a plan_

_I'm waiting for my real life to begin_

Danny opened his eyes to look at her, in the night, just to watch her sleep. He smiled, because he knew what awaited him at the end of the road.

* * *

"_I want us to talk about what it will mean and we'll make it work. I want us to talk like we're gonna figure it out together. I just wanna talk because I like the sound of your voice. I just want to talk."_

–_**Danny**_

* * *

**The Next Morning...**

* * *

Danny walked out of his bedroom to find C.J. drinking a cup of coffee and leafing through the _Washington Post_, which she had laid out on the kitchen corner. He was still wearing the same outfit from the night before – jeans and a cable knit sweater.

"You're awake," he said in his groggy sleeping voice.

"Good Morning, Sunshine." She looked up and smiled from ear to ear.

Danny made his way to her and kissed her.

"You sleep well?" He ran his hands over her arms.

"Yeah, I just got up early. I had to get my bag out from the car."

"Okay." Danny made his way to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup of coffee.

C.J. circled the corner toward the living room.

Danny sipped his coffee, leaned over the counter, and watched her get her bag ready for the day. She looked frazzled.

"I have these huge bags under my eyes from last night..." she said in a rush and gestured with her long fingers.

"You look fine– you look great." Danny said with all confidence. He took a drink of his coffee.

C.J. looked at Danny and she gave him a look. There was little basis for that comment.

Danny smiled back. "So ..." He trailed off. "I've been thinkin'." He stopped talking and she gave him her attention. "All this talk about starting over, getting the hell outta' dodge."

C.J. gave a small laugh and set more things in her bag as she tried to rearrange the bag for the most efficient packing.

"And tell me if I'm jumping the gun here, but..." Danny slowly walked toward her. "You're gonna be busy the next two weeks getting things ready and done with here, finding someone to sublet your place, etc...so really no time to set things up out there..." He trailed off. "Which means more stress once your done _here_–while you're here." He motioned with his head and caught her eyes. "What if I went out early and got things together for you."

"Really?" She looked at him surprised.

"For us." He lifted his mug cup. "For both of us." He took a drink.

"You'd want to do that?" She walked closer to him.

"Why not? I won't have a job as of tomorrow, what else am I gonna do? You can't do it -you're gonna be too busy here. And it's just added stress you really don't need right now. I can pack a few things, find a subletter, rent a moving van, and I'll go out a little early, look at some places, always check in with _you _of course, just get things settled. No hassle, no muss." He paused. "So, on January 21st you don't have anything to worry about."

"I do like that.." She was warming to the idea.

"Whatdya say?" He raised his eye brows with his eyes.

"Danny..." She looked for the words on either side of her. "You don't even know California."

"I'll learn. I'm a good learner." He grinned. "I'll need the practice if I'm gonna live out there, right? I wouldn't exactly call myself a west coaster." He took a drink of his coffee.

"Yeah..." she joked back, but still didn't sound so convinced.

He gave her a fun look before speaking. "I'm talkin' I look around- I find a place, you don't like it you can keep lookin'. You could stay with me for a while - while you look – if that's okay with you?" He waited for an answer and she shyly shook her head yes. He was glad he didn't freak her out. He took a breath. "I want to do this for you, C.J. Let me do this."

"Okay," she said firmly.

"Okay." He smiled and leaned in and kissed her.

They smiled.

He leaned in for another kiss and this time C.J. didn't move away.

_When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened_

_But in my dreams, I slew the dragon_

_And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane_

_I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again_

_And you say, just be here now_

_Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin_

_Let me throw one more dice_

_I know that I can win_

_I'm waiting for my real life to begin_

He just held her and smiled. They looked into each other's eyes as their foreheads met. They had been through so much and there was more ahead. They were almost there, tired and worn out, they had just a few more miles to go.

The next night Danny stayed over at C.J.'s apartment.

* * *

"_What else?"_

**–Danny**

* * *

**Two and a half years later**

**Above America...**

* * *

The sounds of the airplanes were heard outside the cabin window of the plane.

Danny looked out the window and then over at his wife. He saw her holding onto her cell phone for dear life.

"C.J.?" Danny got her attention with a big smile on his face. "She's fine." He paused. "Give me the phone."

She looked at him.

"You can't use it up here anyway."

"We shouldn't go."

"She'll be fine. C.J." He put his hand out.

"Fine, you think our child will be fine. Alone. Without us."

"C.J." He laughed. "At some point we're going to have to leave her alone." He put his hand on her hand and over the phone.

"I know." She tried to laugh it off. "I thought maybe in another forty or fifty years."

"Hogan's with her." He put his hand out and opened it toward her. "We'll call when we land." He paused and took the phone from her grip. "And when we get to the B and B," he laughed.

C.J. leaned back in her chair and they both smiled and laughed.

Danny gave her that smirk he always did.

They both knew the next trip would be easier and they were right. Next time, C.J. would be calm as a cucumber. It was just now, her first trip away from her daughter, that made her a neurotic mess.

C.J. tried to relax, but she only stiffened. She took a breath and gripped the arms of her seat, sitting up erect in her chair.

"May I get you something to drink?" The flight attendant leaned in toward C.J. from the aisle.

C.J. looked at the woman. "Yes, I'll have a corona and a side shot of tequila."

The flight attendant looked confused.

Danny leaned close to his wife and put out his arm toward the flight attendant. "Make that a cup of chamomile tea with a side of lemon." He smiled.

The flight attendant smiled and walked away.

C.J. looked embarrassed, but Danny only smiled, he loved it.

"First time flyers?" a woman on the aisle across from Danny and C.J. asked.

Danny and C.J. both turned their heads toward the woman.

"First time parents." Danny spoke for both of them. He shared a look with C.J. - they would a similar look the next morning at the Bartlett Library: pride, amazement, and love.

Danny smiled. He took C.J.'s hand and looked into her eyes. Memories of the past again flooded his mind

* * *

**Almost three years Earlier:**

**A week before January 20th 2006**

**The Home Of Danny Concannon, DC**

* * *

_Any minute now, my ship is coming in _

_I'll keep checking the horizon _

_And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call _

_It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon _

_It's just that times are lean _

Danny woke up early. He made the bed and got dressed. He looked back at the room for a moment. It was an odd good-bye to a place he had known for _almost two decades. New things ahead._

_And you say, be still my love_

_Open up your heart, let the light shine in_

_Don't you understand I already have a plan_

_I'm waiting for my real life to begin_

He smiled. The end of the road was near.

"You gonna be okay here, by yourself." Danny smiled at C.J. standing in his living room.

"I think I can manage," C.J. joked back as Danny wheeled his carry on suitcase behind him as he walked out of the bedroom.

"I just mean..."

"If I can't find something, I'll call, I promise." She kissed him. "But, thank you for taking me in now that I'm homeless," she joked about the fact her subletter had to move in early.

"Yeah, I'm good that way."

C.J. took his hand and they walked toward the front door of Danny's apartment.

"I only wish I was here to enjoy it," he smirked.

"Later," she assured him, inches from her face. She placed her other hand over their hands.

"Five days and counting." He kissed her and broke away to take his ticket and boarding pass off the kitchen counter. He put the ticket in his inside jacket pocket and put his hands out as if to say, "Okay, what don't I have?"

"Tickets, laptop, suitcase. Bottle of rum." C.J. had her fun joking face on.

"Check, check, check, and _check._"

C.J. smiled.

"The van is coming on Wednesday – subletter on Saturday before you leave for the airport. I packed up most of my things, I can send for the rest later. The truck should be in California by Monday. Hopefully, I'll actually have a place for them to go." He went for his coat. "I'm looking in Santa Monica, right. No LA?"

"It's all LA," she joked. "But, yes, Santa Monica, Venice–easier commute."

"Check." He sighed and looked at her. "I'm gonna do good. I'm gonna find _me_ a place…" He took her hand. "And find _you_ a place, or a temporary place, one with four walls and a bathroom, I hope, I can't promise." He played with her hand for a moment and just smiled large.

"The Hollis people mentioned a few places, but I have a feeling it's not gonna be what we're looking for."

"Yeah..." Danny laughed."Well, maybe for you—but the out-of-work writer, not so much." He looked around. "I think I'm good." He kissed her sweetly. "Good-bye."

She leaned in and kissed him hard and long.

"Well..."He seemed pleased and a little surprised. "Okay, then." He raised one eyebrow. Danny walked away. Her hand was the last thing he let go of before he reached the door. He rolled his suitcase along with him.

C.J. watched him leave. "Danny?" She stopped him.

"Yeah?" He paused with his hand on the door knob.

"Find a house." Her face was tranquil and calm.

"A house?" Danny asked with surprise.

"No more apartments. I wanna live in a house again," she said with a sense of sureness.

"Okay, I'll look for a house for you."

"For us."

Danny was caught in the words. He took a breath. "Okay." He nodded his head and smiled with a sweet calmness. He understood. His heart was touched more than he could believe.

C.J. smiled and took a breath.

Danny took one last look at her, put his two fingers to his lips and gave her a little of a wave and salute with his hand. Just one final look at his old digs and he was gone.

C.J. took a breath in and out. She was gonna be good at this. Even if she died trying.

Her mind raced with the possibilities for the future and she became calm and steady handed. She was ready for her second wind in life. She was almost excited. The long extended vacation she was on its way to beginning. C.J. was cashing in her own vacation days of sorts. Almost time to take a breath, almost time to start the rest of her life.

C.J. bit her lower lip. She took a breath. She was ready for her last week at the White House and soon her new life. It was okay to be scared and she was, but she was now also excited. New things were at hand.

_On a clear day. I can see. _

_I can see a very long way._

_On a clear day I can see..._

_See a very long way._

–**Colin Hay – Waiting For My Real Life to Begin**

* * *

"_We're gonna be good at new things..."_

**-Danny**

* * *

**THE END OF CHAPTER 23**


	24. Chapter 24: Ballad of CJ Cregg

**On The Road With Danny Concannon: **'05-'06

"_The Ballad of C.J. Cregg."_

**Companion Episode:**_ Tomorrow & the entire series (Bonus story)_

* * *

"_Talk in everlasting words. And dedicate them all to me."_

–_Words Shawn Colvin_

* * *

The following is a transcript from a segment for Sunday Morning on CBS.

To air Fall 2008 _Filmed July 2008_

Interview conducted by Sandy Britton

at the home. business, and on the road with Claudia Jean Cregg

* * *

Only three years ago C.J. Cregg was at the precipice of power. The first female Chief of Staff to President of the United States Jed Bartlet, former Press Secretary, and trusted advisor, C.J. Cregg was in the belly of the beast. A far cry from where she is now.

_(Shots of C.J. from file footage)_

What happened to C.J. Cregg, that dynamic wise-cracking face we'd all come to know from C-SPAN? Well, according to her most current book, "Redux," being released this fall by Random House, she reached burn out.

_(Shot of her book cover)_

A common occurrence among White House staffers, C.J. Cregg out-lasted all of the colleagues she started out with. She stayed in the White House for a record eight years.

_(Shots of the interviewer and C.J. walking through the halls of Hollis Foundation HQ)_

A near gigantic feat by Washington standards – a town that burns the candle at both ends. Men half her age had given up years ago, but C.J. Cregg was still kicking.

_(File footage )_

The Middle East peace agreement, Kazakhstan, the nuclear leak in San Andreo,

education, the death tax, MS – but after eight years in the White House, C.J. Cregg had had enough. She left for greener pastures: California, to be exact.

_(C.J. walking interviewer through the office)_

To this place...

_(Shots of the Hollis logo by the reception desk)_

C.J. Cregg is now the head, and mastermind, behind a different kind of checks and balances: the Hollis Foundation, a nonprofit foundation, almost exclusively funded by computer magnet, Franklin Hollis.

_(Shots of Frank Hollis)_

_(Shots of highways being built in Africa)_

The idea behind the foundation is to build highways to towns in Africa, so that supples can actually get to the people who need them. All Cregg's idea. Next job: Plumbing.

_(The interviewer walks into C.J.'s office and they are seen talking)_

Cregg has severed her ties with Washington completely. Instead of dealing with heads of state or fending off reporters in the press room, C.J. Cregg deals with grant money and road way budgets.

And why did she take this job, a less glamourous job by her own admission, for all the other more lucrative and less time consuming jobs she was offered at the end of her stint in The White House?

_(Shot of C.J. in a chair being interviewed)_

**C.J**.: He told me he'd give me ten billion dollars to throw at any problem I felt needed it.

**Interviewer:** A pretty nice deal.

So, how did this girl from Dayton, Ohio make it to all the way to the Oval office and back?

_(Shots of C.J. as a child with family, etc.)_

She was born Claudia Jean Cregg, for those who are wondering what the C.J. stands for, the youngest of three with two older brothers.

_(Parents' wedding picture)_

Her father, Talmidge Cregg, was a math teacher and her mother, Kathleen, a homemaker.

_(Picture of C.J. as a child)_

Taller than all of her peers, a towering 6 feet by the time she was 16, the young Claudia spent many nights alone, reading and talking with her family.

_(Pictures of C.J. as a teen)_

It was a lonely childhood by most standards, but Cregg insists they are some of her fondest memories. She recalls spending many hours alone with her parents and brothers, talking about politics and social issues. It help shaped the young girl for her life ahead..

_(Home video of C.J. and her mother, focus on the mother and family)_

But, when Cregg was 15, her idyllic life came to a crashing halt. Her mother, Kathleen, succumbed to cancer. It was a major moment in her young life, one she says affected her deeply. It's something those around her say she barely talks about. Even in the lines of her book, the hurt is still apparent.

_(Picture of C.J. playing sports with her brothers)_

Although her father remarried during her childhood for a short time, and then again after she had reached adulthood, Cregg's time was mostly spent in the company of men, which she says, in her book, contributed to her becoming a tomboy and a bookworm. It was at this time that she developed the now famous humor that would be her staple as Press Secretary.

_(C.J. at her graduation)_

Cregg went on to receive her Bachelor's and Master's degrees in Political Science from the University of California at Berkeley, and started a string of very low paying, unsatisfying, as she put it, political jobs in communications, at several PR firms in New York City and the surrounding areas.

_(Pictures of C.J. in her late to mid twenties)_

She worked only for female political candidates, in her effort to, as she put it, "_Bring the majority to the majority"._

_(Pictures of C.J. in her late to mid-twenties)_

After losing three out of the five races she worked on, C.J. found herself looking elsewhere in her quest to bring the female voice to the electorate. She worked for such groups as_ Emily's List_, a nonprofit group that helped to raise money for female candidates.

_(Pictures of C.J. working for Emily's list)_

But, after about ten years of rattling around in the political system, C.J. Cregg said she felt like she still hadn't made much of a rustle, going from state to state, hotel to hotel. She was tired and unfulfilled. She went back to California.

(_Pictures of C.J. in the background of Hollywood type events, in her office, etc.)_

In California, she took a job with an LA-based publicity firm, more high scale than the firms she had worked for in NYC, which helped pay off those pesky college loans.

_(Picture of the Hollywood sign)_

But, the next thing she knew she was being transferred to the entertainment accounts, something Cregg says she knew, and still knows, nothing about. She says she feel into a rut.

But, fate came knocking. Cregg was eventually fired from that publicity firm, and although it was not much of a loss, since she admits to having hated her work there, she found herself wondering what she had done with her life and where it was going. Ironically, on the same say she was fired.

_(Back to her office interview)_

**C.J.**: . . . a big red beacon arrived on my doorstep.

That red beacon was soon-to-be head speech writer and White House Communications Director, Toby Ziegler.

_(Shots of Toby & C.J.)_

Ziegler would later leave the White House under scandal, only to be pardoned later. Cregg had known Ziegler from her New York days. He had an offer for her: come work for Jed Bartlet

She answered the call.

_(File footage of the campaign)_

And they were off and running – running the dark horse candidate. Along with Leo McGarry, Sam Seaborn, and Josh Lyman, Cregg and Ziegler brought Jed Bartlet the democratic nomination and eight years in office. It was a whirlwind, and C.J. Cregg was finally doing what she had dreamed of doing with her life. And people were taking notice.

_(File footage of C.J. in the press room and at events as Press Sec)_

Known for her witty comments in the Press Room, C.J. Cregg was one of the most recognized faces in the Bartlet White House. She was very popular among the Press Corp and the press briefing devotees on C-SPAN, and a regular guest on the Sunday talk shows. She calls it a very happy time. Hard, but satisfying.

But, the times were about to get harder. Chief of Staff and future Vice Presidential candidate Leo McGarry had his first heart attack, and the very capable Cregg was promoted in his place. The first woman to hold the job, she made the cover of Time and Newsweek.

_(Shots of the magazine covers)_

Cregg writes in her book, "At first I was eager for the challenge, to be deep in the mud on issues, and to serve my president – a president I would jump off a cliff for. It was hard, soul-breaking work and after a certain point I wasn't sure I was up to the challenge after all."

But she was, although as Cregg put it, "I didn't have much of a life anymore. Not that I had one before." She served the job just as she had done as Press Secretary - with grace under fire.

_(Shots of C.J. looking pensive in the background of important White House events)_

She had been through other hard times in the Bartlet presidency: Bartlet's M.S. admission, Sharif-gate, and the abduction of Zoey Bartlet, but that was all a cake walk compared to what lay ahead.

_(Clip of C.J., Bartlet, and their White House colleagues)_

By the start of the final leg of their eight years in office, the Bartlet Administration was hemorrhaging staff. Josh Lyman left to bring Matt Santos to power, young hot-shot Sam Seaborn left years before for his own political aspirations, Cregg's trusted mentor and Vice Presidential candidate Leo McGarry was lost to a second heart attack, and her trusted friend Toby Ziegler, the man who had brought her in, her closest friend, left the White House in disgrace.

_(Shots of the leak investigation covered by the press)_

Zielger had leaked privileged information to the _New York Times_, the investigation had been focused on Cregg herself for a time, but Ziegler came forward and was immediately fired from the White House.

Cregg said it was a new low.

**Interviewer**: He was your most trusted friend?

**C.J.**: Yes.

**Interviewer:** That must have been devastating. You write in your book, "It was a new personal low. I hated him and loved him, missed him and scorned him. I wanted to hit him in the face with a frying pan and I wanted to give him a hug."

**C.J. **(Laughs) Yeah.

**Interviewer**: How did you handle it? I mean, how could you?

**C.J.:** I did what I always did. _(pause) _I went on. _(C.J. leans to the side and wipes a tear from under her eye)_

And she did. Here was the man who had brought her to where she was, by bringing her onto the Bartlet bandwagon – now they were on opposite sides of the fence, not even allowed to speak each other. And she wasn't even sure if she wanted to. Ziegler was later pardoned, and the two remain close friends, but only after a long struggle to become close again. The incident almost ruined their friendship.

Cregg says in her book, "People, in political circles may say that even now, after the pardon, I should disavow all contact with him. But I won't. Toby and I have a bond beyond friendship, beyond family, and beyond a spouse. He is my dearest friend. I would risk life and limb for him and he would do the same for me. I have learned we can't judge ourselves on past mistakes. We all must forgive. We all do things we're not happy with. Such is life."

_(Shots of C.J. in her house)_

Today Cregg lives here, in this house in Santa Monica, California, far from the beltway, with her husband of over two years, their dog Aster, and a goldfish named Gail.

_(Shot of C.J. coming in to the house as her dog welcomes her)_

She devotes much of her free time to her six month old daughter Kat, born this winter, and named for Cregg's mother Kathleen and her husband's mother Kathryn.

_(C.J. with her baby in the baby's room)_

**C.J.**: Say hello. Say hello. Yes, yes. _(Pulls the baby out of he crib. Keeps face away from the camera)_

**Interviewer**: Hello. Look at your red hair. _(She laughs) _No mistaking whose kid this is.

**C.J.**: _(Laughs) _No!_ (She bounces the baby on her hip)_

Since the birth of her daughter, Cregg goes into the office about three times a week, making the choice to work from home the rest of the time.

And don't even ask her about weekends. Cregg has a strict office policy. No calls on the weekends. All emergences must be relayed to her in person. Pretty nice for a woman who says in her book she once had to go three days on five hours of sleep — and at times wasn't sure how she had gotten from Friday to Monday. Now, it's good to be the boss.

_(C.J. putting her daughter back into the crib)_

Cregg's daughter is a late in life baby. At the age of nearly forty six, Cregg experienced a difficult pregnancy.

_(Shots of C.J. Pregnant)_

Both she and her husband had thought that the possibility of having children had long since past them. Finding herself pregnant well into her forties was a shock for Cregg, but so was how difficult pregnancy could be for a woman her age. Cregg is very honest about her trials and tribulations in her book.

_(File footage of statistics and pictures)_

In her book, Cregg explains that she tried to read up, but admits that despite her fear she had no idea of all the things that could go wrong for a pregnant woman her age. She say she and her husband knew it wasn't an ideal situation, but looking back now, they see how naive they both were.

_(File footage of doctor visits of pregnant women.)_

Cregg found herself with occasional anxiety attacks – common for any pregnant woman, no matter what her age – due to her surging hormones. Although she didn't have them as bad as she might have due to how heathy she already was, Cregg wants other women to know they are not alone.

_(File footage: Clip of C.J. speaking to a crowd of women)_

Today, Cregg lectures to working women all over the country about these and other women's issues.

_(C.J. at an interview in a lecture hall)_

**C.J.**: I just want woman to talk and have an open dialogue. I feel it's very important.

_(New Shot: C.J. steps off the stage area and the interviewer is waiting. The noise is loud.)_

**Interviewer**: Is it just like talking to the press?

**C.J.: **_(Laughs) _Well, they don't actually ask me questions. If only you guys were like that my life would have been much easier. _(She says this dryly.)_

_The interviewer laughs._

_(Shots of pictures of C.J. pregnant)_

During her pregnancy, Cregg had such things as pre-term labor and high blood pleasure, common in pregnancy for woman over forty. She ended up having to take two months off from work, a hard thing for a woman in her position to do. Stress was a problem, and reached its highest with the death of her father, during her eighth month, after his long battle with Alzheimer's disease.

_(Picture of C.J. and her dad)_

It was something she had been dealing with since her stay at the White House.

_(Picture of newborn baby)_

Cregg gave birth at 36 weeks instead of 40. All was well, but it was a very scary and emotional time for Cregg, and she documents it with heart and pathos in her book.

_(Shot of Danny at work at home)_

Cregg is not the only accomplished person in the family. Cregg is married to famous- in-his-own-right reporter Danny Concannon, notorious in Washington for his long successful stint at the _Washington Post_ – not to mention _this _reporter's colleague for about five years at the Washington bureau. Concannon and I started out with cubicals next to each other.

This family pedigree is nothing to scoff at.

_(Shots of Danny's covers and books)_

With two Pulitzers, three best selling non-fiction books, and an accomplished career in reporting on politics for over fifteen years, Concannon may not be a name outside the beltway, or beyond newspaper and political devotees, but he has a mantel only Cregg could go to toe to toe with.

_(Shots of C.J. and Danny together)_

They are a well-suited pair.

And did we mention Concannon was a reporter for five years in Cregg's press room?

_(Back to interview footage from C.J.'s her office_)

**Interviewer**:He was a reporter in your press room. You met him for the first time on the campaign trail.

**C.J.**: Yes.

**Interviewer**: _(laughs) _You know how that looks?

**C.J.: **_(Laughs) _Yes.

_(Something inaudible is heard from off camera. C.J. laughs. The camera turns to catch C.J.'s husband walking out of camera view)_

**Interviewer**: (Voice Over)That's Concannon making fun of us.

_(Shots of Danny's accomplishments and of him in the Press Room)_

Concannon's byline also happened to appear above coverage of many of the ground-breaking events in the Bartlet administration, including the revelation that Jed Bartlet was knowingly involved with the assignation of a foreign leader, Abdul Sharif .

_(Shots of the press covering Sharif)_

It made headlines all over the world and made Concannon a name the likes of Woodward and Bernstein. But, that wasn't the first time Concannon had his work picked up by _Time_ and _Newsweek_ because of something involving Jed Bartlet, good or bad.

Now, Concannon is working with former President Bartlet on a book about him and his lifelong friend, Leo McGarry.

_(Shots of the Capital)_

After years of facing off in the Press Room, it didn't fail to turn a few heads in the Washington rotunda when Concannon and Cregg picked up and moved to California to start a family.

_(Picture from their wedding)_

Cregg recounts in her book that while she was Press Secretary, she shared nothing other than friendship with Concannon. She insists to this day that nothing happened between the two until_ after _she was Chief of Staff and is very adamant about it. As is he.

_(Back to interview style in her office)_

**Interviewer:** You write in your book, _(Reads from the book_) "When I first met him I had an instant attraction, but I didn't know what it was." _(The reporter looks up for a moment to catch C.J.'s face) "_He looked nothing like the men I normally dated, so it wasn't the way he looked. He didn't act entirely like the men I normally dated, so that wasn't it. He was smart and he was funny, and I liked that, but since we had those two jobs, the thought didn't cross my mind. And it probably would never have, if Danny hadn't brought it to my attention. It was only after he hit me over the head with it, asked me on dates, flirted with me and completely threw himself at me that I really got it. But, even then we still had those jobs." _(She closes the book and looks up at C.J.)_

**Interviewer**: You could have dated him? But, you didn't?

**C.J.** It wasn't right.

And that's what you'll get from Cregg. People who know her call her one of the most trusted friends they have, the woman with the really long legs and the very big heart. You get that same impression when you meet her. Open, smart, kind-hearted, yet passionate and strong willed. And for those of us who have known Danny Cocannon for many years, it just happens to be the same impression you get when first meeting him.

_(Shots of C.J. with famous faces, friends, etc.)_

Just like everything she has done in her life, and continues to do – C.J. Cregg was doing what was right in her heart and right for the world. Personal feelings took a back seat. Much like her goldfish, which was known for being on her desk through out her stay in the White House, C.J. Cregg was in her own fish bowl – and not by her own designSo romance had to wait.

When I sat down with Cregg, I was amazed with how she came across just like she did on TV, during her press briefings: funny, bright, unflappable. She even looks younger, with the stress of the White House behind her. If only I looked so good after giving birth just six months before. I admit, I didn't. And I was ten years younger.

_(Shots of C.J. laughing and answering questions)_

_(C.J. reading the paper, Danny typing away)_

Cregg credits her husband for restoring her faith, although if you ask him, he says she never really lost it, she just lent some of it to him for a while.

_(Shots of C.J. working and delegating at the office)_

Today, Cregg is focused on her family life, perhaps a second book, her pets, friends, and the work she's doing in Africa, which has helped millions of people and is set to help millions more. Through her nonprofit foundation, Cregg spends her working to get grant money into the hands of people who can do the work she envisions. The foundation's funding comes almost exclusively from Frank Hollis's personal bank account, and most recently from businessman Burton Coleman. Coleman's addition to the Hollis Foundation's community chest brought a lot of attention in the media, generated tons of coverage and talk on the online chat boards, and found itself in more than one news cycle – not to mention the covers of magazines like_ Forbes_ and _Time_. But, from years of being in the publicity/spin game and in the public eye – Cregg knows such attention is fleeting and she's perfectly fine with staying anonymous – as long as her agenda doesn't.

Cregg no longer has to deal with government bureaucracy or budget appropriation committees, and she doesn't need a majority of yay votes in the Senate to do the work she believes in. And like most nonprofit foundations, The Hollis Foundation takes no money from the government, in order to stay independent. She is _fully_ in the private sector.

She says her years at the White House seem a distant memory, like another life.

_(C.J. on her front porch with her dog)_

So, does she miss it?

_(C.J. being interviewed in her office)_

**_C.J.: _**Do I miss? _(Laughs) _The long hours and the tons of briefing books? No." _(Pauses) _I miss the people. I miss the friendships. Getting things done together.

**Interviewer**: Knowing what you know now, would you change any of it?

**C.J**.: _(pauses for a moment) _I used to have regrets. But, not anymore. My life wouldn't be what it is if I had done anything different. So, no. _(Smiles) _I wouldn't take any of it back. _(Laughs) _Maybe, I'd re-think one of two of those hairstyles. _(Laughs and shakes her head) _No, no regrets.

_(C.J. smiles)_

And so, C.J. Cregg looks forward to more tomorrows.

_(Black out. Credits_

This is Sandy Brittan for Sunday Morning.

**Cut graphic of the sun. Cut to commercials.**

* * *

"_You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need."_

– **The Rolling Stones**


	25. Chapter 25: To Begin Again Pt 1

On The Road With Danny Concannon: 05'-'06

"_To Begin Again" Pt 1_

**Companion Episode:** Tomorrow

* * *

" _What a long strange trip it's been..."_

-- **_The Grateful Dead

* * *

_**

_  
Soon enough it will all be over  
'Cause tomorrow is today_

**-William Joel

* * *

**

_I wanna go home. 'Cause I feel so all alone._

_I wanna go home. I wanna go home. Lord, I wanna go home_

_Ever since...I ran away. Had troubles each night and day._

_That's why I wanna go home. Wanna go home_

–**Charles Brown

* * *

**

**Almost three years later...**

* * *

C.J. felt the warm sun of a California summer morning. But the warmth she felt wasn't just the summer morning, it was the warmth of her new life. She liked it just fine. She woke up with a smile these days more than she didn't – almost always. Life wasn't perfect, but that was okay, it was still pretty grand. 

She reached her arm out to stretch, and turned to Danny's side of the bed. She smiled to find a note on his pillow.

_Had to take an earlier flight. Kiss Kat for me. Miss you both already._

_Love, Danny_

She smiled and pulled herself out of bed. She slid into a light blue robe and secured it closed as she made her way out of the bedroom.

C.J. walked through Danny's office and through the living room, past the book cases and into the kitchen.

There she found a young blonde girl holding C.J. and Danny's red-headed child on one hip.

"Hey, C.J. I thought today was one of the days you went in to work."

"Danny had to go out of town." She kissed her baby daughter on the head and went straight for the coffee maker.

"Danny wanted me here 'cause he was finishing a chapter–do you need me today?"

"Yeah, I have some work to do in the house, but you'll probably be out of here a little after noon." C.J. finished pouring herself a cup of coffee and walked back toward the girls and the enter counter.

"I brought the papers in for you..." Karen motioned toward the papers set up on the counter in front of her.

C.J. let her free hand slip through the sets of papers laid out on the counter. "Thanks."

"Why you people get like five different papers, I have no idea."

"Habit, " she smiled. "He took the Post," she said in near-disgust, setting her coffee down next to the large stack of papers.

"No, I saw it. I must have dropped it outside..." She went for the door.

"No, Sarah I got it." C.J. gave a smile at her daughter.

C.J. quickly exited the kitchen to the left through the dinning room, past a shiny window, and out the front door. She took a few long strides, looking around for the paper. She was in a happy mood as she took sight of the lost paper on her walkway.

C.J. let her bare feet step off her cement porch and leaned forward to pick up a folded paper just steps away.

"Good morning, Mrs. Concannon." The mailman handed C.J. the mail.

"Thanks." C.J. smiled and took a look down at the mail. After a few pieces of junk mail, she paused. There, on the top of the stack, was a small off-white envelope. She knew just what it was.

* * *

**THE WHITE HOUSE

* * *

**

A mail cart went through the halls, dropping off mail as it went. The boy from the mail room reached Sam Seaborn's office, stopped the cart and walked into the office, which had once housed Josh Lyman, many moons ago. An envelope, just like the one C.J. had received in California, was dropped onto Sam's desk. The mail boy left the office and closed the door behind him with a slam.

"I'm here. I'm awake!" Sam Seaborn's head, which had been camouflaged in the dark office, sprung from the desk in his sleepy stupor. He looked around. "I'm talking to no one."

The door opened and the voice of Sam's assistant was heard from the bullpen. "SAM!"

"I'm here, I'm here!" Sam stood at a quick pace and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair, taking off toward the door.

Donna nodded her head at the First Lady as she was handed a stack of mail. Donna glanced at the stack off-handedly, but her eyes gave their full attention when she saw the off-white envelope. She cocked her head to the side to be sure it was what she thought it was. Donna smiled, but saw she was about to be caught at not paying attention by Helen, who called out her name with a question.

Donna looked up at the First Lady and agreed with her statement, whatever it was. Donna tried not to grin at what she held in her hand.

The mail cart made its way into the outer office of the Chief of Staff. The boy holding the cart handed Margaret, now Josh's assistant, the mail, and Margaret thanked him. The boy left and Margaret sifted through the mail for important and semi-important things. After about four pieces of mail, she fixated on a small off-white envelope. She walked the envelope into Josh's office and set it in the middle of his desk.

* * *

**The Office of William Bailey

* * *

**

The hallway was very quiet. It was the summer and little was getting done as usual. The door read: William Bailey, Oregon. The door was opened and a Secretary was heard answering the phone next to a standing flag of Oregon.

The man walking in held mail in his hand. The man approached the main desk as Will was coming out of his office.

"I got it," said Will, dressed with his shirt sleeves rolled up. He smiled and went through his own mail. Will stopped at a small off-white envelope. Will couldn't help but smile and nod his head.

* * *

**Columbia University**

**NYC, NY

* * *

**

The halls of the Columbia political science department were surprisingly cool considering it was the summer, but there was something about the old marble-floored school building during the summer sessions that kept the heat at bay – perhaps the it was the emptiness. The halls weren't as bustling as they would have been during the school year, although they were still busy enough, and filled with dim shadows and streaming light. It had that ivy league feeling.

Toby Ziegler walked out of his class room along with the scurry of young people escaping like a flood. Toby held a bag over one shoulder, and about three stacks of papers and books under his other arm.

A young boy followed on his heels like a puppy. "Mr. Ziegler, this is not a C paper, this is an A paper. I worked really hard on this one."

"Well, work harder."

"I did. I stayed up late. I read all the books, I did all the research."

"It doesn't matter if you did all the research and read all the books, " he laughed. "There's no weight to your argument."

They turned a corner.

"Just because you don't believe..."

Toby laughed, "It doesn't matter if I don't agree with your argument. It doesn't matter if you don't agree with your agreement."

"An opposition paper? You didn't say--"

"You have to be able to argue your own point_ and_ someone else's, Mr. Hockney. You think I like teaching summer classes, Mr. Hockney? You think it's the_ highlight_ of my day to come here and teach people who would rather be out at Coney Island? You don't think I'd rather sit in Central Park with a good woman and watch _Shakespeare in the Park_."

"You like _Shakespeare in the Park_?"

"Of course I like----" He looked the kid in the eyes. "You need more conviction. It's not all images and flowery language." He used his back to enter the offices of the political science department.

Toby turned into the office and encountered a large woman with a sour look on her face.

"Hello, Ms. Maxwell and how are we?" Toby said with sarcasm and a smile upon meeting the red-haired receptionist.

"It depends." She groaned dryly. "How long until I get to crack open the bottle of bourbon in my left-hand drawer?"

Toby chuckled, "Not long enough."

The woman smirked evilly. One could tell they both liked each other.

She handed Toby his messages and some mail.

Toby saw the young boy had still not left him alone. Toby gave him a look and yet he didn't move. "Go home, Mr. Hockney." Toby took his messages from the woman.

"I still think this is crap, Mr. Ziegler. That was a good paper." The boy followed Toby toward his office.

"Okay." Toby stopped, halfway down the hallway, and looked at the boy. "You think that paper was good?"

"I do."

"I think it's mediocre." Toby paused and waited for the boy to budge.

"I don't agree."

"Okay, then." Toby paused. " I want you to write me a ten page position paper on how your paper was the best thing since the Gettysburg Address. And how I'm a horse's ass for not getting Josh Lyman right on the phone to get you an office next to the Rose Garden."

"Can I write it on the back of an envelope?" the boy said with a cocky tone.

"You can write in on a box top from a Cracker Jack box, for all I care. Just make it good." Toby walked the three steps to the door of his office.

"Okay..." yelled the boy with a giddy smile.

"I want it by Monday." Toby walked onto his office.

"Yes, sir." And the kid was off and running.

Toby dropped the books and papers onto his desk. He threw his mail and his messages next to his books and papers, causing the mail to slide over to one side with a small sound.

Toby circled his desk and sat down with a large breath, setting his bag on the desk next to him with a crack. It almost knocked over the pictures of his kids and of C.J. and her daughter that were sitting on his desk.

Then he saw it.

Toby took his reading glasses out of his pocket and lifted the envelope up into the light for a better look. He was pretty shocked to see what it was.

"Ha..." he remarked out loud. Shocked wasn't even the word.

* * *

**Santa Monica, CA

* * *

**

C.J. looked at the envelope. She had almost forgotten she was now standing in the middle of her walkway wearing just her robe and a night gown. She walked back into the house holding the paper and the rest of the mail under her arm. She closed the door behind her as she read the address label: _The Bartlet Presidential Library. _She turned the envelope over and started to open it.

_And every one of us  
Has to face that day  
Do you cross the bridge?  
Or do you fade away?  
And every one of us  
That ever came to play  
Has to cross the bridge  
Or fade away_

_—Elton John The Bridge**

* * *

**_

**January 2006**

**Two years and six months before...

* * *

**

Danny walked into the empty house that he would spend the rest of his future in. His feet echoed through the empty house. The sun shined off the wood paneled floor.

A woman walked ahead of him holding a clipboard. All Danny heard was her voice as he looked around the house.

"It has a large sunken living room, great neighborhood, a pool in the backyard."

Danny could feel in his gut that this was the place. He smiled.

"It has an office and three bedrooms. Perfect for a family."

"Oh..." Danny caught her last words. "No, it's just the two of us." Danny walked over to the large sliding door. "Is the pool out here?" he asked, almost giddy.

Danny slid open the sliding door and looked out at the gorgeous backyard. He laughed. "You'll have to excuse me." He smiled. "I've never had a home of my own."

"The two extra bedrooms are perfect for an exercise room, and a guest room of course, a second office perhaps? Would you like to see the bathrooms? " the woman asked.

"Yeah, yeah..." Danny nodded his head and followed the woman toward the back of the house.

* * *

**Almost Three years later...**

**June 2008**

**A Month before the Library Opening**

_**Santa Monica, CA

* * *

**_

The sun shined huge.

C.J. swam in her own pool, in her own house, on her own actual weekend day off. How nice it felt. The bird chirped and the trees rustled a bit. It was a California day.

C.J. lifted her head above water with a splash and a sigh as the water ran off her face.

"C.J.!" Danny yelled to get her attention. He walked out of the sliding door and into the back yard.

C.J. turned her attention to him.

"Look who stopped by." Danny had a huge smile on his face and took his attention back toward the sliding door he had used to enter the backyard.

"Hey." Josh Lyman, his backpack over one arm, pulled off his sunglasses and stepped out into the patio.

Donna took a step after him and waved. "Hi." Her huge smile was glowing.

C.J. smiled.

"I thought you guys said you couldn't stop by," C.J. twisted off the top of her bottled water and sat down at the kitchen table. There were a few plates of food on the table.

"We didn't think we could but–" Donna started talking, standing behind Danny.

Josh finished her thought. "Change of plans, the President had to change around an event." Josh sat next to C.J. who sat next to Danny.

Danny shook his head while his daughter rested on his lap and he fed her. It was a gorgeous image of the two.

Donna stared at the baby. "She's gorgeous, C.J." Donna looked over at C.J. She bent down to take a closer look, holding her hair back slightly with her hands. She smiled huge.

Danny and C.J. smiled.

"I think she looks like you, C.J."

"Thank god for small favors." Danny chuckled.

The baby fussed and Danny took the bottle out of her mouth. He handed it to C.J. who stood and walked toward the sink.

"Can I?" Donna put her hands out with her huge smile.

"Sure..." Danny said with pride and in his Michigan tones.

Donna put her hands out and Danny, with two firm hands on the baby, handed her to Donna.

"Ahh..." Donna took the baby and held her with both hands, before taking the baby to her hip and starting to bounce her around for a moment. "Ohh... she's just so cute. Look at her."

The baby smiled and made gleeful noises.

C.J. came back to the table and smiled at Donna holding her child.

Danny looked at C.J. and smiled before looking back at Donna.

Donna smelled the top of the baby's head. "Ahh, she even has that baby smell..."

"Like a new car smell," Danny joked.

"Ohhhh, I want one..." Donna cooed.

Josh went pale.

Donna gave Josh one of her looks. "Don't freak out, loverboy, I didn't mean _right now_."

"What? What? I choked on an almond." Josh defended himself badly.

Danny laughed.

"Really..." C.J. trilled out with a sly look. She knew him way too well. In fact everyone in the room, excluding the baby, knew him so well.

"What? What?" Josh was feeling very defensive.

Donna set the baby down in the small bassinet to her left.

"Nice house? This new?" Josh asked.

"We've lived here for almost three years, Josh," C.J. smirked at him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, we..."

"I know the life Josh, you have nothing to be sorry about." C.J. was firm.

"Well, it's a nice place."

"Thank you."C.J. answered.

Danny took C.J.'s hand.

"So, you goin' to this thing, the library?" Josh asked.

Donna took a seat.

"Of course." C.J. looked at Josh."I put my blood, sweat, and tears into that presidency. They should be naming a wing in that place after me."

Danny chuckled.

"You know Toby got an invite." Josh put it out into the room.

"Yeah, he told me."

"I told him he should go."

"Me too." C.J. leaned forward, outstretching her hand and leaned her arms on the table.. "Anyone figure out he's writing speeches for Santos here and there?"

"How'd_ you_ know... I told him he couldn't even tell you about that!"

"_Cadence_." Danny and C.J. said at the same time.

Donna tried not to giggle.

"You too are spending way to much time together." Josh grumbled.

"Ya thin,." C.J. said in her great sarcastic way. She leaned back in her chair.

The baby cried.

"Right on cue." Danny stood. "I'm gonna put her down for her nap." Danny picked up his child with a huge smile and walked her out of her room.

Donna gave a cute face as the baby passed her. Donna's phone went off. "Sorry." She took the phone to her ear. "Yes, Ma'am." Donna put her hand up. "Excuse me." She let herself out of the room.

C.J., with a nod of her head, gave her an "of course" gesture.

C.J. and Josh watched her leave.

"So, you got yourself a little instant family here." Josh turned to C.J.

"I don't know about that..." C.J. smiled awkwardly. She looked away and down for a moment as she leaned back. She looked at Josh.

Josh smiled. "I never saw anyone more waitin' for a family to come along and hit them on the head."

C.J. smirked

"I'm just...happy for ya, Claudia Jean."

C.J. smiled sweetly at Josh. She took a sigh. "You too, Joshua."

"I told Toby he should go," he stressed again.

"Me too," she said softly with her eyebrows raised.

"The President invited him."

"That's what_ I _said." C.J. said softly.

"He deserves to be there."

"Yeah..." She nodded her head.

Danny came back into the room. He smiled at Josh and his wife.

"She down?" C.J. asked.

"Yeah."

Donna came back into the room. "I'm sorry. The First Lady needed me for a moment. Nothing huge. We still have about half an hour before we have to go." She sat down and smiled. "She seems like such a good baby, C.J. "

Danny and C.J. smiled.

"Does she sleep through the night?" Donna inquired.

Danny and C.J. laughed.

"Not at first, but she's gettin' there." Danny sat on a stool next to the center counter.

"Do you think you'll have more?" Donna took a hand full of grapes from a plate and put one in her mouth.

"Ohh, no..." C.J. stood up. "Danny's having a vasectomy."

"C.J.!" Josh yelled out with a little food in his mouth.

"Excuse me?" Danny was shocked."When did we decided this?" Danny asked C.J.

"I'm sorry, I thought it was just assumed."

"You know this seems like a private..."Josh stood half way up.

"Don't go!" C.J. firmly put her hand out but kept her focus on Danny.

Danny shook his head. "That's fine. I'm fine with it." He tried not to say something they would both regret. " I just wished we'd _discussed _it before hand."

"Ahh...no, really..." Donna felt awkward. "I think maybe we should go in the other–"

"Stay where you are!" Danny put his hand out to Donna.

Josh and Donna didn't know what to do.

"We have our hands full as it is." C.J. continued their conversation.

Josh's beeper went off. He looked down at it. "Saved by the bell."

Donna looked down at her beeper which was also sounding. Her face didn't look good. "We gotta go."

"Yeah..." Josh nodded his head while still looking at his pager.

Josh and Donna gave each other looks.

Danny and C.J. saw it.

"Something wrong?" Danny asked.

Josh smirked. "I can't say." He looked at C.J. and Danny. "Welcome to the outside lookin' in." He grabbed his jacket off the chair next to his.

"We gotta..." Donna motioned. "I'm sorry, C.J." She kissed C.J. on the cheek. "We'll call."

Josh shook Danny's hand."Nice job on the procreation, there." He quickly put his jacket on with a smile.

"Thanks," Danny smirked.

Danny and C.J. walked Josh and Donna to the door. They watched them leave, followed by three secret service agents.

C.J. closed the door and turned to see Danny standing in front of her.

"Do you want to have more children?"

"Ah..." Danny laughed. "Yeah, of course, I mean– not if... I don't think it's such a good idea to put you through that again. Not if it's not safe." He shook his head.

"I agree." She sounded a little disappointed.

"It all just seem so... permanent."

"Well, it kinda is..."

"No, I don't mean..." he raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah.." She paused. "They don't call it a late in life baby for nothin'." She sounded as disappointed as Danny was. "We have our hands full as it is."

"Yeah." Danny nodded his head in his understanding way.

"Not to mention, I'd just feel saver."

Danny took her hands. "Okay."

"I'd love to have another child, Danny, but not at 47. Not at 50. –"

"It's okay." He assured her. "I agree."

"Thank you," she said slowly.

"The things I do for you, " he joked to make her laugh.

"You can't tell me I'm not grateful. " She tried to lighten up the mood.

"Yeah," he smiled.

C.J. took a breath and walked away from Danny. Danny followed.

C.J. looked behind her. "Why do I feel like our past just sprinted out that door." She smiled bittersweetly and walked into the living room.

"Yeah..." Danny nodded his head. C.J. walked back into the main part of the house. Danny couldn't help looking toward the door and remembering the past.

_If you hear a voice call out your name_

_Saying you stop yourself from failing_

_And if he strikes you in his fear and shame_

_Well you can leave him to his ruin_

* * *

**January 21st 2006**

_**The Past...

* * *

**_

Danny was handed a pair of keys.

"Congratulations, Mr. Concannon, you have a home."

Danny held the keys in his hand and nodded his head. He took a deep breath.

_And if your dreams they wake in the night _

_And your heart is it a pounding_

_And if you cry out as you wake in your fright _

_And the wind it is a-howling_

C.J. picked her pictures off her desk with a bittersweet smile. She looked at each one with a nostalgic love and placed them in her purse.

_Maybe it's time to find another place_

_Where nobody even knows your face_

_No need to be afraid _

_For it's only freedom calling_

Danny sipped his coffee cup and stood in the empty living room which would soon be his home. Two boxes stood next to him, a small television blaring the Matt Santos swearing-in.

Five, four, three, two, one. It was all over. Eight years of waiting. It was all over. Danny, too, felt that bittersweet feeling, for C.J.

Danny smiled and chuckled a little.

C.J. handed Josh her keys and her last vestige of the White House was gone.

She was walking out with nothing but the clothes off her back. The way she came in.

C.J. made her way down the hall and caught site of Carol.

"Carol," she smiled.

Carol smiled at her. "It was a pleasure, C.J."

"Carol, what are you doing after this?"

"Today?" She laughed. "Tomorrow?" She smiled, "I got a job in treasury."

"Really?"

"I know, not as glamorous, but it's a job," she joked.

"Carol..." her voice went up as she spoke. "What would you think of coming to work with me in California? And I don't mean just answering phones. That too, but what you did here for me– and we'd work on you getting more responsibility as things went along. What would you say to that?"

"I'd like that," she was touched. "I really would."

"Good, then." C.J. smiled and put her hand on Carol's arm."When you get things settled here, give me a call and we'll get things going."

"Okay." Carol was thrilled.

C.J. smiled and walked off, she looked so calm and peaceful. She looked like she once again had a strong purpose. She'd never looked so at home in her own skin.

_If your tears begin to overflow _

_As you walk against the under tow _

_No need to be afraid. For it's only freedom calling._

_If you're sad because you're all alone _

_And your hands they are a-shaking_

_And your miracle cure's not working anymore _

_and the floods bank's close to breaking_

And after she left the press room, C.J. Cregg walked off into the streets of Washington, DC and never looked back.

_Suddenly you're on an open unknown road. _

_Passing all the heavy, long wide loads._

_It is time to make your great escape_

_And you can hear your freedom calling_

_I wanna dive into the sea of love, _

_but my knees they are a-quaking._

_I can see myself high up above _

_And there's no time left for faking._

C.J. disappeared into the background of nameless people.

_I no longer need to understand what it truly means to be a man._

_Only when I gave up on my master plan. Did I then hear freedom calling._

_Did I then hear freedom calling..._

–**Freedom Calling - Colin Hay**

Danny turned off his television.

* * *

**The Dedication to the Bartlet Library**

**New Hampshire**

**Almost three years later...**

Danny closed the door on his rental car and walked over to the other side of the car just as C.J. opened her own car door. Danny helped her the rest of the way by holding the door open for her.

They smiled at each other.

The summer New Hampshire air felt warm and comforting on their skin.

C.J. took her purse and hid it under her car seat. Not that it mattered with a few dozen secret service agents around.

She took a step away from the door looking up at the structure she had only seen in pictures and planning sketches.

Danny closed the car door behind her.

"Ready?" Danny asked.

"Yeah.." She let out a large breath of air with a large anticipatory smile. Her grin was huge.

Danny smiled back.

They took hands, clasping them together with a tight grip. They walked past the fountain and the people milling around, and over the brick drive in front of the of the building.

"Ms. Cregg? Mr. Concannon?" said the voice of a man in a suit.

"Yes?" Danny answered for both of them.

"Some people requested by President Bartlet are waiting in the lobby for him. You're welcome to wait in there for him if you'd like."

"Thank you." C.J. thanked the man for both of them.

Danny let go of C.J.'s hand and let her walk up the steps in front of him. After a brief moment Danny followed his wife and the mother of his child.

* * *

**THE END OF CHAPTER 25 Pt 1**

**To be continued...**


	26. Chapter 26: To Begin Again Pt 2

On The Road With Danny Concannon '05-'06

_To Begin Again Pt 2_

Companion Episode: Tomorrow

Special Guest Star: **Sadie Goldstein** as older Kat Concannon (Sadie's picture can be found in Imdb, I was unable to link it here)

* * *

In whatever arena of life one may meet the challenge of courage, whatever may be the sacrifices he faces if he follows his conscience – the loss of his friends, his fortune, his contentment, even the esteem of his fellow men – each man must decide for himself the course he will follow. The stories of past courage can define that ingredient – they can teach, they can offer hope, they can provide inspiration. But they cannot supply courage itself. For this, each man must look into his own soul." 

Profiles in Courage President John F. Kennedy.

* * *

"Michigan seems like a dream to me now  
It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw  
I've come to look for America."

–America Simon & Garfunkle

* * *

It's been a pleasure, Claudia Jean."

-Jed Bartlet

* * *

In the near Future...

* * *

From the low level of a three year old child the Bartlet Family farm seemed large and expansive. K.C. Concannon held on to her father's hand as the voices and faces of strangers to the small child swirled around her. K.C. stepped into the doorway and suddenly let go of her father's hand She raced through the crowd of people like a shot out of a canon . Her name was yelled as she ran, with glee, up the large stairs and from room to room as fast as she could. Running in and out of open doors and long homey hallways like she was in an amusement park. Shadows of brown and grey moved over her as she ran. 

At the end of the hallway she found a small room, the end of her adventure through the maze. The room was lit by a small light. The young girl paused at the first sight of a figure. Her big blue eyes looked up in a sense of half-scared shock at the strange man in front of her young innocent face. Running away from the crowd of unknown, people she had not expected to run into another alien face.

The man was sitting at a small desk. He took off his glasses and smiled at the small child in the door, a grandfatherly look. A look of kindness and age.

K.C or Kat, she answered to both names, watched the man rise to his feet by the use of a cane. He took a moment before slowly walking to her. His every movement made the floor creak. He took three steps and stopped.

"You must be C.J.'s girl?" Former President Bartlet asked the small child.

Her mouth open, and her eyes wide, her small red curls falling on her face, the child nodded her head.

Bartlet smiled. He was looking into her sweet young cool blue eyes. The cool eyes of youth. The cool eyes of the future. They were both caught at the site of each other.

* * *

Danny Concannon's former apartment

DC

January 21st, 2006

_**The Past..**_

Afternoon..

* * *

C.J. walked into Danny's apartment with a feeling of utter exhaustion -- one she couldn't explain, since she hadn't done much of anything that day. She dropped her bag by the door and took off her coat and jacket with a slow, fatigued pull. Everything seemed so quiet and empty with just herself in the apartment. No Secret Service outside the door. She was back to her former self again. Just plain Claudia Jean Cregg. 

Danny's phone rang and C.J. let it go.

"This is Danny. You know what to do." And the phone beeped.

"C.J.?" Danny's voice came over the phone just as C.J. was about to drop herself into a chair. "C.J.? Are you there? Pick up..."

C.J. walked over to the kitchen counter and picked up the phone.

"Hey, I"m here."

"I called you on your cell. I was worried."

C.J. smiled and sat down on one of the stools. "I went for a walk. I turned off my cell."

"You okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah." She took a breath. "I'm just fine." It seemed to be half true. She actually was, but it was still a sad event.

"You have plans for the rest of night?"

"Oh...I don't know..." she trailed off. "I thought I'd just order in some food..." She leaned forward and picked up one of the take out menus off a plate on the counter and lightly looked at it. She lifted her hand."Crash early for the flight tomorrow..."

"I'm stuck in traffic, you wanna keep me company?"

"Okay..." she smiled.

"Tell me about your day?" he asked sincerely.

"My day..." she trailed off with a sly bittersweet smile.

"Yeah...your day?" He spoke with passion and understanding. Asking her about the most important day of her life, so far, in a way that made it seem normal and every day.

C.J. smiled and signed. She didn't know where to start. She sent her hand over the edge of the counter top.

"Well..." She paused and took a breath moving her hair out of her face with a toss of her head. "Apparently, _we're _the talk of the town," she joked. She crossed her legs.

"Really..." he teased suggestively.

C.J. chuckled softly.

"I'm not even there anymore and I'm still part of the gossip.." he said in his joking way.

"So, you..." she got a little quiet. "I didn't think you knew..." she said with such concern for him.

"That we gave DC somethin' to talk about...?" he joked, but got serious. "No, I knew."

"It never bothered you?"

"I chose to focus on other things."

"When I saw Toby he knew."

"Yeah, well he had a lot of free time on his hands." Danny tried to lighten the mood.

"Yeah..." she trailed off. The mention of Toby had so much more weight on this day and they both knew it.

"Tell me about your day?" he asked again in the same sincere way.

She smiled and felt the winter sun beat in from the window onto her face.

"Danny?..."

"Yeah?"

"When I get back to California. I'd like to go for a walk." She paused. "A lot of walks. A lot of _long_ walks." She spoke with a sense of melancholy purpose.

"That sounds nice," he chuckled. "I think I'd like that."

* * *

The Dedication to The Bartlet Library

_**The Present...

* * *

**_

C.J. walked across the green lawn which mingled with the aftermath of the dedication ceremony.

She smiled as a nice breeze blew through the trees and she passed from the sun into the shade.

She put her hand on Danny's arm.

He smiled and turned from the person he was speaking with. He knew what she was after. He took a small white envelope from his inside jacket pocket and handed it to C.J.

C.J. turned and took sight of Former President Bartlet. She caught his eye.

Bartlet smiled at her.

Something was about to be done.

C.J. took long strides back into the sunlight. "Charlie?" C.J. called to Charlie standing off with Ed and Larry.

Charlie smiled and walked over to C.J.

"I wanted to talk to you before the ceremony, but I wanted to do this alone." She handed Charlie the envelope.

"What is it?" He looked inside.

"It's your new job. If you want it. _Human Rights First_."

Charlie opened the envelope not sure what was going on.

"They need a few lawyers to help save the world," she said it very matter-of-factly, but with a glint in her eye.

Charlie looked up at her.

"They're focusing on human rights in Darfar– you'd also be known as a human rights defender–support for persecuted human rights protectors and human rights protectors at risk." She smiled. "I think it's just what you're looking for."

"C.J... I..."

"Don't worry I didn't pull any strings." She smiled. "I just happened to send them your CV with a few good and kind words." She paused. " I was careful not to tell the truth," she joked. She smiled ."You got this on your own, Charlie. I just thought I'd help you steer the rutter a little. There's a card in there. You need to call Andrea Mitchell on Monday morning and you can start next week if you like. NY or DC. Your choice. " She smirked.

"C.J. I don't know what to say..."

C.J. looked at Charlie intently. "Just go save the world, Charlie." she smiled. "I highly recommend it," C.J. smiled wryly and walked off, leaving a shocked and proud Charlie.

* * *

_**The Past...**_

_The day after the Inauguration.._

January 22nd 2008

The former home of Danny Concannon

* * *

C.J. took a deep breath and scanned Danny's small apartment, taking it all in. Her coat over her arm, her purse over her shoulder, and a small wheeled carry-on in her other hand. 

C.J. had only been an occupant of the apartment on and off for the last two months, but she felt the memories within her, and the anticipation of her future, the anticipation of tomorrow.

That would be what she'd tell Danny that night, lying next to him, she felt the anticipation of a present leading from her past toward her own future. And something within in her made her want to run and embrace it. To go full throttle ahead. She was ready for tomorrow. She was excited about tomorrow. Finally the time had come. She knew in her heart at that moment that someday she would marry Danny Concannon. It seemed so farfetched after the last two weeks, the last two months, but not after the last seven years. Some how. C.J. was ready to run straight ahead into her future with full force. It all couldn't come any sooner.

C.J. reached for a red coffee cup sitting on the corner and tossed it in her purse, it clanked against the bottle of Merlo.

There was a knock at the door. C.J. turned her head toward the knock.

C.J. opened the door with a huge smile."You must be Maisy," she said putting out her hand to shake Maisy's. "I've heard so much about you."

Maisy's eyes bugged out at the sight of C.J. in Danny's doorway.

"You're C.J.," Maisy said with much surprise.

"Yes." She smiled.

The two shook hands.

"I thought Danny was..." Maisy was dumbfounded.

"Danny flew out to California on Monday." She took the keys out of her pocket and handed them to Maisy. "The lease is up sometime next year and Danny said you can stay as long as you like. You're going to school?"

"Yes..." Her mouth was open. "Ahh...Georgetown."

"That's wonderful. Really." She smiled. "Danny was so happy for you." She smiled huge. "We left a few odds and ends, the coffee maker, some fruit, things like that — you're welcome to 'em." She made her way past Maisy. "Enjoy." She smiled huge. "I have a plane to catch." C.J. made her way down the hallway.

"To California?" she asked in still shocked and amazed. "With Danny?"

C.J. turned and smiled at the girl.

"With Danny? You're moving to California. With Danny?!"

"I have a flight—" She smiled..

"Do you...do you...need any help with your bags?" She asked. "I feel I should—"

"Shipped everything out already. This is all I got." She smiled.

"Going..."

"With the clothes off my back." Her eyes glittered. "Good- luck, Maisy." She smiled. "And Thank you."

"Why?"

She smiled, "I just know Danny'd want me to say that."

"Well.." she said meekly. "Tell him I'm happy... _he's happy._"

"I will." And C.J. was off.

* * *

The Dedication to The Bartlet Library

_**The Present...

* * *

**_

People mingled around the lawn after the dedication.

"How's the family life?" Josh put out his hand to shake Danny's hand.

"How's the country?"

"Same old same old."

"So, not so good, huh."

"You got a picture of the kid?"

"Yeah, I don't know..." Danny laughed. "I'll see if I have anything," he chuckled. Danny took out his phone and opened it to show Josh. "I think she actually changed since the last time you saw her." He smiled.

They looked at the picture

"No _team_ Concannon? You should have brought the kid--I'm sure people would have loved to see her."

"The product of theBartlet administration..." Danny gave Josh a sarcastic eye.

Josh smiled and gave him a look.

"We feel she's too young to travel right now, ya know...well, I guess you don't." Danny chuckled. "Besides C.J. and I wanted this to be a few days for ourselves– traveling into the past."

"Before you had kids?" Josh joked.

"Yeah." Danny laughed. He put his phone back in his pocket.

"You think I could wrangle you away for a few days?" Josh looked at Danny. "Just a favor."

"I don't do that anymore, Josh."

"Just a day, a profile. We've been getting a lot of heat."

Danny put his hands in his pockets. "No, deal Josh."

"Come on... It's not a conflict of interest..." He could see Danny wasn't buying it. "It's not like I'm gonna tell you what to write--- you like Santos. I know you do..."

Danny laughed. "Thanks, but no thanks, Josh." He looked over at C.J. talking to Abbey Bartlet, Will, Donna, and Sam. "I think my days of prolific profiles four column inches above the fold are over and done with."

"Three books in three years. That's pretty prolific."

"Yeah..." Danny chuckled.

"You working on another book? Or are you completely out of the game now?"

"Been thinking of writing a book on sports metaphors in politics." Danny joked.

Josh smirked back at Danny. He put his hands in his pockets.

"I got a few things in the works." He smiled. "Maybe a new book. When K.C gets older I might look into a bureau chief job – maybe an editorship outta L.A., something that keeps me close to home.

"You ever miss the old life?" He raised his eyebrows a little.

Danny took a moment before speaking."Every day for fifteen years I went to sleep at two, woke up at eight--that was if I got any sleep, wrote all day, ran after stories, listened to briefings, and gave you guys a run for your money..."

Josh laughed.

"Which was fun, don't get me wrong," he chuckled. "Drank too much coffee and went to sleep alone."

Josh smiled and lowered his head. He looked up at Danny with his eyes knowing what was coming next.

"You know what my life consists of now? Every morning.. I wake up with an amazing woman and to my daughter's smile." He grinned. "On most days –after C.J. goes to work, I feed her, we read the paper together, and I write in my office, outta my house, all day, almost everyday." He grinned. "And I don't have to listen to the noise of a news room or...or.. a briefing room. " His eyes glittered. " Instead I get to hear my daughter laugh, C.J. in the background... and I_like_ that. I like my home, Josh. I don't wanna trade it." He paused. "I know it all sounds like platitudes and clichés, but that's because they're the truth." He put his hands in his pockets.. "I love being a father, Josh. It's wonderful. " He looked for the words. "It's changed my life." He was choked up for a moment. "So, no, I don't miss it. It was some of the best days of my life." He looked over at C.J. again. "But, I don't miss it."

"Yeah..." Josh felt a little ridiculous for having asked. Josh caught site of Donna and she smiled at him.

Danny noticed it and smiled.

"I highly recommend it Josh." Danny looked at Josh.

There was a long pause as Josh looked away and down. Danny could see something was going on there. He waited for Josh to finally say something.

"I...I don't know what to do?" He took sight of Donna.

Danny turned and saw where Josh was looking. "About Donna?"

"Ahhh..." he threw it off and looked away, but he gave himself away.

"You'll know... you're a menchy guy , Josh-- you'll do the right thing." He paused.

"Yeah..." Josh trailed off, not so convinced.

"You got everyone around you pullin'– pullin'-- Everyone wants a piece. You're flying around the world–changin' the world – back in the game. That adrenaline's risin'. Agendas, budgets, summits. Everyone's grabbing for your attention." He smiled sincerely. "She's not one of those people, Josh. The part of you she wants. You shouldn't have any problem wantin' to give."

They caught eyes for a moment of silence.

"That's all I'll say. I don't wanna be one of those guys. That's all I'll say. You do what you want. You'll know what to do."

"Danny, you always been this free flowin' with the sage advice?" Josh smirked.

Danny shrugged it off. "What can I say – maybe I was a bartender in another life."

"Thanks." Josh raised his eye brows.

"No problem."

Josh walked off toward Donna. "Excuse me for a moment." He patted Danny on the back as he passed.

"Yeah..." Danny smiled.

He watched Donna smile as she caught sight of Josh walking toward her.

"I hear you have pictures, " Toby remarked from behind.

Danny turned his head toward Toby.

"C.J. says you have pictures."

"Didn't we email you a few hundred?" Danny quipped.

"Yeah..." Toby chuckled "But, I have a feeling these are more _current._"

"Yeah..." Danny took his phone out and ran through a few pictures before showing the phone to Toby.

Toby smiled and laughed at the picture. It was a cute baby.

"It's scary how much like C.J. she's looking." Danny remarked.

Toby smiled. "Thank god for small favors." Toby joked.

Danny smiled and raised his eyebrows to show he got the joke.

C.J. Cregg-Concannon's laugh was heard, so loud it broke the blue sky. The two men turned toward the noise to see C.J., crackling and having a grand old time. Sam was next to her and took hold of her arm as he laughed with her.

"Thank you..." Toby said to Danny.

Danny turned his head toward Toby with a question mark look on his face.

"Thank you for making her happy, again." Toby said with the sincerest feeling.

Danny was moved by the comment. He nodded his head. He wasn't sure how to answer it.

Toby nodded his head and disappeared off into the background.

Danny caught site of C.J. looking at him and smiling. He smiled large back at her.

* * *

January 23st 2006

Santa Monica, CA

* * *

C.J. woke up to the sound of movers in her new living room. She smiled. C.J. lifted her head feeling rested and awake. 

C.J. walked into the living room, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt that read, "Foggy Bottom."

Danny took site of her as she walked up to him with a smile, his ring on her finger.

C.J. kissed Danny and he ran his hand around her waist and pulled her hip against his.

"Good Morning, " she said softly.

"Good Morning..." he grinned.

"How can I help?"

"They're some boxes in the living room."

"Okay.." she kissed him again and walked into the living room.

There was a couch wrapped in plastic and a few men walking around setting things down.

C.J. took her purse from the landing and walked over to the mantel piece. She looked over the empty mantel and smiled. Out of her purse she took several picture frames. One by one, she took them from her purse and set them on the mantel.

C.J. Cregg was now home.

* * *

A little over five years later...

* * *

"K.C." C.J. squealed. "Kat. Kat Concannon," she yelled in a fun tissy. Her eyes glittering and her hair in a shorter classy bob. "Ohh..." She took hold of her daughter. "There you are." She picked up her three year old daughter who wore only one sock. 

The girl giggled and C.J. sat her on the bed. "We're going to be late." She smiled and placed the other small sock on her daughter's foot. C.J. smiled at the red headed girl with her red headed curls and placed her daughter's shoes on her feet.

"Okay..." C.J. took hold of the girl on her hip and grabbed her purse.

The girl pulled down the sun hat on C.J.'s head.

C.J. smiled and pulled the hat back up. She then pulled down hers daughter's sun hat for a moment and pulled it back up again. They both laughed. C.J. reached down and took hold of her keys and they were off.

* * *

Downtown, Santa Monica

* * *

A sign read, "Meet the Author: Danny Concannon talks about his Autobiography: _DC Politics_: _My life on the road. _Downtown Santa Monica 12 noon. 

The room laughed and Danny smiled at the joke he made.

C.J. walked softly into the back of the hall, holding her daughter on her hip. She hushed the girl to be quiet as they held to the back doorway.

Danny happened to looked up just in time to see his two girls sneaking in the back of the small room lined with small tables and people. He took C.J.'s eyes.

C.J. smirked at him and adjusted her daughter on her hip.

Danny smirked right back while he continued his talk. He had just finished reading a passage from his new book. Danny took his glasses off.

"I didn't know how to end this evening. I seem to be better with writing about myself than talking about myself."

The crowd gave a small chuckle

"Well I'd rather be writing about_ other_ people, but..." Danny caught C.J. smirking at him again. He laughed "But, my household can't have only one best selling biography in the house." He lowered his head at his corny joke. The room laughed. "_So_..." Danny looked up. He cleared his throat. "When I was trying to find something to end this evening with I ah...I --my mind kept focusing on something my daughter said to me a few weeks ago." He smiled. "She's just three–" He chuckled and the crowd chuckled with him. "Which means they're the_ beacons _of truth." He took a drink of water. "She said to me– I was getting my book ready to be published and she's always interested in my work – we talk about it. We read her the paper, my wife and I..." He cleared his throat "And so she asked me, my daughter, this one afternoon, what my book was about this time and I said... me." He laughed. Some people in the crowd chuckled. "And this confused her to no end ---for my daughter, being three, has no concept of anything before she was born." He chuckled. "The world for her only exists at three years old – you show her pictures of me and my wife when we were younger and she starts to cry – she just doesn't understand anything beyond what's right in front of her. She can't see tomorrow or yesterday. It's kind of nice, isn't it? She lives for the moment. Anyway...out of our conversation my daughter, K.C. -- she finally said to me, "Daddy, how you did that?" He smiled. "And honestly." He got a little choked up. " I don't know how I did that. I just did. I just lived my life the best I knew how, with the best intentions. I tried to be truthful to my life and in my work. That's the best I can say. So..." he felt awkward. "Thank you." Danny closed his book that stood in front of him.

The room stood and applauded.

Danny shook the hand of a woman coming up the stairs to the dias.

After shaking Danny's hand the woman spoke into the microphone. "Let us thank Mr. Concannon. His book is on sale in the lobby."

Danny took his old leather bag and smiled as he made his way down the small dias. He made his way through the back of the room and the dissipating crowd until he reached C.J.

"Hey." Danny kissed C.J.

"Hey." She kissed him back.

"Daddy!" His daughter was very happy to see him

"Hello, baby doll!" He kissed his daughter on the cheek. "So, we going to the pier today? Maybe the zoo?" Danny said sweetly to his daughter's face.

His daughter smiled and leaned her head against her mother's shoulder for a moment.

"Yes, we are." C.J. smiled into her daughter's eyes.

Danny motioned with his head and they made their way into the marble hallway.

Danny chuckled and set his book, full of Post-It's in his bag.

"Mama?" The girl said in a lazy haze.

Danny and C.J. laughed because she never called C.J. Mama. It must have been a word she had picked up somewhere.

"Yes, pumpkin?" C.J. asked.

"I want to see Polar Bears. May we see a polar bear?"

"We'll see what we can do." C.J. laughed.

Danny smiled.

"Excuse me, Mr. Concannon?" A young boy about 24 approached the group. He saw C.J.'s face and recognized her, which made him awkward and jumpy. "Hello," he said to C.J. He lowered his head.

"Hello." C.J. smiled.

The boy looked at Danny. "I'm so sorry to trouble, you Mr. Concannon. I know they said you weren't signing your book, but I have my own copy of your Shariff book and I was hoping..."

"No, sure..." Danny looked for a pen.

"Here." The boy handed Danny a book and a pen.

C.J. watched on and smiled. She adjusted her daughter on her hip.

"I just loved your book on Shariff. It really made me want to go into journalism."

"Hey, thanks." Danny smiled. "What's your name?"

"Christopher, Chris. You can make it out to Chris."

Danny finished the inscription and handed the closed book back to the boy along with the pen.

"Thanks, so much. This is so awesome – cool, really super cool." He looked at Danny's family. "I'm so sorry I interrupted." He looked at C.J. "I'm sorry..."

"No, problem." C.J. smiled.

Danny chuckled.

"Thank you, really... " And the boy ran off. "Ohh, man..." was heard through the echoed hallway.

C.J. grinned at Danny.

"Mommy?" The girl spoke up.

C.J. moved her head toward the girl.

As did Danny, since everything their daughter did or said amazed them both.

"Why was... the man . . ." They waited for her question. "Asking for Daddy's au_to_graph?"

C.J. smiled and gave one sly look at Danny. "Because your Daddy's a big deal, sweetheart," she said in a joking manner.

Danny chuckled.

"But, not as big a deal as Mommy?" K.C. quipped, almost like her mother, but she was still too young to know what a quip she had made.

Danny laughed, "No. " He put his arm around his wife and started them for the door. "Not as big a deal as Mommy."

The Concannon family walked off into the distance and toward the door until they disappeared into the white sunlight of the outside.

* * *

The Past...

January 21st 2006

Washington, DC

* * *

C.J. walked out of Danny's building and down the stairs. 

_Well, so here I am at the end of the road  
Where do I go from here?  
I always figured it would be like this  
Still nothing seems to be quite clear _

All the words have been spoken and the prophecy fulfilled  
But I just can't decide where to go  
Yes, it's been quite a day and I should go to sleepBut tomorrow I will wake up and I'll know

She let her suitcase hit the ground and she took a breath in, for what she was sure would be a very final time in the January Washington air.

_That I've got to begin again  
Though I don't know how start  
Yes, I've got to begin again  
And it's hard_

She knew she'd be back someday, at some point, but who knew when she would return. It would never be the same. It would never be like this. Like this moment. She was ready, but still scared as she ventured toward the unknown.

She was saying her final goodbyes.

_Well it's been quite a while since I lifted my head  
And I'm sure the light will hurt my eyes_

_I see the way that I been spendin' my days  
And reality has caught me by surprise_

Her eyes got wet and she got a lump in her throat

_I was dreamin' of tomorrow so I sacrificed today  
And it sure was a grand waste of time  
And despite all the truth that's been thrown in my face  
I just can't get you out of my mind_

Time to begin again. Time to meet Danny.

C.J. opened the door of the black car waiting for her. No secret service, no pomp and circumstance, just a rental to the airport.

C.J. crawled into the back of the car.

"Good Morning, Ms. Cregg. How are we this morning?" The polite driver asked, having gotten her name from his clipboard.

"In need of some sunshine," she said with a glint in her eye. She shut the door.

"Okay, so we have a flight outta Dulles, 9:30?" he said looking at his clipboard.

"Yes, sir." She joked and leaned back, warming her hands from the outside cold. C.J. remembered she no longer had a need to call anyone sir, even as a joke. "I mean... yes. Yes I am."

"Will you be needing a return trip, Ms. Cregg?"

"No," she said slowly. "One way."

And the car started. And the trip began.

_That I've got to begin again  
Though I don't know how start  
Yes, I've got to begin again  
And it's hard_

**William Joel "Got to Begin Again.**

Danny Concannon never went on the road again.

* * *

The Present...

Santa Monica, California

* * *

Danny sat in the back of the cab, it was late, his three year old daughter was asleep in his arms, her head on his chest. He looked at her sleeping against his body and he couldn't help but get choked up. He looked over at C.J., tired herself, attached to Danny's arm. 

C.J. smiled at him, slightly bending her head to the side with a sly sincere smile. She knew what he was thinking. C.J. let her hand rest over her daughter's head and hair.

The car drove them home.

* * *

The Dedication to The Bartlet Library

New Hampshire

* * *

The front door to the lobby opened and C.J. Cregg walked in, her husband holding the door open for her. She thanked him with a smile. 

They walked up the small set of stairs into the library's main lobby.

C.J.'s face turned into a large smile when she saw her old co-horts standing together.

"Hey" and "hello," they all said intermittently as if the group had just been talking about the couple.

Danny and C.J. made their way to the crowd.

"We weren't sure you were going to make it, " Will joked.

"No, we're here." C.J. smiled.

Toby kissed C.J. on the side of the cheek.

"I don't know why I'm here." Toby said softly.

"You're here." she said matter-of-factly.

Danny shook hands with Will followed by Toby.

"Congratulations." C.J. smiled at Will and leaned in for a light kiss on the check.

"That was months ago. Old news." He waved it off.

"Well, I never congratulated you in person."

Danny made his hello's to Kate.

"You look great..." Will quipped with a smile.

"Thank you." C.J. took it shyly.

"I know..." Kate leaned in and looked over C.J."No one would ever believe you just had a baby." She kissed C.J. on the cheek. "Hello."

"Hello." She said to Kate.

"I see none of you got lost on the way in?" Charlie's voice was heard as he entered from a side entrance and stood next to Kate.

"Charlie." C.J. smiled huge.

"Didn't I _just _see you?" Danny reached out his hand to shake Charlie's hand.

Charlie leaned forward to take it. "Well, you know I'm ubiquitous that way." Charlie smirked.

"Did you find Mrs. Bartlet?" Will asked.

"Yeah, she said President Bartlet is in the back finalizing some last minute arrangements. He told her we should all just wait here." He put his hands in his pockets.

"Kate, I'm reading your book." C.J. smiled. "We're both reading it. I'm very impressed."

"Thank you."

"Well, I read it. C.J. still has it on the night stand." Danny put his arm on the back of C.J.'s waist.

C.J. took the dig with good humor. "I don't have as much time to read anymore."

"It's no problem." Kate said with assurance. "I don't have a baby and I barely have time to read the paper in the morning. It's fine. You'll get to it."

Danny took C.J.'s eyes. She looked so amazing. So alive.

"Oh, my clasp." C.J. looked down at her bracelet.

"What is it?" Danny inquired.

"The damn clasp keeps opening on my..."

"Let me." He took hold of her wrists causing C.J. to turn and Danny to catch her eyes again.

He smiled as he fixed the clasp on her bracelet.

She took his eyes and the smiled slightly at him with sincere affection. He lifted his hands off her wrist and C.J. laid one hand on Danny's chests and then the other.

The President entered and they all turned. C.J. smiled and Danny slowly lifted his hand off C.J.'s waist and put his hands in his pockets.

"Welcome," said Bartlet to his friends.

**FADE TO BLACK**

_Credits_

I will answer the wind  
I will leave with the tide  
I'll be out on the road  
Every chance I can ride

No matter how far  
No matter how free  
I'll be along  
If you'll wait for me

There'll be times when I rise  
There'll be times when I'll fall  
There'll be times when it's best  
To say nothing at all

Know when you're right  
I'm letting it be  
I'll be around  
If you'll wait for me  
If you'll wait for me

And I'll fight for the right to go over that hill  
If it always means something to me  
I will not be persuaded  
I won't be still  
I'll find a way to be free

In the cool of the night  
In the heat of the day  
If you're ever in doubt  
I'll be on my way  
Straight to your side

I guarantee  
I'll be around  
If you'll wait for me  
If you'll wait for me

Bob Segar Wait for me

I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive of my writing and this series in particular. I am afraid this is my swan song in fan fiction. I just needed to finish my final word on _The West Wing _and be done. So here it is. I am going to go through my "inbox" and see if I have anything I never finished, but other than that, this is it. I am going to work on my _own _things now – my own characters. I am sorry to go. It's been fun, but I must go on my own journey, on my own road, my own path. If this story touched you, made you mad, laugh, or entertained you in any way, please let me know... This is your last chance to let me know. I'm going cold turkey and off I'll go. Thank you. This has all meant so much to me. Thank you.

Ms. M

_And Special Thanks to Stacy, my editor, my friend, and my girl. This series and my writing would be nothing with out. Thank you for being you. _


	27. Christmas Specials - A Thank You

**As A Thank You:** To the wonderful people who have taken the time to read and review my work, not to mention send me such wonderful emails:

Please Check Out (2): On The Road With Danny Concannon: _Christmas Specials_ -

with Special Guest Star Richard Schiff as **Toby Ziegler**

**Our Mistakes** (Christmas 2012)

**Snowing In Michigan** (Christmas 2013)

Check my profile for links.

And Don't Forget to Review!

~ Ms. M 1/2013


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